Chapter 9 - The Dead
The spirit of justice stared at the gates in front of it. The human spirits in the village were scared, they were angry, they were confused. Most of them thought they could go back home if they only defeated the Baroness.
It would've been fair to tell them that it was impossible to go back, but sometimes justice needs to be a little blind and ignore impossible wishes and even the truth. The most important thing was to defeat the Baroness. And he couldn't do it alone. He needed these people.
But... These people were ordinary, with no combat skills other than what was needed at a tavern brawl. And their feelings, all that fear, hope, love, loss, they made them unpredictable. Unreliable. Would they be enough to defeat the Baroness with their feelings and wishes?
The spirit of justice didn't understand their feelings. It had never felt anything. It was justice, it had a duty, but that was all. It didn't do its duty because it felt anger towards the evil and love towards the good and downtrodden. It did so because it was its duty. Although, when the spirit of justice looked at the closed gates, at the dark shape of the mansion before him, and thought about the twisted creature inside that place, it could almost imagine what it felt like to hate.
...
The body of Kristoff lay on the cold ground. Blackmarsh was a wet place, but it was also cold at that time of the year, so the body hadn't decomposed much. There was a pool of blood under Kristoff's body. There was no more Kristoff.
When he'd travelled to Blackmarsh, he'd thought about his wife. It was unwise for Grey Wardens to marry, because having a child became much more difficult, and because at some point there would be the time to say goodbye and head for the Deep Roads and a gruesome death. When a Grey Warden married, there was always heartbreak.
The problem with human heart, however, is that sometimes it forgets the facts, ignores the sensible thing to do and falls. And is caught by someone who keeps it and gives their heart in return. Kristoff had loved Aura, loved her so much he wanted to spare him the misery of being married to a Grey Warden. But Aura had pointed out he should spare her the misery of not being married to Kristoff. Of not being with the man she loved. So his heart had given in.
Kristoff had thought about Aura when he'd travelled to Balckmarsh. He'd thought about her when he'd searched the place for clues, trying to ignore the fear that crept into his heart at every strange rustle, at every moving shadow. And after he'd been attacked, when he'd slumped to the ground, tried to reach for his weapon and known that he couldn't get up anymore, when he'd felt his blood flow out of the wound, when he'd felt his body coming to a stop... He'd thought about Aura.
When Kristoff had died, the last thought, the last feeling he'd had was love.
...
Nathaniel sat on the large stone and stared at the village of Blackmarsh in the distance. Although they could've reached the village before nightfall and made camp there, an unsaid statement had hung in the air around the whole group; we will not go into that village when it's getting dark.
"It really does look like it's haunted, doesn't it?" Nathaniel had heard her approach, but hadn't turned around. He enjoyed listening to the sound of her movements, the twigs breaking under her feet, the light creak from her leather armour. He liked the feeling of anticipation before she reached him and sat down next to him, her hip brushing against his.
"You're scared?" Nathaniel asked and Sarah rolled her eyes, resisting the urge to stick her tongue out at the man.
"Cautious," she replied with a little smile and looked towards the village. "I don't know if there are any ghosts there, but there's something evil. Something... Not darkspawn, at least not so many I could sense them, but something." She realized she wasn't making much sense, but to her surprise, and delight, Nathaniel nodded.
"I know what you mean," he said. "The place feels wrong. It's like there's something dark and heavy hanging over the entire area."
"Why couldn't there be happy places with no darkspawn and with people going about their lives? Even once it would be nice to find a village where everything was fine, with, I don't know, sheep grazing peacefully and little children running after butterflies," Sarah sighed, but with a little smile on her lips, and Nathaniel laughed and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her against him.
"There will be one day, my..." Love, say it, you know you want to say it! Nathaniel almost froze at his own thoughts, egging him on to territory he wasn't familiar with. "...dear," he finished meekly, wondering if she'd noticed the pause, if it had been as long to her as it had felt like to him.
"That's what people said after the Archdemon fell," Sarah sighed and then looked at Nathaniel. "But it's still nice to hear," she added and kissed him.
She had meant it to be just a quick little kiss, to show how much she appreciated him being there, for caring and trying to cheer her up. Just one kiss before they returned to the camp, nothing more, but her hands went to his hair, to his neck, while his hands caressed her face, her back, pulled her closer... It should've been just a quick little kiss, but then she was on his lap, straddling him, their lips meeting again and again, his hands caressing her back and pulling her against him, her hips moving in the rhythm of their kisses.
