Emma had to fight every impulse in her body to keep herself from storming off to the bed and breakfast to search for Ruby's ex the next morning. Instead of taking this route, she got ready for work. What was most unnerving about the morning, even more so than her desire to murder the new visitor in Storybrooke, was the silence that had flooded the house and lingered in the air. It made Emma's stomach turn as she thought about the previous night and the way Ruby had cried in front of her. Rather than peek in to check on her lover, Emma fought the urge to ascend the stairs and left the house quietly, saying nothing to either of the women upstairs.
Regina, on the other hand, was unable to resist her longing to comfort her wounded lover, so she opened the door to the occupied spare bedroom and poked her head in to find the detective sleeping fitfully on top of the covers. The woman was visibly shivering.
"Ruby," the older brunette whispered, slowly approaching the bed. "Baby?"
Ruby's eyes fluttered open as she sighed, "Go away, Regina."
"Ruby, please. I'm really sorry about last night. You tried to-"
"Get out, or I'll leave."
"Ruby! Come on! I'm just trying to-"
"Alright."
Ruby sat up and immediately swung her legs off the bed. As soon as she began to stand, though, Regina advanced on her and gently took her hands.
"I'm so sorry. Please, don't leave."
With a heavy sigh, Ruby told her lover, "I can't handle this."
When Ruby started to cry, Regina's heart began to pound, and she wrapped her arms around the younger woman, squeezing her torso in a tight embrace.
"Oh, honey. It'll be okay. I promise. You don't have to talk to her, okay? But you really should go to work..."
"I can't see her, Regina. She hurt me so badly."
"I'm so sorry, sweetie. I'd do anything to make this better for you."
"Gina," the detective whimpered, dropping her head to her lover's shoulder. "I can't handle this."
"It's gonna be okay," Regina cooed, stroking her hair. "I promise it'll be okay."
"What if Emma-"
"She won't. She knows better. She was just really upset, because she cares about you and wants to keep you safe and help your heart heal."
"I guess so."
"No, trust me. I know Emma. So do you. She's not going to hurt her. She just really, really wants to."
"She left without saying goodbye."
"You did say not to bother you, honey..."
Wiping her eyes, Ruby sniffled, "I know. I'm so sorry. This is so fucked."
"You know... You could just tell her you don't want to see her."
"What?"
"You could talk to her."
"No. No, I can't. I can't even stand to hear her voice. I threw up after I ended the call last night."
"Oh, honey... My sweet, sweet girl..."
"I'm so pathetic. I wish I could just get over it and completely forget about her."
"It's not pathetic, baby. You got hurt. It's perfectly normal to feel the way you do after whatever happened between you."
"It's not normal. It's embarrassing. Look at me! I'm a fucking mess, all from one fucking phone call!"
"Ruby..."
"I'm a coward."
"You are not a coward!"
"I can't believe I'm still letting her get to me. I should be fucking over it. I should be able to just completely ignore her, but I..."
"Listen, Rubes... I really think you should talk to her and tell her that you want her to back off. It doesn't seem like she will unless you're up front with her."
"I can't, Regina. I can't talk to her."
With a sigh, the older brunette said, "Alright. What if... What if I called her?"
"No fucking way."
"I can speak to her calmly. It could be civil. It wouldn't be anything vicious."
"You mean it wouldn't be anything like what Emma wants to do."
"I want to hurt her, too, Ruby. I just know it won't help anything, so I can push that urge aside. All I want is to take care of you, and I know that trying to getting revenge isn't going to do that."
Ruby sighed too and lowered her head into her hands, mumbling, "What would you even say, then?"
"I'd calmly tell her that you're not interested in speaking to her, and that she needs to refrain from contacting you again."
"She'd probably just laugh at you."
"You think she'd react with anger, or just ignore me?"
"Nah. She's not the type to really blow up on people she doesn't know. She's passive aggressive at first. The real fury happens once you're already tangled in her web of bullshit."
Biting her lip, Regina lifted her lover's chin and looked into her eyes.
"Tell me what I can do to help. Do you at least want me to try?"
"I don't know. Can I think about it?"
"You can. But please... please go to work. Don't shut down and lock yourself away out of fear. Don't let her manipulate you like that."
"I always let her manipulate me."
"So let's change that. You have lots of backup. Emma and me will always be here for you."
"Emma's not going to-"
"Emma loves you. She's frustrated and angry that your ex is hurting you. She's not frustrated or angry with you."
