Disclaimer : One Piece belongs to Oda Eiichirō. Sanity has left the building.
A/N: Bonney's poetry is a direct quote from "The Fisherman and his Soul" by Oscar Wilde
Rating : K

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The Cursed'

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He really had to stop waking up on top of Sanji. Last time had been in the zombie mansion, now it was a grave in the dead of night. Such was his life this was actually a step up. He sensed no enemies around and he still had all three of his swords. Whatever Bonney had done to him had worn off. He could move his limbs, albeit a bit stiffly.

It was storming. He remembered now, a thunder crack had woken him up. Zoro lifted his head. Grave dirt stuck to his forehead.

'Cook…' He fisted the dirt off and kicked Sanji's leg below the knee. 'Oi. Curly brow. Wake up.'

Zoro squinted, trying to get a look at Sanji's face. When they had switched back bodies earlier, Elaine had stayed conscious despite returning to her unconscious body. Maybe Sanji hadn't woken up yet for the same reason, because he'd been out cold during the switch. He had taken quite a hit, in her body.

Just thinking about it made Zoro's head hurt. Like he had time to dwell on the finer delicacies of body switching! No need to either. All that mattered was that everyone was back in their own bodies. Now they could get back to what they came here to do, which was finding the crew. Sanji might have learned something, but what with the invasion of the body switcher and all, Zoro hadn't gotten round to asking yet and now the idiot was out cold.

Rain trickled across a blond eyebrow, along Sanji's nose and over his cheek. Zoro looked at him. Nami or Robin could have him with one word. He really was a fool for love. Really. Putting himself between Kuma and Zoro, boasting about the menace he was sure to become in order to make the cyborg settle for him. Who would have been next? He imagined if the Straw Hats had been awake, they would have formed a line before Luffy that started with Zoro and ended with Chopper. The sight of those antlers facing off against Kuma made him chuckle. Fools for love, all of them.

Wasn't it likely that if he was going to fall for someone, it would be a crewmate he had already lay down his life for? And of course since it was Zoro who had a thing for masochistic goals, it would be the worst one possible.

He got up, looping an arm around Sanji and pulling him to his feet with him. Zoro unsheathed Wadō. A lightning bolt struck, followed by earsplitting thunder not long later. The storm was close, but hadn't reached its peak yet.

'Ittoryū. Sanjūroku Pōndō Hō!'

They emerged in a whirlwind and landed a few meters away. That's why he had developed his sword fighting styles. To airlift out of graves. Zoro sheathed Wadō, both arms now free to carry Sanji on his back. He set back down the hill.

Bonney had said something about bringing him and Elaine together, but they hadn't brought her to him at all. She was the one who had run off with Sanji's body. She was the idiot who hadn't watched where she was going and fallen down a grave in the first place. It wasn't their fault. There was no reason to go after her at all. All she had done was mess with them, so why should they help her? The reason she was on the run was probably because she had gotten herself in trouble with that power of hers. Picked the wrong person to switch with.

She sure had today. It still made his skin crawl thinking about it. Having such a weak, out-of-shape body...He wouldn't be able to live like that. Powerless to fight, powerless to defend. Maybe she didn't need to be strong though. There were other strengths, like the power to bend people to your will. And by people, he meant the weight on his back that was at the mercy of every pretty woman he came across.

Zoro made a sound somewhere between a resigned sigh and an annoyed snort. They wouldn't be able to go after the crew just yet. Sanji would want to save her first. Troublesome bastard. That meant they would have to deal with Bonney. That wouldn't be easy, if his earlier experience was anything to go by. He still didn't understand what had happened. One look in those eyes had rooted him to the spot, unable to move a muscle. If Bonney had wanted to kill him, he would have been mincemeat right then and there. Literally, if those teeth were anything to go by.

The strongest swordsman in the world, taken out without a fight. There would have been no greater humiliation. The fact that Bonney had been in a position to do so in the first place infuriated him. It wasn't the first time he could have been finished off so shamefully either. On Thrillerbark. Perona and her negativity ghosts. He would have died a quivering wimp if Usopp hadn't been there.

