I am so sorry for the long delay, me and my awesome Beta were both very busy! So here is the next Chapter! I also plan to post a Tomsha Christmas story so stay tuned! ;)
After Sasha had taken her well-deserved hot shower she was still worried about Tom's mental health but she had finally figured out which parts of the past 24 hours she wanted to share with her friend downstairs. So after she had slipped into a comfortable pair of navy blue sweats and pulled her towel dried hair into a messy bun, Sasha headed downstairs.
"Coffee or tea?" She heard Kara's voice coming from the kitchen as she reached the bottom step of the stairs.
"Uhm, coffee, please. I'll be in the living room." Sasha replied as she walked into the living room stepping on one of Frankie's toys that squawked rather loudly. Picking up the toy, Sasha wandered over to the window, stroking it mindlessly as she pulled back the curtain. Leaning against the window frame, her eyes were drawn in the direction Tom's house, recalling the countless moments she'd spent trying to come up with a plan to approach him.
Thinking back to yesterday, Sasha couldn't help but smile, and gave silent thanks for Kara's persistence. Kara's constant nagging had given her the push she'd needed to finally go over to the Chandler house. Her smile softened as the morning's events replayed in her mind, and her eyes once more drifted back to the row of tree's and homes that obscured the house she most wanted to see.
"Oh! Not again!" Kara's voice ripped her out of her thoughts. "I thought you were past the whole staring out of the window and wondering about Chandler phase?" Kara asked clearly annoyed to find her friend staring out of the window once more.
"I wasn't staring!" Sasha tied to defend herself as she turned around to face her friend who just gave her a look that told her not to lie. "Fine, I was staring" she admitted walking over to the arm chair next to the couch. "But you would be doing the same thing after…" she trailed before shaking her head. "Never mind." She sighed as she sat down.
"Never mind?" Kara asked in disbelief as she sat down. "C'mon Sasha! I know there is something bothering you and I know that you want to talk about what happened between you and Tom. And for the record, this is not the gossip starved Mom talking. This is me, Kara, your friend who cares for you a lot and I can see it in your eyes that something has happened. So please just talk to me and maybe I can help." Kara said softly, hoping that Sasha would trust her and finally would open up to her.
"Honestly?" Sasha asked. "I don't even know where to start… there was so much going on last night and I'm not just talking about that" she explained pointing at the red mark on her neck. "What I saw last night..." Sasha shook her head, unable to find the words to describe it all.
"Was it too much to handle on your own? Even when you thought you could?" Kara asked carefully.
"Yeah." Sasha nodded.
"Well how about you start with last night when you went over to see him and work your way up?" Kara suggested as she picked up her cup of steaming hot tea. "Or start where ever you want. I'm listening."
"Well last night when I went over…" Sasha sighed deeply, pausing for a moment as she turned her head to look out of the window again. "It was nice… we had a few drinks…. Red wine and it was fun." She smiled softly as she remembered how playful Tom was when he brought her bottle. "He was in a good mood, even a little playful, like the old Tom. But then I changed the topic and well… when I told him that he looked exhausted, he tried to deflect it, telling me I looked just as tired" Sasha sighed "It turns out Tom hasn't had a decent night's sleep since the missile tests in the Arctic. Its why I offered to stay the night, to be there for him in case he needed someone to talk to"
"And? What did he say?" Kara asked softly.
"He refused, of course, so it forced me to play the kids card on him" Sasha replied. "I told him that Ashley and Sam needed their Dad to be at his best, so he accepted my offer, we had a few more drinks before heading upstairs"
"And that was when that happened?" Kara raised her eyebrow, touching her own neck where Sasha's hickey was.
"God, no!" Sasha couldn't help but role her eyes at her friend, laughing.
"Sorry, it's just that hickey of yours… it's something I didn't expect." Kara apologized.
"That came later. Anyway, I stayed at his guestroom and he gave me one of his old shirts to sleep in…" she continued, blushing a little as she recalled the morning's lovemaking. "And I don't know why, but that damn shirt… when I'd put it on… it brought back so many old memories from the academy… like the moment we first met, our relationship, I don't know why but it felt as if my heart and mind went right back there - but that is a different story." Sasha told her, nothing the curious expression on Kara's face.