"Sarah," Nathaniel breathed out between kisses and then groaned as her hips moved down and he knew she could feel his arousal even through his armour. "I... We can't..."
"You're right," she said, as out of breath as he was, trying to shift her position and causing another stifled moan from Nathaniel. "You're right, but..." She kissed him again, hungrily, and he wondered how easy it would be to strip away her armour, then strip away his own, to push her down on the bed of grass and dead leaves and...
"I hate to interrupt your mating, but the dwarf was supposed to keep watch and he's passed out. So I thought our leader should decide if she wants to wake him up or take his watch." Velanna's approach had made no sound; she had lived in the forests her entire life and if she wanted to move unheard, she could do so.
"Oh, Maker!" Sarah got up, blushing, and her eyes darted from Nathaniel to Velanna. "I'll... I'll go and... I'll go!" She almost fled towards the camp and the bright light from the fire. Velanne cocked her head as she looked at Nathaniel.
"Would you like a few moments alone to deal with your... situation?" she asked, venom dripping from every word. "Don't worry, I'll leave."
"Wait, we need to talk!" Nathaniel almost got up, but then decided it was wiser to remain sitting, just for a little longer. Velanna eyed him haughtily.
"What could we possibly have to talk about?" she said. "I think you made yourself perfectly clear the last time we... spoke," her voice almost faltered, but her icy stare remained fixed on his.
"I want to apologize," Nathaniel said. "I led you on and I shouldn't have. I just found you interesting and I enjoyed talking with you. You're not afraid to speak your mind and defend your position, and that's admirable."
"But not admirable enough," Velanna said. "You chose someone else."
"I never meant it to happen like that," Nathaniel said. "You are a fascinating woman, but I…"
"Oh, please!" Velanna's voice sounded almost amused as she looked at him. "Say anything but 'it's not you, it's me', because I don't think that any woman actually believes that."
"It may be a cliché, but it's also the truth," Nathaniel shrugged. "I'm sorry for hurting you."
"It takes more than a rejection from a human to hut me," Velanna said, but her eyes did not meet Nathaniel's. "However, I suppose I'm… grateful for your kind words and your explanation."
"So can we go back to being friends?" Nathaniel asked.
"Friends? Were we ever truly friends?" Velanna looked at him. "But… Comrades, yes. And I'll try to get along with the others as well, although they are not making it easy. And," she continued when she saw Nathaniel was about to add something, "I'll behave around Sarah. None of this really was her fault, so I shouldn't have blamed her. Well, it doesn't matter anymore."
"So everything is fine between us?" Nathaniel asked. Velanna gave him a little smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"It will be, I think. Good night, Nathaniel," she said and disappeared among the trees. Nathaniel sighed and turned to look back towards the village, but the sight of the place was too unnerving and he headed towards the warmth and safety of the campfire.
…
"Look, about what happened last night…" Sarah slowed down her pace to walk next to Nathaniel. Oghren was walking in the front through the ruined village while Velanna followed the dwarf, her eyes scanning the surroundings alertly. "Not good. Not that I mean it didn't feel good, because it did, it's just that… Stop looking at me like that, you're making me forget what I was going to say!" she almost wailed. "I mean, something like that can't happen again. Not… out here, with the others around." She could feel herself blushing and hated it.
"I know," Nathaniel said, but couldn't resist touching her face with the feeble pretence of pushing a lock of hair from her face. Sarah swatted her hand away, not angrily, but firmly.
"When I'm with you, it's too easy to forget everything else. And out here that could mean easily ignoring a big scary darkspawn creeping at us," Sarah said, glancing at the others who had slowed down a little, either to wait for them or to hear their conversation better.
"You're right," Nathaniel said. "We need to… Well, I think we need to talk, but not right now. And before we get the chance to talk…"
"No excessive kissing or anything else that can be distracting," Sarah finished, trying very hard to ignore the snigger coming from the direction where Oghren was probably going through his list of innuendo to find something suitable for the occasion. "We're not teenagers, we're adults, and we should be able to act like adults."
"I can't help it if being in love with you makes me…" Nathaniel's voice faltered and Sarah's eyes widened. There it was, the word he'd wanted to say so many times now, but which he'd bitten back, partly because he wasn't certain if it was the time for it, but also because he wasn't certain if he really meant it. Somehow the word carried so much more meaning when he thought about Sarah. He couldn't just say it and then take it back, not with her. With her, it had to be for real.