Would those things have happened to Mihawk as well? No. That man's eyes were too strong to be overpowered by another's. His will was too strong. Or was it? An image suddenly popped into Zoro's head of Mihawk on his knees apologizing for his existence, lit up by a flash of lightning as if the heavens themselves were striking at the heresy of the thought. Zoro pass under the village's entry arch with a tight chuckle.

Wind swept sheets of rain through empty streets. Everyone would be indoors of course, fast asleep or taking shelter from the storm. They would probably still be let in at the inn though, except he had no idea how to get there. Well, might as well start walking. What he lacked in directional sense, his luck made up for. He always ended up where he was supposed to be, in the end.

The storm reached its peak while he wandered through the village. All the while Sanji didn't wake. Truth be told, it had been one hell of a kick. Wherever Elaine was now, she had to be in a lot of pain. Though technically speaking, she had kicked herself in the head.

Zoro stopped, squinting against the rain stinging his eyes. Was that...Yes, that was the park from before, where he had ended up after getting lost the first time. Zoro purposefully ignored the pile of firewood. Now which direction to go in? Left or ri-

The round blur came out of nowhere. It smacked into his nose and knocked his head back into Sanji's.

'What the…!' Zoro looked around for what had hit him, but he couldn't see anything. Had someone thrown something from one of the houses?

'Shit.' Sanji groaned. 'O-oi, why the hell are you grabbing my ass again? You pervert, I told you-'

Zoro dropped him like a sack of wheat.

'You're back in your own body, idiot.'

Sanji looked up at him, then surged white-eyed to his feet, butting a veiny forehead into Zoro's. 'Then why the hell is your nose bleeding?'

'Why the hell is yours!' Zoro shouted, digging his skull into Sanji's in turn. Sanji backed away with a start and reached for his nose.

'It has nothing to do with you!' Zoro angrily wiped the blood from his nose.

'Well this has nothing to do with you either!' Sanji muffled behind his sleeve.

'Good!'

'Good!'

'If I had to carry you, it's because you took your sweet time waking up.'

Sanji tapped his King's pack until a cigarette came sliding out. 'The touch of a beautiful woman sends a man to heaven, marimo-kun. It's a long way back down.'

It really wasn't hard to imagine why Sanji couldn't score. And why he got beat up. Imagine being at the business end of those lines. No, actually, he didn't have to imagine, he- Zoro stiffened. Never happened! Never! Didn't hear thing, didn't see a thing, didn't feel a thing!

Sanji caught Zoro's nauseated stare and grinned behind the blue spark of his lighter.

'Oh, give me a break,' a high-pitched voice wheezed. 'You guys should take this show on the road.'

The unlit cigarette fell to the ground. A raccoon stood a few meters away on its haunches. It wore a monocle, a tattered black hat with a huge drooping feather, gloves and a coat. It was soaking wet.

'I have been looking for you two all across town. Seen every gutter in this backwater hole thanks to you!' The raccoon wiped its monocle, for all the good that did with the rain pouring down. Zoro figured it was more a gesture made out of habit. 'I lost your scent with this blasted rain so I came here to the park to climb into the highest tree to see if I could spot you from there. And I did, when you were two streets away but then you wandered away from the park again! I saw you come close again a couple of times over the past the hour.' A claw pointed at Zoro. 'Your movements were completely erratic! Were you trying to throw someone off or do you have the worst sense of direction known to man?'

'The worst sen-'

'You shut up!' Zoro spat.

'Now we're late, also because of you.' The animal pulled out a watch on a chain. Raccoons could see in the dark, of course.

'Late for what?' Sanji asked.

'The parade. You've been invited, remember?'

Of course Sanji didn't remember, since he'd been kissing dirt by that time.

'The captain asked me to find you. Come on, hurry.'

'The captain?' Zoro repeated. 'You mean Bonney?'

'Who else?'

'Are you one of his crew? You work for him?'

'I'm his first mate, Gaston. Now hurry up!' The raccoon turned and ran down the street.

'What's going on?' Sanji asked.

'Just follow him.' Zoro set after Gaston who had dropped on all fours to run, telling Sanji the only thing he needed to know to get going. 'He'll lead us to your beautiful woman.'

That did the trick.

