Daylight
BellaPOV
Chapter 9
Edward really didn't want me to sit beside him; his body was ridged for the whole class. But it would be okay, it's not like I would hurt him, now I had to convince him that.
I found it so easy to breathe around him, literally. But also I noticed his attire, his jeans were too big and old for him, the knees were ripped and I knew they weren't meant to be, his hoodie was to big too, though that was fine, hoodies were meant to be big-and I don't say this because I'm a sucker for a guy in a hoddie- because I was.
The main thing I learned about him in this class wasn't how I liked to breathe in his non bloody scent, or how he never relaxed, or brought his head up.
But I found out something much, much worse.
He had been pulling on his sleeve, his right one, the one closest to me. And I wondered why, but when I saw, I wish I never knew.
It was like I figured out why he was pulling on the sleeve a second before I saw the evidence. It didn't prepare me much. Nothing could have.
There on his wrist was an ugly purple bruise, it went the whole way around like an unpleasant, bracelet, only you couldn't take it off, you could try hide a bruise, which he was trying to do. But you can't get rid of it.
''Edward, are you okay?''
He studied me for a second, probably wondering if I knew something, if I had saw something. His wrist had only been exposed for a millisecond, but that's all it took.
That's all it ever took.
''Yes, why would you ask that?''
''You're wrist . . . it's just . . . are you alright?''
His breathing hitched and he cleared his throat, pulling on his sleeve, trying to mask the already hidden wrist. ''I fell.''
''Oh, okay.'' I was a good enough actor when it came down to it, and with his quiet sigh of relief, I knew he thought I believed him, how I wish it were true, how I wish he did fall on a bangle the whole way around his wrist.
''You walk home, right?'' I asked as a topic of interest, I needed to ask now or I knew I never would.
''Em, yeah, me and Alice do, why?''
''It's meant to rain later, you know,'' I nodded at him, like I was agreeing with myself trying to convince him. ''Em and Rose drove themselves today, so it's just me and Jazz in the car, we have room if you'd like, I don't want you or Alice to get a cold or something.''
''Oh, no it's fine.''
He didn't even think about it, he didn't even want to.
''Just think about it, you might change your mind when you're cold and rained on.'' I grinned at him, a smile that usually got to everyone. He was no different, his heart sped up and he turned away, muttering something over and over again, it took me a while to figure out what.
''Stupid, don't even think about it.'' He kept saying it, over and over, it was slightly scary.
When the bell rang, I had made a decision, I had to stay away from Edward Masen, for his sake as much as mine. I would still help him, and Alice of course, no one should have to live with abusive parents. But I had to have minimal contact with him.
Because I knew where I was heading.
And it was not smart to fall for a human. It would be so easy to fall for him, I felt it, if I let myself, I could just close my eyes, just for a moment, and wake up and love him.
I had known the boy a day, and if these were my thoughts, I knew I was in for it. But not if I got out first, not if I got out fast. I had to do it. So, as I made my way numbly to Spanish, I came up with a plan, a plan to keep my distance from Edward Masen and still save him from all the horrors in the world. Though I had to come to realize I couldn't protect him from everything. I was going to let him home today, wasn't I? I even offered to drive him home, to his own personal hell.
I bumped into Jasper in the hall, literally. He took me in his arms and whispered. ''Calm, Bella, you can't help them if you can't help yourself, your memory's.''
He let go of me when he finished speaking. And walked away, I glared after him. He couldn't just say that and walk away. But he did, it happened.
So I was left there, standing in the hallway, just a few steps short of the Spanish room. When I let my memory's take over, something I hadn't done in two years. I had the image, Edward's dad, throwing a plate at Alice, though the image quickly changed, and it wasn't their dad.
But mine.
But that's all I allowed myself to remember, his face, angry and red. His chocolate brown eyes, my old eyes, his slightly greying hair, all features distorted into his one angry image of him. The image of him the night I died.
The night Jasper found me.
The night I found out what real pain was.
This was all on the night my dad lost control, I mean, he lost it a lot, but this time he went too far.
I skipped Spanish that day, I had to. When lunch came I made sure Edward and Alice used the money I gave them for food, they did-we didn't sit with them, but then again, they didn't sit with us either. I felt him staring though, I felt like I could always feel him staring, even when he wasn't.
I only spoke to him in biology when necessary, but I didn't try holding conversation, he didn't either, which hurt a little, I don't care if I was being a hypocrite, it still hurt.
Gym went much the same, I spoke to Alice some, but not to Edward. I wanted to. I felt empty, I couldn't explain it, and I just knew I'd be feeling it a lot for the next while.
This feeling of emptiness carried with me wherever I went, even when I was lying on my unused bad listing to my favourite playlist, even my favourite music couldn't help me.
I closed my eyes under the covers, giving off the illusion of sleep, and it was times like this I wished I could sleep the most, the times when I didn't want to think.
But no matter how much of a relaxed state I slipped into, his name kept slipping through my thoughts.
Edward.
You do not know how long it took me to upload this chapter, my laptop internet is gone and I've had to upload this from my phone, never again. Anyway please review, I'll update Thursday then, see you then! ;)xxx
-BATTM
