Hey, so this is the next chapter. Not quite as intense, but still a sad chapter. R&R
Disclaimer: SM owns everything.
Chapter 9: Hanging in There
BPOV
It has been a full week since I had been hospitalized. I didn't remember much of it, but I am pretty sure I remember Mr. Cullen being there. Since then, I have spent most of the time in bed, laying awake. Charlie for once hasn't hurt me for awhile, but I think it's because he knows that if he accidentally killed me, it would be too easy to say it was him since he insisted I come home.
I wish I could have stayed at the hospital though. Even without him physically harming me, I know how angry he is. He thinks I told someone, but I told him I didn't.
I slowly get out of bed, gasping for air as I do. Charlie told me that the schedule goes back to normal tomorrow, that I have been sitting on my ass long enough.
I make my way to the shower slowly. By the time I get there, I am lightheaded from the effort of moving. I hadn't eaten much of anything all week, since Charlie wasn't being THAT generous, and of course, I couldn't sleep.
I get in the shower, and let the hot water soothe me as I wash myself. When I get out, I rewrap my ribs, and ankle, and slowly make my way downstairs to make his breakfast. Every movement is like torture.
Charlie comes down at his normal time, and silently eats his breakfast, not even glancing my way.
"You're going to school today, right?" he asks gruffly, still not looking at me.
"Yes, sir." I say quietly.
"Good. Keep your mouth shut about everything. Got it? Nothing has changed."
I nod, and he gets up, leaving his plate for me to clean before he leaves for work. I get up gingerly, and wash it, before heading out myself. I know in my current condition, it will take me much longer to get to school.
When I am about halfway there, I see a familiar silver Volvo pass, then slam on the breaks, backing up. It parks beside me, and immediately Mr. Cullen steps out.
"Bella, What are you doing out here?! You should still be on bed rest!" he says, his eyes worried. I hadn't seen him since I was at his house, or possibly the day I was I went to the hospital.
"Charlie said it was time to go back to school." I said.
"That's bullshit. Damnit, well if you have to go, you are not walking there, get in the car."
I nod, thoroughly greatful for the ride. Mr. Cullen swiftly moves to my side, and helps me in. I gasp in pain as I sit, and I see him cringe a little.
Mr. Cullen goes around to the other side of the car, and sits down in the driver's seat. He doesn't take off immediately. "Bella, are you doing okay..?" he asks tentatively.
I nod slowly. "Yeah, I'm fine." I say quietly. I see his brow furrow as he studies me.
"You have lost more weight… Wasn't he feeding you at least?"
I don't answer, I just look down at my lap.
I hear Mr. Cullen swear under his breath. "You hungry? We still have a little time."
I nod. "A little."
"Alright then. Let's get some breakfast then." He says as he starts driving. A little while later, we arrive at a Dunkin Donut. He orders us both a breakfast sandwich and coffee. I take mine gratefully and start eating.
"I'm glad you're okay. You scared me, Bella, I thought you were dead." He said quietly, his hands tightening on the steering wheel.
"Were… Were you the one who found me? I could have sworn I remember seeing you…"
"Yes. I got your note, and went to reason with you, and that's when I found you. I'm not going away, just so you know, so you can forget about everything you said in that note. I am the one with those things at stake, so I will be the one to make that decision."
I don't say anything, only nod quietly. On one hand, I am still scared I will get him in trouble, but on the other, much bigger hand, the thought that he cares enough to risk all of that makes me feel warm. It makes me happy, a foreign emotion.
"We will figure this out." He says, seeming to be assuring himself more than me.
When we arrive at the school, I pack up the half of my breakfast sandwich that is still uneaten. He gives me a look, and I sigh. "I am already full, but I will eat the rest of it, I promise. My stomach isn't very big."
He sighs, and nods. "Alright, well, I will see you in English. If I knew you were coming back today, I would have brought you a lunch or something."
"It's okay, that's not your responsibility."
"It may not be, but I am taking the responsibility none the less." He gets out of the car, and helps me out. I nearly collapse, but he catches me, looking more worried as I struggle to catch my breath.
