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-00:33:41
For the last time in her life, Soka Junian woke from her sleep.
She tried her best to recall the haze of the events of the past two hours. The freighter Gola broke atmosphere and together James and her had fought off the first wave and stayed as mobile as they could to keep the Reaper taskforce from being able to divert any of their forces to the civilians that had fled on foot. They had managed to get outside and continued to fight the attackers. The last thing she remembered was the concussion blast knocking her off her feet and some more gunfire before she was conscious. For how long she did not know.
Activating her omni-tool, Soka read the flashing device. Only thirty-three minutes until the Reaper came in range of ground zero. She must have slept for no more than a half hour by the looks of it. Exhaling, she took in her surroundings. All was quiet… all was dead. It appeared as though the Reapers had left. Whether they had left to chase down the fleeing civilians, or to put a stop to the many guns still firing on the Dreadnought in every direction, she did not know for certain. Whatever the case had been, they had left the port thinking the resistance was killed.
Ignoring the pain shooting through her and the various alerts her suit armour were giving her about the numerous breaches from shrapnel and projectile wounds she had penetrating her suit and body, Soka rolled the Cannibal corpse laying on top of her and attempted to extract herself out of the pile of bodies she was buried in. She coughed, spitting up blood, which she ignored just as she ignored the urge to cry out, or allow the dizziness she felt to overtake her senses.
She would not falter in her last minutes alive… Not now.
Dragging herself back to her feet, she staggered slightly as a shaking hand reached up and pulled off her helmet. She would not need it any longer. She took a deep breath of the smoke filled air and coughed again. Quietly she looked around at the devastation left behind for her to witness. Any form of potential transportation out of the blast zone was destroyed. Not that it would have mattered. Even if she had access to a undamaged hover car, she would still bleed out long before she got medical help.
As her senses started to come back to her; Soka's brain clicked back into gear, if only for a moment as a single, desperate thought formed in her clouded mind: Where was Merrick? Where was James? Where was her friend?
She had not heard anything but the wind blowing on her and the Reaper rumbling only a few kilometres away now. The Reaper mattered not to her; the mission was more or less completed. With her duties squared away now James was everything to her now. He was the only thing left that had mattered to her.
"J-James?!" she managed to spit out, her tone weak and desperate to get an answer she knew in her heart would likely never get.
It couldn't end like this. With her being left here alone to bear witness to the destruction of New Esperance. He had to be alive… he was too stubborn to just up and die before she did! She would find him and like clockwork, he would try to say something clever and she would call him an idiot because he really was an idiot, but she liked him for it. It was a charming sort of idiocy and right now that was all she needed. She would die a much happier woman to have that.
Focusing all her attention on walking, Soka managed to get three paces before her legs gave out on her and she collapsed with a small, childish whimper. It was all so humiliating to be like this. It was so helpless, so weak. Gasping and coughing out another mouthful of blood, Soka tightened her talons into fists and used them to leverage herself up somewhat.
"James? James are you still alive?" Soka moaned out as she rolled onto her back and forced herself not to cry out in a mixture of pain, self-pity and grief.
"Yeah…I think so…" a voice called out suddenly. "I don't know if it'll be that way for long though."
Soka felt her heart lurch, whether it was out of the physical injuries or an emotional metaphor she did not have a clear answer for. Whatever it was, it was enough to motivate her into rolling herself on her side and forcing herself up to a sitting position. With what strength she possessed, Soka dragged herself as fast as she could in the direction of the voice. At first she thought it might be blood loss induced hallucination, but then she started to hear the sound of audible breathing.
It wasn't long before she had found James, laying there pinned under the body of a Marauder. His head rolled to one side to look her over. He didn't look any better than she did. James' armour was shattered and burnt to a crisp, a good portion of his hair burnt to a cinder; he was lying in a pool of his own blood.
Silently the pair of them just remained there, taking a sort of refuge in each other. After a brief pause, Soka and James forced the Reaper corpse off him and James pulled himself up, wrapping his arms around Soka's neck as a form of support. Even as he sat up, however, he did not let go, much to Soka's carefully controlled delight. James nestled his head down, resting it against her carapace and together the two of them remained in place.
"You know…" he mumbled into her. "You promised me we would go out in a hail of gunfire, making a last stand against these things. You didn't say anything about making it out alive."
It hurt to laugh, but Soka allowed it. It was a good sort of pain. She lowered her head down as she chuckled, her crest touching against his forehead.
