YEAR SEVEN

Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54004.2

Our "emergency" senior staff meeting was held in the mess hall, in the early morning hours of the day. Seven went to the captain, saying she'd had what the Doc first diagnosed as a dream. Except it wasn't. With all the changes in her life since she came aboard Voyager, she hadn't recalled something which once had been very important to her. She explained it wasn't totally unexpected, since she never remembered what happened in Unimatrix Zero when she was an active drone. She only "went there" in her mind when she was regenerating.

All the drones who had the rare mutation allowing them to "visit" what was, in its way, a virtual reality location, never remembered the place when they were awake. Only one in a million drones, apparently have this mutation. While in Unimatrix Zero, they're able to be individuals for a short time again. Axum, a drone who had known her when she'd visited the place while she was still Borg, had managed to summon her. Since she no longer came once she'd been freed from the Collective, he reasoned he might be able to utilize the frequency the drones used to visit Unimatrix Zero while they regenerated to contact her. It worked. Her "dream" was actually a visit to this secret place. While there, the drones look like they did before assimilation, wear casual clothes, and enjoy a social life for a part of every day. They even call themselves by their real names. Everyone who knows Seven calls her Annika there. Apparently she visited Unimatrix Zero for the entire eighteen years of her life she was a drone. Since children who are in maturation chambers visit the place, Annika must have literally grown up there.

The drones need Seven/Annika now because their numbers have been shrinking. The Borg Queen recently discovered the existence of their refuge. She sees it as a threat to her rule. Drones have been dying. They want Seven to help save them, and she wants to do it.

It sounded damn dangerous to me, and I said as much at the meeting. The captain must have detected a chance to damage the Queen's control over her minions in some way. Tuvok offered to help Captain Janeway visit this place herself, through a Vulcan mind technique called "bridging of the minds." He would meld with Captain Janeway and Seven simultaneously while Seven was regenerating. He claimed he would be aware of what was happening and could pull them out of the meld and wake up Seven if necessary.

I chill ran through me as the captain and Seven agreed to accept Tuvok's offer. I'm not one to indulge myself in fantasies that I have any precognitive abilities. That was Kes' shtick. Maybe it's simply because we know the Borg are in this area, because of their destruction of the colony on the asteroid, that the situation makes me so wary. The colony's destruction is a fact, and it would make any sane person nervous.

When it comes to the Borg, I know the captain isn't always completely sane. With her, it's personal. Add in the possibility of bloodying the Borg Queen's nose, and I'm profoundly uneasy about this whole gambit. I hope I'm being silly, but I'm afraid I'm not.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54007.6

That stroll through Unimatrix Zero with Seven apparently impressed the captain no end. Chakotay made the announcement this morning that we're going to try to stop the Borg Queen from wrecking the sanctuary only a relative handful of Borg drones can visit to remember who they once were. We need to move quickly, because while the captain was doing a virtual walkabout with Seven and talking to Axum (who in normal life is Five of Twelve - secondary adjunct of Trimatrix Nine Four Two), Borg drones who were not normal visitors arrived and attacked them. (Later, Chakotay told Harry and me that the captain was swinging a bat'leth she'd gotten in there somehow, defending the Unimatrix Zero drones. Why am I not surprised?)


Personal Log Addendum

We had a planning meeting for the invasion of the Borg cube. I'm even more upset now than I was when I first heard about this crazy idea.

The Doc and B'Elanna have modified the nanovirus Axum designed to hide the identity of the drones with the mutation that allows them to visit their hideout. If the Borg Queen can't find them, she can't destroy them. He'd given the formula to Seven to distribute in some way so it can spread throughout Borgdom. Captain Janeway had Doc tweak the formula. The Doc's version will nullify the cortical inhibitors in those drones with the mutation. They'll remember Unimatrix Zero after they've awakened. She wants the drones with the mutation to form a "resistance movement" within the Borg, which she believes will weaken the Hive.

We've located a Borg cube on sensors. Unfortunately, it's one of the big battleships of the Borg, a Class Four tactical vessel, heavily armed. The only place to introduce this nanovirus is in the cube's central plexus, which is protected by multi-regenerative security grids. Seven feels the captain would be detected long before she got into this central plexus. That's the only place the virus can be deployed, since once it's introduced, the nanovirus will invade the entire Collective through its communications network. That's how the Borg stay together as one entity. It's the source of the Queen's control over the Hive.

The captain still wants to give it a shot, but thanks to Chakotay, she won't be going alone. Tuvok and B'Elanna both insisted on being included. The captain didn't want them along, but her First Officer made it clear that having company when they invade Borg territory is the only way he'll continue to support her plan. So she said okay.

B'Elanna and I spent time readying the Delta Flyer for the mission. We had the chance to repair it since the crash on the Bronze Age world, but I don't have much hope we'll get it back after this away mission. I just hope to get B'Elanna back. I told her I was considering sabotaging the helm so the Flyer wouldn't even get out of the launch bay doors. She replied she would have to put me on report then, and "You might lose that new pip of yours." I responded, "It would be a small price to pay."

She smiled. I hope she realizes how sincerely I meant it. I'm not one to say those "I love you" words, but B'Elanna seems to recognize when I say it in other ways. I'm so worried. I want her back. I need her, more than I ever thought I'd ever need anyone. Sending her into such danger, when I'm stuck on Voyager and unable to protect her, will be agonizing. But that's Starfleet. We have to go along with our orders, no matter how bad it makes us feel.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54010.3

Just as I expected, the Delta Flyer was destroyed when it approached the cube closely enough for the away team to transport aboard the Borg vessel. Voyager maintained a steady barrage of weapon's fire to distract the Hive from the Flyer's stealth approach, but as we predicted, it wasn't enough to protect the shuttle. She was a good little ship, and if we receive the great blessing of surviving this crazy mission, I hope we can build a new Flyer, even better that our prototype was. But that's in the future. I can only hope we'll all live so long.

Once we received confirmation the plan had worked through the Doc's monitoring of their synapses, we sped out of range to repair our ship. It's not in great shape right now. We've got lots to repair before we make our planned rescue attempt of the away team, and no B'Elanna to work any miracles. I hope we can manage to fix Voyager in time.

End Personal Log


Personal Log Addendum

We expected to pick up the away team after they'd spent two hours on the cube, if the plan had gone as anticipated. At the two and a half hour mark, I went into the captain's ready room and, in my position as Acting First Officer, recommended to Acting Captain Chakotay that we pull the away team out now. He said no. I got a bit huffy, but Chakotay wouldn't relent.

Then he said, in a somewhat offhand manner, that a First Officer could get in" big trouble for talking to a captain like that." I told him I'd "learned from the best."

I couldn't ignore the feeling that conversations just like this have happened often in the past between Captain Janeway and Chakotay. I wonder if he realizes just how much he sounded like the captain at that moment?

When Tuvok's synaptic passages became problematic, Chakotay told me he presumed I would agree to getting in close enough to try to transport our people out. I certainly did. Harry couldn't get a lock on them, however. The shielding around the central plexus was too strong for us to get hold of them. Then the Doc notified Chakotay and Seven to come to Sick Bay. There was "something they needed to see."

Seven told me later that a hologram of the captain, dressed in her normal uniform, appeared in Sick Bay. She said the Borg Queen had offered a "compromise." Unimatrix Zero could no longer exist. Seven was aghast, but Chakotay understood the real message. The drones hiding out there had to leave, because if they didn't, they'd be discovered and killed when the Queen destroyed Unimatrix Zero. Seven went in to warn anyone left to escape while they could.

I was in the command chair on the bridge when a Borg sphere appeared. At first I thought the Borg Queen had called in reinforcements and we were goners for sure. Then we received a communication from the sphere, from the Borgified Klingon Commander Korak. He'd taken command of the sphere and would work with us to rescue our people. We finally had a real chance to rescue B'Elanna, the captain, and Tuvok.

Our joint attack began. The shields at one point on the cube began to weaken, and we used that break to transport our away team out of the cube, seconds before the cube itself blew up. We can't be sure, of course, but we don't believe Voyager or Korak's sphere were responsible for the cube's destruction. We didn't have that much fire power. That tactical cube was heavily armed and had unbelievably dense shielding. I suspect the Borg Queen destroyed it herself, in an attempt to kill her adversary, our Voyager Queen, Captain Janeway.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54014.2

I spent some time with B'Elanna in the early hours of the morning, right before I went to the bridge to take a shift in the command chair. With Captain Janeway still in Sick Bay recovering, for the time being I'm still Acting First Officer.

B'Elanna's recovering well from the surgery to remove the implants. A few had to be left in, because the assimilation nanoprobes were able to do their job so efficiently in the amount of time she was "a Borg," Doc is reluctant to take them out. I teased her, saying she was now "my Borg Babe as well as my feisty Klingon sweetheart." She gave me a tender glare and shot back, "Watch out or I'll punch your lights out, Helmboy." Her dark chocolate eyes were sparkling with amusement, so I realized she was joking even before she began to smile. I know she'll be okay, just from that exchange.

I told her that the Shuttlebay crew of Myers, Andres, and Joseph were already setting up shop, under Seven's, Harry's, and my supervision, to begin building the Delta Flyer II. I'm to help out "in my spare time." Like I'll have any until B'Elanna and the captain are back on duty! I want to be here with her, every waking moment I have when I'm not on duty. I didn't get a chance to tell her that, because her eyelids got heavy just then and she drifted back to sleep.