"I think I've found your missing Warden!" Velanna called out, and Sarah turned away from Nathaniel, her heart beating much faster than it should have. Had he really just told her he loved her, or had that been just a slip of the tongue? All of that was too much to think of right then, so she hurried over to Velanna.
"Yes, that's probably Kristoff," Sarah sighed as she stared at the body on the ground. It had been there for some time, but the frost had probably preserved it, since it didn't look as bad as some of the corpses she'd come across. And to think there'd been a time in her life when coming across corpses was a rare, almost once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing.
"Whoever killed him, might still be here or might've left, so…" Sarah started to say, but then the familiar sensation tingled down her spine.
"Darkspawn, very near," Velanna said. Sarah nodded and they headed onwards, leaving Kristoff's body behind them.
Although they could sense the darkspawn, there were none to be seen, until a hurlock, carrying a mage's staff, appeared in front of them, looking worryingly confident.
"The Mother knew you'd come," it said, and Sarah stared at it in shock. Sure, the Architect had spoken, but he'd been different. Or maybe not as different as she'd thought.
"Who is the Mother?" Sarah asked and the hurlock grinned, or at least that's what she thought it did.
"You don't know? But you serve the Father, don't you? Evil Father, trying to undo everything the Mother wants to achieve."
"Father? Do you mean the Architect?" Sarah asked.
"Questions, questions, should I answer? No! I talk too much," the hurlock said, almost regretfully. "I must do now what Mother said. You must go." It raised its staff and Sarah could hear Nathaniel pulling back his bowstring and sensing an arrow towards the creature, but then
…
"No, I shouldn't be here! The spell, oh, Mother, why? Why did this happen?" The hurlock was screaming and then Sarah heard footsteps hurrying away as she opened her eyes and scanned her surroundings, which were strangely blurred and slightly out of focus.
"Oh, great, it's the Fade," she muttered as she got up from the ground, rubbing her elbow that she'd hit as she landed. Her companions were also getting to their feet and eyeing the surroundings.
"You've been here before?" Nathaniel asked, walking to her and touching her arm gently, then pulling his hand away like she'd burned him.
"Yes," Sarah turned to look at him and there was a moment of silence, a moment that needed to be filled with something, so she snatched the first conversation topic that popped into her mind when she thought about the Fade. "I turned into a mouse." It wasn't as important as 'do you really love me?', but it was the best she could do. Nathaniel's brow furrowed.
"A mouse?" he stared at her. "Don't you need to be a mage for that?"
"Fade has its own set of rules," Sarah said, the really important question still echoing in her mind, but a more pressing matter pushing it forcefully aside. "But I can tell you about those later. Right now we need to hurry."
"Time passes differently in here," Velanna explained as they set off through the warped village. Sarah found herself hoping that Anders was with them, since he had also some book knowledge of the place. But the Circle had finally given in and sent them reinforcements, if you could call a mage and his apprentice as reinforcements. To Anders wasn't there, and neither was Sigrun, who was helping to train the troops, since her experience with the Legion made her the most valuable source of information on darkspawn in the Vigil. And Floyd had sprained his leg when running after a rabbit and straight into a rabbit hole. Sarah was actually kind of glad the mabari wasn't in the Fade. He probably would've run after a bear demon or something because he'd be certain he could take it down.
"When you get sent into the Fade against your will, it's best to find your way out as soon as possible, or you might not have a body to return to anymore," Velanna continued, proving to Sarah that she had more than enough knowledge of the Fade and making her feel a little ashamed. She kept forgetting that while Velanna didn't have a Tower education, she had the cumulated knowledge of generations of Dalish mages. In some aspects, that was a lot better than the Chantry-regulated knowledge that was passed on in the Tower.
"That's what happened to Niall, a mage I met in the Fade. He hadn't been there that long, but… He couldn't return to his body anymore," Sarah sighed. For some reason, of all the people she hadn't really known but whose deaths she had witnessed, the loss of Niall hurt her the most. The mage had tried to do his best, despite of being afraid, and although without him they may have never gotten the Litany, it had cost him dearly.
"Please, oh please, help me!" A woman appeared in front of them, sobbing desperately. "You need to come now! Please, before it's too late" She turned and rushed off, towards a door at the side of one building.
"Is there a special Fade word for 'trap', or is it just the plain ol' 'trap'?" Oghren grunted.
"'Trap' will do nicely," Sarah said and drew her sword as they followed the woman into a dark corridor. If adventuring thought you anything, it was that 90 percent of damsels in distress, in fact, weren't.
