As much as I didn't want to do it, I knew I had to. Loki's 'generosity' covered only one day; after that, there were no promises. That day was almost up; the others would be asleep soon, and while I doubted I could sleep at all, I needed to speak with one of them before they went to bed for the night. As much as my emotions were a wreck at the moment, I knew I might not have another chance.

It was time to ask Bruce the Death Question.

I'd been back at Stark Tower for about three hours now, and he hadn't said a single word about my outburst in front of everyone. I didn't know if he was being kind or if he was ignoring me, but at the moment it didn't matter. All that mattered was that I cleared everything up between us; and got an answer to the question that had plagued me for a while now.

I knew I had to ask him now; Loki had let me ask the others without interference, but I suspected he didn't think of them as much of a threat. If I was indestructible, then there would be nothing they could do to stop me. Of course, there was that one weakness-that small hole that allowed air inside- but that moved about; it would be difficult to get a shot at it, even if it was visible to the naked eye.

But Loki knew the Hulk even better then I did- though I didn't really know the Hulk. And he knew that the Green Giant would have the best chance out of any of them. It was likely that he would try and stop me from asking Banner; which was why I had to do it now, when I had some time away from Loki and his craziness.

I knocked on the glass door of the lab, where he was studiously working. My brain felt like Jell-O, and my heart felt even worse, but I forced myself to smile as he looked up. He waved me inside, and I entered, a gnawing apprehension in my gut.

He smiled at me. "Hello, Natalie."

"Hey, Doc," I responded, jumping up onto my usual hospital bed. My feet immediately started kicking back and forth.

"Seeing as you've already had your blood drawn today, I take it there's another reason you're here," he said calmly, looking up at me. I smiled weakly at him.

"Yeah…Listen… about what I said to Tony earlier…" I rubbed the back of my neck, my eyes on my swaying feet.

"I heard nothing you didn't want me to hear," he answered after a moment. I gave him a grateful smile. Bruce Banner: scientist, green rage monster, and all-around nice guy.

"Yeah, well… I want you to know everything," I admitted. He looked to me, his gaze on mine. He stepped away from the table where he worked, giving me his full attention. He even took his glasses off.

I swallowed and went on, "I… um…" I couldn't say it. I'd said it a million times before, but now I was choking. "I…"

Banner's eyebrows went up. "You asked Tony to kill you if something happened and you lost control."

My eyes popped. He sighed heavily. "And now you're going to ask me the same thing."

I nodded mutely. He leaned back against the wall, sighing quietly. "Well, I can't say I didn't expect this."

Well, I could. I didn't expect this at all. How the hell did the doc know what I'd wanted to ask him, if no one told him about it? I mean, what I'd said to Stark earlier was a bit of a giveaway, I'll admit, but still…

Bruce pressed his fingers together thoughtfully, pausing for a moment to think through his words. "Once you realize that you are a danger to the people you care about; or even to people you don't… and that you are completely out of control… it's only inevitable that you reach that conclusion."

Ah. And he would know, wouldn't he? Gamma-Man was experienced in these matters. I looked down, studying my shoes, wiggling my toes inside them.

"I have to warn you that it might not be possible," he added, his eyes very serious as I glanced back up to him. "Now, I can give you any guarantee you'd like; or… the Other Guy can. But it might not work." He gestured to a screen, where some notes probably proved his points if I could have seen them. Or, better yet, if I could have understood them. "We're dealing with a kind of power I've never seen before; to be honest, I'm not sure how Tony did it. You may be stronger even than…" He frowned, his eyes scanning the screen.

I gave him a minute to think, even waiting until he was about to put his glasses back on, then prodded, "Dr. Banner?"

His eyes turned back to me. "Sorry," he said, but he still seemed lost in thought. There was an 'idea spark' in his eyes; something I'd seen on him and Tony both on frequent occasions. He blinked a few times, and the spark faded, but it did not entirely disappear.

"You will try though, won't you?" I asked, bringing him back to Earth, and to the subject at hand. His eyes went to mine, focusing back on me.

"Ah…" He took another moment to consider how to phrase his response, then concluded, "I will do everything within my power to stop you, if the need arises. Even if that means killing you."

Five Avengers asked, none to go. I still had to convince Tony; or, at the very least, talk to him about the prospect, but right now that didn't matter. Bruce was on my side. Bruce was the one I really needed. Despite how hectic and painful this day had been, I was relieved. "Gracias," I thanked him. Banner nodded in return and, though he was trying not to be rude, I saw his eyes slide back to the screen. I understood completely; now that the issue was settled, I wanted to run away as fast as my feet could carry me and just collapse in my room.

I stepped back. "I mean it," I said vehemently. "Thank you." I started towards the door. "I'll… I'll see you tomorrow."

He seemed grateful for my departure, though he tried not to show it. "Oh. Yes. See you tomorrow." His eyes went back to the screen, and he pulled his glasses out of his pocket and put them on. His eyes flashed as he studied the words there that I would probably not understand, and I closed the door behind me.

I headed off to my room in silence, replaying the conversation in my head. I guessed I should've seen that. I guessed I should've seen that Bruce would understand completely.

