I'm so sorry! (Mourns) There's only a short diss battle in this chapter! I hope you enjoy anyway! It's kind of funny...

Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to I Have An Alter Ego, Raine, Aakansha who is Ai, and Midori-chan who is Miyako.

Thank you everyone!

Disclaimer: Over the hills and through the woods...

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"Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,

Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,

Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,

One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne

In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,

One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie."

"Wow Sassy-chan, that was deep. But not as deep as the REAL version.

Three pills for the Hokages under the sky,

Seven for the ANBU in their halls of stone,

Nine for the missing-nin doomed to die,

One for the Snake-Pervert on his dark throne,

In Northern Sassyland where the Sugar Mushrooms lie.

One Aspirin box to rule them all, one Aspirin box to find them.

One Aspirin box to bring them all, and in the Darkness bind them.

In Sassyland where the sugar mushrooms lie."

The homies applauded their friend's emotional poetry. Some of them had to wipe tears out of their eyes. Even Sassy-chan had to admit it was better than his version.

The fellowship had been taking a break for nightfall near a random campfire they had found merrily burning. To pass time they were reciting poetry.

A few hours later, it was starting to get old. You could only listen to the homies's ballad of "Twinkle twinkle little ninja" so many times before you start to puke out of boredom. Next, they decided to insult each others moms.

However, none of the jellybeans were prepared for Sassy-chan's extreme new insults. One by one, everyone passed out from exhaustion.

Except Sassy-chan and Mr. Lovey-dovey-coochie-coo-goo-goo-ga-ga-sweetipie-kins.

"You're good Sassy!"

Sassy-chan ignored this distraction and began his special attack. Overwelm no jutsu!

"Your mom is so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the sh!t out of the toilet! Your mom is so ugly she shaves her pits with a lawn mower! Yo mom's so fat She can't even fit in the chat room! Your mom's so fat she has to use hula hoops to hold up her socks! Yo mom's so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles!"

The bunny lay down, defeated.

The two sat in the silence of the night, content in each other's company.

Mr. Lovey-dovey-coochie-coo-goo-goo-ga-ga-sweetipie-kins turned his head lazily.

"Yo Sassy-chan."

"Yeah?"

"You know that poem I recited a few hours ago?"

"Uh huh. What about it?"

"It's a prophecy."

"I figured that much."

"Yo Sassy-chan."

"Yeah?"

"Wanna ditch these fools?"

"Like, yeah totally!"

"...What are you sniffing?"

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Meanwhile, in the real world...

Ai and Raine were hysteric. Their main attraction had fainted and showtime was in five minutes. The group were currently at the back of a stage they had set up in the middle of Konoha. A.K.A, at the tipitty-top of the Hokage's tower. And it just so happens that it was "Pretend you're Yuki and Kyo from Fruits Basket Hour," so...

Slap. Slap. Slap.

"WAKE UP YOU DANG RAT!"

"Stop it, you filthy cat. I'm the rat, not him."

"...WHAT DO YOU KNOW?"

"Obviously more than you."

Suddenly, a voice from out of the stage rang out.

"Can you maniacs take out this stage! We're trying to have the annual entire village meeting!"

Raine's eyes widened.

"Wake him up NOW, you darn rat!"

"Why do you keep avoiding using profanity?"

"Because this story is rated K! Now hurry!"

Ai started slapping the poor boy harder.

"WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!"

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Sassy-chan suddenly felt slightly naseous.

"Oh my stomach." He moaned.

His partner turned towards the ninja with a look of concern.

"Are you okay?"

"No." Sassy-chan grimanced. "I think I have to get back to reality."

"Aw...can't you stay a wee bit longer? We defeated the Hokages, missing-nins, and ANBUs, took their pills, discovered the Aspirin box in a chocolate factory, and are almost at the Snaky-Pervert's throne!" Mr. Lovey-dovey-coochie-coo-goo-goo-ga-ga-sweetipie-kins eyes pleaded.

"Sorry dude. I really got to go. I have a feeling my body is getting shaken and slapped roughly."

"Dang...ok, bye."

And thus, the authoress giant whirlpool swallowed the boy whole.

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Slap. Slap. Slap. Sla-

Ai was stopped by a kunai that had found it's way through hand.

"ARGH!" The fangirl promptly fainted. It must have been the blood...

Gaping, Raine turned towards the culprit.

"You just stabbed the cat!"

"So?"

"Thanks!"

"...o0o..."

"But now we need a replacement!" The girl pondered this for a while before saying, "I know! I'll call my equally insane (and secretly evil) cousin, Miyako!" She quickly took out a cellphone from Akito knows where and dialled. After some talking in their native tongue, (Rabidfangirlian), a poof of smoke materialized infront of the scary lady.

Out of the smoke, a girl who looked similar to Hinata appeared.

"Yo!"

The two girls glomped before turning toward the bishie, eyes glowing.

Poor Sasuke.

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Tsunade sighed. Those crazy sisters were at it again. First they had opened that worthless shop, now they set up a stage in her tower? She would have to talk to them later.

Suddenly, the room darkened. Everyone instantly ceased chatting. The crimson red stage curtains opened, revealing...

a certain dark-haired ninja in...a pink bunny suit.

The audience's reaction's were;

"...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Sasuke twitched.

"This is so embarassing..."

The two cousins walked elegantly towards the stage, wearing cat costumes. Not the anime kind. the kind a 6-year old wears for Halloween.

Raine grinned to the audience. "Hello Konoha!"

Miyako leered at the laughing crowd. "Let's get to the point. Is anyone here interested in buying this bishie?"

The crowd silenced.

Raine continued. "Because today, we are selling him for 2342 dollars and 66 cents!"

"So if you're interesting on buying, you have to enter our contest! Entrance fee is 200 dollars and 12 cents!"

The crowd started to murmur.

The evil cousin held up a hand. "Applicants please form a line in front of me!"

A woman's voice spoke up. "What kind of contest is this?"

The duo smirked. "You'll find out if you enter!"

The grumbling group slowly formed a line. After, everyone had payed, they all took their seats again, waiting for instructions. Miyako handed a bag of Konoha's population's cash to the silent but deadly bunny. "Put this in the back, allright Sassy?" The bunny followed the scary girl's orders.

Raine cleared her throat to address the crowd.

"Now that you have all paid, it's time to explain the rules." She looked at a watch on a villager's arm. "Right now it is 6:00 pm. You have one hour to catch Sasuke. Starting...NOW!"

The girls and the stage disappeared, leaving behind a confused group and bunny.

A few moments later, Raine's speech started to sink into everyone.

The crowd simutaniously turned towards the poor boy. In unision, everyone yelled...

"GET HIM!"

And with a girlish scream, Sasuke ran as fast as he could, away from the world.


Oh Sassy, why didn't you stay home today?