Thanks again for any reviews you see fit to leave. They are greatly appreciated and I look forward to each and every one of them.

Remember, this is an AU piece and does not follow the same storyline as the show.

I own none of these characters. I wish I did, but unfortunately I don't. I just like to take them out to play with them for a bit...

Okay, this is most definitely not a happy chapter. I tried not to write it, but it just sort of happened. Please don't hate me. LOL! My muse is a beyotch sometimes. LOL!

The next few weeks went by without incident. Booth and Brennan were slowly trying to find their way back to each other after his fake death. Brennan was still upset at him for not telling her, but the logical part of her brain knew what it had been handled that way. However, the emotional part of her brain was still hurting over the perceived betrayal.

Despite her misgivings, she and Booth had married in a small ceremony. Only their closest friends and family were there. They had taken a short honeymoon and were soon back at work.

The only thing that seemed to stand between them was her pregnancy. Booth refused to talk about it. In fact, whenever she brought up the baby or her doctor's appointments, he changed the subject. Part of her wondered if he would ever love this baby like he loved Julie and Parker or if this baby was destined to never know the love of his or her father.

She finally confronted him late one night. They'd been working a hard case and she'd gotten home late and he'd already put the twins into bed. They were laying on the couch together when she felt it. She was nearly three months pregnant by this time. She knew that it was too early to feel anything, but she felt a tiny fluttering in her stomach. She wondered if it was simply her imagination. When she felt it again, she knew that she was right.

In her excitement, she grabbed Booth's hand and said, "I wish you could feel this."

When Booth realized what she was doing, he pulled his hand back quickly and looked at her. The way that he looked at her and shook his hand, it made her frown. He was acting as if her touch had burned him. She looked at him and asked, "What is wrong with you Booth? I felt the baby move and I wanted to see if you could feel it too."

Booth shook his head and said, "I didn't."

"Because you pulled your hand away like I was on fire. What is wrong?"

Booth shook his head and said, "Nothing.

Even though he said nothing, she could see something in his eyes. Something that seemed to speak volumes. She looked at him and took his hand again and tried to put it on her stomach. He fought her every move. She looked at him and asked, "What the hell is wrong with you Booth? I want you to feel our baby move and you are acting like you can't stand to touch me."

Booth shook his head and whispered, "It isn't you that I don't want to touch. I just..."

She looked at him, "You just what Booth? You don't love me. You don't love the baby. What reason can you give me for not wanting to touch me?"

"It isn't you."

"The baby..."

Booth turned away from her and walked over to the window in the living room. For the most part, he'd been able to avoid any talk of the baby for the last few weeks. Something that he'd been grateful for.

He couldn't give her an explanation for his behavior. He loved Parker and Julie. He loved Bones, but he was having a hard time loving the baby that she carried. Every time he tried, he was taken back to when the twins were born and he saw Rebecca in labor and then a few short minutes after they were born, he was told that she was gone and his life was literally turned upside down.

Brennan watched as he turned away from her and the rage that she was feeling. Maybe he didn't love her as much as he had loved Rebecca. Maybe that was why he couldn't allow himself to love their baby. She finally walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist and whispered, "Do you love me?"

She felt him sigh and he whispered, "More than anything."

She turned him around and stood a little ways away from him. She took his hand and tried once again to place his hand on her stomach. His reaction was immediate and it hurt her more than she would ever admit.

She finally looked at him and asked loudly, "What the hell is wrong with you? Don't you want me anymore now that we are married?"

Booth shook his head and said, "It's not you that I don't want."

"Then tell me what explanation you could possibly have for pulling away from me every damn time I touch you!"

"It's not you that I don't want okay! It's the baby! I don't want the baby!"

Brennan couldn't have been more shocked or hurt if Booth had slapped her on the face. She'd known that there was something wrong with him. Knew that he was having a hard time wrapping his mind around the baby, but to hear him say that he didn't want their baby was almost more than she could take.

He looked at her and wished he could take the words back. He'd been trying to work through his feelings the best that he could and he hadn't meant to just blurt it out like he had. Seeing the hurt look on his face, Booth knew that he'd hurt her. He finally whispered, "I didn't mean that."

She looked at him and said, "Don't lie to me Booth. I'm not stupid and you don't say things that you don't mean. You had no problem having children with Rebecca. Maybe you don't love me as much as you love her. Is that it Booth? If I was Rebecca would you be happy about this baby? I'm sorry that I'm not her."

With that, she turned and walked away from him. She walked into their bedroom and shut the door. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair and wondered how in the world he was going to fix this. She had it completely wrong. His feelings had nothing to do with loving her or not loving her. If he was honest with her and with himself, he loved her more than he'd ever loved Rebecca. That was the reason this pregnancy scared him so much. He couldn't stand the thought of losing her and being left to raise another baby alone. The thought of that terrified him to no end.