"W-well I apologize for your disappointment in me," she murmured back to him as coyly as she could produce in spite of everything. "I promise you next time will be a more fulfilling experience."
Satisfied that she made James smile, Soka took a small victory in that. Much to her disappointment however, James pulled his head up from her so that he could look her in the eyes. Silently she relished in the way he looked at her. It was a strange sort of look. His guard was completely down.
"This says a lot about us, you know? We are so goddamn tough that option two didn't work on us!" he observed, a limp hand wiping blood off his lip. As he looked her over, he frowned slightly and added. "Soka…You're really hurt, let me go find you some medi-gel."
Soka shook her head. There was no use to waste the precious little time they had left.
"It doesn't matter anymore… we survived option two… we can't survive option three," she reminded him, dismissing his concerns for her. She gently reached up, her talon scraping softly against his stubble cheek smudged in blood and grime.
Coughing, James pulled back from her and pulled himself up. He was just as shaky as she was. As soon as James found his bearings, he bent over and looped his arms in through hers. With a heaving groan, he dragged the woman back up to her feet. It took more effort than man had expected and they nearly collapsed as Soka barely working legs nearly lost balance. It took him wrapping his arms and pulling her tight against his frame before she could keep herself steady.
"What are you doing, James?" she mumbled into his chest.
Above her, she felt James' chin twist on the top of her fringe. One hand weakly gestured off to the distance. She looked at where it was James was pointing to. Sure enough there was as a ridge the ways off, overlooking the city of New Esperance.
"If we're not going to make it, then we're going up there," he said over her head. "I want to die somewhere not littered with Reaper bodies… agreed?"
Soka didn't really have the strength to argue. Soka remained silent and nodded into his chest. With an agreement on their final resting spot made, Soka and James slowly hobbled over the corpses of the fallen and made their way out of the scorched earth they created and into the green wildlife of Eden Prime.
The two of them remained silent, with only their combined laboured breathing to fill the eerie silence in between the audio blasts of the encroaching Reaper. In spite of everything - the pain she was in, the rattling of the Reaper as it pushed ever closer to them, and of course the lurching fear of the unknown that would take her - she felt… okay with this. In James' arms, she knew that she would not be facing any of this alone. It was all she really wanted right now.
Perhaps this was all for the best. It seemed only fitting that since she condemned so many to pay the ultimate price to kill this Reaper, she herself would be here paying the same price as the innocent would. At least no one could say that she dodged her responsibility. But while she might have felt this way, she then felt no small measure of guilt that she was including James into it. He never advocated for it, he offered her opportunities to back out, but he never judged her for it, and he stood with her… even now in this twilight.
In the short twenty-two or so hours that she knew James Merrick, she could not have ever asked for a better friend.
As the pair reached the ridge, and came to a stop, they let go of one another. Soka paused to admire the sun slightly breaking through the smoke and cloud cover. It was a small pleasure she was happy to experience. She looked James's way and noticed he was swaying in place, struggling with barely working fingers to unfasten his armour. With one hand on his shoulder, she hobbled behind his and worked her own talons over the armour locks. The armour dropped, leaving James exposed (by turian standards) in an undershirt soaked with blackened blood. It took all of her effort not to weep out loud, and so instead she buried her eyes into his shoulder, barely noticing as James' shaking hand reached back to touch the back of her neck.
"This was some day, wasn't it?" James murmured, looking down at the city. His voice was light as he tried to mask the agonizing pain he clearly was in.
Soka looped her arms around his waist and pulled him tight against her.
"It… it really was…" she agreed with him, fighting back the anguish in her own voice. "Could have gone with a happier ending… but I'll take what I can get…"
James nodded and reached down, his hands taking her talons off his waist so that he could sit down. He did so, leaving the turian swaying slightly. Watching the Reaper for a moment longer, Soka redirected her attention to pulling off her own chest plate. She dropped it behind her and looked her own blood staining her under armour. Soka sat down, collapsing against James, who grunted but did not complain.
As Soka reached back and pulled her chest piece up. She reached into the slot in the shoulder and produced the detonator for the two of them to look at with almost a reverence. They stared at their very deaths.
"Sure that's still works?" James inquired. "Why don't you hit the button to see if it's operating?"
Soka reacted by pushing the human's shoulder. She leaned forward and dropped the detonator down in front of them. The time was coming, but it wasn't here just yet. She would rather not leave to early. A sentiment she hoped James agreed with.