But I also guessed I couldn't see everything.


I woke up screaming.

Well, technically, I woke up with my mouth wide open, my eyes bulging, and the intent to scream. But no sound came out.

I hadn't been asleep for long; I'd made the most out of the twenty-four hours Loki gave me, and fell asleep with two of those hours left to go.

Since that, two and a half had passed.

I backed away to the top of my bed, curling in a ball and placing my hands over my ears, clawing at them, as though I could rip out the sound that I had never heard. My heart was racing again, adrenaline scorching my veins. My breathing was quick and strained, and I couldn't get enough air.

I closed my eyes tightly. Really? This was what he had to do?

Bastard.

There's a line I don't cross, I snarled at him in my head. Pay me the same respect.

He didn't even respond. That son of a bitch. I cussed him out in my head for a solid two minutes, trying to calm my breathing.

In a week, Loki had shown me nightmares of my mom, April, and the Avengers all dying; as well as some other distant-but-close relations of mine. It was crossing a line, that was true; but there are lines, and there are lines. Then there are those closely-guarded secrets that you lock away in the darkest parts of your soul, never speaking about it to anyone; and woe to anyone who dared to cross that line.

I curled in on myself, hearing my father's screams in my ears one more time. Why was I getting used to seeing the people I loved die, but one image of the person I loathed being killed at my hand… and I completely lost it?

Why? I demanded of Loki, screaming at him. Why are you doing this? Tell me, dammit!

Still no response.

I buried my face in my hands, my heart still echoing in my ears. I could feel my pulse throughout my entire body, but it wasn't particularly fast. The world was safe for one more night.

And then, suddenly, agony pierced my heart; I barely stopped the scream as, trying to get away from the pain, I ended up falling backwards and onto the ground. I clamped my teeth on my tongue, so tight that it drew blood, but it kept the tortured screaming inside; I didn't want the Avengers involved in this. And they would be, if I started screaming. JARVIS' cool voice spoke.

"Do you require assistance, Ms. Natalie?"

"No!" I snapped. "Just… go!" I growled at the computer, then curled in tightly on myself.

Why? Loki's voice finally came into my head; the pain stopped, and I let out all the air I'd been holding in a heavy, relieved sigh. Because your sympathies had been misplaced; again. You were beginning to doubt me, Miss Frost, to doubt who I am and what I am capable of. His voice dropped to the smallest whisper. This is merely a reminder.

And then he was gone. I stayed on the ground, willing myself to calm down again, but the tears were flowing. I had no idea where Loki had gotten that idea from (I knew perfectly well how much of an asshole he was) but I thought a great deal came from how I'd been bleeding for him, for his situation, more frequently than usual. After all, I'd actually felt guilty for him for a while there, when there was no blame on my shoulders…

"Fine, then!" I screamed out loud. "You don't want my help? That's fine! I won't help you! But when you get trashed by the Avengers, don't come crying to me!"

JARVIS' voice joined my little insanity party. "Miss Natalie, I'm afraid I don't understand what you are asking me to do."

"Oh, shut up," I glared at the ceiling, trying to stare down the machine. The machine with no eyes. Ugh.

I looked up at my bed. My heart still felt like it had been run through with a lance, and my limbs were shaky and weak. There was no way I was getting back onto that bed; so I yanked down the blanket, and one of the pillows. Pulling the former over my shoulders and tucking the latter under my head, I curled up on the floor.

Feeling wretched, exhausted and miserable, I cried myself to sleep.


Bruce slammed down a friggin' enormous stack of papers onto the table in front of me. "It's Asgardian."

Holding an ice pack to my head with one hand and cradling a coffee mug with the other, I looked painfully up at him. My eyes were gunked up by sleep, the light was way too bright, and my head felt like someone had taken a jackhammer to it. Naturally, I wasn't in the best of moods; and my reaction to his statement clearly showed that. "What the hell are you on about?"

Tony came up to the table where I was trying to eat breakfast (translation: trying unsuccessfully to drown my sorrows in coffee in peace). He slid sideways into a chair across from me. "You're not going to like this, Pizza Girl," he said in a grave tone.

"I don't like anything," I grumbled. "I don't like you, I don't like Loki, and I don't like this place. And I don't like being awake, for that matter." I let my head fall from where it rested on the ice pack, slamming into the table. I didn't bother to lift it again. "OW."

They waited for me to return the ice pack to the back of my head; they were probably exchanging a look and waiting for me to actually sit up again. Seeing as that didn't happen, Bruce went on.

"Your 'bubble'," he explained. "It's not just technology; it's… magic."

I propped my chin up, giving them both a reproachful glare. "You're shitting me."

"Erm… no," Banner responded, seeming very slightly taken aback by my hostility. He gestured to the massive stack of papers that he'd put on the table. "I realized it last night. These things- the nanobots- never made much sense to me. There were too many questions; they were supposed to draw power from the nearest energy source if they ever ran out, but the nearest energy source was you and, even though they should've run out weeks ago… well… you're fine."

"That's debatable," I answered, pressing my forehead to the wooden table again.