I know. Sleep is the best thing for her now as she recovers. I sat with her for a few minutes before I had to report to the bridge and wondered how many more times I was going to come so close to losing her. I'd lost my "other love," as B'Elanna always puts it. The Delta Flyer had been reduced to fragments. Tuvok, the captain, and B'Elanna almost didn't make it onto the Borg cube, let alone off again. It was a very close thing.

Too close.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54014.9

Although Tuvok is taking longer to recover than either B'Elanna or the captain, the Doc has pronounced all three out of danger. We found out B'Elanna created the spot in the shields that allowed us to transport them off the cube. She punched out a zombie/drone and fiddled with the shield controls to weaken them there. After Tuvok struck B'Elanna, knocking her out when he was under the Borg Queen's spell and captured the captain, the team of drones following him made the mistake of leaving B'Elanna lying in the central plexus. When she woke up, she immediately did what she could to free the away team. If she hadn't messed with the shields just then, I think our away team wouldn't have been rescued before the cube blew up. My B'Elanna, in full Borg regalia, was a hero.

The Doc's neural suppressant worked fine for B'Elanna and Captain Janeway, but it wore off from Tuvok soon enough for the Queen to turn him into a zombie/drone for a while. If we ever need to use the stuff again (and I hope we never get so close to a Borg vessel again to need to), Tuvok may not be a good candidate for that away team. We need to test it on crew members of other races to evaluate which of our folks it works well for as is, and who would need either a higher dose or shouldn't be treated with it at all. I'll suggest it to the Doc the next time I take a shift in Sick Bay. That won't be until our senior staff is at full complement again. I'm still Acting First Officer at present, so I have no time for Sick Bay shifts now. The Doc is not a happy camper about that, but hey. We're all here, aren't we? That's good enough for me right now.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54017.7

Seven has been very subdued the past few days. I think she misses Axum. She hasn't said anything to me about him, but the Doc filled me in. He told me more than he meant to, though, because I see Doc is still carrying a torch for Seven. She sees him as her friend, and that's all. Apparently in the real world, Axum is on a Borg scout vessel guarding the border of Fluidic Space, in the far reaches of the Beta Quadrant. Seven had always hoped she could meet him in person. It's not very likely, now she knows how far away he is from her. Maybe things will work out for them some day. The part of Doc's communication which threw me was in learning the Borg are dug into the outer reaches of the Beta Quadrant, as well as infesting a good part of the Delta Quadrant. There are more of them around than I had ever imagined, and I'd already realized there must be billions of drones.

I'm back holding only one post, Chief Helmsman of Voyager. Captain Janeway is on the job again. I heard she teased Chakotay about turning into her after she read my "Acting First Officer's Official Logs." He's taking it in good humor. So I was right that differences in opinion between the two of them have been expressed in her ready room on other occasions!

I've noticed the Fair Haven program hasn't been running much lately. Everyone's too busy with repairs and chores like rebuilding the Flyer to spend much time there, I guess. The one time I spent an hour in the pub, I heard talk of "revolution" in the air. Apparently the Borg resistance movement and civil conflict within the Hive has even affected our photonic R & R crew mates.

Tuvok has been spending a lot of hours meditating. He's still not back on duty. I'm scheduled to take a few night shifts in command for the next few days to cover for him. Harry will take the others. Harry claims I'm bucking for promotion to full lieutenant. Poor Harry! If we don't get back home soon, the captain will really need to consider pushing him up to Lieutenant, junior grade, at the very least. Maybe the next time we're in contact with Pathfinder, the subject can be broached to the brass at Starfleet Command. I'll hint around about it the next time I talk to Chakotay during the change of shifts. He'll probably tell me that sitting in the command chair is going to my head; but really, our eager beaver ensign deserves a promotion if anyone does!

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54045.9

We enjoyed a ship wide activity tonight. Ship wide, because two performances of "The Haunting of Deck 12" were given, once during Alpha Shift, for those working Beta and Gamma shifts, and tonight during Beta Shift, for the rest of us. Everyone who wanted to was able to see it. I understand the Doc recorded the performances, too, so we can view the show again at any time.

The play was written by the Borg kids and Naomi, assisted by Neelix and me. It retold the incident from a few months ago, when we had to power down the ship to let our "passenger" on Deck 12 slip away into his new home. Our nebula critter had lived on Deck 12 in an environment specially adapted for him for several months, since before the Borg kids came to live on Voyager. Only the highest security staff had access, but there had been talk of the "ghost" on Deck 12 amongst the crew ever since he arrived. The truth is, we'd destabilized his home in a J-class nebula when we collected materials from it to use as a power source. We never knew he was there until after we'd completed the collection. Voyager suffered power surges and other problems, tipping us off we had somehow sucked an entity inside the ship along with the radiogenic particles. We went back to where the nebula had been, but we found we'd inadvertently caused it to dissipate. It was only right to keep the critter safe until we found him a replacement home, hence his temporary digs on Deck 12.

Naomi had been around when all this happened, but Sam managed to keep the details away from her daughter. When we'd powered down before releasing the entity into his new home, Neelix was assigned the task of keeping all the kids calm while it took place. He gave them a fairly accurate account of our mission and the reason for it, but he told it as a kind of campfire tale to keep them from becoming too frightened. At first, when they asked him if it was true, he claimed it was "just a story." Later on, when the kids discovered it was all true, they decided to work on this play as a sort of school project. And I think it turned out just great.

Neelix portrayed himself. He sat at the side of the designated stage, with a plasma lantern shining eerily on his face in the darkened mess hall. The audience stood in for the listening "kids" during the play. Naomi played the part of Captain Janeway to perfection. (She even has the right color hair!) Mezoti took on the role of Seven of Nine. Needless to say, she was "perfection," too. Azan and Rebi played Tuvok and Harry, respectively. Icheb took on the rest of the roles, including Chakotay, the Doc, and me. B'Elanna's suggested Icheb use masks to let the audience know which role he was playing at any one time, which he could switch in second. She thought it worked well in Kelis' play, allowing one actor to play multiple roles without any confusion. It worked fine. When Neelix had lines to perform, he spoke them from the side of the stage.

The cutest portrayal had to be Aimee Gilmore's. She was dressed in a mini-sized Engineering uniform to "play" B'Elanna. Her mother, dressed all in black like puppeteers do to keep attention away from themselves, carried her around and spoke the lines whenever B'Elanna had anything to say. Aimee was in a really good mood when I saw her. She smiled constantly, and with "Klingon ridges" drawn in make-up pencil on her forehead, she was a tiny B'Elanna clone. It was fun to see the kids play us. They did a great job. Everyone was charmed. I think even Tuvok looked less stony-faced than usual.

It was an uplifting story. We certainly didn't mean to mess up that life form's home, but when we did, we owed it to him to help him survive until we could transfer him to a new one. And after our recent battle with the Borg cube, which we couldn't prevent the kids from knowing, the play was a good way to allay any remaining fears they might have, from the battle or from our "ghost." It also gave a lift for everyone's morale to relive an adventure that's in the mold of the preferred type of Starfleet mission: to experience new worlds, meet new species, and to go places where no one has gone before. Transporting a gaseous entity to his new home site seems to qualify in all three phases!

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54050.4

We're finally getting close to getting the new Delta Flyer operational. We need to complete a few more "tweaks" to it, and we have to run some final tests of the various systems first, but then the Delta Flyer II should be ready for a trial flight in space. Sometime in the next few days we hope we can take her out for a spin.

I can barely wait!

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54056.6

Am I ever in trouble! I forgot all about the big holodeck weekend B'Elanna and I were planning. Gedi Prime has surpassed Risa as THE vacation hotspot, and we have the holodeck program available to be able to take advantage. B'Elanna has been pulling all sorts of strings so we can have an uninterrupted weekend of fun. And then this race comes up. Like a complete airhead, our plans for a weekend alone completely slipped my mind in my eagerness for a little competition.

Harry and I were out in the new Delta Flyer, giving it a final shakedown cruise. A cute girl in a souped-up shuttle challenged us to a drag race. Her vessel had some technical problems, so we brought her and her ship to Voyager. She told us all about the Antarean Interstellar Rally Race. It's actually a joint effort, celebrating a peace accord in this region of space. I got pretty excited about the prospect of racing the Flyer in the rally, and the captain agreed it was just the thing to exhibit Starfleet principles of cooperation and fair play. She gave us permission to complete modifications to the Flyer so we could qualify for the run.

I was on Cloud Nine until the Doc brought me down when he reminded me of my weekend with B'Elanna. I felt terrible. I was sure she was going to blow up about my forgetting all about it. I was prepared to nobly step aside if I had to. I wanted to race, but Harry was capable of putting on a good show. Baytart would have been an adequate co-pilot. It would have killed me to do it, but for the sake of my relationship with B'Elanna, I'd have given it up.

I could hardly believe B'Elanna was would be so understanding. She said the holodeck would always be there for us, but this race wouldn't. I told her I don't deserve her, and really, I don't. She's everything I ever wanted. How amazing it is to be thrown into the Delta Quadrant with her, so we could meet and have a life together! She's wonderful. And she's willing to let me race! I'm the luckiest guy in the world. All the worlds!

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54061.4

The race is over. Don't tell the captain, because I'm sure she wouldn't agree. Even though we lost the race, I'm a big winner!