Sitting there in the dew soaked grass, the pair of them remained locked in their silence. The silence grew heavier. It gave Soka time to think about what was to happen when that was the last thing she wanted to do. The uncertainty of it all was too much a burden for her to bear.
"James?" she spoke, her call of his name felt so childish to her.
James rounded back; his eyes were filled with a concern for her that had lifted her spirits up somewhat. It felt so incredibly nice to have had this small comfort dedicated just to her. She wondered somewhere deep inside her if the man understood just how much he had come to mean to her in the short time they had gotten to know each other. It was as though she had known him for her entire life, but had only today met him.
"J-J-James... James, do you think it will hurt? Because I really don't want it to hurt," she spoke in a small uncertain voice. "It's… it's not a very turian thing to say… but I think I can drop the act now..."
Soka watched as James's hand turned over in his lap. Blinking rapidly, she exhaled and took the hand she was being offered. She closed her eyes as she felt him squeeze her. She felt his other hand reach upwards and stroke her mandible. She opened her eyes and found James was leaning against her shoulder, his fingers running up and now her facial plating in a comforting manner.
"It won't hurt... It will be a wave of heat and it'll all be over before we know it," he promised her with relaxing sort of serenity in the way he spoke to her. "You don't have to be scared, Soka… I'll be here, sitting right with you."
Soka nodded, her heart thumping away in her chest with the human sitting in such close proximity, stroking her idly. She did not know what to think about it, and she certainly did not know just what to say next. Thankfully for James, she didn't have to say a word.
Not as his lips met her mouth.
It was a strange sort of sensation that she never engaged in before. Foreign, but it was not entirely unpleasant to her. It was a sort of intimacy she never felt before. Her eyes remained opened as she watched James to take in an example, and immediately noticed he had closed his eyes. Was it because she was a turian? Was it just part of the kissing activity?
Whatever it as, she decided she would just let him lead and closed her eyes as she ignored the Reaper siren ringing out in the distance and another exploding anti-ship gun being reduced to rubble. It all didn't matter to her anymore. Not as she felt herself slowly being lowered into the grass James deepened the kiss. She flinched, surprised by it and nipped his tongue, making him wince and pull back.
In the silence, they lay there together, chests heaving against each other as James remained propped lightly on top of her. As he looked down on her, a small curious smile crossed his face. His hand was still allowing his fingers to trail over her.
"Was that your first kiss, or something?" he asked, his voice rippling with strained amusement, like he didn't want to laugh at her.
Soka squinted at him, one talon reaching up to wrap around the back of his neck.
"In case you did not realize it, I don't exactly have lips to do a lot of that…" she sarcastically reminded the man. She paused, and in a softer tone, added. "I am… sorry for nipping you. If you… if you want to try again, I assure you I will be better at it. If you don't, I would underst-"
Soka was cut off with another kiss. While she was initially caught off guard yet again, but this time she at least somewhat ready for it. Her hand reached up and gripped the back of his head, pushing into the soft hair that hadn't been burnt away. She felt the kiss deepen in her mouth, and did her utmost to meet it with some of the intensity which James had offered her.
He broke it and smirked down at her.
"Shut up, Soka," he breathed to her point blank. It was enough to make her laugh and lean her head up to touch it against the nape of his neck.
James laid down properly next to Soka, his body pressed against hers, his arm wrapped around her, clinging onto her as though she had belonged to him. It was a nice sentiment in her opinion. Ignoring the throbbing agony, she nestled into him and relaxed to the best of her ability. She watched as his hand moved mover her body, as if he was exploring.
"So…" James spoke, sounding a little drowsy. "Since we got that out of the way… what do you think? Think you'd be up to death sex? You know… one last ride for the road?"
Soka's eyes widened as she looked at James in shock of his blatant proposition. While it had caught her off guard as the kiss had, she was by no means offended. If anything she was flattered, and more importantly, the offer he extended went a far way to certainly prove to her that their kiss was not just a desperate moment for the man facing his imminent demise. Soka smiled slightly. Under any other circumstances she would have accepted his proposal right on the spot if not horrific condition they were in.
"You want to have sex here?" she repeated, amused and struggling to remain somewhat flirtatious about it. "You… you want to fuck me in front of an encroaching Reaper Dreadnought? Can you even sustain the physical exertions of sex?…Do you even have enough blood left in your body to achieve an erection?"