Tony cut in. "Things used to happen with the prototypes; things I'd… forgotten, until Bruce brought it up last night. Not because it was unimportant…" I heard the frown in his voice. "I think someone wanted me to forget. But Banner realized that the energy signatures radiating from you- and the nanobots inside you- were very similar to the energy signatures in Asgardian weaponry. And, by definition, the Asgardians themselves."

I didn't look up at them. This was just fricking brilliant.

"So what are you saying?" I asked, a little dangerously.

Tony took a deep breath. "Basically, when I would stop working on the prototypes, someone else would start. The technology was manipulated, reshaped. And when they got into your blood… it's conceivable that something else did, too."

"Get to the point, Stark; what does that mean?" I looked up at them at last, eyes on fire. My hand gripped the coffee cup so tightly I feared it might shatter. No, wait, scratch that; right then, I wasn't afraid of anything. I was too furious to be afraid.

He and Bruce shared another look; clearly, my anger was not going unnoticed. "It means that Loki set this up from the beginning," Bruce answered quietly. "And that you were absolutely right; he does want you to lose control. We still don't know why, but this just proves…"

"Proves what?" I cut him off. "Proves that I was right all along? Proves that I might just know what I'm talking about from time to time?" I glowered at them both, the nerds. My head was pounding. My mouth was dry, and my arms and legs felt impossibly stiff. I chugged the last of the coffee, slamming the mug onto the table as I stood up. "What a shocker," I sneered, then, mimicking Tony, I added, "'Oh, hey, not only is this tech really dangerous and classified, but it's also freaking magical as well.'" I laughed bitterly, acidly, then shook my head and turned away. "I'm going back to bed."

"Natalie…" Bruce tried to stop me. "This is a good thing. It means that we're one step closer to figuring out what Loki's plan is. If we figure it out… we may just be able to stop him."

"Isn't that what you want?" Another voice joined the conversation; Clint's. I turned to him, leaning against the doorway on the other side of the room. "To stop Loki?"

My eyes narrowed at the not-so-veiled accusation. "No shit, Sherlock," I growled at him.

"Natalie, we're only trying to help," Bruce said gently, taking my arm, but I wrenched it away from him.

"I know," I said darkly. "Look, I get it, the Avengers are the heroes here, they have to save the day… but right now, I just need a little time to be my own damn hero, ok?" I turned around. "Just… let me think."

I stalked out of the room, but Clint followed me. Because spies don't understand the concept of 'personal space'.

"Natalie," he called, but I kept going. Really, it was all I could do to keep from breaking down right there. I didn't want to think of the ramifications this new discovery could hold; because if the nanobots were Asgardian in origin, then that meant that Loki had been playing a long game with us all; and I did not like where that train of thought led me. In fact, I didn't like any train of thought that led to Loki at the moment. I just wanted to be left alone.

"Natalie," Clint repeated, not raising his voice. I whirled on my heel-it was barely a conscious decision- so that I was facing him, and my hands curled into fists at my sides. He was regarding me intently, his gaze so piercing and cold…

"What do you want, Bird Man?" I demanded. He frowned.

"What is wrong with you?" He asked me, pulling no punches, wasting no time with subtleties. "You're not… yourself."

"And I'm sure you know me so well."

"Fair point," he admitted. "But you're not… like you used to be. Something's changed. I want to know what it is and if it threatens our mission."

I laughed loudly, painfully. "Your mission?" I sneered, then laughed again. "Oh, a true little spy, right to the end, aren't you?" I felt like I already had the noose around my neck; it was time to just hang myself and get it over with. "Tell me something, oh great perceiver of all things; when did you notice this change in my behavior?"

He frowned, but answered. "Yesterday. After you woke up."

"Exactly," I hissed. "Tell me, Secret Agent Man; when Loki first invaded? When he got into your head and twisted your thoughts? When he brought an army to the planet and started to conquer? When you fought that army, fought him off, when you eventually won?" Clint was looking at me, unsure of where I was going with this.

"Do you really think that you were the same man coming out of that war as you were going into it?" I asked, looking him in the eye. "Because you'd have to be something pretty damn special if that was the case, let me tell you." I took a few steps towards him. "I just emerged from a week-long war, in which I watched my family and friends die in front of my eyes. In which I killed every last one of them." I tilted my head to the side. "And you wonder why I'm 'not like I used to be'?"

Clint listened to my rant in silence. I tried to stare him down; but staring down a spy is next to impossible. I looked away, my eyes dissecting the carpet. I was stressed out, I'll admit. I just wanted to go to sleep, to process everything I'd just learned. I'd gotten maybe three hours of sleep last night, due to the nightmares and constant whispering in the back of my mind. Loki had been plotting, planning; and when he did that, there was no peace and quiet even in my own head.

And now I found out that these nanobots were really magic…? I didn't use to totally believe in magic, but when it was explained as a different kind of science, hey, I understood. And it's hard not to believe in that when you have a 'master of magic' lurking around in your private thoughts.