'Where is Elaine-san? What happened? I—'

'After Elaine-san kicked you in the face and knocked you out...' That had to offend but Zoro just couldn't bring himself to care. He had suffered a much greater blow to his pride and he was about to have it rubbed in by the worst person possible. '…Bonney took her, said something about her being his bride.'

'What?' Another timely thunderbolt. Sanji'd fit right in that parade at the moment, his face contorted with perverted fury. 'Like I'm going to let that happen!' He tossed Zoro an angry look. 'Why didn't you stop him?'

Ah, the joy of having to fill Sanji in on Bonney's power, with himself serving as the victim. Oddly, Sanji didn't start laughing when he heard what had happened. Zoro squinted suspiciously at him.

'Don't beat yourself up over it.' Sanji said placatingly. 'It's not your fault. Mind-bending just-' An airy shrug. '-works better on idiots.'

'Then you got more to worry about than me!' Zoro exploded. And was that raccoon snickering?

'Sorry, marimo, men can't rivet me to the spot, only a pretty lady can!'

Insufferable little- Still, Zoro thought grudgingly, this was better. Getting annoyed with Sanji beat the hell out of getting annoyed with himself. Bastard probably knew too. That's why he was egging Zoro on. Though neither of them would ever admit it to doing something like that for each other. No, no amount of torture.

'Listen to me. Listen!' Zoro snarled when Sanji didn't react. Pervert Mode, activated! Probably was imaging sweeping the bride away from under Bonney's nose in some grand last-minute rescue. The fact that it had worked once before with Nami made it even more irritating. Well, sort of worked, until the giant zombie attack. 'He invited us as his guests, so if we play it smart, we can free her without fighting.'

'Like I'm going to play guest at her wedding!' Sanji spat. 'And since when did you start avoiding fights?'

Zoro grit his teeth and snatched a handful of vest, pulling Sanji to a stop. 'I never run from a fight, you got that?' Zoro was in the cook's face, eyes hard and serious. 'But we have to find the crew! We've wasted enough time already. We get her, we get out, simple. Not going to waste time fighting that guy and his lackeys if we don't have to, got it?'

Sanji glared at him. Then he knocked Zoro's wrist away roughly. Zoro let him, because he knew too. That chivalry thing of his - lecherous as it may be - was Sanji's pride. That's why Zoro was giving him leeway they couldn't actually afford.

Gaston led them out the village. It actually didn't take long, if you knew where you were going. They emerged from a narrow alley created by two warehouses reeking of gutted fish and seawater. A raised boardwalk led to a long stretch of sandy beach. The raccoon jumped off the boardwalk to the sand below.

'Hey!' Sanji had to yell to be heard over the storm and the roaring surf. 'What's this parade?'

Gaston stood next to a rowing boat with a hanging lantern dangling wildly in the wind. An eerie green light shimmered in the glass casing. He took the rope attached to the front of the rowboat and slung it over his shoulder. 'What are you looking at?' he shouted. 'Never seen a raccoon pull a rowboat before?'

No, but Zoro was overjoyed to add a freakishly strong talking critter to his must-have-seen list. After the blue-nosed one with the pink hat.

Since he didn't seem to need any help pulling the boat, they followed the raccoon to the shoreline.

'So what's this parade?' Sanji asked again, second cigarette lit. How the hell was he doing that in the rain? Waterproof ciggies?

'Here it comes now!' Gaston pointed at the sea. 'Dredged, dredged from the deep!'

Zoro looked from the animal to the surf. His eyes widened when he discerned something in the impregnable darkness beyond. Dredged from the deep…No way!

Cigarette number two hit the ground. So did Zoro's jaw. There was something shining deep under the water. A green light, like the one in the lantern. It was faint at first but quickly grew brighter and larger.

Zoro's hand dropped to his sword. A glowing, green pool of light three times as big as the Thousand Sunny lit up the water.

A main mast broke the surface of the water. The top had been snapped off, the remains of a tattered sail were still attached. It pierced the darkness like a lance, sheathed in glowing green smoke. The deck of a massive ship parted the waves, its bulk heaving under the strain. Two more masts emerged, one intact, the other broken halfway.

