I'm going through good and bad times
Working hard to live my dreams and I
Don't know if it is the right way
I changed my life in so many ways but
Today is Friday the day before Lena and I are going on our date night away from the kids for the night. My mom is in town and already at home. We are just finishing up our shift when we are called to a robbery in progress, so I flick on the lights and head that way. We catch the guy read handed and he takes off running. I start running after him as we turn down this alley the next thing I know I am being knocked to the ground and being kicked repeatedly in the ribs. Finally I hear the sirens for our car and see my partner standing over me.
Stef: Go after him
Derek: I have an officer down and need back up...I repeat an officer down. Stef are you okay?
Stef: I'm fine go after him
Derek: He is gone right now I need to make sure your okay
As I go to sit up I realize how I really am not fine. My head is pounding and I can barely breathe. I lie back down fighting through the pain waiting for the ambulance to come. It pisses me off that this happened today of all days. As I am loaded into the ambulance I look back and see Mike standing there.
Mike: Derek what the hell happened?
Derek: The guy ran out and Stef ran after him and when I got there she was on the ground and he was kicking her.
Mike: Stef it's going to be okay.
Stef: Mike call Lena
Mike: Don't worry I will call her
Sometimes I wonder
If I had made it without
That was the last thing I heard when the ambulance doors were shut and off we were going to the hospital. I could feel the pain coursing through my body and still fighting the urge to cry. How could this of happened? Before today I never worried about my job I have been fortunate to never get hurt or to worry that I wouldn't see my family again. Today was different the only thing I could think of while I was down on the ground getting kicked over and over again is that if someone didn't get there soon he may kill me and I would never see Lena or my babies again. Finally a tear rolled down my cheek I couldn't keep it in any longer, I really just needed to see Lena and needed to hear her voice.
Stef: I need Lena
Paramedic: Officer Foster we are almost at the hospital and I'm sure that Lena will be there soon.
The way you love me and support me
Makes me know we'll never part
The way you touch me deep in my soul
That's the reason you're in my heart
I am starting dinner talking with Sharon as we were waiting for Stef to come home, surprised that she is later then normal. But maybe she stopped on her way home as tomorrow we are going away for the night for some quality one on one time. It isn't until my phone rings and I look and see Mike's name come up do I realize something is very wrong. My heart starts to beat so fast that I can barely breathe and my hands start trembling as I try to answer the phone but can't seem to get it to work. Sharon sensing something is wrong takes the phone and turns it on for me.
Lena: Mike what's wrong? Where's Stef?
Mike: Lena there's been an incident and Stef is okay but she is on the way to the hospital
The way you need me like I need you
I'm sure we'll never part
The way you feel me and make me smile
That's the reason you're in my heart
I drop the phone when I hear hospital and I start to frantically run through the house finding my purse, keys and my shoes. I didn't even notice the tears that were running down my face, or the kids asking me what was wrong. Stef is hurt something is wrong with her, what if she isn't okay. I couldn't bare the thought of losing her. Finally I am stopped when I feel Sharon pull me into a hug.
Sharon: Lena what's wrong
Lena: Stef accident hospital oh my god
Sharon: Lena stop calm down take a deep breath
Lena: I have to go to the hospital. Stef is being taken to the hospital.
I grab my things and open the door to see Mike standing there.
Mike: I thought I would pick you up. I don't think you should drive
Lena: Thanks please take me to Stef
In moments of fear and darkness
You covered me with light and hope
And you have to let me know if there is
Something I can do for you yes
The ride to the hospital felt like it was an eternity, finally the tears stopped as we pull into the hospital. I don't even shut the car door as I run into the hospital.
Lena: I am looking for Stef Foster
Nurse: Stef Foster one second let me take a look
Lena: No I don't have a second I need to know where she is. She is the officer that was brought in by ambulance
Before the nurse says anything I hear a doctor: Lena Adams?
