Note 1: To anyone who's already read the previous chapter and thought, "That's a bit soon for this character to be using bankai", you were right. With some intrepid advice from Poodlecake85, I have removed that plot development. Kadenokōji Seren cannot use bankai. Thanks for your support! :)
Note 2: This chapter contains a reference to Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. It is intended as an homage to one of my favorite literary quotes, and feel free to PM me for the full quote if you are interested.
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Chapter 8 - Part Two
When midday was still about an hour away, Seren glanced up across the calm waters at Byakuya. "How's your leg?" she asked casually, though the effort caused some more blood to drip down her face.
He watched her blankly for a while in reply. He glanced at it. "The flower is impeding the blood flow. I doubt I am in any danger."
"Mm," she murmured. "But…does it hurt?"
He frowned, genuinely not sure why she would ask that. "What does that matter?"
She gave a cynical laugh. "Well you are a human being, you still have feelings in spite of what you would have others believe. I don't like to think that you've been in pain this whole time. So…have you?"
"My leg is broken. I cannot say I enjoy that feeling," he answered succinctly.
Seren looked mildly horrified, then clammed up again awkwardly.
He looked her up and down for a time. "Your injuries look far more serious. You should be suffering blood loss effects by now."
She nodded. "Good news for you. I'm…feeling pretty sleepy. And sort of sick. You know, like when you…stand up too fast?" To Byakuya's eyes, her cognitive functions were also already impaired. Though to some extent she always sounded like that to him. Seren sighed, another drop of blood from her face hitting the water beneath her. "I'd really just like to go to sleep, but I'm waiting to see Renji's face." She made an awkwardly jaunty gesture, pointing at him with a raised thumb and an overly enthusiastic smile. "Unless you're willing to give up now, of course."
He raised an eyebrow.
"Damn, thought I had you there," she muttered, snapping her fingers.
Byakuya took a calming breath, trying to think of other things. Then he realized, that was probably the water at work. Distracting himself wouldn't win this battle of wills. The correct thing to do was to remind himself: why he was here, why these two people deserved to be punished, and what was at stake for his family if he failed. He flicked a glare up at the treacherous woman across from him.
But when he looked at her at length, it was hard to maintain that hatred. Her head was lowered, her eyes barely open. Blood still dripped steadily from the numerous cuts of merely one pass from Senbonzakura. She also looked both exhausted and very worried; her whole heart was devoted to winning, he was sure of that, but she had no confidence in the idea. About the opposite of Byakuya's feelings at the time, to be honest.
Her head briefly dipped lower and she snapped it up as if trying to remain conscious. Byakuya raised an eyebrow. "If you are bleeding enough to affect your consciousness, death is not far away."
Seren sighed, but nodded.
"Hm. The idea of marriage to me is so repugnant to you, you are even willing to risk your life," he pondered absently, merely intending to fill up the time. Perhaps she would faint before any effort was required on his part.
She glanced up at him with difficulty. She considered, rubbing the back of her neck as if it was sore, and finally shook her head. "I didn't say that," she muttered.
His brows snapped together in irritation. "Excuse me?"
"I know. 'Then what the fuck was this all about', right?" She chuckled. "Tell you the truth, if I'd never met Abarai Fukutaichō, I…I mean, I'd have fought you. No question about that. But eventually I would have given up."
A twinge of pain echoed in Byakuya's chest. Though he would never admit this, the idea of winning by crushing this woman's spirit was not what he wanted. He didn't have a choice.
"When you grow up being told every day of your life, 'you are just an ornament, your value is merely decorative', it's hard not to believe it," Seren continued, more softly than he had ever heard her speak. "I thought you would understand that, Taichō. Okay, you weren't disparaged and told you weren't as human or as valuable as other people maybe, but you had your own limitations, right?"
Byakuya closed his eyes. He wouldn't pretend he liked the way noblewomen were treated. But that was the way of things. If that changed, there was no way to maintain order. Then everything that mattered to him, his whole value system would crumble. He could not allow that.
