A/N: Is it getting redundant for me to keep telling you guys how wonderful you are? Well, you just won't stop, so I've got to tell you again. On a small side note: Robertson Davies is an amazing author and if you haven't read his works, particularly the trilogy that begins with Fifth Business, I completely recommend them. Enjoy this chapter. I'm excited for the next one, and I think you guys will be, too. ;) Reviews are love.

Chapter Eight

The world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is, in fact, a return to the idealized past.

-- Robertson Davies, from Voices in the Attic

"M'lady." Lucas tipped an imaginary hat and extended a bouquet of lilies toward Peyton when she opened the door for him.

Her heart melted, but Brooke spoke up from behind her before Peyton could form a response. "Aw," she cooed, one hand over her heart. "You're such a classic romantic, Lucas Scott."

He smirked sweetly and replied, "Thanks, Brooke," but he didn't take his eyes off of Peyton as she accepted the flowers from him.

"You got me lilies," she breathed, smiling softly as they locked eyes.

"Oh, God, you're like fourteen-year-olds," Brooke sighed. "P. Sawyer, quit undressing him with your eyes, search for a vase, get all blush-y and gushy, and get your asses out of here." She rolled her eyes, propping her elbows up on the counter while Peyton spun around and headed into the kitchen in search of a vase. "I don't really see why this whole traditional dating thing – second cupboard on the left, P.," she lazily directed her friend, " – is necessary. You two were together for years, you're still so obviously in love…" She popped a grape into her mouth and kinked her eyebrows. "Plus we all caught you makin' out at Naley's the other night."

Peyton turned off the tap and set the now-filled vase on the counter. "We were not making out," she insisted. Mumbling, she added, "And I was not undressing him with my eyes."

Brooke grinned. "You two are adorable."

Peyton gently placed the flowers in the vase and then strode across the kitchen. "We're also leaving. Let's go, Luke."

"Aw, P. Sawyer, you can't blame me, can you? I'm living with my guy; I don't get to do all this cutesy stuff anymore!" Her eyes lit up as she turned to Lucas. "Ooh! Are you gonna kiss her on the porch when you drop her off? Are you?" she demanded eagerly, practically bouncing up and down.

"Bye," Peyton said pointedly as she picked up her purse and walked out the door, tugging on Lucas' sleeve to pull him out after her.

"Bye, Brooke," he added laughingly, allowing Peyton to drag him along.

"Are you?" she asked once more, brown eyes gleaming.

He winked, nodding at her before her stepped outside and closed the door.

Alone in the kitchen, she squealed delightedly. Julian emerged from what was now their bedroom, smiling when he saw how happy she was.

He walked over to her and pulled her into his arms. "What's got you giggling?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "I'm in love and my best friend is only days away from admitting that she is, too." She grinned brightly. "Life is pretty wonderful right now."

xxx

"Thanks," Peyton said softly, a laugh at the back of her throat, when Lucas parked and hopped out of the car, circling around quickly so that he could open her door for her. She cupped his cheek in her hand lightly as she stepped out. "Are you going to be this formal all night?"

He squinted in that familiar way of his. "Is this formal? Is it weird?"

She shrugged. "I'm not exactly sure what's normal for us anymore. And I can't exactly complain about you being so polite, can I?"

He shrugged as well, looking bashful and young for a moment, reminding her of the boy he was when they first met. Her eyes searched his and his hand landed lightly on her hip, and she thought that if she just kissed him right at that moment, any and all of the awkwardness would evaporate, but the moment was interrupted by the enthusiastic squeal of "Hi!" in a familiar voice.

Nathan and Haley were walking toward them, Haley beaming brightly, and a sleepy Jamie settled comfortably in his father's arms.

"What's up, you two?" Haley chirped as if she didn't already know.

Peyton smiled. "My gentleman caller over here was just taking me out for the evening. I'm guessing we're going for dinner and a movie. Hey, baby boy," she added in a softer, sweeter tone, reaching out to take Jamie.

"Playing it safe," Nathan said, shaking his head as if he was ashamed of his brother, easing his son into Peyton's waiting arms.

"Hi," she murmured adoringly while Lucas rebuked Nathan's comment. "Hi, you beautiful boy. You remember me, right? Aunt Peyton?" she reminded him, and he nodded tiredly, smiling softly.

"Somebody's in love with you," Haley commented quietly, winking when she caught Peyton's eye. "And I don't just mean Luke."