"But she-"
"She's trying to cool down and give you the space you asked for. You know that. You know her, Ruby. She's not angry at you. Just frustrated and hurt by what's going on."
After giving a weak nod of understanding, Ruby let her head fall to Regina's shoulder.
"I love you, but I'm not going to work."
"Alright," the mayor sighed. "Then you should decide sooner rather than later what you want to do about this. You shouldn't just hide. You should-"
Regina was cut off by the sound of the front door opening, followed by heavy footsteps on the stairs. Both raised their eyes and looked at each other, then towards the doorway. Moments later, an anxious and agitated sheriff appeared in the opening, her brow furrowed.
"Emma. I thought you were at work," Ruby greeted her softly.
"I'm so sorry, Rubes. I didn't mean to upset you even more. I was such an ass. I just don't know how to handle this. I just want to protect you."
"I don't need protecting, Em. And it's okay. I was an asshole too."
"We were all a little ridiculous," Regina added, watching as Emma stepped towards them.
The blonde slowly knelt in front of the detective and took her hands, saying, "I love you. What can I do to help make this easier on you?"
"Nothing. I can handle this. I just need to... to..."
Regina looked at her apprehensively, concern furrowing her brow.
"Let me call her," she said softly, stroking the woman's cheek.
"No. I need... I need to do this on my own."
"What?" Emma gawked, staring into her lover's face with surprise.
"I need to man up and face her."
"What are you going to do?" the blonde asked.
"I'm going to call her back."
"Hey," Ruby said into the phone, her voice cracking.
"Hey, gorgeous," the woman on the other end of the line said cheerfully. "Was hoping I'd hear from you soon."
"Listen... I need to be straight up with you. This isn't gonna happen."
"Oh, come on, Rubes. Don't be like that, baby."
"You and I are over. I'm not your baby, Merida."
"You used to be."
"Things change."
"Why do they have to change?"
"Firstly, because I'm taken. Secondly, because you basically destroyed me and treated me like shit."
"Come on, babe. That's all in the past now. And who cares if you're taken? You know no one else is going to take care of you like I can."
"You are straight up disgusting, Merida."
To Ruby's surprise, the woman just laughed brightly and said, "You know you like 'em dirty."
The detective wanted to gag.
Close to throwing up, she tried to keep her voice steady as she replied, "What do you even want from me?"
"What do you mean? I want to see you."
"Okay. Why?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Because you fucking cheated on me, Merida! You broke my heart and kicked me to the curb!"
"That was ages ago, Ruby. Things are different now."
"I seriously doubt you've changed."
"And what if I have?"
Ruby paused.
"Listen," Merida said. "Will you at least have coffee with me? Let's just talk."
"We're talking now."
"Face to face."
"Merida. No."
"Ruby, please? I just want to see you. It's been too long. It doesn't have to be weird. It can be just like the good old times."
"There were no good old times. All we ever did was fight."
"That's not true," Merida argued with a giggle. "We had amazing sex."
"Stop it," Ruby snapped. "Don't."
"Why? You don't remember?"
"I..."
"Try to tell me it was bad." When Ruby didn't reply, she added, "Go ahead. Try."
"Shut up, Merida."
"Have coffee with me."
Sighing, Ruby finally conceded, "Alright. But this is just so I can tell you in person that I want you to get the fuck away from me and stay out of my life."
"Whatever I can do to get you in the same room as me."
"When do you want to meet up?"
"You working tomorrow? I hear you're a detective now."
"Yeah. I'm not working tomorrow though."
"Let's do lunch then. My treat."
"You're not paying for my-"
"Great! One o'clock at Granny's diner then! Bye!"
As soon as Ruby ended the call, she let her head fall into her hands. After a while, Regina poked her head into the room to check on her lover.
"Babe? You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm alright."
"How... How'd it go?"
"We're having lunch tomorrow."
"Wow. Really?"
"Yeah. I know."
"That's very brave of you, Ruby. I'm proud of you."
"I don't see why."
"For confronting your past and the things that scare and upset you."
"Fair enough. I guess we'll see how it goes. Hopefully, I don't chicken out before then."
"You won't, babe. You won't."
As Ruby stepped through the door of the diner, her heart raced. When she saw the beautiful red-head sitting at a booth in the back of the establishment, it sputtered and stopped as her stomach clenched. She thought about turning and running right back out to her car. Merida hadn't noticed her entrance yet. There was still time to change her mind. At least... Nope. Her former lover looked up at exactly that moment and smiled brightly when she caught Ruby's gaze, forcing Ruby to walk over to the table. She hesitated before sitting down.