"And sure, you'll never have to carry, give birth to, or probably even care for children. Nor do so against your will, of course. And it's highly unlikely you'll ever have to worry about being raped by your spouse. You also get to choose most things that happen to you in your life. When you get up in the morning, what you eat, where you work, whom you marry." Her eyes flicked over to him in a state of cold stillness. "Of course, you'll never be considered someone else's property. So in that sense, I guess you wouldn't understand," she added in a dark undertone.
Byakuya's fist tightened as it rested on his knee. "Is there a point you're trying to make?" he asked through a tightened jaw.
The anger in her expression slowly faded. She really looked as if she hadn't expected that. Did she really expect him to feel for her? Sadness flickered over her eyes as she watched him, then that faded too. "You really don't care," she muttered. She slowly lowered her head. "Well. You still surprise me. Oh, but you asked me a question, didn't you? Be rude not to answer fully." She looked around in thought for a while, regaining her casual bearing. " 'Do I despise you enough to kill myself to avoid marriage to you'. Honestly? No."
He took that in in silence with merely a slight narrowing of his eyes to show that answer was unexpected; he had no reason to believe anything she said.
"Because no matter how subjugated a life becomes, it's still life. No matter how much pride a person has to throw away, life is always the better option. Human brains are pre-programed that way, of course shinigami too. Marry Kuchiki Byakuya or die, that's an easy choice. But give up the freedom to love or die, well…that's where it gets complicated."
Seren folded her arms and looked up at the sky as she thought. "I won't say I wish I never met him. This feeling doesn't feel bad or wrong, it feels…peaceful. Perfect. This is how a human heart should be. I'm grateful for every moment that I had with him, even if we never really did anything. Didn't even tell him how I felt, really."
Byakuya felt a small surge of guilt at that. She sounded truthful. Should he believe that their betrayal was only one of the heart, and not of action? There was something else. The way she spoke about her feelings sounded very familiar to him. In the very few times he had tried to justify in his own mind the way he felt about Hisana, he had told himself those things, almost verbatim. To say those words had no effect on him at that moment…well that would be a lie.
"So I guess what I mean is, no I don't hate you enough to die. I love him enough, though. That's all it is." She ended this sentence with the sweetest smile she had ever shown him.
Byakuya turned away. He didn't want to hear this. Unwillingly, he started to think how he would have reacted in her position. If he had been forced to give up Hisana, as he very nearly was. How would he have reacted? How far would he go? If his family forced him to give birth to the children of another and betray her both body and soul…he suddenly felt sick. The very idea of having his body invaded and controlled against his will was sickening. Women must feel different, but… Or did they?
He shook himself. He couldn't believe that. If he believed for a moment that women felt as much disgust as he did at the idea of being forced to bear children, his whole moral value system was in jeopardy. But even as he reminded himself of this fact, the guilt remained echoing through his bones as they sat in that water.
Slowly, Byakuya lifted his head. He carefully kept his gaze on the petal of a lotus flower a few yards away. He felt words rising to his mouth. Words he never wanted to say, never thought he would. Whether it was the water or not didn't much matter anymore. He slowly opened his mouth, finally prepared to let Kadenokōji Seren see just a fraction of his heart. However, he did not get the chance in the end.
"Hey. Crazy," came a voice from the nearest rooftop.
Seren flinched, eyes widening in surprise. But she did not look up. She had no need to, since the voice was all too recognizable. Byakuya turned with mild surprise to see Renji, wrapped in numerous, bloody bandages, part of his weight supported by Rukia on one side and Hisagi Shūhei on the other. He was looking down at Seren with what Byakuya could only perceive as contempt.
"What the hell are you doing?"
Seren smirked; such an odd expression, it was nothing it appeared to be. She rubbed her forehead absently, a few more drops of blood falling from her face to the water. "Nothing much. But do you mind if we chat later? I'm a bit busy."