Lucas shot Haley a look and she only shrugged. "What? It's true. Jamie totally loves her," she said innocently, raising her eyebrows, daring him to challenge her again.

He chuckled and rolled his eyes slightly, but they all knew he wasn't truly upset because they also knew that Haley was right. He rested his hand at the small of Peyton's back, and she could feel the gentle admiration, the beginnings of hope, in his gaze as he watched Jamie snuggle closer to Peyton, sighing contentedly as he rested his head against her neck.

For the very first time, she felt real, harsh pangs of loss. The way it felt to hold Jamie's small, warm body close enough to feel his heartbeat coupled with the way Lucas was looking at her, gave her a breathless sense of panic, the need to prevent this feeling from ending. It was bigger and more powerful than the regret she'd felt when she realized she couldn't get cats. It was heart-wrenching and akin to grief.

She sucked in some air and forced herself to smile again, unable to meet Lucas' eyes. "We should probably get going, right? Here, honey, go back to your daddy," she told Jamie softly, pressing her lips against the top of his head before she reluctantly handed him back to Nathan.

"Have fun tonight!" Haley said brightly, and Nathan winked.

"Bye," she said softly, watching the family she'd never have for herself walk away.

"Are you okay?" Lucas asked, tilting his head so that he could look her in the eye.

"Yeah," she said, reminding herself to focus on being in the moment with him. She slipped her hand into his, loving the easy way their fingers intertwined. "Where're you taking me to eat, good sir?"

Grinning, he shook his head. "What kind of date would I be if I told you?"

She frowned playfully. "The kind that knows that his date hates surprises."

He gave her a private grin, one full of adoration and promises. "I'm not sure about my date, but I'd definitely remember if my girlfriend hated surprises."

Peyton glanced down, peeking up at him through her eyelashes. "I thought we were taking it slow," she reminded him softly.

Lucas laughed. "Peyt, of all the things I want with you, your being my girlfriend is only the first step on the ladder."

"Luke," she sighed, stopping short, clinging tightly to his hand. She had to say something, but she wasn't sure exactly what it was.

Sighing as well, he stopped at her side and gently tucked her hair out of her face. He spoke quietly, his lips grazing her ear: "It's going to be good this time. I'm not going to hurt you; I'm not going to leave me. I just want you to let me in. I want the rest of my life with you – what Nathan and Haley have, together, and with Jamie…that's what I want for us. I promise."

A strangled sob tore out of her throat; she couldn't hold it back. "But what if I'm the problem?" she asked him tearfully. "What if I can't be that, what if I can't give you any of that? What if I hurt you? What if I…leave you?"

To her surprise, he laughed lightly, pulling her into his arms protectively and dropping kisses into her hair. "You could never be the problem."

"Luke, I'm serious," she murmured pitifully into his shoulder.

"I am, too," he insisted. "You are always good and strong for us, even when I don't give you a reason to be. And I'm not asking for you to promise me anything, not now and not ever, not if you want to. I want my future with you, but what really matters is right now, me and you." He released her slowly, clasping her hand in his once more as she wiped her eyes with her free hand. "I want to make you happy, you moody girl," he told her, affectionately teasing, "So let's go and eat, okay?"

She smiled back at him because she couldn't help it, not with the way he was looking at her, and she found herself nodding. "Okay. Let's go eat."

xxx

Peyton burst out laughing halfway through dessert, covering her mouth with her hand, and Lucas gave her a remarkably sexy smirk over the candlelit table.

"What?" he asked.

"Brooke's right," she giggled. "We are like fourteen-year-olds." She smiled at him skeptically. "You're playing footsie with me, really?"

He arched his eyebrows. "Is there something else you'd like me to do, Miss Sawyer?" he asked her, his toe grazing her ankle once again, and she couldn't deny that it sent a small shiver up her spine.

She frowned at him playfully. "Keep your appendages to yourself, mister," she ordered as she took another bite of her chocolate cheesecake.

Lucas smiled, reaching across the table to take her hand, his thumb grazing her knuckles intimately. "Are you happy?" he asked her earnestly.

"Dude, you gave me chocolate. Of course I'm happy," she teased, softening her smile once the moment of levity passed. "Yeah, Luke, I'm happy. But…"

He nodded knowingly. "But…?"

