Author's Note:

Who Am I by Peace Orchestra

"Who Am I" is more of an instrumental piece, there really is not much in the way with words, but the 'sound' of it really suits this chapter. Try reading the chapter while listening to it, I think you'll get what I mean.

Naruto belongs to Kishimoto

Close Quarters Ch. 9

Hinata was eating her food slowly, thinking. Beside her, Shino slowly picked through his food – his chopsticks swirling the noodles in his bowl -- while Kiba basically inhaled his food. In between those two eating extremes were Hinata and Kurenai, though Hinata was dipping towards Shino's eating spectrum for that particular dinner.

Her sensei and her comrades had returned from a lengthy six week mission, a week after the Kazekage had only arrived. It was suffice to say that the group had a lot to catch up on, especially since they had not been allowed to share letters due to the high level of security involved with the mission. Though, Hinata somehow doubted they would completely understand all that had occurred during their absence, even if she had all the time in the world to try and explain the tragedies of the epidemic that had swept through the Hyuuga. Sadly, she was only allowed one day; she left for Suna with her future husband and the rest of the Sand ninja envoy the next morning.

The small squad dinner had been Kurenai's idea, though Kurenai was far too tired to cook (and the two boys could not cook anything edible, though they would try horribly given the chance), and no one had really wanted to eat out. Take-out food was the only option really left, not that any minded.

Hinata actually preferred it. In a few hours she would be expected to have a final and very formal dinner with her father, and she would know how it would end – just like the rest of the dinners that she had had with him for the past recent while. Neither would talk, and an uncomfortable silence would build until Hinata would excuse herself from the unbearable atmosphere, getting very little dinner as a result. No, tonight was a break from plain rice, with humble spices, subtly flavoured pork and crisp vegetables – tonight was a comfortable meal, the curried spices of the noodles burning her tongue, with vegetables soggy with soy sauce, all contained in a paper box.

Of course, now that everyone was eating, the meal was quiet, but when Hinata had announced her engagement, after much blushing and stuttering on her part, Kiba had started a verbal rampage (punctuated by sharp barks from Akamaru) that was only halted when Kurenai stuffed a take-out box underneath his nose. However, Kiba had already stated his mind quite clearly: he was totally against the idea of Hinata being engaged to the Kazekage, or to anybody, really. Shino and Kurenai had reserved their judgement, though Hinata knew that they both disliked the idea strongly, it was written clearly on their faces. They would not, however, likely say anything negative about it; at least Hinata did not think so. They realized that she was truly powerless in the situation, and not overtly shy and worried about offending someone, which was the most likely line of thought in Kiba's mind.

Kiba, being Kiba, might try and do her a favour by trying to put some backbone into her consisting mostly of verbal assaults that always seemed to work in his clan. Not that he would intentionally insult or offend Hinata, he respected her too much. But, he could easily come across too strong, especially with how upset he was, something that Kurenai had noticed quickly early on, and had taken upon herself to guide the conversation around safe topics. Eventually, with everyone being so involved with their food, that particular service was no longer needed, but, nonetheless, Hinata admired her sensei's sense of tact.

This was probably what she was going to miss the most – the quiet moments spent with her team mates and sensei where pure content was in the oxygen they breathed. Moments like these, so normal and trivial, were the few times she felt really truly happy, and that she perhaps belonged somewhere. It was a feeling that she had been desperately looking for of late, and was hoping that she could find it in Suna as well.

Hinata's mind became curious, wondering what the meals would be like at Suna. How different was there food there? Would she be expected to take her dinners alone with Gaara, or would it be with the entire household? Would she be expected to cook? How much would be expected of her? Hinata sighed softly, thinking that thoughts like those were far too heavy for a time like this, but did not know how to dispel them from her mind.

Kurenai noticed the crest-fallen look pass over her student's face. Poor Hinata, she's gotten the short straw all her life. Kurenai wanted to ask Hinata what was the matter, but knew that would centre the two boys attention on Hinata, something that Hyuuga probably did not want. Instead, Kurenai grabbed the take-out box that was full of battered shrimp.

"Hinata, do you want some shrimp? It's your favourite kind," Kurenai asked, holding out the box of shrimp to Hinata.

