They stayed embraced for minutes at the center of the office of Inspector Brakenreid. Their friends had stayed with them a while, and finally, they had left the office one by one, in silence without even Julia and William noticing. Nothing existed around them. There was the sound of typewriters on the open space, the animated discussions of the police, or even the criminals who were protesting, there was nothing, only the staccato breathing of the other to his sides. The world continued its course, but for Julia and William the world had stopped. They remained silent, embracing, weeping silently. Julia only fought for a long time, she kept all her forces n her husband, he could feel her warm tears in the crook of his neck, her breath that she sometimes she was holding in his ear, and her heart pounding against his. He placed a hand on the back of his wife to comfort her and the other behind her head, to feel her presence, that she does not move away from him, to comfort him as well. And finally, slowly, Julia slipped out of his grip just enough so he could meet her eyes. Her eyes were swollen, red, marks of tears on her cheeks, her eyes were so sad, her skin so pale. William slid his hand to the ear of Julia on her cheek to wipe fingertips the tears were still there and he tenderly brushed her lips.
-You should go back home Julia, he whispered.
-I can't, not ... without you, I will not return to the hotel and see the room full of Roland belongings, I can not do, not alone.
-I'm in the middle of an investigation and ...
Julia bit her lip, trying not to cry as she left his eyes. His work was decidedly more important than everything else. She just nodded against heart and then, slowly, William took her hand. He leaned over her to file a tender kiss in her hair. They closed their eyes at the same time staying close seconds before William does away and leads Julia behind him. They arrived on the open space. It passed a second before it froze before every policeman turns to them. Julia met the gaze of a few, but as soon as, she looked down, unable to face the people she saw sadness and pity in eyes.
-Sir, William whispered as he approached his superior who was with his wife, I wish ... I know we're in the middle of an investigation and ...
-Go home, gently cut Brakenreid, we will carry this investigation without you.
-Thank you, William nodded before turning to Julia that he met the gaze of misunderstanding, I will not leave you alone Julia, William whispered tenderly stroking the cheek of his wife, you need me and I need of you. You're more important than everything else on this Earth.
She tried to smile at him and he did the same before pulling her toward the exit. Julia spent the first, not granting or look left or right, head high and pursed lips. Yet past the pram which had greeted Roland recent weeks, William paused. He could not help take the rabbit who was there and the boy quitted rarely since Julia had offered him. For some reason, William slipped it into his pocket, joining Julia on the steps of the police station to take a carriage and go home.
They had made the journey in the most total silence, just holding hands, not sharing any look, no gesture, both lost in their thoughts. They were gone on the floor, they opened the door to their suite, they entered and they stopped at the center of the room. Julia had felt the hand of William arise in her back. She closed her eyes to this contact but when she opened them again, she quickly run to the bathroom. William frowned, it was only when he heard her vomit he understood how the return to the hotel was painful, how her body itself refused what was happening. He looked at the room around him, he had to arrange the affairs of Roland, making the order, remove from the sight of Julia the painful reality. But at that moment, William was paralyzed, he could not move, think, breathe. He spent a few moments when he listened again Julia cough, then he walked to the bathroom.
-Julia? Are you fine? You...
But he could not say more because when he tried to enter the room the door closed abruptly. He heard the key turn and he put his hand on the dark wood.
-Julia, murmured William, I beg you, let me ...
-Leave me, cut Julia's trembling voice from the other side, I need a few moments ...
-Very well, William sighed against heart at the door before leaving to hear Julia crying again on the other side.
He stepped into the bedroom like an automaton, he picked up Roland's toys and clothes, he dismantled the bed, asked boxes at reception in which he put the baby's things, he thought of everything, until the mealtime came, when the bellboy left the salver on which were three meals. When William saw the plate of mashed vegetables for his son, he fell to the ground. He put his head against the wall and wept. He would not hold back the tears, sobs, he did not want to do this in silence, it was too hard, a way to hard. Then he let go. He felt a lump in the fabric of his pants pocket. He pulled the rabbit and brought it to his face. William prayed with all his heart. He prayed for this child to be happy, for he had a good life, he prayed that his wife could recover from the ordeal, he begged to be strong enough to overcome it, he prayed, asking God to have another chance, he prayed and asked him why he was so cruel with him. And when he had no more strength to do it, when he realized that there was only silence in response to his questions, he stopped, simply. He heard the door of the bathroom open but he did not open his eyes, he did not have the strength. Julia looked at him broken heart, the man she loved, her hero, the man of her life, against that wall of the bedroom, eyes closed, his head against the wall, tears marks on his cheeks, shaking his hands Roland's toy. She wondered how she could believe that he was not suffering as much as she. How could she believe for a second that she was the only one to suffer? Julia came towards William gently. She knelt in front of him. Slowly, she put her hands on his. William opened his eyes and he looked into hers. She come a little more to sit on his lap, one leg on each side of his body. She overhang him and without a word, she wiped away the traces of tears on his cheeks. He closed his eyes and she leaned over to kiss every tear, she kissed his forehead, his nose, his lips before deepening the kiss. Julia reached out a little more, encircling the face of William in her arms, stroking his scalp, playing strongly with his tongue. She felt the hands of William arise in the small of her back and pulled her against him to savor that kiss so strong and intense. When they parted to catch their breath, they laid their foreheads against each other.
-Forgive me, whispered William.
-You did the right thing William, Julia replied, stroking his cheek, you have done what is right.
He nodded, sniffling and Julia kissed him again. Then they stayed and embraced, long minutes, pressed against each other before they decide to get up. In silence they approached the bed, silently, they undressed each other, slowly, watching every move, holding their breath when the fingers of the other brushed their skin. Once both naked, they lay in the bed, they shook against one another, intertwining their legs, as close as possible to each other, failing breath in the neck of the other, so close they breathed in unison, so close that they feel the heart beat of the other. They slept well, having spent long minutes staring into one another in silence while their looks expressed what they were feeling, pain, love, comfort, all that they could not say with words but all eyes could express, everything they needed at that moment.
to be continued...