The ship was just the first of many. One by one, a fleet of massive ships rose from ocean. The sound of old wood creaking grew louder and louder until it drowned out the surf. Countless glowing spots moved across the darkness of the decks. They reminded Zoro of the eyes he had seen on the hilltop.

When the last ship had surfaced, a gust of wind passed over the beach as if the sea was sighing with effort.

'Th-That's the parade?' Sanji yelled.

Gaston cackled. 'Quiver in your boots, mateys! One night a year, these feared, cursed pirates rise from the deep in an effort to…break their curse,' the animal finished awkwardly.

'What curse?'

Gaston let go of the rope and jumped in the boat.

'The captain will tell you. He loves to tell everyone. Wouldn't want to rob him of that pleasure. Come on, get us in the water!'

Zoro and Sanji exchanged a look. Going anywhere near a fleet of ghost ships in a raging thunderstorm seemed like a Very Bad Idea, but they had no choice. That's where the damsel in distress was and come hell or high water, Sanji would go after her.

Though in this case, hell seemed more likely. Zoro put his shoulder behind the boat and pushed into it into the sea. Sanji took the oars.

They would have gotten there faster if the wind wasn't trying to blow them back to shore. Maybe they should listen to the elements.

Gaston led them through the giant bulks. Zoro wasn't easily intimidated, but these ships did the trick. They had spent a long, long time under water. From up close he could barnacles growing on the weathered hulls. Curtains of sea weed had gotten stuck in large gaping holes bearing the marks of cannon fire and...giant teeth?

There was movement on the deck, shapes scurrying about. The same glowing eyes he had seen on the hill, now looking down on them as they passed by. He heard fragments of songs over the howling wind, swearing, hollow laughter.

The raccoon stopped the rowing boat next to the flagship. It was even larger than Brook's old one. He waved excitedly. 'Captain!'

'Gaston!'

Zoro looked up at the sound of Bonney's voice.

'All right, now play it smart,' Zoro began. 'We sh-'

Sanji launched himself onto rotted netting lining the hull and climbed up. Zoro swore and set after him. He could barely keep up. That idiot and his pervert-powered legs! Sanji had already climbed over the gunwale and was lighting a cigarette by the time Zoro reached it.

'Welcome to the Lady Glaive.' Bonney smiled amiably from under his hat. His teeth and eyes were back to normal. 'I'm glad you decided to come. The more the merrier.'

Sanji calmly walked up to him and took a long drag from his cigarette.

'What the hell is with your crew!' he exploded.

Bonney looked slightly pained, as if Sanji had just told him he had a dirty deck that needed mopping. Zoro felt rather pained too. The glowing eyes that had sent a chill down his spine...He'd been intimidated by...

'They're all raccoons!' Sanji yelled. The deck was swarming with them, all of them dressed and standing on their haunches. Being night creatures their eyes would reflect in the dark.

'That would be the curse,' Bonney stated gravely. 'The curse of Mochi Island.'

Zoro snapped out of his square-eyed blinking. 'Mochi Island? I've never heard of it.'

'Pray that you never lay eyes upon it. That place is akin to the very pits of hell.'

Bonney shivered slightly. 'It is where my crew and I were cursed.'

Some complaintive, angry muttering arose from the crew.

'Got turned into raccoons, except for you?'

'Nothing gets past this one,' Gaston muttered. He gulped when Sanji gave him a critter-on-a-stick look.

'She reserved a different kind of curse for me.'

'She?' Sanji asked, attention right back on Bonney.

'She Who Must Not be Named!' the raccoons chanted in tune with Bonney.

'One of the great beauties of the Grand Line.' Bonney looked between Zoro and Sanji at a distant point on the horizon. 'Her hair was as a wet fleece of gold and each separate hair as a thread of fine gold in a cup of glass.'

A new pair of eyes began glowing next to Zoro's.

'Her body was as white ivory and her tail was of silver and pearl. Silver and pearl was her tail and the green weeds of the sea coiled round it.'

Zoro groaned. The only thing worse than a pervert was a pervert poet.

'And like seashells were her ears and her lips like sea coral. The waves dashed over her cold arms and the salt glistened upon her eyelids.'

'A mermaid?' Sanji crooned. Bonney returned from that faraway place and put his hat back on, pulling the brim down to shield himself from the pervert twinkle that burst forth into a lighthouse glare.