But that wasn't really the problem. The problem was, Loki had been planning this for ages. So it was just possible that I was not a random bystander that got caught up in all this mess. It was possible that Loki hand-picked me; why, I'll never know. But the idea scared me for some reason.

And this meant that, not only were the creepy crawlies harmful, they had the potential to abracadabra me into non-existence. Clint had once theorized that the nanobots were helping Loki to control me as well as having something he wanted; and now it turned out he might be right…?

My head was still pounding. I was aching and miserable and I just… didn't want to talk right now. I didn't want to talk at all. I just wanted to sleep.

"All right," Clint said quietly. I scrambled to think about what he was saying 'all right' to; my thoughts were so convoluted and crazy right now. Oh, yes. I 'wasn't like I used to be'. "I understand, Natalie."

I nodded, still not looking up to face his eyes. Already, guilt churned in my gut. I wasn't mad at the Avengers; they were just close by. It was Loki that I wanted to throttle. Not enough to go and cross that line again, but definitely enough that, if he showed his real face (and not an illusion) I would know exactly what to do.

"Just…" Clint went on. "Be careful."

I swallowed. There was just the touch of a threat in his words. I gave him a solemn, "Okay," and headed to my room.

I stayed there with my mixed feelings of guilt, frustration and anger for the next hour and a half, tossing and turning on my bed despite how utterly exhausted I was. My brain was still spinning; trying to figure out what this whole 'magic bubble of death' thing meant, trying to push aside my guilt about Loki and my fury at him, trying to will away the blame on my shoulders from yelling at Tony and Bruce for seemingly no reason…

My every muscle aching and sore, and my stomach twisting and churning, I'd all but given up on sleep when there was a knock on my door. I groaned.

"JARVIS, who is it?" I asked. JARVIS displayed a hologram of one Natasha Romanov; AKA the Black Widow, AKA the spy who never once talked to me ever. I sat up. This would be interesting.

Why did the interesting things always happen when I was dead tired?

I fell back on my bed. "Come in," I called, waving away the hologram that JARVIS had pulled up for me. Natasha entered; I only then noticed the absolutely huge paper cup in her hand. She handed it over to me with just one word: "Espresso."

I looked at it, my eyebrows shooting up. "Are you trying to keep me awake for a month?"

"If that's what needs to be done," she answered, casually enough. I sat back up and took the drink. It wasn't like I was going to be able to sleep, anyway.

I chugged back a large part of it, drinking more and faster than I usually would just to avoid the conversation. The familiar buzz in my veins didn't kick in just yet, but I didn't really notice. I was just surprised that anyone would get me an espresso this big. Me especially. I'm bad enough with my daily three cups of coffee. The fact that Natasha had been the one to give it to me just made me more suspicious. But at the moment, I didn't really care that she was trying to get me super-hyper. I didn't exactly want to sleep anymore.

"Clint said you were…" She paused, considering her words carefully, then concluded with a bit of a smile, "Having a bad day."

"You could say that," I grumbled, taking another large gulp of espresso. Half of it was gone already. Damn. I'm like the Pac-Man of coffee. I gave her a suspicious sideways glance as she sat down next to me on the bed. "Did he ask you to check up on me, too?"

"The subject came up in conversation," She answered breezily. I grinned. Well, honesty was good. I listened to her voice; she had the barest trace of an accent, maybe. Or maybe that was just how she talked. How would I know? All I knew was that she looked, talked, and probably frickin' sang a lot better than me. Yep, jealousy kicking in again.

But the accent interested me. Was that… Russian? Well, 'Romanov' didn't exactly sound like a strictly American name …

"Good to know the Bird Brain is thinking about me," I said, then took another long drink. My stomach felt all sloshy and weird, but, that was the way with me and coffee. I didn't like to leave any behind; I just chugged it down until it was gone and I was doing tap-dances on the ceiling.

"He's concerned for you. We all are," she said, sounding genuine. I snorted.

"He's concerned for the 'mission'. You all are," I turned her words against her. My fingernail ran along the cardboard holder on the cup; the one that kept me from singeing my fingers. It was only then that I noticed that my fingernails had been chewed ragged. When the hell did that happen? I mean, with all of the stress I'd been through, I wasn't surprised… but still…

Natasha looked at me. She had this intensity in her eyes… her eyes that were way prettier than mine… wow, I was actually starting to hate how beautiful she was. It was totally bitchy of me, but seriously. She had the mad assassin skills, the awesome hair, the gorgeous eyes… and of course, she was one of the Avengers. Thus, she was an equal with all of those other beautiful people… compare that to little, average me with my dumb luck and anger issues…

But it might not have been dumb luck. Loki might have picked me in particular… ugh, headache. The espresso was not helping; in fact, I seemed to be getting sleepier as opposed to more awake. Who knew how that worked.

Anyway. Natasha was looking at me with an intense gaze. "I don't think you understand your role here, Natalie," she said, and her words were a touch kinder than I'd thought they would be. "You're not just… 'The Civilian' anymore." She looked away. I hid a grin by gluing my lips to the paper mug. So I had a few nicknames of my own, did I? 'Pizza Girl', 'The Civilian'… I wondered what other half-demeaning-half-endearing names the others had for me. I certainly had plenty for each of them. Heck, when Thor came along, I'd probably give him a few, too.

