Heart and Soul — VIII
The first thing Rukia noticed as consciousness gradually returned to her was that she was in somebody's arms. It was a shocking revelation. She opened her eyes slowly, pulling her head away to look up at whoever was holding her. And her heart nearly stopped.
Ichigo…
He was okay, he was alive. He was still himself. Rukia felt as if she was dreaming as she looked into her friend's normally sullen face. He was peaceful in sleep. "Oh thank God." She murmured, her voice cracking. She buried her face in his chest again, breathing deeply. "Thank God you're okay."
"I should be saying that about you." He murmured. His familiar voice sent shock waves through her. Some part of her brain registered that this just wasn't right. Why was she so…so happy to see him? Why did she feel as if her world was complete just because he was there? She hadn't even been this happy to see Renji, a childhood friend that she hadn't seen in six years. It had only been a couple of days since she had seen Ichigo. Something was wrong…
But at that moment she didn't care. She'd think about it later. "What happened?" Ichigo asked after a minute, pulling her away from him so they could look at each other. Strange how she regretted the separation. "And please don't say Seekers came. I figured that out on my own…"
Rukia sighed. "Well, you were gone, so the door was open, obviously, and a couple of Seekers searched the cabin. They weren't very smart about it, they didn't leave anybody outside to guard. I decked them with the lantern and ran. There was another group not far away though, so I…jumped into the river." She mumbled that last part. Ichigo still heard it though. He burst out laughing. "Shut up, it's not funny!"
"I think it is." He managed to say between chuckles. "You get mad at me for suggesting something like that, then you go and do the exact same thing—"
"Okay, a, it wasn't an ocean, and b, it wasn't the middle of thunder-storm!" Rukia shouted, annoyed. Her voice tore through her throat and she doubled over coughing. Ichigo sobered up at once, and his arms were back around her, cradling her, comforting her. She sucked in a deep, shuddery breath as she tried to steady herself. They sat in silence for a few minutes while Rukia tried to recover from her fit. Sunlight — coming in from a small, round-ish hole in the ceiling — bathed them. "How long have you been here?" She asked finally, careful to keep her voice low.
"Since last night." He said, obviously grateful to her for breaking the awkward air around them. "It was a really hard couple of days…you wouldn't believe what I found out though."
Rukia twisted her neck to look up at Ichigo. "Such as…"
"Well, there are other humans in the forest." Rukia snorted. "Okay, obvious. But I meant more than even who you've seen here. I don't remember the exact number all together, each group Kyoraku told me about had about five people…I figured about twenty all together — more or less."
"Wow, you did all that math in your head. Congratulations." She ducked away from Ichigo as he raised his hand as if to hit her, laughing. The sudden movement upset Ichigo's balance though, and he fell over. Right on top of her. Her breath came out in a surprised puff. "Ow." She managed to huff, struggling to get out from under him. "Get off you big brute."
"Sorry—"
A surprised gasp cut Ichigo's apology short. Rukia twisted her neck and saw an unfamiliar woman standing in the entrance of the room, a plastic sheet in her hands; there were two bowls and two water bottles on the sheet. She was obviously trying not to laugh. Ichigo twisted around as well to look at the new-comer. His face turned beet red.
"Ah…hey Nanao." Ichigo pulled himself off of Rukia quickly, ducking his head. "That was not what you thought it was—"
"Of course, of course." Nanao pursed her lips together as she walked over and knelt down next to Ichigo, setting the tray beside him. Her eyes met Rukia's for a brief second, and she looked away at once, traces of any smile gone. Rukia made a face. "You'd better eat." She murmured as she stood up. "Isane tends to get a little…testy if people don't take care of themselves the way they should."
She shuffled away without another word. Ichigo stared after her, his face almost conflicted. "Well…you heard her." He said finally, picking up a bowl and handing it to Rukia. She looked at the bowl in Ichigo's hands, and her stomach turned. She groaned and fell back on her pillow. "Rukia, you have to eat…"
"Not a chance." She pulled the blanket over her head, hiding her face. Ichigo sighed and set the bowl back on the tray.
"As attractive a look as that is, Rukia, come out." She didn't answer. Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Come on Rukia. Don't be like that. You're not going to get better if you refused to eat."
Rukia peaked out from under the covers. Her eyes were drawn and weary. It almost reminded Ichigo of how she had looked the first time he had seen her; the look of a person who had lived too many lifetimes. But then, didn't they all have the same look? They'd survived the end of the world, after all. Anybody who had lived this long was considered ancient.
"I'll eat it later, okay?" Ichigo huffed impatiently. Why did Rukia have to be so freaking stubborn? And worse, Ichigo wanted her to have her own way. He was more than willing to give to her. When had he turned so soft?