…
The suspected trap had indeed been a trap, and not a good one at that. When they got out of the dark corridors, Sarah was surprised to see people. There was a whole village before them, people sitting on benches next to their houses, walking down the street. Walking towards the town square. As Sarah led the group into the square, they saw a spirit in a glimmering armour addressing the people.
"…we need to defeat the evil that lives here. I know you are…" the spirit's voice faded as its eyes turned to look at the newcomers. "Are you vile servants of the Baroness?" The spirit's voice got a dark edge around it, and Sarah saw the villagers draw away from them.
"No, we're not," she replied, stepping forward. "We were sent to this place against our will, and are looking for a way out. I'm Sarah, by the way," she added, giving the spirit a little smile.
"You do not seem evil," the spirit said, ignoring the chance to introduce itself. "Perhaps you can help us. The Baroness has trapped these good people here. They are unable to move on. And right now they are not strong enough to face the Baroness. If you help us I'm certain that the Baroness' demise will give you a chance to leave this place."
"Who is the Baroness?" Sarah asked as she approached the spirit. Nathaniel was almost at her side and she wanted to reach out and take his hand, but stopped herself. "I've learnt a few things about her while being here, but… I think I'm really asking what she is."
"She was a human, once," the spirit replied. "What she had become… I'm not certain if there is a word for that. But she must be stopped. For these people. For justice."
"How can we help?" Sarah asked. Although she couldn't see the spirit's face behind its helmet, she somehow felt the spirit was pleased, perhaps even relieved.
"Join us as we storm these gates and face her," the spirit said. "After she's gone, I will help you find a way back to your home. I give you my word, as a spirit of justice."
"Let's go then," Sarah said and turned to look at her companions. Nathaniel nodded at her, as did Velanna, whereas Oghren was grinning like a maniac and holding his axe ready.
"It's never boring with you!" the dwarf exclaimed. "Fighting wherever we go, even in the Fade! Now let's get that Baroness bitch."
…
The battle was chaotic. Sarah dodged a blow from the hurlock that had found a new mistress in the Baroness, and saw from the corner of her eye how one of Nathaniel's arrows took out yet another enemy. The hurlock raised his staff, but Sarah lunged forward, her sword knocking the staff aside while her dagger sunk into the creature's chest. It screamed and unleashed the spell it had been preparing, which sent Sarah flying backwards. She landed on the ground and heard something break before she even felt it; it was like the cracking sound from her leg drowned out all the other noises.
"Sarah!" It was Nathaniel, that she could make out, but then her world was taken over by the pain as she tried to pull herself up. Through some kind of haze she saw the hurlock lurch towards her, her dagger still stuck in its chest, but an arrow flew, she could hardly believe it, straight into its eye, and it toppled backwards.
"Don't try to move, you idiot!" Velanna was suddenly at her side and the healing spell took out some of the pain, although not enough by a long shot. And then… the world shook and went black.
Sarah landed on her back again, this time expecting the pain, so it wasn't such a terrible shock. She forced her eyes open, although a part of her brain wanted to just lie still, and noticed that they were back in the real Blackmarsh.
"Andraste's knickerweasels!" Oghren breathed out and Sarah turned to follow his gaze. She was actually surprised the dwarf had used such a mild expression, since the image deserved much stronger words. In the Fade, the Baroness had been in human form, but in the real world, her twisted nature came to show. A demon form, tall and imposing, turned around, scanning its surroundings and then giving out a scream of rage.
"Get up! Ignore the pain!" Velanna cast another spell at her and Sarah found that the pain subsided enough for her to do so. She turned to thank the mage, but she was already gone, running to the side to get a better aim at the demon.
"What… What is this?" As Oghren rushed towards the demon and Velanna flung her first spell, Sarah turned to look at Kristoff. The dead man was standing up, staring at his hands I horror. As he turned towards Sarah, she saw the faint light shining from the man's eyes.
"Sarah, it's coming!" Nathaniel shouted and she turned to look at the demon, who had just swatted Oghren aside. The dwarf was already getting up, mostly unharmed, but the demon was heading towards her.
"Justice!" she shouted, and the spirit, trapped in the human body, looked at her. "The Baroness! It's not over yet!" The spirit turned to look at the approaching demon and than, in an almost inhuman speed, picked up the flail that had been laying next to Kristoff's body. As the warrior attacked the demon, Sarah pulled out her bow; there was no way she could attack the creature with her sword when her leg was hurting like hell from simply standing still.