"Busy doing what? Meddling in my affairs?" Renji demanded coldly. Byakuya raised an eyebrow at that. Surely that tone was uncalled for.
The woman's fists tightened. "You're not going to tell me this duel bullshit of yours has nothing to do with me."
"Think again. Less than nothing," Renji growled.
Seren looked genuinely confused for a moment. She still refused to look up at him, but her eyes had become uncertain. "Oh, really?"
Then Renji did something that Byakuya honestly did not believe he was capable of. He laughed. Cruelly. "Oh, I'm sorry, Kadenokōji. This has gone too far now. You think you're important enough for me to risk my life over? I'm flattered that you feel that way about me. But when did I ever say I was doing any of this for you?"
She froze. Byakuya stared in disbelief. Was that really Renji? After a moment, Seren scoffed out a difficult laugh. "You had some other bone to pick with Kuchiki Byakuya then?"
Renji glanced away in thought. "Well, when you put it like that, I guess all of this is your fault."
Seren's eyes widened. Byakuya still couldn't believe what he was hearing. He almost wanted Renji to stop. Why was he saying these things?
"I always knew I'd fight him to the death one day," Renji continued, still glaring at her. "That was my whole life. All I've cared about for the last fifty years has been overtaking him. Thanks to you I got my chance, albeit sooner than I would have liked. So I guess you could say it's your fault I almost died today: it was your actions that pissed this guy off and forced us to fight before I was ready. But…it's a bit of a stretch to say I would have died for you."
Seren was staring in frozen disbelief at the water before her. She didn't seem able to move. She tried, poorly, to approximate a false smile before she eventually tried to speak again. "Okay. Then all that stuff about fighting for you…what was that?"
"Hm? Oh…well, that's my fault. I'll admit that one." He sighed, scratching his neck. "Yeah. I thought it would be funny."
Anger rolled over Seren's face, even as tears began to drip through the blood. " 'Funny'?" she murmured.
Renji half nodded. "I admit it went too far. Can you blame me? I was pissed that someone like you got a seated position so easily. I thought you needed a bit of teasing. It was just going to be a little hazing to take you down a few notches, put you on the same level as everyone else, get it?" His eyes narrowed down at her. "I do feel sorry for you now. But did you really think I'd betray my captain for you?"
Byakuya barely managed to hold back from drawing his sword on his subordinate for the second time that day. That was going too far. Whatever else she might be, Kadenokōji Seren was a noblewoman. He had no right to speak to her that way. But due to the water and their connection via reiatsu, Byakuya also got just the slightest hint of what Seren was feeling at that moment. Slowly, Byakuya's gaze turned to her.
She seemed in a state of shock. All her muscles had gone slack but her eyes, staring wide at the water. Her hands, resting limp in her lap, were trembling. The lotus flowers all over the pond gradually turned pale and sickly. Their petals slowly began to fall, sinking into the water. Tears dripped down her face, one after another, but she hardly blinked. Finally, the water all around them vanished. The flowers with it.
Renji nodded. "There you have it. Don't interfere in my affairs again, Kadenokōji. Taichō please send for me when you want to finish this properly, I am ready at any time. Let's go," he added to the two still holding him up.
Rukia seemed almost as shocked as anyone. "Renji…what…"
"Now," he barked.
Despite obviously holding back words of protest, presently all three of them vanished with shunpo.
A lot had just happened, but Byakuya was somewhat distracted. He wasn't sure anyone else had the proper angle to see. Moments before the water had vanished, as his heart had felt squeezed while watching Seren's broken countenance, the flower that until that moment had not budged an inch from his leg, had let him go. It could have been a simple degradation of the girl's shikai. But in his heart, he knew that was not it. If only by a fraction of a second, he had lost this battle.