"But this just…this is so sweet of you, but doesn't it seem kind of weird, going on such a typical first date, like we don't know each other at all?"

He shrugged. "I figured this was part of taking it slow. You know, the cliché date."

Peyton nodded slowly, folding her arms on the table in front of her and leaning toward him. "It might be a cliché date…but I can think of a few things your girlfriend would rather do?"

Lucas grinned instantly, his whole face lighting up, but he teased her as though he had reservations about her words. "Jeez, Peyton, I don't know…that seems kind of fast…"

She rolled her eyes, smiling back at him. "Will you shut up and go pay the bill, because I know that you won't let me spend anything tonight, and then we can get out of here?"

He wiggled his eyebrows. "Or we could…not pay."

She gasped. "Lucas. We're not kids anymore. This place is expensive."

He stared at her without caving. "My girl wouldn't say no to a dare."

Peyton blushed at his words and stared back, sizing him up to determine how serious he was. "No," she finally admitted, "I guess you're right."

"So what do you say, babe?"

She dropped one eyelid in a wink she knew would drive him crazy and stood up smoothly. "I say…I'll see you on the outside," she whispered, leaning down to kiss his cheek before she walked out, grabbing his car keys on the way so that they'd be able to make a quick exit.

xxx

"So…" Peyton drawled knowingly as Lucas pulled into a space in the parking lot of Tree Hill's movie theatre, "How much did you tip that waitress to run out and yell at us?"

He smirked sheepishly. "Twenty bucks."

"Luke!" she cried, aghast. "That's ridiculous!"

He shrugged. "It was worth it, though, wasn't it?"

"Yeah…" she admitted laughingly. "It was a pretty great adrenaline rush. It felt like…"

"Like it used to," he filled in, resting his arm across the seat, behind her back. "Like it always has. You and me."

Peyton smiled softly, nodding. "Like it always has," she agreed. She nodded toward the building they were parked in front of. "Are you going to pull some crazy stunt in there, too?"

"Oh, I'm sorry – is our date still too much of a cliché for you?"

She rolled her eyes. "No. It's been pretty perfect."

Lucas smiled back, running his fingers lightly through her hair. "Does that mean you won't hate me if I suggest a romantic comedy? Or, heaven forbid, a chick flick?"

She laughed as she unbuckled her seatbelt. "I could never hate you," she said simply with a slight shrug at the easy honesty of those words. "With you, I don't ever stop…" It was definitely too early to finish that sentence, but she only had to look into his eyes for a second to know that he understood.

Lucas looped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to him as they walked toward the theatre and kissing her cheek. "I know," he assured her. "Me, too."

xxx

It happened so suddenly that it terrified her. One second she felt perfectly fine, buying lots of buttery popcorn even though they'd just eaten a full meal, teasing Lucas good-naturedly and sipping his soda. And then all of a sudden, everything around her blurred. The faces of everyone around her turned into vibrant pink-and-purple spots, blood rushed to her head, and she found herself losing her balance. She was aware of Lucas crying out in alarm, and it would have been reasonable to assume he'd said her name, but she couldn't make out the exact word.

In the amount of time it took to happen, it ended. Everything snapped back into focus, her headache and her nausea faded away, and she found herself half-sitting, half-lying on the carpeted lobby floor of the theatre in a mess of spilled popcorn, Lucas crouched at her side, his eyes frantic.

"I'm okay," she whispered breathlessly, finding his hand and giving it a squeeze as he helped her sit up fully.

His hands skimmed quickly over her body as if he expected something to be broken. "You can't be. Did you just faint? Do you have a headache? Should I take you to the hospital?"

"Luke," she said as firmly as she could, trying to give him a reassuring smile. "I'm fine. Look at me, I'm fine. I just…I got a little dizzy for a second. Maybe I'm not fully over that, um...flu-like thing that I had before. I'm fine. Just…embarrassed, that's all."

He looked at her, serious and obviously worried. "Tell me if something hurts, if anything feels wrong."

"I'm okay," she insisted, her eyes searching his, trying to convince him.

"Do you promise me you feel fine now?"

"Yeah. I do. Just…take me home and let me sleep. I'm sure I'll be totally fine by tomorrow. Okay? Can I get off the floor now?" she asked, trying to joke around.

"Okay," he murmured, clearly still concerned as he helped her stand. An employee told them not to worry about the mess; Lucas thanked her and guided Peyton toward the exit. "Should I carry you?"