Natasha went on. "You have some valid input; you tell us everything that's happening. You're our only eyes and ears on Loki right now and…" She hesitated. "And you're the only one currently able to fight him."

That caught me by surprise. I set the espresso down, feeling the liquid inside shake and swirl about. Natasha sounded a little irritated about that, and I wondered… "What did he do to you?"

She looked at me, eyebrows lifted in curiosity. I rolled my eyes. "He did something. Every time you say his name you get this look in your eye; like you just wanna take the nearest object and put a bullet in it." I turned entirely to face her, falling immediately into 'girl talk' mode; because girl talk with a spy equates to discussing the reasons you hate your mortal enemies.

Natasha didn't respond for a long moment, her eyes looking across the room. "Just… be grateful you can fight him. Because the rest of us do know what he's like… and it's killing us, not being able to touch him." She swallowed. "The others may not admit it, but I will."

"You have red in your ledger," I said, then clamped my hands over my mouth. Natasha looked to me, face twisted into… rage? Pain? Something dark. I shook my head quickly, eyes panicked. "That wasn't me!" I protested, waving my hands about frantically. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, that wasn't me!"

Her eyebrows furrowed. "He has control…?"

I shook my head quickly. "No! No, that's the first thing he's said since last night!" But I was cussing him out in my mind; really? He chose now to insult the super-spy? What the hell kind of 'genius' was he; I could've been killed!

Moron, I growled at him. I heard him chuckling softly, and then my gut turned cold. I sighed in relief.

"He's gone," I said quickly. Natasha gave me a disbelieving look, and I looked back apologetically. "Sorry. Really sorry about that. I don't always know when he's watching."

She didn't respond. After a moment, however, she gestured to the cup, her tone a little softer. "Drink your espresso."

I obeyed, pressing my lips to the cup's lid, gulping back as much as I possibly could. Not much left. I swallowed dryly, despite all of the coffee-on-caffeine that I'd just drunk. I still wasn't feeling any more awake; in fact, if anything, I was getting more tired.

The two of us didn't say anything for a moment. Finally, I asked, "What did he mean? 'Red in your ledger'?"

She looked to me. Her eyes flickered to the drink in my hand as I drained the last few sips. "It doesn't matter right now."

I didn't have the energy to argue with her. But the way she was looking at the espresso… the way my limbs suddenly felt a thousand times heavier than they should… the way the colors in the room started to mesh with each other…

I looked at the paper cup in horror. Wow. I am an idiot. My eyes turned to her, raising the cup just the tiniest inch; I could barely move, and the room was starting to spin. "Did you drug me?"

"You needed to sleep."

"You drugged me."

"You had to drink the whole thing for it to work."

"You drugged me."

"It had to be done."

"You drugged me."

She stood as I started to fall backwards. "Good night, Natalie."

"I'll never trust a spy again."

"You may not have a choice."

"Can't even trust the coffee."

"You'll thank me tomorrow."

"Five bucks says you're wrong."

She smiled at me, understanding me despite the way my words were slurring. As my head hit the pillow and the room kept spinning, she stood and walked towards the light. She switched it off, sending me into day lit darkness. In seconds, I was completely and utterly dead to the world.


Despite the fact that I had called this unofficial 'meeting' of the Avengers, I was the only one who showed up late. That was embarrassing. Grumbling to myself as I walked in, I spotted Natasha near the door. Sighing, I handed her a five-dollar bill; she smirked slyly and pocketed it. The others watched our interaction in bemusement, and I took my place at the front of the room; I had called the meeting, so I was the one orchestrating it. But here's the thing with me and organization; we get along about as well as me and math do. We have the same epic, death-match blood-feud sorta thing going on.

I cleared my throat, trying to think of what I wanted to say, and how I wanted to say it. I was feeling a lot better now; no longer so tired or irritable… I guess that would have a lot to do with the drug-induced super-sleep that had kept me out cold and dreamless for nineteen hours straight. To this day I don't know what the hell she put in that thing, but it seemed to keep even Loki at bay. Score one for the Black Widow.

I swallowed and began. "Um… I was a little… upset with everyone yesterday," I said, my toes kicking absentmindedly at the carpet.

"A little?" Tony interjected. I took it without a comeback.

"A lot," I admitted. "And I'm sorry. It wasn't you I was frustrated with; I just kinda took it out on you." I shrugged helplessly. "Ok?"

Bruce smiled at me. "It's all right, Natalie," he said quietly. "We understand."

"Speak for yourself," Tony cut in. "Personally, I'd like to see some groveling first."

"Keep dreaming, Tone," I said, looking away from him and to the rest of the group. "I ain't that sorry." The others smiled a little. I cleared my throat again.

"Now that's out of the way," I went on, "I think we all know the other pressing matter; the fact that this little Death Bubble of mine, besides not having a cool name, is also magical." I did Jazz Hands on the word 'magical'.

"I dunno," Tony said, leaning back. "I kinda like 'Death Bubble'. It has a certain ring to it."