My co-pilot and I won the first leg of the race. My co-pilot B'Elanna Torres, that is. She convinced Harry to let her take his place as my second because that way we would still get our weekend together. We did "scrape shields" a few times. She wasn't quite as prepared about the course as I would have liked her to be, but all things considered, since we won that leg, we did okay.

That second leg, however. That one was a doozy, in more ways than one. We had several disagreements while we were running the race, and somehow, it turned into a referendum on the status of our relationship. B'Elanna somehow hadn't realized just how much I love her. I guess I do have to look in the mirror for the cause. I'm not one to say the actual words, "I love you," very often, but she knows the reason for that. We've been over it. And she's usually very good at picking up on my alternate ways of telling her how much she means to me, like when she was getting ready to be Borgified and I told her I'd be happy to lose my rank again if it would keep her safe (or whatever it is I said. I can't remember precisely, because it still gets to me whenever I think how close I came to losing her forever).

Anyway, it's a good thing I shut down the engines when I did to clear the air with her, because one of the other pilots - Irina, the cute one who told us about the race in the first place - had rigged the fuel converter she had so kindly lent us to blow up when we hit the finish line. If not for Harry warning us with that old-fashioned Morse Code we used in the Captain Proton program, hundreds of people would have been killed. That multi-planet peace accord would have been blown to smithereens as well, which was Irina's ultimate goal. As it was, the viridian isotopes from the fuel converter she'd lent us for the Flyer got into the warp core. It was about to blow, and we had a lot of trouble ejecting it. I flew the Flyer into a nearby J-class nebula, which would absorb the force of the blast and protect Voyager and the folks at the finish line. Just in time, B'Elanna was able to eject the warp core. I managed to get the Flyer out of the nebula on impulse drive just ahead of the explosion.

Oh, yeah. Almost forgot to mention another momentous thing about the race (well, I didn't really forget, because it's the reason I'm making this log entry in the first place). I asked B'Elanna to marry me when the shuttle was about to blow up. I'm not sure why we can only make big leaps in our relationship when something blows up, or if a cave roof starts falling on our heads or something, but there you are. That's apparently what it takes. While we were flying back to Voyager, I asked her again, because she'd been too busy to respond to me while we were in the middle of the crisis. She was surprised. She said she thought I only asked her because I thought we were goners. I quickly cured her of that supposition.

The captain decided we can spend a few more days here, participating in the festivities. The worlds of the accord are very appreciative about how we protected them and served as a neutral base for the race. The captain is peeved we didn't win the race, of course. She's competitive to the Nth degree! However, even the grim ex-fighter pilot Assan came up to me after we got back to our ship and complimented me. He won, so he could afford to be magnanimous, of course, but he said that by our actions protecting the spectators and the other racing crews, we showed there were more ways of winning than receiving a trophy for coming across a finish line first.

Since we're going to be here a few more days, we'll have time for a more relaxing "weekend away." It's going to be a honeymoon instead of just a weekend of relaxation. We decided not to wait on the marriage thing. I'm sitting here in my quarters now. The wedding ceremony will take place roughly an hour from now. Other than Irina, who's in custody and in transit to her home world to answer for her crimes, the other racing teams will be present at the wedding, along with the race officials. Our mess hall is decorated with replicated flowers created by our kids. B'Elanna and I decided to wear dress uniforms. We don't need any fancy wedding gear, but we replicated outfits for the wedding party members who aren't officially in Starfleet and don't have dress uniforms to wear. Naomi and Mezoti are our "flower girl/bridesmaids" and Azan and Rebi are our ring bearers. Harry is best man. Sue Nicoletti is maid of honor. Chakotay is "giving the bride away." The captain, of course, is officiating.

I can't say I'm not a little nervous, but I'm mainly exhilarated. Losing the race meant nothing. I've won the biggest prize of all, the love of my life, my B'Elanna, and now we get to make it official.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54070.9

The captain's wedding gift was moving us to slightly larger quarters. We're no long on Deck Nine, Section Twelve. Several of our former neighbors have expressed their happiness (more like relief) that we've gone up to Deck Five. We're closer to Sick Bay now. The Doc made a snide remark about being closer if I need any repairs from lovemaking, Klingon-style. I just smiled. I'll get back at him somehow, but I'm not going to telegraph it to him before I do.

Married life is great. Chakotay said HIS gift will be to keep our desire to be together in mind when he makes up duty rosters, so we can be off duty at the same time as much as possible. We may not be the only couple who decides to tie the knot, if that becomes generally known throughout the ship. I know Tabor and Jor are really, really close.

Anyway, it's bedtime. I'd better cut this off before I record something more intimate than I usually include in you, Personal Log. Nighty-night! Have a good one! I know I will.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54088.2

Mail call! I didn't get any letters from home this time, but the captain said her official communications included a wish for everyone's well-being on Voyager from my father, and especially for his son. I wrote back a very brief message, all we had room for with all the official communiques the captain sent and the letters others had already filed for delivery "as soon as possible." I announced my wedding to B'Elanna to my parents and asked them to forward word to B'Elanna's family. Hopefully, when the next communication arrives, I'll hear from my mother. It's great to get word, even indirectly, from my father, but it would be nice to get a letter from my Mom, too.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54102.6

Strange days. Very strange days. The Maquis staged a mutiny, six years after they came on board Voyager, even though everyone has been getting along great for years. The really weird thing was how it came about. Our stoic Vulcan tactical officer, Lieutenant Commander Tuvok, instigated the uprising. Even B'Elanna joined in. Chakotay. Ayala. Tabor. Jor. Yosa. I think there were seven or eight others who joined the mutiny, too, but none of them were in their right minds when they did it. Literally.

When we received letters from home a couple of weeks ago, Tuvok received one from his son. Buried within that letter was a hidden message he received without ever realizing it, from a mad vedek named Teero Anaydis. Chakotay later filled us in. This vedek was so Out There, even the Maquis threw him out for his fanaticism. He insisted mind control was the way to recruit intelligence agents. To this vedek, the Maquis uprising was a "Holy War." While Tuvok was a member of Chakotay's crew on the Val Jean, this vedek got hold of our Vulcan friend and instilled a secret mind control message within his brain. In the process, he realized who Tuvok really was. Why he didn't blow the whistle on Tuvok the spy then, I guess we may never know. However, when Tuvok heard the subliminal message, which was the code to awaken his mind control orders from Teero, he started mind-melding crew members on Voyager, infecting them with the "holy war" message as well. He had no idea he was the one attacking the Maquis members of the crew. Like the Borg of Unimatrix Zero, when awake Tuvok had no memory of it.

We didn't know any of this when crew members were attacked and put into some sort of comatose state, beginning on Stardate 54090. I recorded something about it in my official logs, when I was working with the Doc, but I never included anything about this in you, Personal Log. What made this all the more ominous was that only Maquis crew members were being put into this state. I was really upset when B'Elanna became unconscious. The remaining former Maquis all pointed their fingers at the Starfleet crew, saying someone must have it in for them. Chell's hypothesis was that through Pathfinder, orders had been given to the captain by Starfleet to take out all of the Maquis. Ridiculous, of course, but when paranoia reigns supreme, that sort of conspiracy theory seems all too possible.

And of course, in one way, Chell was right. It was a Starfleet officer who was doing this to them, since it was Tuvok. He was almost totally out of his head by the time he realized he was, at the same time, both investigator and perpetrator. In the grip of the mind control imposed by this Teero, Tuvok recited the code words for the Maquis to take over Voyager. The Starfleet crew as a whole was locked away, along with Seven and the kids. Chakotay decided to drop us all off at a nearby M-class planet, to become "the first Federation colonizers in the Delta Quadrant."

He didn't, because Tuvok's disciplined powers of the mind finally brought him back to awareness of reality. He attacked Chakotay again with another mind meld, but this time his purpose was to bring Chakotay back to himself, too. Eventually my blushing bride and the other Maquis mutineers received the mind meld treatment to snap the control Teero's code words had on them.

There's a lot about this which simply makes no sense. The Maquis movement has been dead for three years, at least. What good would it do to have a Maquis ship out here in the Delta Quadrant, 30,000 light years or so away from Earth? Chakotay was trying to run Voyager on a crew of about twelve, as far as I can tell, because one positive thing about this incident is that other than the dozen crew who received that mind meld from Tuvok, NONE of the remaining 23 Maquis joined the mutiny. They stayed loyal to Janeway and were locked up with the rest of us. When we landed on the Briori world five years ago, the captain worried that many of us would decide to stay there. Chakotay and the captain figured close to a hundred crew members were required in order for them to resume the journey home. Even if all the Maquis had joined the mutiny, along with the Equinox Five (who aren't too eager to get home), systems would start to fail fairly quickly for lack of staff to maintain them properly. And when you consider all the crazy species we've encountered out here who are only too glad to eat you for lunch, how long could they possibly last without the rest of us?

It's almost as if this Vedek Teero wanted to punish our Maquis for surviving when so many had died. Or maybe he was crazy enough to want to destroy them because he was mad at the movement for throwing him out of the Maquis. Ours were the only ones he could get to at this point, because he'd done mind-control prep with Tuvok. There's no doubt Starfleet's loss of Voyager, since our survival up to now is known in the Alpha Quadrant, would have been extremely detrimental to the Federation. Perhaps that was enough motive for him.