Velanna sent spell after spell flying, while Sarah and Nathaniel fired arrows at the creature. Oghren and Justice were at the heart of the battle, dodging the demons claws and hitting it with their weapons. And then, the demon stumbled, fell down, and the spirit raised its flail and crushed the demon's head.
Sarah had expected something to happen. Maybe for the body to disintegrate, or at least shift back into human form, but of course there wasn't anything human left of the Baroness, since there'd been so little to begin with. So that was that. She breathed out and then slumped into the ground the pain in her leg getting once again unbelievable, when there was no adrenaline rush to hold it back.
"Oh, Maker, Sarah!" Nathaniel was suddenly there, falling to his knees next to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his arms. She tried to hold on to him, but suddenly she had very little strength left in her body.
"Hold her still, I'm going to set the bone straight before I heal it," Velanna's voice said somewhere in the distance and then the word was full of pain, but Nathaniel held her and she buried her head against his chest as she screamed. And then the pain was gone, replaced by the calm numbness of the special kind of healing spell that Velanna used when things got really bad.
"I love you," Nathaniel whispered the words somewhere into Sarah's hair and she couldn't help it, she started to laugh. She laughed until there were tears streaming down her cheeks and then, just as Nathaniel was about to say something, she kissed him.
"I love you," she replied, caressing his face and only noticing a long scratch on his cheek when he winced under her touch. "And you're hurt."
"I don't care," he said, the tone of his voice sending warm waves through Sarah's body.
"I do," she replied and wondered if she really needed to get up and go on with her life, if it wasn't possible to freeze that moment in history and stay there forever. And then she saw an armoured figure slump to sit on a rock next to them and realized why time couldn't stand still for her, at least not yet.
"Justice," she said, turning to look at the figure, although Nathaniel was still holding her. "Are you…"
"This is not right!" the spirit almost howled. "Trapped here, in this place, in this body! This cannot be! I must find a way to get out of this body! I need to return! Kill this body, destroy it, you must, you…"
"Wait, listen!" Sarah raised her voice to get through to the spirit and got up, although leaving Nathaniel's embrace was very difficult. "Look at me."
"You need to end this!" the spirit said, ignoring her. "This is not right!"
"Listen to me! The body you're in, Kristoff, he was a good man. He was one of us, a Warden. He was devoted to stopping the darkspawn. He died before he could achieve that. But now you're in his body. You can finish what he started. Bring justice to Kristoff, to all those who've feel victim to the darkspawn."
"Stay? Here?" The spirit stared at her. "But… This is not my place. I shouldn't be here."
"But you are here," Nathaniel pointed out, moving next to Sarah and taking hold of her hand. "Maybe for a reason."
"You really think that… No, this is madness," the spirit got up. "This…" Suddenly his face went blank, like he was listening to a voice far away, barely making it out. "It's the right thing to do. He thought so. Defeating the darkspawn is the right thing to do, no matter the cost."
"Who?" Sarah asked and the spirit shook his head in disbelief.
"There are, what is the right word, echoes, in this body, in its mind. This Kristoff, he believed in this fight you ask me to join. And I can feel," the word sounded like the spirit didn't quite understand it, "that this is what I should do. Even though I don't understand it."
"Then welcome," Sarah said and then hesitated. "What should we call you now?"
"What you already called me," the spirit shrugged. "Justice. It is what I am."
"Very well, Justice it is then," Sarah smiled. "Now, let's rest for a moment before heading back to Vigil. To home," she added, as Nathaniel squeezed her hand.
"You two need some privacy?" Oghren was grinning at them, despite being splattered in demon blood and some things that Sarah didn't even want to recognize.
"Get lost, Oghren," Sarah didn't feel like she had the energy to come up with anything better, so she let the dwarf keep snickering as she and Nathaniel settled down and she cleaned the scratch on his cheek and bandaged a cut on his arm. Justice promised to keep watch, since he was certain he didn't need to sleep, so she curled into Nathaniel's arms and they fell asleep almost instantly.
…
Writer's note: Sorry about the update coming so late, but life has been crazy. Now it'll hopefully be less crazy and I can try to get the rest of the chapters out sooner (aiming to finish by New Year, but who knows what will happen). Thank you for the patience, for the reviews, for the faves and for being wonderful, Nathaniel-loving people. :)
I changed the events a little, mostly because of the timing of the events (and to avoid making the chapter superlong or having too many jumps over the "boring" bits). Oh, and I love "Andraste's knickerweasels" and even though it's a bit mild for Oghren to say, I had to put it in here. Anders is having a good (or bad, you decide) effect on him.