He took a minute to look Rukia over. He'd always been amazed by how small she was. How fragile she looked. As if he could take her between his fingers and break her like a twig. But he knew better. He knew how strong she really was. Knew that she could hold her own better than anyone he'd ever met. Knew that she could be downright scary when she wanted to be.
As he looked at her now though, he couldn't find any of that strength. As if it had all just drained away in the two days they had been separated. As if it were her life, ebbing away from her. And he remembered what she'd told him about her sister; how her sister had fallen ill not long after the invasion…how her sister had died…
"Why are you staring at me?" She demanded, an annoyed look crossing her features. He jerked back to reality, out of the frightening fantasy his mind had created. A world where Rukia didn't exist.
"Nothing. I mean, no reason." He picked up the bowl again and shoved it into her hands. "Now eat, or I'm going to find Isane."
The threat seemed to work. Rukia grumbled as she picked up a soon and started eating the soup. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Rukia sulking, Ichigo pondering. He was only just beginning to see how much his existence depended on Rukia. How tightly tied together their lives were.
"Are you okay?" Rukia demanded suddenly, annoyance crossing her features. Ichigo snapped back again, staring at her. "Why do you keep looking at me like you expect me to disappear? I'm not going anywhere Ichigo."
"You don't know that for sure." He hadn't meant to say that. Oh sure, he had been thinking it, but she wasn't supposed to hear it.
She raised an eyebrow, confused. "What do you mean? Look, Ichigo, what happened before…it was just a fluke. I doubt it's going to happen again."
She didn't understand. "Just don't…do anything, all right? Anything that's going to…to take you away from me, I mean."
He could feel his cheeks heating up. God he was pathetic. Rukia paused for moment; when she spoke it was slow and deliberate. "What…do you…"
"Whoops. Er…I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"
It was only then that Ichigo realized how close together they were. Ichigo — his cheeks growing hotter still — pulled away quickly, jerking around to face the new-comer.
"Renji!" Rukia gasped, surprise filling her voice. "Don't do that…you nearly gave me a heart attack!"
The red-haired teen — Renji — grinned. "You mean I didn't succeed? Damn, I'll just have to try harder next time."
Rukia stuck her tongue out at him, annoyed. Ichigo noticed Isane standing behind Renji, her face crumpled in disappointed. This could only mean he'd been unsuccessful in finding any medicine. Ichigo scowled as he stood up. Rukia, to his great surprise, grabbed his wrist as he moved, stopping him. He looked back and saw a similar look of surprise in her eyes.
"Where are you going?" She asked, just failing to sound casual. Her hand dropped away from him quickly. He tried not to be too disappointed as he answered.
"Just want to…talk to Kyoraku and Ukitake about something. Be back in a minute." He shoved his hands — clenched into fists — into his pockets and left.
Rukia stared after Ichigo. The need to run after him became almost unbearable. "How do you feel?" Renji asked, kneeling down next to her, snapping her back to reality. "Sorry I couldn't find anything…medicine is hard to come by around here."
Rukia laid back on her pillow, sighing. "It's not your fault. Why the hell are you apologizing?"
Renji chuckled as he crossed his legs, getting comfortable. Rukia tucked her arms under her head, staring up at the ceiling, and wondering vaguely what Ichigo was up to…
"I fail to see how going out and looking is going to help anything, Ichigo." Kyoraku said lazily, taking a long swig from his water bottle. "Renji already searched everywhere, it's not like you'll magically uncover something he missed."
"You never know." Ichigo insisted. He didn't want to sit around and watch Rukia get slowly worse. Not if there was something he could do about it. "I'm sure I could find something. If my car is still in it's hiding spot, I could go further than Renji did, find something — I could do something. Let me go."
Ukitake and Kyoraku exchanged long glances. Nanao, who was tucked securely under Kyoraku's good arm, opened her mouth to speak. "I could—"
"We've been over this Nanao-chan." Kyoraku said firmly. "Don't even bother suggesting it."
"You're being impractical Shunsui — I could help."
"No."
"But it's an emergency—"
"No."
Ichigo couldn't follow a word they were saying. Ukitake seemed to get it though. "Shunsui maybe you should listen to her. She's right after all, it is an emergency — if it was just a matter of her trying to be helpful that'd be different, but we're close to desperate now—"
"Figure out another way then. You wouldn't ask any of the others to do this, would you Jyuushiro?"
"It's different. She's got a better cover—"
"No."
"Um…" Ichigo wasn't overly sure what to say. "What are you guys talking about?"