Lena: Yes where's my partner
Doctor: Your partner is in the trauma room right now getting looked at, on the way to the hospital she had some difficulty breathing and when she got here it looks as though a few of her ribs are broken. She is going to need a head CT as it appears that she has a gash from being knocked to the ground.
Lena: Oh my god
Sometimes I wonder
If I had made it without
I feel myself collapse and Mikes arms around me catching me. I am at a loss for words and shaking so badly and finding it harder and harder to breathe.
Mike: Deep breaths Lena come on it's going to be okay
Lena: When...When...I...need...see...Stef
Doctor: You can see her once we she gets back from her head CT and we have finished checking her over.
Mike: Lena please you need to calm down
Lena: I...I...
Mike: Lena Stef needs you right now. She needs you to be strong for her. Okay
Hearing Mike say that Stef needs me helped me start to calm down. His hands are on my face and he is looking into my eyes guiding me to breathe.
Lena: Thanks Mike I'm sorry I'm just
Mike: I know me too
Captain Roberts: Lena Mike any word?
Lena: No we are still waiting
I am standing there after what seemed like hours pacing back and forth when I finally see the doctor come out.
Lena: How is she? Can I see her?
Doctor: Well it appears she has three broken ribs but no damage to her lungs just going to be really sore for several weeks, she has a concussion that will need to be monitored so I would like to keep her in overnight for observation.
Lena: What about her breathing?
Doctor: Her breathing seems fine now, we are thinking she had a panic attack on the way here which caused the extra stress for breathing.
Lena: Can I see her?
Doctor: Yes we are going to be moving her upstairs into a room for the night. But please follow me.
Lena: Wait can our kids come see her?
Doctor: Once she is moved yes they can see her for right now just you.
Lena: Mike can you call Sharon
Mike: Already calling
The way you love me and support me
Makes me know we'll never part
The way you touch me deep in my soul
That's the reason you're in my heart
I follow the doctor to where Stef is and I see her lying in the bed. I run towards her.
Stef: Lena love I'm so sorry
Lena: Sorry what for?
Stef: I should have been more careful I should have
Lena: I don't care Stef all I care about is you being here and alive
I grab Stef's hand and lean over and kiss her softly on the lips. God it feels good to kiss her and hold her hand knowing she is alive.
Stef: How are my babies?
Lena: Worried but your mom is going to bring them by once you get moved into your room for the night
Stef: Good
I feel the tears well up again as I am holding onto Lena's hand. I can't believe that this has happened, I can see the worry in her eyes mixed with relief and in that moment I needed to tell her just how much I loved her as today could have been a lot worse and I don't ever want her to never know how much she means to me.
Stef: Lena I love you
Lena: I love you to
Stef: No Lena I really love you. Your my everything my lover, best friend, partner in crime and for life, my better half and the light in my life. The day I met you I knew instantly you were the person I am supposed to be with. The person that I want and need to spend the rest of my life with. You complete me in every way possible, before I met you something was always missing and now I feel whole. I just love you so much and all I could think of today was that you may never know how much I love and need you. You Lena mean the world to me and I have never loved someone so much that my heart aches when I'm not with you, your the reason that I'm here, well not here in this bed but my reason for existing. I love you so much. And I know that I can be a pain sometimes and I know that I am stubborn and I appreciate that your always there when I need you and I know I don't say enough how much I love you. Just please promise me you'll never leave me cause I couldn't bear to live in a without you in it. I love you Lena Elizabeth Adams.
I am crying now at Stef's declaration. I always knew this is how she felt, how I felt but I have never heard all those words come out of her mouth.
Lena: You Stephanie Marie Foster are the most amazing woman I have ever met in my life and your my whole world. I couldn't imagine a life without you either. God I love you so much and I was so scared when Mike called I thought I lost you. So Stef your the one who has to promise to never leave me because I never want to feel that feeling again. I love you babe more then anything.