Soka's questions had evidently touched a real nerve in the human. Her mandibles flared open as she grinned while watching James spread an expression of outrage at her suggestion.
"Come on now, Soka. I thought you had a little faith in me by now!" James rattled out, his offended voice raspy as he looked her over. "You know goddamn well I'll make it work… might not have a lot of blood left to be coherent about it, but dammit we should try-"
Soka pushed her head up and placed her mouth over her lips. James was only fooling himself. It was the thought that counted to her. If there was one person she wanted to screw her senseless, it would have to be him.
"Well, for what it is worth, I would have complete faith in you," she reassured him as she pulled back, her talon tracing his neck as she pulled him back down onto her.
The two of them relaxed back into a comfortable silence, watching the Reaper as it took yet another step closer in the direction of the kill zone. It's lurching pace a sort of countdown now. It was nearly that time now. As scared as she was, having James with her had indeed been a tremendous comfort.
"Do you think they will remember us?" James suddenly spoke up, the way he spoke sounded unnaturally uncertain. "The people we saved… will what we did even matter a week down the line? They could all be already dead for all we know… was any of this worth it?"
Soka remained silent. She too had been debating it since she activated the bomb. It was a debate she was still having, but a new way of looking at it had crossed her mind recently. If every child loaded into the Gola survived to adulthood, and if the war against the Reapers ended then would one day, perhaps, would find a mate, and then they too would have children of their own. That was the potential for countless hundreds more people down the timeline that would enter this galaxy because of their actions here today. Entire generations breathing life back into this galaxy because of them.
It was little comfort in many ways for her logical side to handle comfort. There were just too many variables, too much relying on chance. But what mattered was Soka and James had done their part. They made it at least possible. Perhaps… perhaps that would just be enough.
"We gave them a chance when they had no hope left," Soka spoke finally, her head lowering to rest into James. "Yes… I believe it was worth it… and look… we were rewarded for it. We survived the Reaper ground attack. We're alive right now… sharing this final moment in peace in each other's arms… I know we are going to die… but I haven't felt this happy in so many months… At peace with it all…"
James nodded slightly; he seemed to understand what she was proposing; that this had been a gift from the galaxy, from God… the Spirits… whatever it was exactly; they had earned this small respite before they gone.
"Yeah…" he returned finally. "Yeah, I guess you're right."
The two of them returned to their silence, resting there in each other's arms. Ignoring the Reaper the best they could, ignoring the warmness of the blood that was commingling into a cooling pool underneath them. They ignored it because none that mattered any more. All that matter was Soka to James and James to Soka.
They took comfort in their gift. At least they tried to as ground shook and the detonator emitted a small droning beep.
It was... well, it was time.
"Reaper just crossed into the kill zone," James mumbled reluctantly. "I think it's time to take our bow, Soka."
Soka did not answer him. She nodded and quietly watched James pull him up back to a sitting position. He reached out and pulled her back up next to him. Soka reached out and wrapped her arms around his waist and watched as James leaned inwards to scoop the detonator up into his hands.
James exhaled and slowly he turned back to her, a gentle smile crossed over his mouth.
"So… I know it's not much of a date, but I was thinking that since turians love to make things explode, we could press the button together," he suggested, waving the detonator like a toy. "You know… I think it might be kind of romantic."
Soka coughed a mouthful of blood up and wiped her stained mandible. She looked at James pointedly. It really wasn't as bad an idea as she thought at first.
"Just so that we are clear, turians don't like to make things explode on romantic dates…" she said as she propped herself close and took half the detonator into her talon. "It just so happens that this time around, yes… yes I would very much like to turn this fucking monstrosity into scrap metal with you."
As James chuckled, she took a comfort in him leaning forward and kissing her once again. It was a sweet sort, something she had certainly come to appreciate in their final moments.
"A kiss for the road…" he spoke into her. James pulled back and added. "It has been an honour, Soka Junian."
Soka reached out and took his hand.
"The honour has been mine, James Merrick," she corrected him. "Farewell, my friend."
Looking at the detonator in their hands, Soka and James only lingered a few more moments to soak each other up. Taking in the final details of one another before the great last effort was to be made; they found a small measure of peace. Swallowing their fear, their uncertainty and the terrible unknown they were facing, the two of them pressed the button.
True to James' hypothesis, everything went blinding white, and they felt the heat hit them; but it was all okay to them.
Everything was okay because neither of them was afraid.
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