"Hey, beautiful," Merida greeted her brightly. "Sit down. Don't be a stranger."
Biting her lip, Ruby sat down across from the woman and crossed her legs anxiously under the table.
"You look amazing," the woman told her. "Absolutely stunning."
"Stop it," the detective muttered. "Don't try to-"
"How are you? How's the job?"
"What do you even care?"
"Of course I care, honey. You should be proud. I never thought I'd see you in law enforcement! You used to be such a trouble-maker."
"Me? I learned it from you," Ruby countered, letting out a soft laugh.
Merida smiled at her, savoring the sound.
"Maybe that's true," she agreed. "You seemed pretty into it at the time, though."
"You pretty much corrupted me, you know. I was an innocent little flower, before I met you."
Laughing enthusiastically, Merida said, "Breaking you was almost as fun as bringing out your dark side. Especially in the bedroom."
"Hey... Don't..."
"What's the matter, Rubes? Why are you so reluctant to remember us?"
"Because you hurt me!" Ruby snapped. "You ruined me."
"Ruby. Honey," the red-head tried. "That's all in the past now. And you might have been hurt, but you're certainly not ruined. Look at you! You turned out beautifully."
"Stop flirting with me!"
"I can't help it. You're smart, and gorgeous, and I'm so impressed with you and what you've done with your life."
"You always fucking pulled this crap. You'd shit all over me, throw me away like a rotten piece of trash, then rope me back in with sugar-coated lies."
"I think you just couldn't resist my charm."
Obviously, Merida was avoiding all accusations of her guilt. Despite Ruby's efforts to stay enraged, her former lover was forcing her to remember all the things about their relationship that she'd tried to let go of - including everything that had kept her coming back.
"I know you remember," Merida said softly. "And I'm glad. I'm glad you didn't forget about us."
When the woman reached across the table and put her hand on top of Ruby's, the brunette jumped, but found herself too shocked and frozen to pull away.
"What the hell are you doing?" she finally breathed, staring into her former lover's eyes, unable to break her gaze.
Rubbing her thumb over the back of Ruby's hand, Merida replied, "Helping you remember the rest of it."
It stung. It burned. It made Ruby's heart race. All the emotions she'd tried to push away were flooding back. The anger, the anxiety, the frustration, the brokenness. The harder she tried to push them away, the faster they came back and hit her with more and more force, making her chest feel like it might burst.
"Don't," Ruby finally squeaked, but Merida just squeezed her hand a little tighter.
"So, you like your job?"
Blinking a few times to clear her thoughts, the brunette pulled away and replied, "Yeah. I love it."
"Must be a tough ride, though. Hard work."
"I enjoy a challenge."
"You certainly never liked things easy."
Ruby rolled her eyes, picking up on the innuendo and feeling slightly disgusted by it. Still, she couldn't help but think of the things Merida was referencing, all the times they'd fought and made up with angry sex. It was almost always angry, rarely ever loving and tender, except maybe the first time. Merida had been the one to take her virginity, and when she thought about it, Ruby regretted it immensely, even though the experience itself hadn't been at all bad. The memory hurt, though, as pleasant as it was. Everything that had come after it tainted its beauty, and it stung for Ruby to think about it.
"Rubes? You okay?"
"Huh?"
"You zoned out for a minute there. You alright?"
The concern in her voice sounded genuine, and it surprised Ruby. She wasn't used to hearing such softness in her tone. That was certainly new. Surely, though, it was just another aspect of her manipulative personality, which had clearly grown since the last time they'd seen each other.
"Yeah. I'm fine."
"You should order some coffee and something to eat. Stay a while."
Ruby nodded, waved the waitress down, and ordered herself a coffee, as suggested, but knew if she tried to eat, it would just come back up. She let Merida talk for a while as she sipped the steaming beverage, despite the fact that it was nearly burning her tongue.
"I'm so glad you're happy with your job," Merida said suddenly, interrupting her own thought process and the monologue she'd been reciting.
"What?" Ruby asked dumbly.
"I'm happy for you. You used to be miserable. You've really changed. And you really do look great, Ruby. Your arms have gotten huge."
"Yeah," Ruby chuckled. "I've put on some muscle weight, for sure."
"I like it. It really suits you. Some girls really just look strange with big muscles, but you... you rock it, hard."