I lean down and press my lips to Stef's we are interrupted by a clearing of a throat. I pull back and smile at her before turning to see the doctor standing there.
The way you need me like I need you
I'm sure we'll never part
The way you feel me and make me smile
That's the reason you're in my heart
Doctor: Okay Mrs. Foster
Stef: Miss Foster
Doctor: Sorry Miss Foster we are going to move you up to the third floor for observation tonight
Lena: I will go get check and see when your mom and the kids are coming and meet you up there.
Stef: Okay
I watch Stef be wheeled down the hall and turn and head back to the waiting room to see Mike, Captain Roberts, Sharon, Brandon and the Twins.
Brandon: How is mom?
Lena: Mom is okay she is just a little sore and will be for a few weeks
Jesus: Can we see her
Lena: Absolutely she is getting moved to her room upstairs, she has to stay the night tonight cause she hit her head pretty hard
Marianna: Are you sure she's going to be okay?
Lena: Of course honey she is going to be okay and is coming home tomorrow. Lets go see mom
Grabbing Marianna's hands and feeling Brandon's slip into my other we start walking together when I notice Jesus take ahold of Sharon's hand as we head up to the third floor. Once we reach Stef's room the kids run in needing to make sure their mom was okay.
Stef: Hi my babies
Brandon: mom I was so scared
Stef: Oh baby I promise I'm okay.
Brandon: Can I hug you mom?
Stef: Yes we just have to be careful.
I feel his arms wrap around my neck and I wrap mine around his holding him close: I love you B
Brandon: I love you to mom
I look over at Marianna and Jesus: Come here guys
They slowly walk over and I hug them both just like I did Brandon: I love you guys so much
Marianna: I love you to mom
Jesus: I love you mom
I look over at Lena and smile everything that mattered to me was in this room. I smile feeling so lucky that I am here right now with my kids surrounding me and my beautiful Lena. Life can't get any better then this.
Sharon: Hi honey how are you?
Stef: I'm okay mom
Mike: Hey just wanted to check and make sure your okay
Stef: I'm okay I'm going to be just fine, going to be off for a few weeks though.
Mike: Well just rest up that's all that matters. Captain Roberts said take all the time you need.
Sharon: Well kids why don't we go back home so your mom can rest and she will see you all tomorrow when she comes home.
Stef: Grandma's right guys you need to get into bed it's late but I will see you tomorrow.
Brandon, Mariana and Jesus all looked at me nodding. I could tell they didn't want to go but they knew they weren't going to win this argument. I see how tired Lena is and I want her to stay with me tonight, but I want her to go home and get rest it has been a long and emotionally exhausting day.
Stef: Lena you should go home and get some rest
Lena: Stef I'm not going anywhere. I am staying right here with you until you are cleared to go home
Stef: Alright everyone thanks for coming. I will see you all tomorrow.
Mike: Alright night Stef get some rest. You to Lena
Lena: I'll walk you out. I will be right back Stef
Stef: Sounds good...Hey Mike one sec
After everyone leaves I look at Mike and smile as I know what he did tonight and wanted him to know how much I appreciate it.
Mike: What's up Stef?
Stef: Thank you for coming to the scene. And thanks for being there for Lena I know that this hasn't been easy on you at all
Mike: Hey I understand. Lena and I understand each other now Stef, I get it she loves you and you love her.
Stef: Thanks
Mike: Anytime. Take care Stef and get some rest and I will come by and see you tomorrow at home.
After everyone is gone and Lena comes back I smile at her.
Stef: Thanks for staying with me love
Lena: There is no where else I would rather be
Stef: Can you please hold me?
Lena: Of course
I feel Lena's arms wrap around me as I lay my head on her chest feeling the safest I have felt all day. The calming sound of her heart beating and a kiss on my head makes me relax for the first time since I got to the hospital and slowly I drift asleep.
You're in my heart
Song Credit: That's the Reason by No Angels