I could probably have managed to survive on the planet they'd picked for the "colony," but I'd have been miserable without B'Elanna. When she did snap out of the trance, she was very apologetic. You don't see a Klingon grovel for forgiveness too often, but I saw it then. I didn't take advantage. Well, we did have some glorious make-up sex, but that's all I plan to say about that here. The important thing is, we're back. B'Elanna and me. The senior staff and all our crew mates. We celebrated with a big double feature in the old Palace Theatre in Chicago, circa 1932. "The Attack of the Lobster People," and "Revenge of the Creature" (because B'Elanna and I never got to see it when I first brought her into the movie holodeck program.

Oh, and I made sure she didn't get rid of that leather outfit of hers she went back to wearing as a Maquis. Talk about hot. Yowza!

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54129.4

Today was a sad day for a lot of us, especially Seven.

It was a good day for Azan and Rebi. Last week we discovered they belonged to a race called the Wysanti. Once we possessed that information, the captain discovered we were not far from their home world. She contacted the leaders, who confirmed one of their colonies was attacked by the Borg three years ago. There were only a few survivors. Those that did were off-planet at the time of the attack. Miraculously, two of those survivors turned out to be the maternal grandparents of Azan and Rebi. They were overjoyed to find out we'd rescued their grandchildren from the Borg.

After our experience with Icheb's parents, the captain was much more careful before committing to give the kids up. It was a remarkable coincidence. This time, everything checked out. Seven's analysis of the data node from the wrecked cube confirmed the twins had been stuffed into maturation chambers after they were captured from a settlement in a system about twenty light years from the Wysanti's. The Borg stole all the technology from the original settlement, along with the people in that immediate area. Of the three thousand or so people actually in residence at the time of the attack, less than a hundred were later found hiding in a system of caves, miles away from the main encampment.

The grandparents and their only daughter's family had been among the first settlers. When everything seemed stable at the colony, the leaders dispatched the grandparents to the home planet to recruit a new group of immigrants. Mazani and Arebi were not there when the Borg struck. After discovering the extent of the disaster, the Wysanti were devastated. They abandoned their plans for the system and returned all the survivors to their home planet.

Once the Doc confirmed the DNA match to Azan and Rebi, the grandparents begged the captain to return the children to them. It really is a miracle we were able to find the twin's relatives, and I was happy for the twins and the grandparents. I was less happy when I learned they wanted to adopt Mezoti, too. I understand the captain's reasoning for allowing them to take her. After we notified the Norcadians we had rescued Mezoti from the Borg, their attitude was, "Great. When we find out who she belongs to, we'll let you know." The captain had to reach out several times to find out how the search was going. One would think that even if they couldn't find Mezoti's relatives, they'd be willing to bring her back home to live among her own people. After the fifth time our contact claimed they'd made no progress finding anyone for her, the captain decided we would keep her until they contacted us again. And of course, Mezoti was still with us when Azan and Rebi's grandparents asked her to stay with them.

I'm very sad about losing Mezoti (even if she did shock me on their Borg cube). She seems to be the sharpest of all the Borg kids, other than Icheb. When you consider she was the youngest, other than little Aimee Gilmore, that's even more impressive. Seven and Icheb are both very upset Mezoti said she'd prefer to stay with Azan and Rebi's family rather than stay with them, but I guess it makes sense. Mezoti loves bugs, and there aren't that many on Voyager for her to study (other than the occasional computer glitch, but that's not the kind of bug Mezoti enjoys). She'll have lots more opportunities observing them if she's living on a planet. Seven told me Mazani, the grandmother, got all misty-eyed at one point when speaking with Seven about why she wants to adopt Mezoti. With her intelligence and inquisitiveness, Mezoti reminds Mazani of her lost daughter, Azan and Rebi's mom. To have a family group to raise, after losing their only child to the Borg, is a blessing. It's hard to counter that kind of declaration.

I can see Captain Janeway's position, too. While the Borg do infest this area of space, Voyager isn't exactly the safest place to raise a kid, either. Aimee has been adopted by Marla, so she's really her daughter now, just as much as Naomi is Sam's. The less said about Icheb's parents, the better. Besides, he's grown up enough to make his own choices, and he's made his clear. Although the grandparents said they were willing to adopt Icheb, and Mezoti begged him to stay with them, too, Icheb says he already has a family here on Voyager.

So today the three kids made the rounds to say good-bye. Mezoti thanked B'Elanna and me for letting her be a bridesmaid, along with Naomi, at our wedding. "The wedding was fun," she said. Since Mezoti had to learn what fun was when she first came on board, I was very happy to hear her say that. There's definitely hope for her to live a normal life! I hope the Wysanti populace will be able to look beyond her remaining Borg appliances and see the great kid she is.

Azan and Rebi thanked me for the time I took them out in the Flyer and let each of them have a turn at the navigational controls. They're not very talkative boys, but they took to flying like naturals. I mentioned this to their grandfather Arebi. He said he'd make sure they had the opportunity to work on those skills, since he himself is a pilot. Arebi admitted he's still reeling from this turn of events. He'd lost all hope of finding his daughter's family before Voyager contacted the Wysanti and told them Azan and Rebi were alive and well. The twins were still toddlers when they were taken by the Borg. After more than two years in maturation chambers, they now look and act like preteenagers. He said it will take some getting used to, seeing them so tall and mature-looking when they were barely out of babyhood the last time he'd seen them. Arebi is especially happy he can help his grandchildren grow up and learn about their mother. "My daughter will live on through them," he told me. I didn't get any bad vibes at all from either of the grandparents, and, more importantly, Seven said she didn't get any, either (unlike the time she left Icheb with his parents).

I know I'm going to miss Mezoti, but I wish them all the best.

End Personal Log


Personal Log Addendum

I was called to Sick Bay right after dictating the previous entry. Seven is in trouble. Her cortical node is failing. If we can't find a way to fix it, she'll die. After losing his Borg "siblings" today, Icheb would take her loss very hard. I've gotta go to help the Doc now.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54136.7

The captain, Tuvok and I traveled to a Borg debris field we'd passed by several days ago in the area of the Yontassa Expanse, looking to recover a cortical node from one of the dead drone corpses to replace Seven's failing one. The captain and Tuvok found one that seems operational, but some thugs tried to muscle us out of the way. They claimed the debris field was theirs. Hey, I didn't see any "No trespassing" signs! There was a short altercation before I was able to transport them back to the Delta Flyer and we sped away. We're headed back to Voyager now, at the Delta Flyer's maximum speed.

End Personal Log

Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54143.3

The replacement node from the dead drone won't work. We tried simulations of the surgery twelve times on the holodeck, and every single one came out the same way. We lost Seven. She claims only a cortical node from a living drone will work. Apparently the part shuts down very quickly after the death of a drone. Disconnection itself is tough on drones, as we learned when we heard about the confusion and panic Seven experienced after most of her unimatrix died in a crash eight years ago. When Seven was disconnected from the Hive three years ago, in the middle of the battle with the Fluidians (Species 8472), the Doc intervened surgically to allow her to separate from the Hive. Seven thinks it's possible the reason she's had trouble with this node a couple of times, and why it's failing now, has something to do with the stresses from those other disconnections. For us to remove a cortical node from a live drone would mean killing it. Zombie drone or not, the Doc won't hear of killing one to get a spare part. I wouldn't agree to do it, either.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54151.9

Icheb forced the issue. His cortical node was functioning and in good shape. Since he's younger and was never fully assimilated, Icheb figured he could survive without one as long as the Doc completed some genetic resequencing along with surgery to remove the part. When Seven refused to go along with his offer, Icheb used the regeneration unit to disconnect his node himself. He would not let us turn it back on. He said if Seven could refuse the part, he could refuse to use it, too. Rather than lose both of them, we did the surgery. Seven will be fine. She's awake, and the cortical node is functioning exactly the way it should. Icheb will need at least another week to fully recover, but it's clear he was right about not needing a cortical node to survive. His genetic resequencing plan has worked well. We don't think Icheb will need to regenerate. With his cortical node gone, it's possible he can't regenerate.

I see what Seven meant when she said Icheb might have volunteered to deliver the pathogen to the Borg if his parents had bothered to ask him to do it. He's a great kid. Pretty selfless. But if he had, we would have lost Seven as well as Icheb. Both are unique individuals. Maybe saying they're "more unique" than the average individual says it better. Everyone is unique, but once someone is taken by the Collective, that uniqueness manifests itself in very unusual ways if that person is freed from Borg control.

He'll be a real asset to Starfleet, too. Before Seven's condition deteriorated badly, she asked the captain to write a letter of recommendation for Icheb to take the Academy entrance exam. Tuvok, who once was an instructor at Starfleet Academy, could tutor him. The captain was happy to write one for Icheb. He's already shown he fits into Starfleet, willing to sacrifice his life for another's if need be. I don't think he'll have any trouble at all with the maxim: "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one."

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54153.4

Seven's malfunctioning cortical node has been taken to Engineering. When a cortical node goes on the fritz in a living drone who's still part of the Collective, a medical drone will replace the part instead of repairing the defective one. Seven says they can't be repaired or replicated. B'Elanna and Harry aren't willing to take that as a given. They reason that replacements must be created outside of a Borg's body in some way, and not simply through the assimilation process, or there wouldn't be a spare for the medical drone to insert. If something happens to the one that's now in Seven's head, we wouldn't have one from Icheb to provide another replacement. Mezoti and the twins are many light years behind us now.