"Um... Thanks..."
After a little more small talk, during which Merida expressed genuine interest in Ruby and what she had to say (which was beyond strange), the red-head finally said, "I don't want you to go."
"Don't be ridiculous."
"I'm not being ridiculous. I miss you, babe."
"Stop it."
"It's true. I do."
"I don't care. This is it. You got your closure."
"I wasn't looking for closure."
"This is over. I did this to show you that there's no way for you to get me back, and that I'm not fucking around when I tell you to leave me alone."
With a heavy sigh, Merida stood up, grabbed her jacket, and asked, "Will you at least let me walk you to your car?"
"Alright... But that's it. Then this is over, and I don't want to hear from you again."
"If you're sure."
Merida followed Ruby to her car, but before Ruby could open the door, she grabbed her wrist and gently backed her against the metal frame, her body far too close for Ruby's comfort.
"What are you-" she started, but Merida quickly raised a finger to her lips.
"Shh. Listen. I don't want to let you go, but if I have to... If you can really look me in the eyes and tell me you can't see me again... then I'll leave you alone. Just... give me one more thing."
"Why should I?"
"Because we both need closure if you're really going to turn your back on me, and this hasn't been it. This has been you in denial of everything you felt, and everything we had. I need you to remember all of it before I really let you go for good."
"What do you want then?"
"I want you to kiss me. Just one last time. For old time's sake."
"No way! Are you fucking crazy?"
But Merida was already reaching her hand up and tucking a strand of hair behind Ruby's ear.
"Please, honey. Just one kiss."
"Fuck you."
"Look at me." But Ruby tore her eyes away, so her former lover repeated, "Look at me, Ruby."
Against her will, Ruby raised her eyes and met Merida's gaze, shivering from the intensity she found there.
"Pull away if you really don't want this."
Merida leaned in, and, to Ruby's complete and total horror, she found herself completely frozen and unable to move, shocked by the feeling of her former lover's slender hips pressing lightly against her own.
"I miss you, Rubes," Merida whispered, then kissed Ruby's lips, with a slow burning tenderness Ruby had never felt from her before.
As soon as Merida broke away, Ruby blurted, "I have to go," jerked away, and slipped into her car. While she pulled away from the curb, she saw Merida smiling in the car mirror.
[LINE BREAK]
"Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit!" Ruby cursed as she pulled into the driveway of the mansion. "What the fuck!"
She was still in a panic fifteen minutes later when she finally got out of her car and opened the front door. For the next few hours, she made close friends with Regina's bottle of scotch as she sat in the comfortable chair behind the desk in the study. Normally, her drink of choice was vodka or tequila, but scotch was the only thing in reach. It was a relationship of convenience.
By the time Regina got home, Ruby was passed out in the chair, tightly clutching the nearly-empty bottle of scotch.
"What the... Ruby?" Regina asked, when she found the woman.
Ruby almost never went into Regina's study, so the mayor was surprised to find her there, and even more surprised to find her holding the large bottle of alcohol that had been half full the last time she checked.
When the younger brunette didn't respond, Regina tried again, saying, "Ruby. Wake up, baby."
But it wasn't until she shook the woman's shoulders that Ruby opened her eyes and sat up with a start, the bottle of scotch tumbling out of her hands and onto the floor.
"I'm s-sorry!" she shouted, louder than she'd meant to.
"What?"
"I... I..."
"What the hell is going on, Ruby? What happened? And why in the world-" Regina stopped to pick up the bottle "-are you already plastered at six in the evening?"
Ruby wanted to speak. She did. But no words came out, and her focus quickly shifted to the rapidly spinning room. Before she could stand to run to the bathroom, she found herself leaning forward and puking up stomach bile and not much else, given that she'd eaten nothing all day.
"Ruby!" Regina cried. "Oh, my God!"
"Fine," Ruby muttered, leaning back in the chair and shutting her eyes. "I'm fine. Room just spinning. Very fast... Very dizzy."
"Oh, honey... What did you do?" the older brunette sighed, stroking Ruby's hair back and out of her face. "Sit still while I clean this, okay? Then we'll get you to bed and talk about this in the morning."
"Don't w-wanna talk," the detective slurred, shaking her head slowly.
The movement was enough to stir another bout of dizziness so intense that she lurched forward and threw up again.
"Sit back, baby. It's gonna be okay," Regina whispered, gently easing Ruby back into the chair. "I'll be right back."