"Technically it is part of your story with him and I don't have to tell you that I have my own forbidden love story..." Kara trailed off, a grin on her lips. "Fine, another time then?" She asked knowing that this wasn't about taking a trip down the memory line. "So, what happened during the night? Did he wake up?"
"He…" Sasha started, but stopped as she picked up her cup. "You know that I'm a light sleeper, right?"
"You are." She nodded as she recalled the countless times Sasha had joined her in the middle of the night, helping her with Frankie.
he was in the grip of a horrendous nightmare..." Sasha's voice trailed off, her eyes closing as her mind replayed the awful scenes from the previous evening "It broke my heart... I've seen things like that before ...but when it's someone you care for? Heartbreaking" she swallowed hard, before forcing herself to continue "When I went in and woke him... the look in his eyes...the pain and terror... it's not something you ever want to see someone you love experiencing. I held him, tried to soothe him, told him it was just a dream, but he wasn't listening, because he kept telling me it was his fault as he cried in my arms" Sasha stopped speaking, unable to find the words to convey the pain, the grief she'd witnessed in Tom's eyes. Eventually, Sasha managed to continue her narrative, smiling as she felt Kara gently squeeze her hand in support. "I tried my best to stay strong and to get him to calm down, but he didn't stop crying and that shattered my heart. I don't know for how long I set there listening to his sobs, but the sleeve of my shirt was soaked with his tears and my butt felt numb as I was sitting on the edge of the frame. So, I asked him if I should stay but he just looked at me and didn't say a word so I figured that he wanted me to stay and tried to get up and over to the other side of the bed… No, not for that." Sasha rolled her eyes when she noticed a grin forming on Kara's lips.
"Anyways when I tried to get up he grabbed me by wrist to stop me from leaving… After I had reassured him that I wouldn't leave I went over and got into his bed. He kept on crying and continued to blame himself for everything that had happened during the plague and I mean everything, his family, the sailors that he had lost, the civilians that died because of the Immunes, hell he even blamed himself for allowing a pregnant woman, you, to be part of Dr Scott's trials.
"He did what?" Kara asked in disbelief. "No one knew that I was pregnant! Hell, not even I knew that I was pregnant at the time. If it wouldn't have been for the trials no one would've found out. You have told him that right?"
""Of course, I did! I told him that none of it was his fault and that he should stop blaming himself, but you know how him… stubborn sailor." Sasha muttered as she rolled her eyes. "But I got him to think about it even though he told me that he can't, because every time he thinks about things he starts to second guess each decision that he made and what he could've done differently to save everyone."
"He did everything he could, and no one would've been able to handle the situation like he did. He saved us all more than once" Kara replied.
"That's exactly what I'd told him, but I guess he will need some time to actually realize that. Anyways around 3:00 we called it a night and well the next morning…" Sasha trailed off. "…let's just say it was something else." A soft smile on his lips as she recalled the moment where she had opened her eyes only to find Tom already staring at her.
"I can see that now, what happened?" Kara asked even though she had pretty good feeling about what Sasha would tell her now.
"Well when I woke up Tom was already staring at me. He told me that he was feeling lighter… somehow." Sasha shrugged. "And he said that he had already forgotten how good it felt to wake up next to someone, he thanked me for staying with him. And I told him that I still love him, I mean how stupid was that?"
"Not stupid at all." Kara asked back. "Let's face it, Sasha. You love Tom Chandler. No matter how hard you try to deny that. You love him. Maybe it wasn't a good time to tell him? But who cares about the timing when you mean the words you were saying. Maybe it was what he needed to hear to feel better or to get past the pain of his loses."
"I know." Sasha sighed while she tried to come up with a reason that would prove that Kara was wrong.
"So how did he respond to that?"
"He didn't until a few minutes later when he told me that I'm beautiful inside and out. He caressed my cheek in the same way that he used to years ago… it felt so good and I didn't mean to kiss him, but in that moment… I figured that a little kiss won't hurt so I allowed him to kiss me and I don't know…." She trailed off. "Things developed from there." She added a soft smile on her lips as if she could still feel Tom's lips on hers, kissing her gently.
"And? Was it good?" Kara couldn't help but ask when she noticed her friend's rosy cheeks.
"Hmm, more than good." Sasha nodded as the smile on her lips grew bigger even though she was already cursing herself for telling Kara more than she wanted to. "Let's just say some things will never change."