"Luke. No."

"You swear you feel fine?"

"I really do," she told him, attempting a smile once more as they walked through the parking lot and toward his car. He helped her into her seat and sighed, kissing her forehead before he walked around to the other side of the car.

For the entire drive home, she repeatedly promised him that she was alright and gave all the right, reassuring answers to his never-ending stream of questions, wondering the whole way whether or not she was setting him up for heartbreak. No matter the extent of her life, she didn't think she'd be able to live with herself for doing so.

xxx

"You don't feel unsteady at all?"

"Luke, I swear to God," she sighed irritably, giving him a look that combined affection and annoyance as they stopped in front of the door to the house she shared with Julian and Brooke.

"Okay," he sighed. "I'm sorry. I just…I worry about you. I can't help it."

"I know. And it's one of the sweetest things about you, and one of the many reasons I…care about you. But I'm fine. I'm sorry we missed the movie."

"Don't worry about it," he said dismissively. "Do you want me to come in and stay with you for a while? Not to make sure you're okay," he backtracked quickly at the expression on her face, "Because you are okay. I just wanted to…spend some time with you."

"Nice save," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes even as she smiled at him. "I would say yes, but considering this traditional, cliché date you just took me on…I'm not sure that would be appropriate."

He laughed. "So we can eat and run, commit a crime, but I can't walk into your house?"

"We didn't commit a crime," she reminded him. "And you, in my home, on the first date?" Her eyes sparkled as she looked at him. "Why, Lucas Scott, what would people say?"

Lucas grinned. "I guess this is where I leave you, then."

"Brooke's home in case I need anything," she promised him, knowing that he'd worry about her.

He nodded. "Would it be socially acceptable for me to call you tomorrow?" he teased.

"It'd be completely unacceptable for you not to call your girlfriend tomorrow," she told him sternly, lacing her fingers through his, both of their hands clasped together as they stood facing one another.

"Good," he said quietly, resting his forehead against hers momentarily. "Should I come up with a disgustingly stereotypical date for tomorrow, too?"

She shook her head, smiling genuinely for the first time since she almost passed out. "Nah. Leave that one to me."

"You've got a plan?" he asked, clearly intrigued.

Peyton nodded proudly. "I liked this, tonight. Being with you…it's like continuity. It's like I never should have been anywhere but with you." When he nodded understandingly, she added, "And I know a pretty sinful chocolate chip cookie recipe I thought we could try out."

"I like your thinking," he said huskily, releasing her hands and lifting his own to cup her face in her hands.

He kissed her softly, the way a date like theirs should have ended, but passionately, the way they'd missed out on for a little over two years. She was weak in the knees by the time they pulled apart, laughing breathlessly.

"It's going to be good this time," he promised her once again, just as he had earlier in the evening, pressing his lips to hers again quickly.

"It'll be perfect," she agreed softly, in that love-struck voice only he could get her to use, speaking before her mind could catch up with her heart.

Lucas grinned, winking at her as he walked down the pathway that lead away from her door.

She stepped inside and closed the door behind her, leaning back against it and taking a deep breath as she closed her eyes. When she opened them again she saw that Brooke was already in her pyjamas and waiting for her in the kitchen with two hot fudge sundaes sitting in front of her and a huge smile on her face.

"Hey, you blissed-out girl!" Brooke said enthusiastically, beaming at her. "Back right in time for curfew and everything," she teased. "Get over here and give me the dirt." Her grin faded away as she looked more closely at Peyton's face. "Hey, sweetie, are you…those are happy tears, right?"

Peyton shrugged, smiling despite her watery eyes, and crossed the room, extending her arms toward her best friend. Brooke hopped up off the stool she'd been sitting on the wrap her up in a hug.

"Aw, P. Sawyer," she said softly, her voice full of sympathy. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Peyton could only hug her back and sigh into her friend's shoulder, because she didn't have words for everything she was feeling. She'd realized that night that everyone she loved was moving on or wanted to move on with their lives, and they all felt with such certainty that she would be doing the same. She missed her history with Lucas so badly and she longed to be with him far into the future, but sooner or later she'd have to face the impossibility of that dream – and more painfully, so would he.

She didn't say a word to Brooke because she wasn't equipped with the vocabulary to accompany and to describe the heartbreak that comes with the ability to ruin someone you love with nothing more than that one complex emotion, so innocent and so vicious all at once.