A smile tugged at Kurenai's lips when Hinata's face lit up, and eagerly thanked her sensei for the kind thought. Hinata was such a kind and selfless person, she really did deserve more. Perhaps this fiancé of hers will grant Hinata some of the happiness she deserves. If he doesn't, and only hurts her more, he better pray I never get my hands on him, was Kurenai's thoughts as she watched her squad eat, proud as a mother hen at how much they had grown, and how capable they were, including Hinata. The Hyuuga may or may not be aware, but she had grown up into a fine young lady, and a capable ninja. All that was needed was for Hinata to recognize those traits in herself, and the insecurities that had plagued her as a child would be nullified. Kurenai smiled softly at the thought, Hinata was very smart, but she was so naïve when it came to certain things. Someone was going to have to show her to see those things in herself, to teach her how to love herself by loving her. That 'someone' might have come along faster than Kurenai had ever suspected, though. Maybe, just maybe …Kurenai's thoughts hoped.

MWMWMWMWMWMWMWMW

Hiashi was severely uncomfortable. He was eating dinner with his only living daughter, and, surprisingly, with his nephew as well. It was almost ironic how he was eating with the only surviving pieces of his broken family, the children of the two people he had loved most. It was almost like he sat with Hiazhi – a proud, loyal brother – and Fuyuko – a lovely, wonderful wife. They were so much stronger than him, yet it was him that had survived death so many times.

He wondered what his brother and wife would say. Would his brother console him at the loss of Hanabi? Would his wife curse him with her tears because he was sending Hinata away? How would they react to the tragedies that had befallen the Hyuuga clan?

Hiashi wondered what he should say when he thought about the epidemic. That it had turned out alright, or that the clan had been devastated? It was true on both accounts, the clan had lost a number of the elders – the voices of wisdom and knowledge – as well as a number of children – the new generation full of expectation -- but the death toll was not that terribly high. It was the fact that many members of the clan were weakened, and some even disabled for a period of time that was most frightening. The Hyuuga had thought they were safe from danger, being the old and prestigious clan they were. No one would dare try and attack them. How wrong they had been, and their pride had cost them dearly. Someone had almost broke the Hyuuga clan, but Hiashi was going to make sure he broke them, who ever they were, for their troubles, and to make sure no one else tried to follow such a path. The clan could not afford for another such attempt.

Hiashi sighed softly, reprimanding himself for such dismal thoughts. He was supposed to be enjoying a meal with the last of his closely related living family, not thinking about the epidemic. Though, he might as well have had been having a meal with the dead for all the life that was in the room. Neji was obviously unused to the honour of eating with the Main House, and was probably suspicious if his slow and careful actions told anything. Hinata was slowly picking through her food, not having much appetite it seemed. Not that she had much appetite for the past week; she always excused herself before she had finished her meal. In fact, she probably looked ready to excuse herself about now …

But she did not. She slowly ate her food, while her cousin and father ate heartily. It was likely the last time she would ever have dinner with them, or even in Konoha, so she was forcing herself to sit and enjoy it, despite the small part of her that wanted to destroy whatever emotional ties she had left. Yes, she had accepted her engagement, being sent away, and being betrayed, but it did not mean she was not still a little upset about it (or a lot upset about it). And, yet, another part of her, despite her feelings of betrayal, thought leaving Konoha, for a little while at least, might do her a bit of good.

The Main House seemed to have a ringing echo, reminding its residents of the little light that had been snuffed out. It seemed to be a hollow shell of what it once was. It finally had become a place that Hinata did not recognize as home. The happiness that had been there when she was a child had decayed and rotted when her mother died and when her father's grieving turned him bitter. It had festered when an unspoken rivalry had risen up between her and her little sister upon their father's favouritism. And now it was a skeleton of what it once was upon Hanabi's death, the only reminder of the happy memories of childhood residing in the form of Hinata's disabled father.

Maybe she really did need a fresh start; a break from the expectations of being the heiress, of being a Hyuuga. But that line of thought only made it seem her situation more problematic. Would she be allowed to be a ninja still? What symbol on her hitat-ai would be appropriate for her to wear? What expectations would be placed on her as a fiancé of the Kazekage? It was all little things normal people would never worry over, but Hinata would worry herself sick over.

"Hinata?"

At the mention of her name, she looked up from her plate with her thoughts broken.

"Are you finished your dinner?" her father asked her, his voice quiet, as if he was trying to wake a sleeping person.

Hinata's pale eyes quickly darted around: both the plates of her father and cousin were bare, with streaks of soy sauce blemishing the pristine cream porcelain surface of the plates. Hinata's plate was a dishevelled mess: once-crisp stir fried veggies were soggy with soy sauce, rice was stained brown and peppered with parts of broccoli, and thin, chewy strips of beef were cold. It hardly looked appetizing, let alone edible. So much for enjoying her last meal.

Pushing her plate away, she responded with a soft, "Y-yes, I'm finished. May I be e-excused now, p-please?"

"Yes, you may, in a moment. Neji, you're dismissed, thank you for your appearance," Hiashi said rather briskly.