Once the mess was cleaned up, Regina noticed that Ruby had passed out again, with her mouth slightly open. Just as she was about to try to wake her to bring her upstairs, she heard the front door open and left the study to find Emma in the kitchen. The blonde was setting her keys on the counter and looked at Regina with a bright smile before greeting her.
"Hey, baby. How was your day?"
"We've got a problem."
As soon as Emma saw Ruby, the bottle of scotch on the side table, and the wet spot on the carpet, her jaw dropped.
"Oh, my God."
"I know," Regina sighed. "I know."
"What the hell happened?"
"I don't know. I found her like this when I got home a little before six. She drank almost half the bottle, Em. She puked on the floor twice after I woke her up."
"Oh, God. Our poor baby..."
"Let's get her upstairs."
Emma nodded, and the two women each took an arm to lift Ruby out of the chair. Supporting her weight together, they managed to get her to the bedroom. Once she was there, Emma lifted her up and laid her on the bed when Regina pulled back the covers.
As soon as her head hit the pillow, Ruby moaned and furrowed her brow.
"Em," she mumbled. "So sorry."
When Ruby's cell phone went off downstairs, Emma went down to retrieve it. It continued to ring as she carried it upstairs. Only when she silenced the phone and set it on the bedside table did she notice that the call was from Merida.
Outside in the hallway - Emma had suppressed her desire to answer the call and tell the woman to go fuck herself - the mayor and the sheriff faced each other and spoke in a hushed whisper.
"What are we going to do?" Regina asked.
"I don't know. All I know is that this has something to do with Merida, and that I want to kill that fucking bitch. I want to gut her like a fish and skin her alive."
"Emma!" Regina hissed. "Not helpful!"
"Well you come up with something productive to do then!"
"Why don't we talk to Ruby in the morning and let her tell us what happened? How's that for a start?"
"We could just-"
"Emma, no."
With a heavy sigh, the blonde hung her head and said, "Yeah. You're right. We'll just have to wait until Ruby wants to talk about it."
[LINE BREAK]
But Ruby didn't want to talk about it, especially not first thing in the morning when her lovers brought her breakfast in bed.
"So..." Emma started, looking intently at the younger of the two brunettes. "Do you, uh... wanna tell us why you drank until you puked all over the floor and blacked out last night?"
"How bad was it?" Ruby groaned.
"Pretty bad, baby," Regina told her. "You were kind of a mess. Did something happen?"
"What? No. I mean..."
"You know... You can tell us anything. It doesn't matter what it is," Regina said.
"Yeah, Rubes," Emma joined in. "Anything."
"I don't want to talk. You guys should go to work. I'm a fucking wreck."
"Honey, we love you," the mayor told her. "If something's going on, you should-"
"No. You two should... You should really..."
"What, Ruby?" the sheriff asked, when she noticed just how solemn and defeated the detective looked. "We should what?"
"You should drop me and forget this ever happened."
"Excuse me?!" Emma shouted, stepping closer to the bed. "Are you insane?" When Ruby shook her head, she added, "Are you high?"
"I'm not high. I just think you can both do better."
"Ruby, this isn't funny. Knock it off, okay?" Regina said, her voice cracking in the middle of the second sentence, giving away her panic.
"It's not a joke."
Holding one hand to her forehead - presumably to help suppress the extreme headache she was likely experiencing - Ruby swung her legs out of the bed and grabbed her cell phone. Emma was much faster, though, and stood in front of her as she moved towards the door.
"Oh, no. You don't get to fucking say that and then walk out. What the hell is going on?"
"I'm a fucking wreck, you guys. Just get out of my way, Emma. You're both too stubborn to admit you were wrong about me, so I'm going to make it easy for you and just leave."
"This is bullshit," Emma cried. "Are you fucking kidding me right now? What could have possibly happened that's making you-" Emma's face fell as pain filled her eyes. "Oh. Okay. I get it."
"What?" Ruby asked. "What is it that you think you get?"
"Guys, stop!" Regina shouted. "This is silly! Ruby, you don't have to go! We love you, and there's nothing wrong with you. Don't leave just because you had one bad night."
"You don't understand," Ruby told them. "You just... don't get it."
"What don't we get?" the blonde pressed, stepping closer.
"I have to go."
"Ruby!" Regina cried. "Don't!"
But their lover had already shoved past Emma, who was too stunned to stop her, and was hurrying down the stairs.