"So, the Captain still knows how to rock a girl's world?" Kara chuckled, grinning back at her friend
"Seriously, Kara? This sound so wrong." Sasha asked a little shocked by her friend's statement, but then again Kara was right, Tom still knows how to rock her world.
"God, you're awful. I really hope for your sake that Danny will come home soon. Because if you keep up like this you'll turn in one of those desperate, gossiping, stay at home moms with no sex life. But for your information Tom does know how to rock my world." She replied. "He always did."
God, what the hell is wrong with me? I didn't want to share that much with her! Sasha thought to herself.
"That's good." Kara nodded, causing Sasha to raise her perfectly shaped eyebrow as she had a questioning expression on her face. "I mean given his age and the time that he had spent on the James… without any…" She trailed off innocently.
"Seriously, Kara!" Sasha shot back indignantly.
"What? I was just pointing out the obvious." Kara shrugged.
"You are unbelievable." Sasha shook her head in disbelief even though she couldn't hold back a grin. "But for the record, the older they get the better they are."
Especially Tom, Sasha added quietly as she remembered again how it used to be before they had broken up over a decade ago. Back then the sex had always been better than good. It was passionate, fiery, a fight for control mixed with a constant fight to satisfy the other more. This morning was something else, though Sasha couldn't really pin point what it was, but it felt different.
"Earth to Sasha!" Kara's voice brought her back to reality.
"Sorry, I was just… never mind." Sasha shook her head as she quickly decided to not share more details about her sex life with Tom.
"So how will you handle the situation with him?" Kara asked as she somehow had a feeling that Sasha wouldn't share any more details about the morning's events.
"Honestly?" Sasha asked as picked up her cup again, wrapping her slender fingers around it. "I don't know. I mean I can head over and be there for him, try to get him to talk about it, but I don't know if it would be enough for him to heal." Sasha shrugged looking at her friend before she resumed staring into her cup, racking her brains for more ways she could help Tom.
"Well that's a good start. Maybe go for a run or just take a walk with him and make him see the good he had done. I mean there are plenty of people who are alive, happy and well because of his decisions, so maybe that could help him." Kara suggested.
"Yeah, I guess that could work." Sasha nodded.
"Or you can take him on a little trip and do something that helps him to relax." Kara suggested tentatively.
"Yeah, right because a spa weekend is something you can do in a post plague world." She replied unable to hide the sarcasm in her voice as Kara rolled her eyes.
"I'm not talking about a spa weekend. Just take him somewhere he like… I don't know" Kara shrugged. "Fishing or camping. You know him better than I do I know you will be able to come up with something he would be able to enjoy."
"And what about Sam and Ashley?" "Take them with you? I'm sure they would love to spend some quality time away with their father and you as a friend of their family. And if they don't want to come with you we will figure something out. They can stay with Danny and me, Frankie adores Ashley anyways." Kara replied a smile on her lips as she remembered how happy her little boy always seemed to be when Tom's daughter was around.
"And what if they don't like me?" Sasha asked and even though she tried to hide her fears and worries she couldn't hide it in her voice.
"And why should they not like you? You are a friend of their father who is trying to help." Kara replied reassuringly.
"I am, but I'm also a stranger. I mean I saw them for like 10 seconds at the airport and that's it." Sasha explained causing Kara to roll her eyes again. "Don't worry, I'm sure they will like you when they see that you are good for their father."
"Okay." Sasha replied taking a sip from her coffee while she thought about Kara's suggestions.
"You know what? Tomorrow after breakfast I'll ask him if he'd like to go out for a walk to the park to get some fresh air." Sasha stated as she suddenly felt her self-confidence rise again. "Taking it slow and see how things will progress from there."
"I think that's a good idea and if there is anything…." said, giving her friends hand a reassuring squeeze
"I know and thank you for listening." Sasha nodded returning Kara's smile as she hoped that her friend was right and that it would help Tom to heal.
"So, now that we have solved your problem, why don't you tell me how you and Tom started?" Kara asked after a few seconds had passed.
"Kara…" Sasha sighed clearly annoyed. "What? We still have some time until Frankie wakes up and…" Kara was about to reason with Sasha when suddenly the baby phone came to life, announcing that Frankie was already up again.
"Saved by the bell." Sasha muttered relieved that Kara's son had chosen the right moment to wake up and save her from telling her another personal story.
"I'll get him. But we are not done here." Kara told her firmly as she got up from the couch.