Baby Aimee's node had not yet sufficiently formed to function when she came to us. The Doc was able to remove it without harming the little girl. Doc doesn't throw away any spare Borg parts, and B'Elanna and Harry have decided to work with Aimee's, as well as the malfunctioning one extracted from Seven, to see if a functional spare can be created. If they manage to get one working well enough to keep Seven alive in the future, should the one she has now go kaput, it would be a relief to all of us.

I wasn't surprised Harry would be willing to spend his spare time looking into that. He's always been fond of Seven. When I expressed my amazement to B'Elanna that she'd be agree to participate in a project like this, she told me about a talk she'd had with Seven comparing Sto-Vo-Cor with the Borg's version of an afterlife. Seven was saddened that everything she'd experienced since her disconnection from the Hive would be lost when she died. B'Elanna expressed the opinion that Seven was "memorable" and wouldn't be forgotten by the rest of her "Voyager Collective" if she did die.

This conversation was in Engineering, when Seven hid herself from the Doc while she was "ill." The Doc discovered her there and wanted Seven to vegetate in Sick Bay. B'Elanna stuck up for Seven, telling Doc she'd keep an eye on her to keep Seven from overdoing it. Seven expressed her gratitude, which pleased B'Elanna. One thing that's put B'Elanna off from the "Borg Babe" in the past has been how rude Seven can be. This near-death experience may make her less abrasive. I certainly hope that's true, because I've seen a change in Seven lately myself.

B'Elanna admits she's been able to work much better with Seven over the past few months. That exchange about their beliefs made an even greater impact on her. She agrees that Seven's made a lot of progress. "She's not much for girl talk, though," B'Elanna mused. I knew better than to point out B'Elanna isn't big on it, either. Around that time, the Doc had commented, "Difficult patients flock together." Now I understand what he was talking about!

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54209.9

I was getting very concerned. We were supposed to receive another datastream the other day, and after not receiving one last month, the thought we might go another month without any word from the Alpha Quadrant was ominous. When I met up with him, Harry said we did receive the datastream this time as scheduled, but they'd worked all night without getting anything out of it it. He was heading to Astrometrics to help Seven unravel the message when we spoke. Later on, we heard they were successful.

The reason they'd had so much trouble was that Starfleet sent us a holographic Lieutenant Reginald Barclay! He told us to call him Reg. He was sent to unveil Starfleet's plan to get us home by using a geodesic fold of space, a kind of gateway. He brought technology designed to allow us to accomplish this. Sounds good on paper, but we'd already considered using that sort of anomaly to get us home and concluded it was too dangerous to attempt. Reg assured us all the problems have been solved. We have to beef up our shielding and create a more advanced anti-radiation vaccine first, however. They'll work together to protect us. He says.

Harry was enthusing about tasting his Mom's apple pie next week. I hated to be a wet blanket, but I had to remind him of how our "shortcuts" tended to blow up in our faces. There was Arturis and his slipstream drive Dauntless con, which almost got us assimilated by the Borg. Then there was the giant pitcher plant in space that convinced us we were going to get home via a wormhole, when what it really wanted to do was digest us (and almost did). When we first got to the Delta Quadrant, we discovered that wormhole through which we spoke to a Romulan scientist. Unfortunately, there was a time rift in that wormhole, and we couldn't let him say anything until after Voyager was actually lost in the Delta Quadrant. Unfortunately, the Romulan had died four years before the Caretaker snatched us away. If Telek ever did said anything to anyone about us, they probably thought he was nuts. Despite my attempts to splash cold water on his expectations, Harry refused to be swayed.

I've got to admit, the Reg hologram is fun. He does great impressions of the crew, and he really seems to know what he's doing. Still, I'm not completely sold on the whole deal. My assignment is to plot our course through this huge red giant. The fold is going to be formed inside it, forming our gateway. And that's the rub. There's a LOT of radiation inside that star. It worries me, no matter what Reg says about shield upgrades and enhanced medication. Just when my life is going great with B'Elanna, I don't want to lose everything by a simple miscalculation. I'd prefer to be sure it's going to work the way he says it will before we try anything like that.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54211.6

Poor Harry. We saw him in the mess hall today, getting ready to dig into Neelix's version of Mom's Apple Pie. He was down in the dumps about our failure to get home.

It had to be a hoax of some kind. The Reg hologram grabbed Seven and jumped into an escape pod to try to get to the collapsing geodesic fold gateway before it closed up completely. If he'd been on the up and up, when the opening started closing, he wouldn't have tried to steal Seven. Harry got a transporter lock on both of them in time to save Seven as well as the Doc's mobile emitter, since Reg was using it at the time.

Seven said Reg attacked her when she tried to warn the captain she'd detected several kinds of lethal radiation in the star we hadn't accounted for in our vaccine or shielding upgrades. We couldn't get a clear story out of the Reg hologram about why he did it, either. There was some sort of security lock on his program. B'Elanna and Seven couldn't remove it during their diagnostic, so we deactivated him. I hope we'll find out what really happened in next month's datastream. The truth is, we may never know what it was all about.

B'Elanna and I tried to cheer Harry up. I told him we'd been in touch with an Iconian scientist who said he knew of a transdimensional gateway which would take us anywhere in the galaxy. At first he said he wasn't that gullible, but when B'Elanna said it was true, hope returned. Poor Harry! He really is that gullible. Maybe we were mean to play that joke on him, but that boy has to learn to be more discriminating in what he'll believe!

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54238.9

Since the Doc was away with Seven and Harry on a scientific survey, I got the call about Tuvok's illness. He's seldom sick. When I asked him to come to Sick Bay, he asked if I could come to his quarters instead. When I got there, Tuvok had the classic symptoms of a viral infection: fever, headache, respiratory distress, tremors. When I suggested an anti-flu medication, however, Tuvok said he didn't have an infection. He had a "neurochemical imbalance." This isn't the first time I'd heard that phrase. I remembered it vividly from the time Vorik attacked B'Elanna and tried to make her his mate. I also knew, from my musings when we were stuck in the gravity well eating spiders with Noss, that Tuvok's pon farr was due to come along fairly soon.

Tuvok told me the Doc had made up a medicine they hoped would get him through the pon farr, as long as he maintained a rigorous schedule of meditation. I promised I'd get it for him and give him medical leave for the duration. Tuvok asked me not to let anyone know what was wrong with him. "All I see on my tricorder is a bad case of Tarkalean Flu," I told him as I left.

I hope the treatment works. I do have a back-up plan, based on what the Doc tried once before. It didn't work too well for Vorik, but I hope Tuvok would respond better.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54242.7

I guess I should add that this is the Acting Chief Medical Officer's Personal Log, too. I've been spending as much time distributing meds and bandages as I have at the helm since the Doc went on that away mission with Harry and Seven.

It's clear the plan for Tuvok hasn't worked. He told me the mating instinct in Vulcans actually gets stronger as they age, and now I believe it. Tuvok is almost a hundred years old. (I told him I was glad there was some payoff for all that Vulcan discipline, but he didn't even raise an eyebrow at the crack.) He hasn't been able to meditate his way out of his state of arousal.

I suggested my back-up plan: hologram therapy. It didn't work for Vorik, but since Tuvok has been through pon farr many times with his wife, I thought it had a better chance of success for him. We could use photos of T'Pel to create her holocharacter, to give him a focus for his meditation as well as provide him some physical relief. It's not the perfect solution, obviously, but Tuvok was desperate enough to give it a try.

I did what I consider a tasteful job of dressing the holoprogram with romantic lighting from flickering candles and as accurate a representation of his wife I could manage to create in so short a time. Tuvok entered the program, and I hoped he'd be back to his normal self in no time.

As luck would have it, we were confronted within a few minutes of the program's start by a ship of aliens identifying themselves as the Lokirrim. They accused us of harboring "photonic insurgents." The captain agreed to shut down our holodecks to placate them. Poor Tuvok! "If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have no luck at all . . . etc." You should recognize the song, Personal Log. I played it often enough during my first year on Voyager.

The Lokirrim captain wanted to board Voyager to "inspect" us. The captain was at her growling best when she refused him, but she graciously offered to let the Lokirrim accompany our ship out of their territory. Wisely, he agreed. His ship's weapons are no match for ours. We've been cooperating with them per our agreement, but now we're getting worried about the away team. They haven't checked in with us per protocol, and we have no idea where they are.

Tuvok, stoic that he is, has managed to drag himself into his uniform and is on the bridge now, searching for the Delta Flyer's ion trail. So far, no luck. The captain wants him to leave his station and go back to his quarters to "rest." After so many years together, she knows him well. The last time he had the "Tarkalean Flu" was seven years ago. So far, Tuvok remains at his post. If we can dodge the Lokirrim ship, which is no match for Voyager, maybe we can get Tuvok back into the program with his wife and help him return to normal. So far, the captain is sticking with her agreement with Captain Lokirrim (or whatever his name is). So no holodeck activity for Tuvok until we can leave the Lokirrim behind us.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 52447.1

All is back to normal, more or less. We got a message from Seven/Doc (I'll explain later, Personal Log) and ditched Captain Lokirrim's ship to go to the rescue of our away team. They're back, along with the Delta Flyer. And although we did break our promise to be good little Starfleeters and remain in Captain Lokirrim's company to the borders of Lokirrim space, we might not have made that terrible impression upon them, when all is said and done.