He walked over to the bedroom door and wasn't surprised when he found that it was locked. He sighed and walked to the linen closet. He grabbed a blanket and a pillow. He took them and laid on the couch. Despite being tired however, he couldn't manage to fall asleep. He wanted to go into their room and tell her that he hadn't meant what he said. That he was deathly afraid of losing her. Afraid of losing the love of his life. So, instead of being honest with her, he continued to hurt her.

He eventually fell asleep and it was sometime in the early morning that he felt her arm on his. He looked up into her eyes and saw fear there. He swallowed and asked, "Are you okay sweetheart?"

He watched as she shook her head and whispered, "I'm bleeding. I know that you don't want this baby, but I do. I need you to take me to the hospital. Please?"

Booth didn't hesitate and was off the couch in seconds. He was on his cell phone and called Angela. She was already up and getting ready to go to work when she got his call. She agreed to come to the house and watch the twins.

She got there just as a cramp hit Brennan hard. Booth looked at her doubled over in pain and wished that there was something that he could do for her. He ran his hand down her back and whispered, "Everything will be fine Bones."

She shot him a look and he could tell what she was thinking. That she knew that wasn't how he really felt. She thought that he was probably glad that she was going to possibly lose the baby. After all, he'd admitted that he hadn't wanted the baby. So, why should he care if she lost it?

Angela got there and Brennan could see the worry in her best friend's eyes. Angela hugged her and said, "You will be fine."

Brennan could only nod as she let Booth lead her out of the house. A cramp would hit her every so often and she would have to stop and hold onto him.

They finally made it to the SUV and Booth helped her inside. He turned on his siren and drove quickly to the hospital. He hoped that he could get her there on time.

He honestly didn't want her to lose their baby. He prayed that their little one could hang on until he got them to the hospital.

Booth pulled up to the emergency room and soon a wheelchair was brought out for her. He gave the nurse brief details of what was happening and then she was whisked inside. Booth was left in the waiting room. Waiting, wondering and praying that everything would be okay.

The doctor didn't come out for nearly three hours after they'd arrived. Booth knew immediately by the look on the doctor's face that the news wasn't good. He swallowed hard and asked, "My wife?"

The doctor smiled sadly and said, "She's fine."

"The baby?"

The doctor shook his head sadly and told Booth, "Your wife had already started miscarrying. There wasn't anything that we could do. I'm sorry."

Booth nodded sadly, "Can I see her?"

The doctor nodded and led him towards her room. She was laying on the bed and she was curled up on the bed. Booth couldn't see her face, but he could tell that she was crying. He could see her body shaking from the silent sobs. He walked over to her and whispered, "Bones. I..."

She didn't turn to face him. Instead she whispered softly, "I don't want you here."

Booth couldn't believe what she was saying. He put his hand on her shoulder and she shrugged it off. He said softly, "Don't do this sweetheart. I want to be here for you. I..."

"Why? You didn't love our baby. You didn't want it. You told me that earlier. Well, guess what Booth? You got your wish."

Despite what he'd said earlier, Booth hadn't meant what he said. He'd reacted in fear and anger. He whispered, "I didn't mean..."

She shook her head, "You might not have meant it, but it happened. You got your wish Booth. Now you don't have to worry about me having a baby that you can't love because it isn't part of Rebecca. I know that the thought of me having your baby is repulsive to you Booth. I hope you are happy now."

Booth looked at her and wanted to tell her so many things. He wanted to tell her that he had wanted the baby, but the fear of losing him had kept him from admitting that to her or to himself. Now, it was too late. Their baby was gone and there was nothing that he could do to take back the words that he'd spoken in fear and anger. The guilt that he felt at that moment was enough to bring him to his knees.

He shook his head and said, "I'm not happy Bones. I love you and it had nothing to do with not wanting the baby because it wasn't Rebecca's. It was..."

She shook her head and told him, "I don't want to hear it Booth. Nothing you can say will take away the fact that you didn't want this baby. You didn't love our baby. You..."

She couldn't continue because she broke down in tears. The normally strong Temperance Brennan was a complete and total mess. He had never seen her like this. He whispered, "I did Bones, I..."

She shook her head and he saw her reach out for the call button. When the nurse came into the room, she whispered, "Can you please escort my husband out of my room? I don't want him here."

"Bones, I..."

She shook her head and refused to talk to him any further. She wanted nothing to do with him right now. She wanted to be left alone with her grief and anger. She wore it like a protective blanket and at that moment it kept her warm and safe.

She was released from the hospital the next day. Booth arrived and took her home and because she had no other way, she went with him. She walked into the house and heard the sound of silence all the way through the house. Booth had taken the twins to the FBI daycare earlier that morning. He'd somehow sensed that them being there would be difficult for her.

He walked into their bedroom and she had climbed on the bed and curled up into a ball. She was facing away from him and he got into bed beside her. He reached out to touch her arm and she pulled away from him and whispered, "I want to be alone."