"Are you sure you can do this? I don't think it's a good idea, Bella…" He says, concern lacing his beautiful features.
"I have to." I say in between gasps.
"No, You don't. I can bring you back to my place for the day, and you can rest like you should be doing."
"And how will you explain your absence to the other teachers? You can't keep missing work because of me, or else you will lose your job."
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. He must know I am right. "Just take it easy, okay?"
I nod, and we both go our separate ways to avoid suspicion. Luckily we were early enough that no one saw us arrive in the same car.
By the time I get to first period, I wish I had taken him up on his offer. I am soaked from my half of the walk here, and I feel horrible. I Still can't catch my breath just from the short walk to class.
Most of the day goes like this. By the time Lunch comes, I just go straight to the English room to save the extra walking, since I have his class right after lunch.
When I get there, I lean against the wall next to the door for a moment, trying to catch my breath. I feel so light headed that I feel like I am going to faint, and my ribs and ankle burn with pain.
"Bella?" I hear, and I open my eyes to see a worried Mr. Cullen standing in front of me. I can hear the ringing in my ears as I stand up again, and he catches me before I fall. "Bella! I told you this wasn't a good idea!" He whispers panicked as he helps me into the classroom. He helps me to my seat, and I immediately put my head down, feeling the cold sweat all over from the effort it's taken to last this long.
"Are you alright, Bella?" He asks.
"I will be, I'm fine." I say quietly. "Thanks though."
"You need to go home. Why don't you take a nap in my car until the end of the day?"
"There are only two more periods left. I'm tougher than I look." I force a grin, finally having caught my breath.
He doesn't look convinced. "I'll be right back." He leaves, and comes back a few minutes later with a bottle of orange juice, and a PB&J sandwich from the lunch line. He puts it down in front of me on the desk.
"Thank you." I say, though my stomach is turning, I don't know if I can handle eating it.
"No problem, just eat it, you need your strength."
I nod, and start eating. By the time I finish eating, I feel completely nauseous, but I force myself to keep it down, and just smile. "Thank you. So, what did I miss in class…?"
He looks at me, his eyebrows furrowed before he responds. "Just some of the Shakespeare unit. I am sure you know it well enough though. We finished with 'Hamlet', and are now onto 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'."
"I love that play." I said quietly. Then the bell rings, and I sigh as Mr. Cullen quickly walks back over to his desk before students begin to file in. I put my hood back up to keep from being noticed, but this time, it's not working. Several of the girls are watching me, and not in a friendly manner. I wonder when exactly I went from being invisible to being… hated?
When class ended, I waited for the other kids to leave again before following them out slowly.
"Meet me here after school." He said quietly to me as I left, and I nodded, before heading to gym.
I didn't have a doctor's note, because Charlie never got one, I had to participate in gym. Some of the girls had it in for me for some reason though, and kept throwing balls at me. Luckily, one boy, I think his name was Mike, kept blocking the balls. He smiled hopefully at me, and I weakly smiled back in appreciation.
By the end of class, I felt worse than I had earlier. Instead of heading to Mr. Cullen's classroom, I went outside, since it was closer. I didn't want to show weakness in front of all these kids. I sunk down against the wall, struggling to breathe, and coughing so hard I ended up throwing up lunch. I closed my eyes after, and leaned my forehead against the cold wet cement. It was pouring as usual, but I didn't care. I felt like I was going to pass out if I even tried to get up again. I wish I had a way of letting him know I was out here, but I also knew he probably would look for me here.
About twenty minutes later, sure enough, the door opens, and I felt myself being scooped up into a pair of arms gently. "Shit… There's no way you can stay home tomorrow?" He said, seeming to understand I wasn't blowing him off.
I shake my head, and lean it against his shoulder wearily. I feel my teeth chattering, and my body shaking with shivers.
"Come on, I am bringing you back to my place at least for now." I nod, and close my eyes, exhaustion creeping up on me.
He puts me in his car, and then gets in himself. I feel him put the heater on, before he reaches over me, and puts my seat back so I am laying down.