I snorted. "I don't need naming advice from you, 'Iron Man'. What do you do? Fight the evils of wrinkled clothing?"

He scowled at me. "Remember how sorry you were three seconds ago, Pizza Girl."

I looked to the others. "Ignoring Tony's immaturity, I think we should discuss the whole 'magic' thing. See if anyone has any ideas." The others kept watching me as I stood there, and I found myself chewing on my thumbnail. "So… that's all." I shrugged, pulling my fingernail out of my mouth.

The others considered my words. Bruce nodded slowly. "Any thoughts?" he prodded.

I shrugged. "As far as I can tell, all this says is that Loki definitely wants to use the nanobots for something; most likely using the Death Bubble. And that…" I hesitated, then swallowed my fears and finished, "That it's possible that this whole thing wasn't random."

The theory got mixed reactions from the gathered superheroes. Steve looked slightly surprised that I'd come to this conclusion, as did Tony, but Bruce and Natasha both had a knowing look on their faces. Clint was studying me. Like usual. Stupid spy.

"But hey, I'm open to rejections of that idea," I said, laughing nervously. "I mean, you doubt everything else that ever comes out of my mouth, so…"

Tony snorted. A few of the others looked a bit guilty. But no one said a word.

I sighed heavily. "Yeah. That's what I thought." I slouched against the wall. "So what now?"

Again, no response. Everyone looked to each other. Finally, Tony spoke. "We need to step this up. Get these things out of you."

"We?" I inquired, lifting an eyebrow.

"Fine. I need to step it up and get these things out of you."

"Actually…" Bruce stood up slowly. Everyone looked to him. He looked extremely uncomfortable, and shot a pitying look in my direction before clearing his throat and saying, "I'm afraid that's not possible."

I felt my heart turn cold as Bruce went on. "Once I knew what I was looking at- that these things were partially Asgardian- I realized that the radiation they're putting out… the background energy that they emit… it has an unfortunate side effect."

Here's a tip. If anyone ever uses the words 'unfortunate side effect' when talking about you? Run as fast as you can.

"I have managed to create something that destroys the nanobots… but at a cost. Every time these things were annihilated, the energy that they create, this background energy… it vanished as well."

Tony lifted his eyebrows. "And the problem with this is… what, exactly?"

Bruce shot him a bit of a look-not much of one, but a bit of one- and answered, "Natalie's system… it's come to depend on that energy for survival. It's… like an addiction. A drug. She can no longer live without it."

Silence followed this new announcement. I kept my face blank and emotionless despite the temptation to just start screaming at the top of my lungs for no apparent reason. Bruce wouldn't meet my eyes. I knew he wanted to, I knew he wanted to be kind about this… but he was telling me what someone else must've told him who-knew-how-long-ago.

I was incurable.

I swallowed, coughing a little and looking up to clear the moisture out of my eyes. "Right." I said, then coughed again. "Right," I said once more. "Ok. So… I'm addicted to this energy. And I can't quit cold turkey… why?"

Bruce finally looked to me. "The shock to your system… it would be devastating. And the nanos would be destroyed; you'd have nothing to help repair the damage. You'd last… maybe twenty, thirty minutes."

I ran my hands over my face, taking a few deep breaths. I wanted to just bang my head into a brick wall. Loki had us all going in circles, thinking that this could be cured, then it couldn't, then it could, and now…

"This is such bullshit," I said, giving up and turning to the wall, smacking my forehead into it. Hard. "Bullshit!" Smack. "Bullshit!" Smack. "Bullshit!" SMACK!

"I'm sorry, Natalie," Bruce said behind me in that ever-cool voice of his. But it was genuine. I could not doubt that he was genuine.

"I'm gonna hurl."

"It was always a possibility, Nat," Even Tony seemed to be trying to cheer me up.

"Being cured was always a possibility, too," I snapped back, not looking at any of them.

"There's nothing to gain from smacking your head against a wall, Natalie," Clint said, a bit harshly.

"Quit saying my name!" I screamed at them all, then gave my head one good smack for the road. I was totally dizzy by this point. Everyone shut up for a minute; and when someone did try to talk, I held up two fingers, so that they fell silent.

It took me a good four minutes to calm down, still staring at that wall and no one else. But, finally, I managed to get my temper-and my temporary insanity- in check. Keeping my face calm and my general body posture calmer, I looked to them all. They all looked up at me expectantly, like they expected me to seriously wig out and start doing the chicken dance before their eyes.

"Ok," I said, "So. Now that we've taken care of that, I don't think we need to waste any more of Bruce's time. Or Tony's, if he ever got off his lazy ass and working on that problem in the first place."

Tony did not object. He later said it was because of the crazy in my eyes.

"I think it'd be best if we all started working on the things that really matter." I swallowed. "First, this." I held up the silver band. "If I'm going to be living with these things for the rest of my life, I need to be able to handle them. To work with them." Everyone seemed incredibly impressed by my amazing keep-it-together skills. Skillz. With a z.

"Nothing that involves the Bubble of Death, obviously, but the other things, because I'm assuming the creepy crawlies do other things. I'm supposed to be able to run faster and crap like that, right? Be more agile or something?"