'Nay, if only she were. Her kind are akin to mermaids, but they are far more sinister. Sirens!'

First Zoro had heard of them. They must be pretty rare, maybe even unique to a certain place in the Grand Line.

'Witches of the deep, beautiful and terrible, luring poor souls to their doom with their song. Once you hear it, you can do naught but their bidding. They cause ships to sink and pull the poor wretches who survive down to the darkness with them. And some get an even unluckier fate.'

'Oh they can pull me down!' Sanji crowed. 'Pull me down into the darkness, beautiful nee-chans of the deep!'

'Raving idiots should be pulled down and die,' Gaston muttered. The lighthouse glare focused to a menacing laser.

'What was that, you bastard? Want me to turn you into steak?'

'You're the ones who got an unluckier fate then?' Zoro asked while the cook chased his favorite food group across the deck. Bonney nodded.

'She took a liking to me. At first I was overjoyed. The likes of her I had never seen before. When I first laid eyes upon her, I was as a doomed man. I didn't know how doomed, however. When I learned of her true nature, I left her. She didn't take it very well.'

Gaston, all four paws spread wide, sailed between Zoro and Bonney. Bonney plucked him out the air with lightning speed. His hand dropped to Sanji's shoulder at the same time. It looked like a harmless gesture, but Zoro recognized movements that wasted no time or effort, so calculated and precise they looked casual to the untrained eye.

Zoro's hand flexed round Shūsui. He had to make a conscious effort to stop himself from pulling the sword. Shūsui was reacting. He could feel the blade's beckoning against the palm of his hand. Power called power to itself. If Zoro had doubts before, that gesture by Bonney cleared them up completely. He was strong. Very strong. If the man did turn out to be an enemy, he would be a force to reckon with.

Sanji had realized it too. He'd flinched under Bonney's hand, just a split second.

'Now now, don't bully my first mate, lad.' Bonney patted Gaston's head. 'It would have been less dire had she not cursed my crew along with me. These poor bastards have done nothing to deserve this. And she made sure my curse was all the more terrible for me, by dangling a thin thread of hope in front of me.'

'A way to break the curse?' Zoro asked. He had a feeling he knew where this was going, and he didn't like it. He didn't like the fact that Bonney wasn't letting go of Sanji either. From where he stood, he would be too late to stop him if the guy did anything.

Sanji let out a slow puff of smoke. The wind picked it up and blew it straight in Bonney's face. Really, what the hell was with those freaky cigarettes staying lit in a storm even? Maybe Franky had done something to them. Wouldn't put it past him.

Sanji shifted his shoulder to shake Bonney's hand off. Zoro narrowed his eyes. Was he imagining it? For a split-second, he thought he saw the flash of a toothy grin.

'Yes,' Bonney said gravely. 'One night a year, I can become human again and my crew and I can come to shore to find my true love. When I find her and she agrees to marry me, then the curse will be broken and we will be free.'

There it was. Elaine. Bonney had found his bride. Or rather, she had found him. Talk about running down the wrong hill.

'You've brought us together. For that, I'll be forever grateful. Thanks to you, I have found my true love.'

There were some weak yay's and some definite incredulous sounds coming from the raccoons.

'Sixteenth time lucky,' Gaston said with all the vigor of a wet mop. 'Oh, he's found one every year, easy enough what with his looks, but it never works out!' Gaston's eyes suddenly bulged. He stuck his tongue out and wagged his tail. Zoro thought he was having some kind of a seizure, but then he realized this was likely his way of expressing annoyance. 'The captain has the worst luck with women. The worst! I don't know what it is, but he always attracts the weird ones. Why there was that one with the wooden leg-'

'Gaston,' Bonney warned.

'Not to mention there's the fleet getting dragged up every time. I don't know how much longer the ships can take it.'

'Gaston.'

The raccoon clapped its claws together. 'But that ends tonight,' he said, forcing his snout into a cheery grin. It was all the more creepy. 'Tonight he weds.'

'Like hell he will,' Sanji said, tone lazy, drooping cigarette teetering on the edge of his lips. 'She's not your true love.'

'Yes, she is,' Bonney said.

'No, she isn't.'