Neji quickly bowed, muttering thanks, and quickly disappeared from the dining room through the sliding shoji screen.

Hinata stared at her plate topped with her half eaten food blankly, listening to the soft whish as the screen slid open and closed. The room seemed a lot quieter with out the rhythmic breathing of a third person.

The heiress wondered what her father wanted. Was it routine but essentially useless questions parents asked when their children left home for lengthy periods of time (had they finished packing … did they pack extra underwear and socks … had they remembered to pack everything). Hinata was afraid of those questions from her father, fearing that she would cry at the attempt of sentiment from her stony father. It would a twist of the figurative sword he had stabbed into her side when he had betrayed her.

Instead, a small, plain wooden box was pushed in front of her by her father's hand – a hand with veins clearly being seen snaking across the back of it, and with fingers starting to thicken at the joints with early signs of arthritis.

Looking up at her father with a question in her eyes, she received an expectant nod from Hiashi. There was a grim look on his face that was overlapped with components of remembering a happy memory.

Cautiously, Hinata opened the lid. The inside was lined with dark blue velvet that almost matched her hair. A locket on a chain lay coiled inside. Picking it up carefully, wonder spread vividly across her features. The silver chain was thick, almost thick enough to be a classed as a man's necklace chain, with flat interlocking links. There was a giant blob of solder accompanied with smaller ones that marred the circle of what could have been beautiful chain – it obviously had been repaired repeatedly, and without the aid of a jewellery craftsman. The locket was oval shaped and roughly the size of the pad of her thumb and with its very feminine appearance it looked out of place on the rather masculine chain. The locket's exterior was unmarked with any engraving, and the silver was dark in spots with tarnish. The ring that held the locket to the chain was reinforced with so much solder that it was a surprise the locket was not soldered to the chain.

With the curio lying in her palm Hinata looked at her father again, her eyebrows raised with surprise. Again, her father just expectantly nodded his head, indicating she should open it. With disbelief and curiosity Hinata slid her thumbnail through the clasp, effectively popping the locket open with a soft, metallic-popping twang. There was two miniatures painted on the curved inside on both locket doors. Bringing the locket to her eyes, a puzzled look fell across her face. On the left side of the locket there was a man bearing a strong resemblance to her father, except there were fewer harsh lines creasing his face, and the mysterious man was smiling while proudly holding a sleeping baby girl with brown hair. On the right side of the locket there was a woman Hinata thought she recognized. She had thick, dark cobalt-blue hair, heavy lidded eyes, and a soft looking face. Hinata could have sworn it was a prettier version of herself. The woman, too, was holding a child, but one that was about four or more years older than the baby the man was holding. The little girl was smiling brightly while being hugged by the cobalt haired woman, and had the little girl, too, had cobalt blue hair. Cut in a style that Hinata had had only recently grown out. Wait, is this supposed to be ... Hinata started to wonder.

"You had gotten a hold of a pair of scissors and had cut your hair two days before you were supposed to be painted with your mother for that. I was furious, you had such lovely long hair, but your mother had just laughed when she found you in her room, your work littered on the floor," Hiashi sighed, an airy laughter breathing into his voice, "You were very good at making messes. Your sister never made messes, but she cried a lot, though, you never really did. Cry, that is."

Hinata was thoroughly confused, which seemed to happen in abundance of late. Hinata held out the locket to her father by the chain, not knowing really what to do with it. What was the point of showing her this, and why now of all times?

Hiashi replaced the locket and chain back into his daughter's hand, curling her fingers over it has he did so. "It was your mother's. She had the miniatures made up soon after your sister was born. She never took it off. I told her so many times to get a new chain for it, but the chain had belonged to her father and she refused to replace it. She never really took it off that I can remember, except … when …" Hiashi coughed, getting rid of the emotions that were beginning choke him, "I think she would want you to have it, and I think you're old enough now to take good care of it. So, it's yours now. You're dismissed, have a safe journey tomorrow."

Hinata turned to leave, feeling a pang in her chest. Her father looked so old, and weary. Her desire to hate him for his betrayal wavered, and now she was uncertain how to proceed. She had wanted to get a clean break and leave without any ties reminding her of what she had, but what had just happened changed everything. After everything he had done she still loved her father unconditionally. Perhaps she was more wary, but she loved him and was still as eager for his approval and praise like she had always been.

Feeling a compulsive urge to show her feelings, and so she could leave without any regrets to hold her back, Hinata pivoted on her foot and gave her father a quick hug with a quick "good night" before dashing off. She knew her father had not expected that, she could tell by the way his muscles instinctively flinched, but she felt better now that she had done that. Now she could leave with a clean slate.