Tony nodded, his eyes lighting up a little. Well. He was excited to see how his little pet project worked out. I hadn't really been a very willing guinea pig. Boo hoo.

"Second, Loki. Now, I know we're all trying our best here, but we've gotta start thinking of new strategies. New plans. That way, no matter what Loki's play is, we'll have an idea to back it up, a plan against his plan." I swallowed. "And I want plans going on outside of my knowledge as well, understood? Loki likes to keep a close watch on me and the things I do, so do things that I don't know about. Make plans. Get weapons. Call people. Do whatever the hell you have to, but we are not going to let Loki get away with this."

Both Clint's and Natasha's eyebrows had disappeared beneath their hair. I could see a bit of grudging respect in the spies' eyes. Heh. The spies' eyes. I'm mature.

"Third, Thor." The Captain was watching me bemusedly, what with me barking out orders like a proper little soldier. "I get it, we've got no contact with Asgard, no way to know what he's thinking, and what he's doing. So we make some noise. He's got to have an eye on Earth somehow; that's his MO, right? He's big on protecting our world, right? So start lighting some fireworks! Tony, you're big on grand announcements; start announcing! Get the bat-signal started up! Something! And he's got a girl here somewhere, right? He's bound to be checking up on her more frequently than any of you bozos; get the word to her! Let him know that we're looking!"

I threw up my hands, warming up to my ideas. It felt good to be working again. To be thinking again. These days, all I'd been doing was swapping banter with Stark and occasionally cussing out/feeling sorry for Loki. Now I had a plan. Now I would be moving again, doing things again.

"Four, also Loki." I looked at them all. "But this has to do with my expertise." I glanced to Tony. "I know you guys don't want me out of the Tower, and that's fine. But I need someone to get me some serious psych textbooks. I've got research to do." At some inquiring looks, I went on, "Loki has- mostly inadvertently- given me a little bit of information on his past. And of course, I know a lot about the way he thinks. Well now I'm going to fine-tune that knowledge a little. Figure out what he feels, why he feels that way." I gave the Captain a knowing look. "You guys have your weapons, I have mine."

Steve smiled at me and nodded a little. I folded my arms over my chest, effectively ending the conversation. "Any questions?"

"Yeah," Tony said, because he doesn't know how to shut up. "Who died and made you Supreme Overlord of the Universe?"

"You, in about five seconds."

"Touché."

"So what do you want us to do now?" Steve prodded. I could see the glint in his eye, the little smile on his face. He wanted me to keep up this little 'soldier' act. Wanted to see how good of a leader I made. Well, I make a crappy leader, let me tell you. But I was kinda in the swing of things at the moment. "You're the one giving the orders. Follow through with them."

I swallowed. Basically, he was saying to divide the chores. I was definitely no good at that. I grew up without brothers and sisters; I never had those fights over who got the 'good' and 'bad' jobs. I never had to 'gauge their skill' or anything. I was just told to 'do this, do that' and I did it. Or else.

I'm not exactly 'leader' material.

But he was right. I had to follow through with this. I bit my lip. I might not always be good with 'gauging skill', but I was good with strengths and weaknesses. It was part of the psychological profile. I took a deep breath, sorting things out in my head.

"Clint, Steve, and Natasha," I said as clearly as I could, not looking at any of them for fear that they would totally resent taking orders from little ol' Civilian Pizza Girl me. "I think you should start thinking of strategies; and going over the old ones. See if you can't make any improvements." To my surprise, they all nodded. I felt a little giddy. Ok. People were listening to me. Hopefully this was a one-time thing, because I was nervous as hell. "Then run them by everyone else; keep a few from me, but run the rest by everyone else."

I looked directly to Clint. "And if you could maybe go through some drills with the rest of the team? I know some of them-Tony- will be adverse to it, but maybe we could give that a go?" Most of my 'orders' were questions. Eesh. My palms were sweating. But Clint nodded; he looked a little amused by my sudden interest in everything that was happening, but he didn't say a word about it. "You too, Steve."

"Sure thing," Steve agreed. This was actually happening. I was on top of the friggin' world.

"Right." I looked to Tony. Bossing him around was a little easier. He wasn't the type to hold secret resentments; he'd just blatantly tell you if he wasn't going to do as you asked. "Tony, I'm going to need you to pick up those psych books for me. You should know which ones I'll need." There. Stroke his ego a little. Just a little. Then shoot him down. "Also, I kinda don't wanna see your smarmy face for the next hour or so. It'll be best for you to get out of here."

He mock-saluted. "Yes, ma'am."

I was still shaking, but I kept my cool. "I'm going to change out of these…" I looked down to my pjs and flushed. "Suddenly humiliating bunny pajamas. Following that, I have to take care of things with a certain medieval nuisance." I knocked on the side of my head. "But after that. Bruce?"

His eyes locked on mine. "Yes?"

I held up the silver bracelet. "I want to go over some of these basics with you. I'd do it with Tony, but I don't like him. So I'll work with him once we hit things that you don't know. All right?"