'Yes, she is.'

'No, she isn't!' Sanji's curly brow twitched. 'You just met!'

'Ever heard of love at first sight?'

Sanji gave Bonney a truculent look. 'Who'd go for a kidnapping pervert like you?'

Zoro gawked at his crewmate. Like he had a right to call anyone a pervert!

Sanji started, his frame tensing when Bonney's eyes suddenly glowed faintly. His mouth changed just as quickly, turning into an eager slasher smile of razor sharp teeth. Zoro hadn't been seeing things. He was sure now that was the grin he had seen earlier, when Sanji had shaken his hand off. But why? Sanji was being rude to him, so why was he-

'I must admit, I'm a little disappointed. Here I found a lass to my liking, but...' Bonney lifted a hand towards Sanji. Zoro started to draw Shūsui, then stared slack-jawed when all Bonney did was tap a gloved finger on Sanji's nose. 'Her fire is right here.'

He shrugged, face returning to normal. 'Well, she has many other redeeming qualities. Gaston!'

'Yes, captain?'

'Bring our guests to their room. We have a wedding to prepare for!'

'Aye sir!'

With that Bonney tapped his hat in greeting and strolled to the decrepit aft of the ship. He disappeared through a half rotted door.

Zoro walked up to the withered, paper thin white silhouette billowing in the wind.

'That must be the first time I've seen you get hit on,' he said pensively. 'So you can score.'

It took Sanji a few seconds to transform back and explode. Zoro ducked and evaded a kick that split the air. Luckily for Gaston it passed clean over him.

'Watch were you kick!' the Glaive's first mate yelped. Zoro had to duck again almost immediately and draw his swords when Sanji let loose a barrage of kicks. The mass of raccoons split apart, critters running to all directions.

'Knock it off, you idiots!' Gaston shouted. 'The deck! The deck!'

It wasn't the raccoon's warning that stopped Sanji's blind rage. It was the sound coming from beneath their feet.

They looked at each other across Sanji's foot pressing against the flat of Zoro's blades. Then they looked down, at the rotting, soaked floorboards of the deck. Supporting the pitter patter of little raccoon feet was one thing, having the feet of grown men stomping on it at full force was another.

'Shi—'

'You idiots!'

Gaston's yell accompanied them down a fall through three decks. Zoro managed to land on his feet, so did Sanji.

The floor creaked.

'You've got to be ki—' Sanji began. The floor gave way beneath them. Zoro managed to grab the splintered end of a wooden plank. Sanj hadn't managed to latch onto anything and fell through. Less weight coming down, so with any luck, he wouldn't crash through a floor again. Zoro reached up to grab another floorboard. His fingers brushed the edge of it when the one he was holding snapped off.

'Goddam—Whoa!'

He was plucked out of the air, a pair of legs seemingly coming out of nowhere to lock around his waist.

'Whu….' It was just about all he could manage, having the air knocked out of his lungs.

'What ho, flying marimo,' Sanji's smug voice said right behind his ear.

'Who's a flying marimo!' Zoro barked. Of all the undignified positions! Swinging back and forth from the ceiling between Sanji's legs like a monkey from a vine!

Sanji must have gotten hold of a rope or something while falling down. Zoro looked up. Yeah, a rope tied to a hook in the ceiling. Considering both the hook and rope were in as crappy a shape as the rest of the ship, Sanji lowering them slowly and carefully was probably a good idea.

They were in some kind of large hold, but it was too dark to make out anything specific. What he could see though was that the rope had rotted about three quarters down. When they got to the end of it, Zoro braced himself when Sanji let go and dropped him.

He landed in a crouch, bracing himself for another fall. The floorboards creaked dangerously, but held.

'Is it safe down there, heavyweight?'

'Who's a heavyweight?' Zoro yelled upwards. Sanji grinned. He dropped down, dark flitting through dark, and landed a foot away from Zoro.

'Hm. Is it my imagination, or was there less creaking?'

'You just landed on a stronger spot!'

Zoro heard him chuckle in the dark. There was a click, Sanji's lighter snapping on. The grin on his face faded when he looked at Zoro. No, not at Zoro. Behind him, with wide, horrified eyes.

'N-no way….'

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a cliffie!