He glanced up at her. Having said that, this was perhaps the definition of an empty victory. A broken woman sat there. Blood dripped down her body and hair as her shoulders hunched, her head on her chest, eyes still wide even as tears flowed without rest. She didn't know, he realized, that she had won. Or maybe it didn't matter to her anymore. Slowly, her eyes closed. Her balance keeping her seated was fading, and moments later she collapsed in a spatter of blood in the dirt.
Byakuya closed his eyes in thought. Eventually, he stood. Despite his broken leg, he used shunpo to cross the distance between them, and gathered her up in his arms. Unsurprisingly, considering that she exceeded him in height, was not slim, and was covered in water, she was not easy to carry. He gazed down at her fitful expression for a time. All that fire, all that individuality seemed drained from her. He wasn't sure how to feel as he held her there quietly for a few moments.
He said the name of one of his servants. An older man in a kimono appeared out of nowhere. Byakuya instructed him to take her to her room and call for a physician. The servant nodded, gently took the bloody woman from his arms, and vanished the next instant.
Two more servants appeared, both former shinigami themselves, and wordlessly began treating Byakuya's leg and chest with kidō. He merely stood in silence as they did this. After a few moments of silent thought, he felt he had a grasp of the situation. It would seem that, whatever happened now, the choice was back in Byakuya's hands.
At that moment, a figure jumped down from the roof and made his way over in a leisurely pace. Byakuya's eyes flicked to the older captain in annoyance. Kyōraku grinned at him.
"All's well that ends well, hm?" Kyōraku observed.
Byakuya merely looked away.
Kyōraku's smile faded. "So…how would you like to proceed?"
Byakuya considered for a time. He felt utterly drained. The last thing he wanted to do was deal with formalities, but his body and mind were used to that. He took in a long breath and formed his response. "The duel is a draw. Renji's life is spared, Kuchiki honor is maintained. What else is there to do?"
The sly older captain wore an unreadable smile for a time. "Oh. Is that what happened? You know, for a moment there I thought I saw it differently."
Byakuya glared at him. Then to Kyōraku's obvious surprise, he closed his eyes and said, "Do not mince words, Kyōraku Shunsui. You are the arbiter. I will abide by your judgment, whatever it may be."
Kyōraku blinked, his eyebrows raised. "Hm. Well, it was very hard to see. I may need to take some time, examine the evidence." Byakuya sighed audibly. "Before I decide, may I ask you something? I noticed you took care of my young friend Seren-chan. On her behalf, I thank you for that."
Byakuya resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He should have known these two were friends. It was an obvious mistake to use Kyōraku Shunsui for this task.
"I was just wondering, on the subject of her," the frivolous captain continued, "whether I needed to get you two a wedding present after all. Or…I don't know. I just thought something might have changed." His black eyes peered hard at Byakuya's, in spite of the light smile on his lips. "So?"
The younger man was still for a long time. As he paused to form the words, he flinched as one of his servants inadvertently touched the burn on his chest while trying to heal it. He glanced down at his only two injuries. What he was thinking and feeling at that moment, he swore he would never reveal to anyone as long as he lived.
He took in a breath. "It is your choice what you do. But in this case, I would consider a wedding present for me or Kadenokōji Seren to be a waste of money."
Kyōraku blinked. But as he processed Byakuya's words, slowly a look of intense relief met the merry old man's face. He patted Byakuya on the shoulder, inadvertently causing his chest wound pain. "You know, Byakkun, whenever my colleagues or people at parties try to tell me what a conceited prick you are," Byakuya glared, "I always defended you. I'm very proud of the way you behaved today, I'm sure any Kuchiki would be."
Byakuya sighed, refusing to qualify that statement with a response.
Kyōraku's smile faded a bit as he turned to face the direction of the 4th squad relief station. "If only I could say the same of your vice–captain. What the hell was all that about?"
Byakuya briefly glanced up to follow his gaze. In silence, he considered what exactly Renji might be thinking at this moment. Depending on what it was, he might have yet another crime to answer for.