It turned out another Lokirrim patrol vessel had captured our away team, accusing them of the crime of "harboring photonic insurgents" (the Doc). When they inspected the Delta Flyer, a bit of space rock the team had collected for the synthesis of medicines was confiscated. The Lokirrim then added a charge of "creating biogenic weapons" to the tally. The Lokirrim intended to decompile the program of any photonic they found, but the Doc and Seven found an ingenious hiding place. She downloaded Doc's program into her cybernetic implants to conceal his presence. The only evidence of his existence was his mobile emitter, which Seven claimed was her portable regeneration unit. Seven and Harry were thrown into the Lokirrim ship's brig, although when Seven/Doc told them she/he could provide medical care, Seven/Doc had a lot more freedom on the ship. Eventually, they were able to contact us to let the captain know where they were. The captain smoked the Lokirrim ship that was shepherding us as well as the one holding our away team. We recovered them all, including the Delta Flyer.

During the confrontation with Voyager, the Lokirrim Captain Ranek (I found out his name) was badly injured. Doc refused to be rescued until he'd treated him and saved his life. The Lokirrim woman who was their acting medic (lot of that going around, I see), by the name of Jaryn, finally understood Doc wasn't like the photonics who were fighting the Lokirrim. Doc was more than friendly with her, as I found out later. More than friendly with Ranek, too, as it turned out. There was a lot more to this story than the official log version. Harry's filled me in.

When Seven downloaded Doc into her implants, his personality overwhelmed hers. Seven was prancing around and speaking with the Doc's mannerisms. His first chance to experience life in a living body was a real trip for him, and he took advantage of it in every way he could. The taste of food was a revelation, and he managed to down an entire New York cheesecake, several Ktarian chocolates, and seven or eight glasses of wine in one evening. Now, the Doc knows Seven's metabolism can't handle synthehol well. Did that stop him? No. He was so lost in the glory of the exploration of sensations he'd never experienced before that he abused her body unmercifully. Not sexually, fortunately, or I think Seven might have decompiled his program herself when she was able to be herself. He did flirt, however. The Doc was very attracted to Jaryn, who's a lovely woman from Harry's account as well as Doc's. He flirted with Ranek, too, but that was the way he obtained the codes to allow Seven to contact Voyager and to work with us when we were trying to save the away team.

It all worked out in the end. While the Lokirrim on Ranek's ship may not have changed their opinion of their own photonic's insurgency (which does seem to be a very dangerous situation, from what the Doc and Seven has heard about it), they acknowledged Doc was an honorable being and a fine physician because, despite everything that happened, his adherence to the Hippocratic Oath came before his own safety. They made sure he left before another Lokirrim ship could arrive and prevent his escape.

I must admit this was one time I would have loved to have been in two places at once. The farce going down on Ranek's ship is probably worthy of a holodeck program in itself, although the main participants will undoubtedly put the kibosh on any attempt of mine to recreate it. I'm glad I was on Voyager though. Tuvok needed me.

After we escaped from Lokirrim space, Tuvok was able to return to the holodeck to finish his program with the facsimile of T'Pel. By that time he was really at the end of his tether, and he really needed the help. I saw him this morning in the corridor. He looked like our Tuvok again, imperturbable to those uninitiated in Vulcan ways. (I am well aware of what to look for by now, and I know Vulcan relief when I see it.) I asked him how he was feeling. He replied he was doing well. He rather severely pointed out I'd made T'Pel's ears a little too long, and that a hologram was "no substitute" for his wife.

I could have gotten snarky here. I get way more pleasure at teasing Tuvok than I probably should, now I'm a mature married man myself. I'm very glad Tuvok survived so he has the chance to experience his next pon farr the way it's supposed to be, with his wife T'Pel in his arms, not a photonic imitation. So I took the high road and answered, "Of course." And I meant it.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54266.7

The datastream came through this month without a hitch. No duplicitous holograms attached, no subliminal messages or bogus instructions allegedly from Starfleet. We know, because Harry and Seven went over the entire transmission with a fine tooth comb, and when we sent our replies, Starfleet quickly sent back confirmation that reassured us this transmission to us was legit!

Despite the problems with the previous transmissions, Starfleet had less techie stuff to send us. There was more room for personal messages, to the captain as well as to the rest of us.

Most important to me, I heard from Mom. Finally! She sent me a short letter, text only, because she'd attached a picture drawn by a child named Tommy. Reading between the lines of Mom's letter, and because of that picture, I received a secondary message that pleased B'Elanna as well as me. Mom spoke of her work with the orphaned kids of the Maquis. Unspoken was that she was working with surviving Maquis, too. The picture told the tale. Little Tommy is the son of an old friend of mine from the Academy who Mom knew well when we were there together. This friend is doing very well, a vedek now, and she's "like another daughter" to Mom. There's only one old friend who fits. Ro Laren. She's alive, and she must be doing great, especially if she's the mother of a little boy she named after me! At least, I'd like to think he's my namesake.

Mom's letter was held back because of the "Reg" hologram fiasco. She didn't know anything about our marriage at the time she sent it off. We quickly got together a few of the Doc's images from our wedding, which the captain agreed to send to her in the return data stream. I hope Mom and my sisters will forgive us for getting married when they couldn't attend the wedding.

I also received a letter from my dad, but it wasn't exactly a new one. The captain let Starfleet know that some of the first messages they'd sent us through the Hirogen network never arrived, and that mine was one of them. Dad sent me what he'd sent then, with a new postscript added, wishing B'Elanna and me happiness in our marriage and congratulating me for getting my rank back. B'Elanna was extremely curious about about that letter. It was the one that started coming through but got lost when the Hirogen destroyed their system before we'd received it all.

My dad encouraged me to follow Captain Janeway's orders meticulously, because she would have a big say in how Starfleet viewed me once we came home. Her recommendation could influence the brass' decision. He didn't exactly say I would be able to receive a pardon for my previous misdeeds and stay in Starfleet if I kept my nose clean, but it was certainly implied. He also informed me that my Great Grandmother Christina Paris died shortly after I was lost with Voyager. He said she insisted, to the end, that I wasn't dead and would reappear someday, "covered in glory."

B'Elanna seemed very surprised by that news. I remembered she had been unable to download my letter from home, even though Harry's came through in its entirety after mine incurred problems. I became suspicious and asked B'Elanna if more of that letter came through than she'd admitted to me. She sighed and said she got bits of the "be a good boy for Janeway" part, and that my "mother" had died. The "great-grand" part of great grandmother never came through. B'Elanna didn't want to give me the fragments she'd managed to recover because she thought I'd be upset learning, in what she thought was a very cold way, that my mom had died. I hugged B'Elanna and said it was okay. Now we knew the truth. Mom's okay. "Granny" Paris was almost 115 when she died. I wasn't surprised Dad wasn't overwhelmingly sad when he reported the news. She'd led a good life. My only regret is "Granny" Paris didn't live to find out she was right about my survival, and that "her Tommy" had managed to go a long way towards redeeming himself since he got lost in the Delta Quadrant.

B'Elanna didn't expect any letters, but the one she received was filled with news, even though it was short. Her cousin Elizabeth Torres wrote to tell her the entire Torres family was delighted to hear she was safe on Voyager. They'd been told B'Elanna was "Missing, Presumed Dead" after the loss of the Val Jean. There was a bit of chatty news about Elizabeth's brothers. She asked B'Elanna to write back and promised to write again soon if B'Elanna did.

The bombshell concerned B'Elanna's mother Miral. Elizabeth extended her condolences to B'Elanna on her mother's loss, in the way people do when they presume the death is already well known. Elizabeth must have thought Starfleet informed B'Elanna about the shuttle craft accident which had taken Miral's life. It occurred right around the time of B'Elanna's near death experience last year. The news wasn't totally unexpected, since B'Elanna saw her mother on the Barge of the Dead, but it was awful to have Miral's death confirmed like that. After the way B'Elanna's vision ended, with Miral's comment they might meet again when B'Elanna returned home, we'd both hoped she was still alive. I held B'Elanna for a long while after that. B'Elanna doesn't cry often, but when she does, it doesn't end quickly.

So our mail call brought us good news as well as bad. Someone we were afraid was lost turned out to be thriving. A person we hoped was okay was dead. While I held B'Elanna in my arms, I renewed my determination to do everything in my power to make Miral feel I'd regained my honor, which was always so important to her. If she's in Sto-Vo-Kor, maybe she'll know.

End Personal Log


Personal Log Addendum

One other bit of news arrived in the latest data stream. We found out the real story of "Reg" and our aborted trip home to the Alpha Quadrant. Chakotay informed the senior staff about it.

Lieutenant Barclay sent us a hologram of himself in the data stream which never showed up. My dad and the rest of the staff at Pathfinder assumed the file was too big to get through, so they deleted a bunch of extraneous elements and sent it a second time last month. As far as they knew at Pathfinder, the hologram got stuck again.

In reality, a group of Ferengi had managed to intercept the first hologram and tweak its program to their own nefarious ends. They wanted Seven's Borg nanoprobes to sell to a multitude of buyers at an amazing profit. They had no qualms about killing everyone on Voyager to get their hands on them. This new and ethically challenged Reg hologram, the one we received, was assigned to set up their plan on our end.