Now, it was the matter of the locket. It felt heavy in her hand, like a lead weight. It was her mother's! That very thought excited her so much that it was almost a crushing feeling in her chest. Her memories of her mother were sparse and fractured – Fuyuko had died when Hinata was fairly young, when she was a child about seven or eight. She barely remembered that she had cut her own hair, she remembered her mother singing as she trimmed the ragged edges of her hair. Her mother had been a very silent woman, but had been full of smiles, and gave them away freely. She had also used to sing her and Hanabi to sleep, and she had such a beautiful and haunting voice.

Hinata was in her room; her feet had taken her where she had wanted to go while her mind was enveloped in memories past. Her room was mostly untouched, choosing to keep most of her knickknacks and childhood items at the Main House. They would be safe enough, and they would only weigh her down, and she knew she would need all the speed she could require to keep up with the Sand ninja envoy the next morning. Aside from clothes and essentials, the only thing she had packed with her that had sentimental value was a embellished kunai her sister had given her for a birthday one year, her first stuffed animal (a small white teddy bear that had turned a grey with age), a set of shinbon from Neji she had never used but they had been one of the first gifts he had given her, her first hitat-ai from when she became a genin, a family photo taken when Hanabi had started going to the academy and a team photo of her squad cell. And now, she had her mother's necklace.

She toyed with the idea of leaving it behind, but she knew that deep down she could never let go of the little treasure now that she had found it. But she could never she herself actually wearing it. She could easily imagine her mother wearing it, she had been full of confidence, Hinata remembered. Out of curiosity, Hinata slipped off her hitat-ai and reluctantly pulled on the necklace.

The heavy weight of the silver felt warm against her skin, and it was comforting weight. The chain was longer than she expected, letting the locket hang in the hollow between her breasts. Looking at a mirror, Hinata was rather shocked. Expecting the necklace to look garish on her it looked like it belonged, the soldered links hardly noticeable. With a sudden compelling urge Hinata tucked the necklace in her shirt. With the necklace suddenly hidden, Hinata smiled unknowingly. Hinata felt closer to her family than she had in ages with the metal warming to the temperature of her skin. Was this how her mother had felt like when had worn it – knowing that she carried a piece of her family with her at all times? With a sudden peace blanketing her Hinata went to bed, knowing she would be prepared for everything and anything that Gaara or Suna threw her way.

MWMWMWMWWMWMWMW

It was early morning, the sky grey with a misty dawn. It was going to be another humid day in Konoha. Hopefully, though, it would be cooler under the canopy of the giant trees that made up the landscape of Konoha.

Hinata had gotten up early, not wanting to be late for the departure. She knew she was early, and was surprised when most of the envoy from the Sand village was already present outside the hotel. She felt a little awkward around the far more battle scarred adults of the envoy, but Temari suddenly appeared, easily giving introductions and giving a relaxed mood to the air.

In ten minutes everyone was ready and set to go, and Hinata was really glad she had decided to get up early. She would have felt horrible if she had known that she had made people wait for her.

Wordlessly, the envoy moved forward, out of Konoha. Hinata kept close to Temari, getting a sense of comfort from the older kunoichi. Hinata would have kept herself closer to Gaara, given the circumstances it made sense, but he was talking to a fierce looking ninja that had his face half covered by a veil. Hinata knew she had nothing to fear, but they had the same blood covered confidence that Ibiki had, and he had frightened her terribly. Though, Hinata was surprised at relaxed she herself was, the fear she was feeling a buried kernel. With every step she felt the necklace shift across her skin, and the thought of it being in contact with her skin was so soothing.

This was a fresh start, and she was going to do her best. It might not have been of her own choice, but she would refuse to back down. She was going to keep up with the rest of the envoy, and prove that she was as good as any one of them. She would show that the fiancé of the Kazekage was not some useless kunoichi that had been dropped on their Kage because of her breeding. She had the enormous confidence that she could do it too.

Author's Note:

You know, when I got about half way I was worried this would be too short, but it seems I'm capable of writing pretty decent lengthy chapters. So yes, this is more or less filler, but I felt that having everyone's viewpoints, especially from those important people in Hinata's life, like her squad, are important details that always seem to get skipped over in GaaHina fics. I think people are in such a rush to get Hinata to Suna, they forget the impact that can have on those people in her life. It affects more than the Hyuuga, it affects a lot of the ninja, especially the rookie nine ('cause if they're missing a person they really can't be the rookie nine now can they?)

Don't worry though, the next chapter will make up for the lack of nothing in this chapter, I assure you.