Chapter Nine

Unclean

"Mr. Potter, what …what are you doing?" Severus backed away from Harry's open arms, "Unhand me at once, Potter! I don't need your pity hug."

But Harry moved to embrace Snape anyway, well aware of the risks.

"I'll put you in a body bind, you stupid boy. Get off!" Severus repeated, although he didn't even sound that annoyed.

"It seems I am the one who has you in a body bind, professor," Harry commented with adorable insolence, "Besides, I'm only returning the favour. As you'll recall, this isn't the first time we've found ourselves in such an awkward position."

"I rather thought we had both endured enough discomfiture for one day," Snape groaned, carefully untangling himself from Harry's unsolicited hold, "You really must learn not to wear your heart on your sleeve. No good can come of this."

"This?" Harry queried curiously, "And what exactly is this? Our relationship, you mean?"

"I am not having a relationship with you, Potter," Severus remarked callously, "You're a student, and a physically undeveloped and intellectually mediocre one at that. As for me, I am a very troubled, nasty old man. That said, I have no desire to join the ranks of child-molesting headmasters, thank you very much."

"I am not a child," Harry responded quietly, knowing it to be absolutely true, "You wouldn't be doing anything wrong."

"Potter, it does not matter to me that you are of age. It will never matter to me how old you are; you will never be anything more than a disobedient little boy to me," Snape commented stonily, "Speaking of which, I do believe it's well past your bedtime."

"You can't be serious," Harry sounded defeated.

"Have you ever known me to kid?" Severus quirked an eyebrow.

"Listen, I know it's none of my business, sir, though I suppose you sort of made it my business by showing me those memories…. All the same, you've got nothing to be ashamed of, professor. None of that was your fault. You're not some pervert or bad person."

"Why, thank you, Mr. Potter, for that enlightening bit of wisdom," Snape said silkily, "Though it is somewhat ironic that you are absolving me of perversion only so that I might accept your invitation to sin."

Harry rolled his eyes.

"You really are impossible. I don't know why I even bother sometimes."

Snape turned away for a brief moment. If Harry didn't know any better, the old ogre almost seemed hurt. And then…

"I don't understand why you bother with me either, Potter. But rest assured, I know you're up to something, and I'm going to find out what. Rumour has it you've been sighted outside Hogwarts grounds, in the Forest of Dean with your little friends. Bet you didn't know I was aware of that, did you?"

For the first time that evening, Harry looked truly afraid. Did Snape know his secret? Did the headmaster know he had travelled through time to engage in passionate make-up sex with him? Did Severus know all of this and was denying him anyway?

"You're to return directly to your dormitory, Mr. Potter," Severus steered Harry towards the door, "I will be commencing my evening rounds in approximately twenty minutes and Merlin help you if I catch you out of bed at the witching hour."

"No, wait!"

"Consider yourself officially ejected from my rooms, Potter. Goodnight."


Well, fuck. That was somewhat disappointing, Harry thought to himself as he meandered through the dungeons, in no real hurry to return to Gryffindor tower.

Maybe coming clean with Snape was the only way into his abnormally tight robes.

Severus had said he was physically undeveloped for his age, which was true. Maybe aging a few years, or ten, overnight wouldn't hurt?

Impulsively, Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out a vial of what he thought to be aging potion. A few swigs later, he realized his grave error in judgement.

A quick trip to the men's room confirmed it. He had consumed a copious amount of DE-aging potion and was officially eleven years old all over again.

Snape had made it quite clear that he was not a paedophile, and so this somewhat impeded Harry's plans for seduction.

No matter. Harry could just break into Slughorn's stores in the morning and rectify the situation, right?

Wrong.

Around the corner came a fuming Severus Snape, ready to castigate an errant first-year pupil whose only crime was finding himself in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"You! Child! Turn around when I'm speaking to you! Twenty points from…"

"Gryffindor?" Harry ventured quietly, not wanting to show his face, 'I'm in Gryffindor, sir. Go ahead and take the points. I'll go straight back to bed."

"I know that voice," Snape observed thoughtfully, "Hmm. And I've seen this all before. Yes."

"What do you m—"

"Potter. Turn around, you stupid boy. How you got your hands on a time-turner, I have no idea. Dumbledore, I wager."

Severus turned a prepubescent Harry around and summarily pulled the time-turner out from the front of his robes.

"Aha. Yes, just as I suspected. It's back to first year with you, baby Potter. Rest assured you will be duly penalized for your foolish actions upon your return. Let's say I give you a fifteen second head start, shall we?"

"No! Sir! You misunderstand!" Harry scrambled to explain, but before he knew it he was falling backwards through time yet again.

Exactly fifteen seconds after he landed feet-first in 1991, a slightly younger looking Snape came swooping down on him like a vulture, plucking the time-turner from his scrawny neck and confiscating it for safekeeping.

"POTTER!" Severus admonished, and Harry jumped, having forgotten how scary it was to have Snape's dark figure towering over him, "A time-turner? I could have you expelled for the possession of it alone! Time-turners are controlled objects in the wizarding world. Of course, you would have known that had you ever cracked open a book since you've started at Hogwarts! Where have you come from? More importantly, from what hour? Merlin forbid, from what month? What year?"

"If I told you that, sir, I'd have to Obliviate you," Harry said softly, meeting Severus' arcane glare.

"Very well," Snape finally said, bemused, "I'd like to see you try."