The geodesic fold plan would have worked and brought our ship to where they were waiting. The Ferengi knew every living thing would be dead from radiation when it arrived. The Reg hologram was supposed to delete the Doc's program once the ship got into the fold so he couldn't interfere with their plans. After the Ferengi got hold of Seven's corpse (and probably Icheb's and Aimee's, although they might not have realized the kids had nanoprobes running around in their bodies, too), they were going to shove Voyager and the remains of everyone else into a star to destroy the evidence.

The real Reg Barclay was mortified his "loose lips" to ex-girlfriend Leosa gave the Ferengi the information they needed to set up their plot. Fortunately, when she was being interrogated by my father, Barclay, and Deanna Troi, she said enough about the profit she'd been promised from the sale of Borg nanoprobes in time for them to figure out our danger.

The Ferengi received a message from "Reg" that Captain Janeway knew about the plot and possessed technology which would allow Voyager to get through the fold with its crew intact. She'd vowed vengeance on the plotters who were willing to endanger her people and wanted to blow them into subatomic particles with weapons obtained from the Borg, the Hirogen, etc.

Now Ferengi are successful businessmen, I'll give them that, but a lot of them aren't the sharpest knives in the block. Courage isn't high on their list of desired attributes, either. This bunch bought what "their hologram" told them, and collapsed the geodosic fold. Of course, it was the real Lieutenant Barclay impersonating his stolen hologram. They didn't get away, either. The Carolina had been dispatched by Starfleet to capture them, and they did.

When I heard this story, the name Leosa rang a bell, especially when I heard that one of the Ferengi was called Nunk. In my disreputable days scraping around the fringes of the galaxy, before I met up with Ro and joined the Maquis, I'd been introduced to a Ferengi casino operator named Nunk and his "dabo girl" Leosa. She was a pretty little thing, with an icicle for a heart, who would sleep with anyone for a price. Nunk was her pimp. Leosa was a good actress, capable of playing any role. I'm sure she could fool Barclay into thinking she cared for him. I'm relatively sure they're the same two I encountered back in those bad old days.

It wouldn't be a good idea to tell B'Elanna about this. I may share it with the captain, but I'll have to think about it some more before I decide whether it's worth spilling it to anyone else. This month's return data stream is already away, and the window of communication has closed up. With the Ferengi and Leosa in custody, I hope it's not that important.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54275.9

B'Elanna has been saying we needed to complete a major maintenance overhaul for the past several weeks. As soon as we received the last datastream, the captain succumbed to her blandishments and had me set Voyager down the surface of an uninhabited planet. It's true we can complete work on tasks that are hard to do when we're flying along in space down here. And that was the last bit of fun I've had for the past week. It's been one drudge assignment after the other. I didn't even draw the away team flight looking for dilithium in the Delta Flyer. Harry got the call, with Neelix and Seven as his crew. Much as I hate to be separated from my wife, I'd have been much happier on that mission than scrubbing plasma manifolds with a toothbrush.

One plus: Icheb was assigned to Engineering. He's shown promise filling the role of Mr. Fixit. B'Elanna told me tonight he's helped them get ahead of schedule. Maybe he can help us get off this rock sooner. I won't really be happy until we can fly away from here, with me at the helm.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54277.7

Harry's come and gone. While he was looking for dilithium, he answered a distress call from a Kraylor medical transport vessel that was under attack. Harry helped fight off the aggressors. With Seven's help, they completed repairs on the ship and brought the survivors to Voyager. This Dr. Loken asked the captain for help getting back to their own planet, since the only one of their crew with any flight experience is Terek, and he's not much more than a cadet. This is Terek's first time in space.

When I heard the captain agreed to allow him to fly the Kraylor medical transport home, I begged Harry to take me with him. Harry said no. For once, he wants to be "Captain Proton and not Buster Kincaid." I do understand. Maybe it is time for him to step up and be in charge for once. Seven will accompany him. Since she has no formal rank, Harry will be "captain" for this trip.

Now, if one of the other shuttles comes back and needs to go out again, I wonder if I can convince the captain to let me take over that assignment? I'm getting desperate!

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54278.3

OK. I'm feeling a little better about being planetside this morning. B'Elanna realized how unhappy I've been down here and tried to make it up to me with a nice dinner, a movie on the TV, and a tumble in the sack. And just about everywhere else in our quarters. It was very, very nice. Before I get back to scrubbing manifolds today, I'll have to fix a few pieces of furniture and stop by Sickbay to get myself a new dermal regenerator, but it was worth it. We had lots of fun.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54280.9

I met up with Icheb in the corridor this morning. He seemed a bit down, so I told him he needed to have some fun. B'Elanna told me she was going to take him rock climbing on the holodeck one day soon for a little R & R. I kidded him, wondering if I should be worried about him spending so much time with my wife. He suddenly got so spooked, I figured I'd better change the subject. I told him car racing was more fun and challenged him to a car race on the holodeck. I noticed he was kind of nervous, but he agreed.

Tonight I was surprised to hear he'd decided not to go rock climbing with B'Elanna after all. She said he felt "we had to break it off because my interest in him was inappropriate." He'd misinterpreted her praise for his good work in Engineering as B'Elanna flirting with him, apparently. At first she admitted she was upset. After all, she's a lot older than he is, and she's a married woman! Then she took pity on him and let him down easy. She agreed that as hard as it was, he was right. They'd have to "end it." That means no car race for me, either, I suppose

She laughed, but she was sad, too. "He was doing so well, Tom. I hate losing his help! I guess we'll have to do without it." I suggested she assign some of his diagnostics to me. Anything, to get me off scrubbing duty for the duration! I don't know how many more plasma manifolds there are to be cleaned. If any are left, maybe the captain can ask Icheb to take over that task.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate54284.5

Harry's back from his "humanitarian mission," in command of the "Nightingale," which is what he dubbed the spacecraft while he was bringing it to the Kraylor home world. He thought naming it after Florence Nightingale was appropriate for a medical transport. Except there weren't any medicines on board the ship. Their real cargo was the cloak which was hiding the vessel from the Annari. Harry knew the Annari were in conflict with the Kraylor. It was an Annari ship he had to fight off when he first met Dr. Loken and his staff. The Annari were going to trade dilithium and new deuterium injectors for zoelitic ore with us. When they realized Harry was flying the Kraylor ship, we were ordered off the planet, and all trade talk was over because Voyager had "taken sides" in the conflict. And, in a way, we had.

It also was something of a humanitarian mission, assuming Dr. Loken was telling the truth. He said the cloak was necessary because the blockade by Annari ships around the Kraylor world was preventing the delivery of food and medicines to the planet. This is a textbook case of "shades of gray." Who knows who was telling the truth about the fight? Both may have been fudging the truth. Or maybe both were telling the truth, just not all the truth.

Harry admitted that command of the Nightingale wasn't all he'd hoped it would be. He wasn't ready to be a captain quite yet. Seven had been quite critical of his command style, which I didn't think was all that surprising. Seven can be openly critical of Captain Janeway's command style at times! He admitted Seven had been right, though. He'd been afraid to delegate responsibility to young Terek at first, and he was trying to control everything too much. It took a mutiny by Dr. Loken for Harry to realize what he'd been doing wrong though. He felt a bit better about things by the end of the mission, once he'd allowed himself to trust Terek to follow orders. The mission, over all, was successful.

Harry's got a way to go before he's ready for command, but knowing that is undoubtedly one of the first steps a young officer needs to take on the way to getting there. I'm proud of my "Buster." He is on his way.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54327.4

We responded to a distress call today at a station built by the Hirogen. It turned out to be a "training facility" for young hunters. I was part of the away team that beamed in. The setting was lush, but it was holographic. When we turned off the holoemitters, the floor of the station was littered with the bodies of 43 dead Hirogen hunters. We only found one living Hirogen, and he was a holoemitter technician, not a hunter.

Another Hirogen ship also answered the call. We realized that the holograms who had populated the station to serve as cannon fodder for the trainings had escaped in one of the hunter's ships that had been equipped with holoemitters. We followed them, but the holograms were enhanced models, capable of learning. Think the Doc, crossed with Michael Sullivan, crossed with a freedom fighter/terrorist (take your pick of terminology, Personal Log). The holograms blew up a Hirogen ship, and we had to transport the survivors onto Voyager to save them.

I've had to work with the wounded Hirogen, because the fugitive holograms stole the Doc's program. I guess they wanted to "free" their fellow photonic.

The hunters are the top of the Hirogen food chain. This techie Hirogen doesn't strike me as one who would be very successful as a hunter. For one thing, he's a little guy. He's not at all like the ones we've met. Seven did have a decent experience with one Hirogen a few months ago. She'd been kidnapped, along with Tuvok, by a Norcadi promoter to become a Tsunkatse combatant. The Hirogen fighter helped both of them survive. So maybe they're not all like the humongous hunter who was tracking the dying Fluidian, or the stupid ones who wrecked their own communications array in their zeal to go after us. This Donik seems to be a decent sort. He wants to help us and rectify his mistake of following his superior's orders to enhance the holograms so well, they're now wreaking havoc on the Hirogen. From the wreckage of that training facility, the superiors may be as stupid as the ones who wrecked the communications network.

End Personal Log


Personal Log Addendum

We've got to go after these creeps. The photonics have stolen my wife! I need to get B'Elanna back from them before they attack her the way Dejaren did!