"You did good… You made it through the day, now get some rest."
Laughter, sinister and filled with malice surrounds me. Charlie walks up to me holding a large knife as he plunges it in. I scream, but find a hand over my mouth as James grabs me from behind. I suddenly am naked as James violates me again, Charlie's knife sticking out of my chest. I scream, and try to run, but nothing happens.
"Bella, wake up."
"Bella, Wake up!" I hear as I suddenly wake, panting, and covered in cold sweat. I am in the guest bedroom at Edward's place again, under the covers of the most comfortable bed in existence, with a cold cloth on my head. I notice there is someone else in the room, and I stiffen instinctively, until I notice it is Dr. Cullen.
"Nightmare…?" I heard Edward question.
I sheepishly nod, and try to sit up, wincing from the effort, before Edward gently presses me back down. I look at him in confusion.
"I called Carlisle here, because I noticed you had a pretty high fever when I brought you inside. The operation sites are pretty badly infected. Has Charlie given you the antibiotics at all?"
I look at him in confusion "What antibiotics?"
"Pills, to prevent infection. Have you been taking any pills?" Carlisle asks.
I shake my head. "No, none. Charlie probably wouldn't get them, since they cost money I am sure.."
I hear a growl, and see Edward looks furious. I shrink back a little, and he seems to get control over himself.
"It's okay, I just need to disinfect them better, right…?" I say, still feeling tired. That nap was the first bit of sleep I had had in days. The pain kept me up, along with the other normal things that kept me awake.
"That really isn't enough. You see, when someone eats a healthy diet, and gets adequate sleep, they generally have a good immune system. Your immune system is very weak, because its constantly fighting on empty. So I prescribed you stronger antibiotics, and pain killers." Carlisle explains.
"But everything is okay, right?" I ask.
"Yes, you will be fine. When Edward called me, I had a feeling that would be the case, and I just brought some for you to take. You need rest though. You shouldn't have been up so soon."
"I wish that was an option—"
"I know it's not…" He sighs. "I have a phone for you, and I need you to call me or Edward if you are feeling too weak. I can excuse you from classes, and Edward will either bring you here, or at least somewhere safe until he can bring you here. You can't keep pushing yourself like this, because you won't heal. You can end up in the same position as a week ago."
"That's too much though—"
"Bella, It's not enough. You should have been taken care of already, but you haven't had that luxury. So stop fighting us on this." Edward says, handing me the phone. It's small, and pink, with cute little flowers all over it. I can't help but giggle at it.
"I thought you would like it. Its.. you know, girly and stuff… " Mr. Cullen says looking away.
"I do, it's the cutest thing I have ever had, thank you." I said, blushing. I try to sit up again, but he turns back towards me, and pushes me back down.
"You're welcome. Now go back to sleep. You only have an hour left to rest before I have to bring you back home. He gets home at 5:30, right?" Edward asks.
"Yes… but, I have to be home before that. If dinner isn't on the table and hot the moment he walks in the door…" I shudder.
"Shit…" I hear him. "Okay. What time does he go to bed usually?"
"Usually around 10 at night." I respond.
"So by eleven, I would like you to text me, letting me know you are okay, or letting me know if you are not. I will also pick you up for school in the morning. What time does he leave in the morning?"
"By six" I said, in awe that they were doing all this for me.
"Okay, then I will be by at six-fifteen to pick you up in the morning. That will give us time to get you breakfast. You lost almost 8 pounds this week from not eating while your body was doing so much healing. "
I am somehow not shocked by this. I figured it would happen.
"So, we have a deal?" Mr. Cullen asks.
"Yes, thank you." I said, feeling heat creep to my cheeks.
"Lets get you home then, so you can make him dinner. I don't want him to have any reason to hurt you." He said the last part with venom in his voice.
I didn't want to tell him that Charlie didn't usually have a reason, if he had one, it just made it worse.
Twenty minutes later, we pulled up in front of my house. I still had no strength left from the day, so I had no clue how I was going to cook for Charlie. Mr. Cullen came around to my side, and helped me out. He then helped me into the house, holding almost all my weight for me.