Booth wanted to argue with her. Wanted to tell her that they had to talk about this. He wanted to heal this growing rift between them. He wanted his wife and best friend back. However, something in her eyes told him that this wasn't the time. So, he kissed her on the cheek and stood and left the room.

Angela brought the twins home for him later that night. He smiled at her sadly and said, "Thank you Angela. I..."

Angela simply nodded and hugged Booth tightly and said, "Tell Bren that I will call her later."

Booth nodded and walked back into the house to take care of the twins. They looked at him and Julie asked, "Where's mommy?"

Booth swallowed and said, "She's isn't feeling well. She's in bed."

Parker asked, "Can we give her a kiss?"

Booth sighed and wondered if she would welcome them in the room right now. He finally told them, "Let's eat dinner and then I will see how mommy's feeling. Deal?"

The twins nodded and hugged him. They went to play in the playroom and Booth went to make dinner. He wondered what he could say to her to make her realize that he loved her and deep down, he had loved the baby. He had been paralyzed by fear.

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair as he sat the twins dinner on the table and walked into their bedroom. The first thing that he noticed was that Brennan hadn't moved at all. She was awake and staring into the darkness of the room.

He walked over to sit beside her and said, "The twins want to come in and give you a kiss. They want their mommy."

He heard her laugh almost sarcastically and then she said, "They aren't my kids."

Booth closed his eyes and whispered, "They are in every way that counts. They love you Bones."

She closed her eyes and Booth saw the tears slide down her cheeks. She finally whispered, "I love them."

"Can they come in?"

She nodded silently and sighed. She could be mad at Booth all he wanted, but she couldn't take it out on the twins. She did love them with her whole heart. She heard him leave and then she heard the twins running into the bedroom. She felt their arms wrap around her neck and she breathed in their smell. She kissed them and said softly, "If you go and take your shower and get ready for bed, I'll come and tuck you both in."

She heard their cheers and heard them running towards the bathroom. She smiled and then she heard Booth say, "You certainly made them happy."

She shrugged and told him, "I don't hate them."

Booth heard the unspoken words. She didn't hate them, but she hated him. God how he wished that he could go back in time and take back the words that he'd spoken in anger. However, he knew that there was nothing that he could do to take them back. He wondered again if there was any way to make her love him again.

Later that night as they were getting ready for bed, Booth watched as she got ready for bed. She placed her hand on her flat stomach and he saw her capture her bottom lip between her teeth. He swallowed hard and walked over to her. He took her in his arms and held her tight. She tried to fight him. He felt her fists hitting him and felt her struggling to get away.

He whispered to her softly, "Stop baby."

He felt her slump against him and then she slid to the floor. He watched as his composed wife dissolved into a fit of tears. She whispered softly, "Why didn't you want our baby? Why Booth?"

Booth sat down beside her and whispered, "It's not that I didn't want the baby Bones."

"You said..."

He whispered, "I know what I said. I didn't mean it sweetheart. I..."

"Why Booth? Why did you say that you didn't want our baby?"

Booth knew that he had to be honest with her. He finally looked into her eyes and whispered, "I didn't want to lose you. I couldn't go through that again."

Brennan looked at him and whispered, "What?"

"Rebecca died giving birth to my baby. I couldn't lose you too. I'm sorry Bones. I know that I should have talked to you and..."

She looked at him and whispered, "You were afraid of losing me?"

Booth nodded and whispered, "I couldn't lose you Bones. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else in my life. Rebecca included. I fell hard for you. Hard and fast. I loved Rebecca, but not like I love you. I can't lose you Bones. I..."

"What killed Rebecca?"

Booth swallowed and told her softly, "She had a heart attack on the delivery room table. Between that and the blood that she lost, she didn't have a chance. She never even got to hold them."

Brennan felt herself softening a bit at his words and she looked at him and said, "You should have told me. You hurt me when you told me that you didn't want our baby. I thought it was because you didn't love me. Didn't want me to have your baby."

Booth shook his head and whispered, "No... I'm terrified of losing you. I was trying to come to terms with it. I didn't want you to lose the baby. I promise you that. I'm so sorry Bones. I wish I could take everything back."

She nodded and kissed him softly. They hugged each other in their shared grief. Now that she knew about his fears, her anger lessened somewhat. She was still hurting and felt like she wanted to crawl into the bed and sleep until the depression went away. However, she looked at him and whispered, "Let's go to bed booth."

He nodded and kissed her softly. He walked her over to the bed and they laid down together. He gathered her in his arms and they fell asleep together. Nothing would bring back their lost baby, but Booth hoped that they could try again sometime. He would have to work through his fears, but he had a feeling that with her by his side, they could overcome anything that life would throw them.

Brennan went back to work at the beginning of the following week. She was still sad about losing the baby, but going back to work made it a bit easier. Work had always been her saving grace and it was no different now. The months flew by and soon the twins were getting ready to turn seven. That day would be a day of surprises for both Brennan and the twins. It would leave her speechless and with a smile on her face for days to come...