If You're Gone

I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone.
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - But I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem
I'm feeling

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much
I know it's wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

-Matchbox 20

James' POV

I was numb, with the exception of the growing pressure in my temple. Sirius sat across from me, trying to be helpful by bitching about my long-gone wife. He was not all that helpful. The mention of her only made the news worse, and the ache in my temple grew.

The now crumpled letter sat where I first found it on the Study desk. Her ring sat in my palm's center, now warm from the heat of my flesh. I dare not utter a word, for fear that tears would suddenly fall. And it is unacceptable for guys to cry, or so my father always told me.

Sirius and Remus had been with me when I found the note hours previously. I know that I could still look for her, but the gesture was pointless if she really wanted to leave. She had been the smart one in our relationship, and always had been.

Remus was quiet, calculating. His eyes were cold with the knowledge that what I had done was wrong, and Lily was very much right. I agreed with him. I had pushed her too far, tried to shun her from a life that was rightfully her's. She had been miserable with me, and in return I basked in her misery. What kind of monster was I? She had once told me that I was society's creation. I had laughed at the remark then, not truly understanding the weight of her words. And she was right.

I watched as Sirius sloppily poured a good sum of vodka into a scotch glass, adding no ice or anything else. I hated vodka, and honestly had no idea how it ever managed to enter our house- or I suppose now it's my house. He slammed it down in front of me, and some of the drink sloshed out the glass and onto the deep mahogany of the coffee table. My gaze drifted up to his face, and I watched in pure interest as an expression of utter brilliance crossed his face. He actually thought he was being helpful by getting me drunk, so that tomorrow, when I wake up, I'll have a hangover and still feel like shit. Brilliance is overrated.

I picked up the glassed warily, swirling the clear liquid around in the glass, watching with no actual interest as a small funnel formed.

Sirius then began to verbally thrash the memory of my wife once more, and once more the vein in Remus' temple popped up in aggravation.

" I'd like to be alone now." And I spoke no more, nor did I change my body language or look up. I simply stared down into my luke-warm drink until I heard the refreshing popping sounds of them apparating. At last, I was alone. All alone in this big house. No friends, no family, no wife. How lucky could a guy get?

I stood slowly, strolling lazily around the Study, my feet scuffling along the beige carpet. My eyes drifted along all of the framed photographs that hung on the walls. My gaze paused on the picture of our wedding day. We were both smiling, trying to look serious long enough to get the picture over with. I'm afraid we barely succeeded.

And suddenly her voice filled my head, the sound of her laughter, the scent of her hair, and the joyous picture of our wedding day mocked me, her eyes judging and taunting. With a rush of adrenaline my hand slammed into the glass picture frame, repeatedly, until only the pain of glass shards buried in my palm stopped me.

I slid my throbbing hand away, letting it fall limp to my side. My gaze traveled up to the photograph once more, back up to her blood-streaked face, and I smiled bitterly.

" Good luck out there, Lily."

A/N: Hey, there. Thanx to everyone for the reviews. Im sorry it takes so long to post, its just that school's a bitch, y'kno. Im also sorry that the chaps are so short, but I promise that Im building up to a bigger one. I just have to work my way up.. Like the next one should be pretty long, and Ive already started. Plus Im thinking about writing a branch off story about How they fell in love, or basically the prequel that works up to the failed marriage. So please just hang with me a bit longer, I swear I am trying.

Thanx.

Ishbu girl