"Don't forget to take those pills, or to text tonight. I will see you in the morning. Be safe, Bella." He whispers before he helps me sit down, and leaves.
I sigh as the door shuts behind him. A moment later, I slowly stand, and start making Charlie's dinner. When Charlie get's home, he grunts at me before sitting down, and eating the lasagna I made.
When he is finished, he walks over to the living room. "Make yourself fucking presentable. James is coming over soon."
I felt like someone dropped ice cold lead into my stomach, as I nod slowly. I want to text Mr. Cullen, Beg him to pick me up before James gets here, but I can't. He could get hurt, and I would get hurt. Not to mention, I am sure Mr. Cullen would be disgusted if he found out about this.
A little later, James is here, and he has me in my room. He shoves a sock in my mouth so I can't scream. I try to block it all out, but my body is in so much pain during his assault it keeps me entirely lucid. When he finishes a little after ten o'clock, he leaves me on the bed the same broken mess as before, casually walking out. Tears stream down my face as I struggle to hold myself together, struggle to breathe.
I text Mr. Cullen, telling him I was not injured tonight, because saying I was okay would be a lie. He seems satisfied, and wishes me a goodnight.
By morning, I have been awake all night crying until I couldn't anymore, and then just numb. I took a two hour long shower in the middle of the night until it was ice cold, then I did my homework. I had Charlie's breakfast ready, and then he was out the door. The morning flew by, and before I knew it, I heard a knock on the door, followed by Mr. Cullen coming right inside.
I look up at him, and he immediately seems to notice something is wrong. "What happened?" he asks as he takes in my appearance. I know I must look like hell. "I thought you said he didn't hit you last night?"
"He didn't." I croak. My voice is raw from screaming through the sock.
"What happened, Bella? You need to tell me." He says, coming over, and kneeling in front of me, staring directly into my eyes.
"I'm okay, Just had a really bad nightmare last night." I said. It wasn't a lie really. James was a really bad nightmare.
Mr. Cullen doesn't look like he buys it, but he drops it, and helps me stand. I feel weaker than yesterday.
"I don't think you should go to school, you look worse than yesterday." He says matter of factly.
"I'm okay." I say, and force a smile. I know it doesn't reach my eyes. I let go of him, and walk out to his car just to prove my point. I do my best to hide the fact that halfway there, I am completely out of breath, and struggling not to collapse. He just sighs, and helps me into his car.
We stop at Dunkin Donuts again before school. This time I barely touch the sandwich. He notices, and mentions it, but drops it when I say I'm not really hungry. I can't imagine putting anything else in my system right now. I am too disgusted.
"See you at English. " I say, sending a wave his way. He looks worried, but he returns it.
I don't even make it to lunch before I know I can't take anymore. The girl's had been being nasty to me. They would call me slut, whore, cunt, and bitch. At first I thought they had somehow found out about James, but then I found out that it was because I had been seen coming to school with Mr. Cullen now, two days in a row.
I didn't care that much what they said, even though it did hit a nerve after the previous night.
However, by fourth period, the class before lunch, I couldn't take three steps without being winded, and I was getting a case of the spins. When I left the building my math class was in, instead of heading towards the cafeteria, I walked to the side of the building, before allowing myself to sink down again. I coughed hard, feeling the pain in my lungs again. I knew I was pushing it. The rain soaked me, and by the time mr. Cullen found me after my text, I was a shivering mess again. I didn't care if I got in trouble, tomorrow, I had to stay home, I couldn't do this again. He seemed to read my mind as he picked me up with a grim look. He brought me to his car, and put the heater on high.
"Bella, I know he said you have to come to school, but you are going to end up killing yourself at this rate." He said, sighing, looking defeated. I had gotten a cough back, and it sounded wet. I knew the fever from the infection had spiked again too, because everything was so dizzy. It was getting hard to breathe even when I wasn't moving. And because of the events from the night prior, I was also mentally worn out.
"I'll stay home tomorrow." I said quietly.