All three jumped; obviously they'd forgotten Ichigo was standing right in front of them. "It's nothing." Kyoraku said, his voice amazingly rough. "Just Nanao-chan being silly, as usual—"
"Do you not trust me?" Her voice was low. "Is that why you won't let me? Do you not trust me at all?"
Kyoraku looked down at her in surprise, then pulled her tightly against him, crushing her into his chest. "You know I trust you…I'd trust you with my life. But it's dangerous Nanao-chan—"
"That doesn't stop Hitsugaya-kun, Matsumoto-san, Hinamori-san, you, or anyone else." Nanao reminded him, her voice slightly muffled.
"They don't go walking right into the heart of the enemy." Kyoraku said, kissing the top of her head. "What you want to do…it's two steps short of a successful suicide."
Ichigo looked to Ukitake for an explanation. The white-haired man sighed. "It's an on-going argument between the two of them. Nanao knows, with her eyes, it'd be possible —no, more than just possible, it'd be easy — for her to go anywhere in public, get supplies for everyone else. So much easier than stealing, and safer too. But Shunsui won't hear of it. Nanao's not the most talented liar, and all it would take would be one Seeker to catch a false note, and we could all be real trouble."
Ichigo nodded silently. He understood. Still…this seemed like too good of an opportunity to pass up…it was an interesting dilemma. His mind was screaming for him to argue with Kyoraku, convince him to let Nanao go. Ichigo would be there too, of course. He'd help her in any way he could. It was the perfect plan.
"No, Nanao-chan."
Kyoraku's voice was final. Ichigo grinded his teeth together. "Fine, I'll go on my own, I don't care."
He turned to leave. Ukitake grabbed his shoulder, holding him back. "If Abarai-kun didn't find anything, I doubt you will. Have faith in her, Kurosaki-kun. She just has to fight this, to get better on her own."
Ichigo resisted the urge to scream. Didn't they realize what they were asking him to do? Didn't they realize that they were asking him to sit around and watch her die?
Ichigo stared at about where Rukia's face would probably be. It was dark, so he couldn't really see her, just her thin outline in the blanket. He rested a hand on the cloth laid across her forehead. Even through that, he could feel the heat radiating off her skin. He sighed as he took the cloth and dipped it into the bowl of water, wringing it out before setting it on her forehead again.
Useless. Why was he so fucking useless?
"Kurosaki-kun?"
Ichigo jumped a mile and looked over his shoulder. At the same time a flashlight clicked on, hitting him in the eyes. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear out the black spots that had burst to life before his sight. "Sorry." Nanao sighed, swiveling the light to face the wall to their left. "Maybe I should stop using these things…I keep blinding you…"
"It's all right." Ichigo rubbed his eyes, still blinking fast. "What's up, Nanao?"
She knelt down next to him, her dark eyes serious. He could just make out a faint shimmer around her irises. "Kurosaki-kun," she said slowly, her voice drawn out and deliberate, "do you trust me?"
His answer amazed him. "Yes…I do."
She nodded and stood up. "Okay then. We'd better move fast, Shunsui's a light sleeper, he's bound to notice soon that I'm gone."
Ichigo looked up at her, bewildered. "W-What? Go where?"
To his surprise, Nanao rolled her eyes — she looked almost exasperated. "To get medicine for her, of course! It's going to be tricky, we'll have to rob a hospital…I know where they get deliveries and everything though, I was a Healer for the short time I was in the society. It shouldn't be too hard. I'd go alone if I thought I could get away with it, but I don't want to go anywhere close to here…you said you had a car, right?"
Ichigo nodded, his body numb. "Then what's the problem?"
She turned to leave. "Why would you do this?" Ichigo asked, pushing himself onto his knees. "Why would you do this for her, you don't know her."
Nanao paused, looking back at him. It took her a minute to answer. "No matter how hard I try to deny it," she said finally, "I am a soul. It's against my very being to watch someone suffer and not at least try to help. I wouldn't be able to look at myself again if I let her die knowing I could have helped."
Ichigo nodded, looking between Nanao and Rukia. On the one hand, he hated to leave her again, after only one day. But on the other…he wanted nothing more than to save her. Surely she'd understand. "All right." He said, not taking his eyes off Rukia. "Let's get it in gear then."
He swooped down, taking the cloth off her forehead and brushing his lips lightly against her skin. "I'll be back soon." He murmured. "I promise. Please…please wait for me, Rukia."
He stood up, turning to face Nanao, who had an all-knowing look in her eyes. He tried to ignore it. "All right. Let's go."
Author's Note: Well…really. You didn't actually expect Ichigo to just sit around and watch her die, did you? /ducks as random fruit is thrown at her/ Oh come on now…don't worry, they'll be reunited again soon. Reviewing will bring them together again faster! — Sam (Check my profile for updates on my other stories).