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54337.6

B'Elanna's back. With the help of Donik, we followed the two Hirogen ships who were in pursuit of the renegade photonics' ship, without being detected. When the Hirogen hunters caught up with them, the photonics managed to kill all but five of the hunters. After the matrix of Iden, the leader of the photonics, was destroyed, we were able to convince the remaining Hirogen to leave his ship behind. It would be bad for their reputations if it were known their prey had gotten away. Captain Janeway suggested that if everyone agreed to say the fugitives' ship was destroyed, no one would ever know about their failure. Depleted as they were, the surviving hunters decided to go along with the captain's suggestion.

B'Elanna told us one of the holograms helped her when she was Iden's captive. This Kejal, a holographic representation of a Cardassian female, will keep the remaining holograms (currently safe in the fugitive ship's database), possibly on a Demon class planet, which is unsuitable for settlement by other species, including the Hirogen. That was Iden's plan. He was a very smart photonic. Too bad he was also a megalomaniac. Doc found that out too late, after he'd helped him kidnap B'Elanna. She's okay. We were able to rescue her. I guess you already figured that out, Personal Log. I'm a little muddled. It's been a tough week.

Donik, the Hirogen techie, volunteered to stay with Kejal and work with the surviving photonic matrices. They said they'll do some reprogramming to prevent them from being too dangerous again. Donik wants to undo the damage he feels he did to them by following the orders of the Hirogen Alpha who wanted a serious challenge. I hope he's successful. We have to trust he'll do the right thing.

The Doc is pretty down. He wanted the captain to take away his mobile emitter to punish him for his treachery against Voyager. The captain wouldn't take it from him. She told him it was a case of "unintended consequences." She's guilty of it, too. If she hadn't given the Hirogen the holographic technology in the first place, this couldn't have happened. Of course, she traded it to them to win our freedom when the Hirogen held us captive. I don't know where we would have been if the captain hadn't made that deal back then.

Sometimes unpalatable circumstances arise no matter what you do. You just have to make the best choices you can and live with the consequences, no matter what they are. I think the captain needs to learn that lesson herself.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54358.9

We had another temporal incident. No wonder the Federation Temporal Police are keeping such a close eye on us.

Harry told me he was on the bridge when the captain asked Chakotay why he'd ordered B'Elanna to burn out the deflector array. Chakotay said he couldn't tell her because of the Temporal Prime Directive. Apparently something happened, but the time stream has been repaired in some way that only our First Officer is privy to.

Since we're going along okay now, I should simply forget I ever heard anything about what Chakotay said. I would, if I hadn't been tabbed to be on the work crew to fix the deflector with Harry, Seven, and B'Elanna's engineering crew. Everyone speculated constantly on what must have happened while we worked on the repairs.

Talk about déjà vu all over again! This is getting ridiculous!

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54444.7

I'm trying to keep my cool, but it's difficult. I can't believe it, but it's true.

B'Elanna collapsed in Engineering today. That's very unusual in itself. Icheb was there, and he told Seven he detected a "parasite" inside Lieutenant Torres.

I think Icheb needs my expertise in the Sex Education line, because that "parasite" is my soon-to-be offspring. B'Elanna is pregnant!

It's pretty amazing, actually. Usually, Klingons and humans need assistance in the conception department. However, after B'Elanna's pregnancy was confirmed, the Doc did a little "further investigation" and discovered that her parents must have been unsure who the father of any children she might have might be. Taking the organ redundancy pattern Klingons have developed during their evolution as a guide, her parents made sure she had ovaries containing eggs which allow conception with humans or Klingons without any special help. The Doc said she's about seven or eight weeks pregnant. I remember that "great night" B'Elanna and I had when we were stuck on that planet doing all sorts of maintenance chores to Voyager's systems. That memorable night might have been "Baby Making Day."

I'm ecstatic. We'll have great news to send home through this month's datastream. I'm sure the captain will make sure messages to my family and B'Elanna's cousin aren't held up. My parents are going to be so happy to finally get to be grandparents! It's unfortunate they'll miss most of our baby's childhood, unless we find a wormhole or something that will get us home sooner.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54449.6

B'Elanna is calmer now. I hope she finally realizes how much she means to me. How much our marriage means to me. And, especially, how wonderful it is that my daughter is going to look exactly the way she should look, like a Klingon and human hybrid, a beautiful little baby with her mother's Klingon forehead and my blue eyes.

The Doc did find an anomaly in our baby. She was going to have a spinal curvature, which is apparently a common defect in Klingons. B'Elanna's mother and B'Elanna both had to have surgery to correct it when they were little children. With the Doc's program stuffed with advanced techniques which have been developed since B'Elanna was a child, he was able to make the spinal correction in utero, using genetic resequencing. In the course of his talk with us, he let slip our baby was going to be a girl. Since we knew that, we asked him to show us a holographic projection of (approximately) how she'll look once she's born, based upon her DNA pattern.

When I first saw her face, I'm sure I burbled incoherently. She was perfect. B'Elanna got all quiet, which I usually recognize is a bad sign, but I was so excited, I didn't notice it at the time.

For a couple of days, B'Elanna seemed pensive. I chalked it up to prenatal jitters. After all, we are traveling in the Delta Quadrant, and life here isn't exactly safe. When she did talk to me about what was bothering her, I was appalled. She wanted to do more genetic changes, to "prevent potential health problems." She didn't fool me. I knew this was really about not wanting our child to look Klingon. I ended up sleeping on Harry's couch the other night.

Then the Doc called us in for another conference. He said the clash between human and Klingon metabolism could cause more problems than he'd originally thought when B'Elanna spoke with him about it. Now he agreed with her. Huge sections of our baby's DNA needed to be replaced.

Now, I vividly recall when Dr. Sulan split B'Elanna's genome apart and reconstituted two of her, one all Klingon and one all human. After Klingon B'Elanna was killed during Voyager's rescue of us, the Doc had to reintegrate her DNA into the surviving human half of B'Elanna. She needed those genes to be able to digest food properly. While I could see my genes might have supplied what was missing for the baby, I wanted a second opinion. After all, we are privileged to have on Voyager a young man who has already proven to be quite a whiz in genetics. I took the Doc's findings to Icheb. He spotted a computational error in those findings. Seven got suspicious then and ran a diagnostic on the Doctor's program. Sure enough, she found it had been tampered with. There was only one person on board our ship who has the expertise and, more importantly, the expressed desire to make changes in Baby Paris' genome.

I confronted B'Elanna in Sick Bay, just as she was about to undergo the procedure. I was able to convince the Doc to hold off until I'd had a chance to speak with B'Elanna. Alone.

I've always known of the inner conflict B'Elanna has suffered over her dual heritage. When we were prisoners of the Vidiians' and Dr. Sulan, she'd told me how her father had abandoned his family when she was just a child. What she hadn't told me before is that she blamed herself for his leaving them. There was a disastrous family camping trip B'Elanna took with her father, her uncle, and her cousins (including Elizabeth, the cousin she's been corresponding with). During that trip, B'Elanna overheard her father telling his brother he was finding it difficult living with "two Klingons." B'Elanna got angry and told him if he couldn't stand living with her and her mother, he should "just leave." And he did, only days later.

I felt so bad for her. I wished she'd told me about this before she became pregnant. If she had, I would have immediately understood what was bothering her when she suggested we make more genetic changes than the medical one indicated by the Doc's evaluation. B'Elanna is afraid I'll leave her, too.

I took her in my arms and told her I'm not her father. I will never abandon my family the way her father left B'Elanna and her mother Miral. I wouldn't mind having an entire basketball team of quarter-Klingon kids running around Voyager. I reminded her she calls me "Mr. Klingon" when she thinks I'm getting too enthusiastic and bossy about the "Klingon stuff." I was the one who hounded her into getting involved in Klingon martial arts programs. I'm studying the language and reading Klingon scrolls with her. If there's any other way to make her happy with her Klingon lineage, she only has to ask me, and I'll do whatever I can to make it happen.

I mean, honestly, I was always such a handful for my parents, I don't see how our kids could be that much harder to handle than I was. I crashed the family flitter into Lake Tahoe (it's probably still there). I was a snarky human teenager who did his best to mess up his life. At least B'Elanna and I know how that Klingon side can manifest itself. We'll be prepared when it happens.

And then I told B'Elanna I love her more than I will ever find the right words to say, and I always will. Completely. Passionately. Forever.

I hope I've finally convinced her I mean it. I do mean it.

But . . . Mr. John "Deadbeat Dad" Torres better watch out when we get back to the Alpha Quadrant. I plan on beating him to a pulp if I ever meet up with him. He'll be sorry he was ever born. My "Klingon Side" will be showing.

End Personal Log


Chief Helmsman's Personal Log, Stardate 54452.9

This morning, B'Elanna apologized to the Doc for tampering with his program. He accepted it, as graciously as he is capable, from what B'Elanna told me. Then, as we'd agreed before she met with the Doc, B'Elanna asked him to be the baby's godfather. He accepted "with pleasure." He'll be a good one, I think. A little on the pompous side, but he'll be devoted to her, I'm sure.

Now we have to choose a name for her. We won't be asking him to help us with that, of course. He still hasn't chosen a name for himself yet. It's been over six years since he was activated, and he's still "The EMH" or "Doc." As in, "What's up, Doc?"

I do love Bugs Bunny, but really. This is getting ridiculous!

End Personal Log