"Good. If you want, you can stay at my place during the day, and I will check on you during lunch?"
I nod slowly. I didn't want to be at my own house.
"Carlisle will clear it with the school. Hopefully that means Charlie won't even find out that you skipped."
"Okay." I sighed, then thought of something that had been bothering me. "Mr. Cullen? I know you are truly a very nice person… but, why do you care so much? Why are you putting so much on the line for me?" I ask quietly.
He frowns, seemingly caught off guard, and pauses to think about it. "Because, someone needs to. Because I feel protective of you, and I care about you. I Don't know why I care this much, to be honest, but I know I can't turn my back." He sighs. "I don't know entirely, Bella. I just—I need to know you're safe."
I nod slowly. "Thank you." I say,
Lunch ends, and he has to leave to go teach. He leaves me in his car for now to get some rest until school is over. By the time he comes out again, I'm freezing again since he had to leave his car off, and I am soaked to the bone. He swears, and takes off his jacket, putting it over me, and turning on the heat again. He drives to his house, and picks me up, bringing me to the guest room again. When he puts me down, I hold onto his shirt, not letting him leave.
"Bella? I need to get you some dry clothes, or you are going to freeze to death." He says. I shake my head, and don't let go. I knew I was being selfish again, but I didn't want him to go away, or let go of me. I wanted to feel safe a little longer.
"Alright, just for a little while." He says, looking torn. He knows it is extremely inappropriate, and so do I, but I don't care. He pulls me carefully onto his lap, and wraps his arms around me. I rest my head on his chest. I hold onto his shirt and let out a contented sigh. I bask in the safety and warmth.
"Bella…. You know this can't happen.." he whispers, seeming to understand something I don't. I know he's right, but I let my selfish side take over. I don't want to admit it's wrong. I know I am developing feelings for him. I know he doesn't feel the same way, but right now, him just holding me Is enough to keep me together.
"Just for right now, please?" I beg him, my voice breaking a little bit as I think of the horrors that await later. I'm afraid James will be back, I am afraid Charlie will hurt me. I am afraid I will never get to see Mr. Cullen again.
Mr. Cullen sighs, looking for conflicted, but gives in. "Just for right now."
I fall asleep, and at first, it is the most peaceful sleep I have had in years, then at some point, it turns back into the nightmares. I wake up gasping, sitting up with cold sweat covering me. Mr. Cullen is nowhere to be seen. I get up slowly, my legs shaking with the effort to keep me up.
I walk out to the living room to see a girl with short black hair sitting on the couch reading a magazine. She is breathtakingly gorgeous.
"Oh, hey! You must be Bella!" She exclaims, before jumping up, a few inches shorter than even me.
"Um…?" I respond, holding onto the doorframe to stay standing.
"Oh, right, come sit!" she says, and immediately helps to the couch. I notice then that there are a lot of new decorations around the apartment.
"Where's Mr. Cullen?"
Something flashes in her eyes, and she sighs. "He had to leave for a bit. I'm going to take you home soon.
"Did something happen..?" I don't know why, but I suddenly had a bad feeling.
"Um, no, not really. I just thought it would be good for you to meet me anyway. I am gonna give you rides from now on. Oh, and tomorrow you are staying at my place! It's gonna be super fun!" She says, clapping her hands like a five year old.
"But, I thought I was staying here… Did.. Did I do something wrong?"
"Nope. You didn't. Come on, lets get you home." She said.
Twenty minutes later, I was home, and still confused. As I slowly made my way inside, I saw that James, and another person I didn't know, with long black hair, and black skin was here. I almost turned and ran right out the door, but Charlie grabbed me before I could. "Decided you would come home late. Didn't think I would be home early, did ya?! Lucky for you, You have guests, so I will spare you this time."
At eleven o'clock, I text Mr. Cullen the normal text, this one a complete lie, saying I was okay. I waited, but I didn't get a response back.
I curled up, hugging a pillow to me, and crying. I knew something was up now, and he was the only one keeping me together.
R&R if you love me! pleaaaseee.