He smiled softly. "Sounds good."

"Great." I swallowed. "As for the matter of Thor… Tony, what do you think you could do, without drawing too much of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s attention?"

Tony smiled not-so-softly. "I have a few ideas."

"Will anyone die?"

"Not this time."

"Good." I clapped my hands together. "Right! I think that covers everything."

No one objected. I smiled stupidly. I had no idea how to end this. "Ok. Get lost."

Yep. That's tact right there.

"And she sticks the landing," Tony mumbled. I made sure to give him a smack on the back of the head as I stalked out, not bothering to tie everything together like I probably should. As I left, though, Steve came up next to me.

"Good job in there," he complimented me.

"Spoken like a true soldier?" I asked dryly. He gave me a smile. I shuddered. "I'm never doing that again."

"You won't have to. But you saw what needed to be done and did it." He stopped walking, so that I had to turn and face him. "Not everyone does that. Not everyone can do that."

"I'm not everyone."

"Oh, believe me. I know."

I laughed. "I'll see you on the front lines, Soldier Boy."

"I'll be there, Soldier Girl."

Of all my nicknames, this one had my heart doing little flip-flops the most. My chest swelled with pride. Had Tony called me that, I would've called him 'Toaster Boy' and be done with it. But this was Steve; and Steve was a soldier. It was a compliment. And it had me all but skipping as I went to the elevator and up to my room.

I changed into decent clothes. Something warm, considering where I wanted to go; the roof. Always good to talk to people on the roof.

I pulled on some thick black pants, black boots, black shirt, grey sweatshirt. Black jacket over grey sweatshirt. I had absolutely no colors, because I was boring like that. I pulled my hair into a ponytail, put on a little makeup… I made it look like I was going out into the real world, even though I knew I wasn't. Just because it felt right. It felt good to get dressed, as though I was actually going to go out and accomplish something for the day. Whether or not I actually was still had to be determined.

Once I was ready, I took the elevator to the penthouse. I took a moment to linger in front of the Hulk-plaque, grinning to myself, knowing that Loki was watching. One Avenger, by themselves, had managed to beat this man up. He wasn't so scary without his armies, or secret weapons. He was just some dude with a bit of the crazies, that's all.

I smiled and ran to the stairs, taking them two at a time. It brought my heart rate up a bit, but there wasn't enough adrenaline to get the bots into gear. I burst through the door and into the snow-muffled sunshine, the clouded grey day surrounding and enveloping me. Ah, snow. Gotta love it.

I could feel Loki's questioning thoughts in the back of my head. I was keeping what I wanted to say secret. But he wasn't showing himself, wasn't speaking to me yet. I stared out at the empty space and waited for him to appear.

When he did not, I sighed and spoke, "For all that they knew, you were safe home/ but you went through hell whenever you were left alone."

Still no response. "It's from a song," I explained. "'Internal Dialogue.' It's a great song, totally depressing, but great." I kept staring at the empty space, willing him to appear. "And, for some reason, whenever I think about you, that line plays in my head. I'm sure you've heard it from time to time; you're listening to my thoughts, after all."

It's rather tiresome, actually.

I smiled. Ok. So he wasn't letting me see him yet. I could deal with that, though I was curious as to why. Why he was barely speaking to me. Why he'd attacked me like he had. Why he wanted me angry at him and why I was going along with it.

"Look, I just want to talk. It'd be easier if I could see you, too." Nothing. "All right. Fine. Then listen. And listen close.

"The Avengers are together. Your brother might not be here yet, but that doesn't matter. They're getting their act together again, and when you come for us, for me, they're going to beat you. Just like last time. One way or another; whether you get pounded by them or I figure out a way to turn your little mind-meld against you. We're going to win. You're one against an army, here."

Still nothing. I didn't understand it. "So I'm offering you one chance here. Get back to Asgard, back where you belong. Get out of my head, get out of our lives, just get out. Spare yourself the indignities of defeat-not to mention the crippling pain- and just… go home. Whatever the Asgardians did to you, it won't be nearly as bad as what we'll do when we get our hands on you. Cause if the Avengers don't take care of you, I will. Remember that." I swallowed. "I may not cross lines, Loki, but I'm not going to hold back. You're going to lose."

There was a long, weighted silence. And then he started to laugh. Quietly, at first, but then louder and louder, until the sound echoed so piercingly that I grit my teeth and resisted the urge to cover my ears.

You continue to disappoint, Miss Frost, with your complete and utter ignorance.

Ugh, enough of the monologue already. GET ON WITH IT!

You have no idea… the things I have planned for you… I heard him laughing again. See you on the front lines…

And then he was gone again. I scowled. Well, I hadn't really thought that would work, anyway. Still, it was worth a shot. I shivered in the cold, my breath misting in front of my face.

"Well, fine," I grumbled. "I don't like you, either." I stuck my tongue out at the open air, then sighed when I realized that I was left talking to myself. I turned back to the Tower and started my journey to the lab. Well, things were going to get interesting…

A/N: The lyrics that Natalie quoted are from the song 'Internal Dialogue' by Maria Mena; I own nothing.