A/N Okay, so I haven't updated in a while. I know. Don't make it worse, I already have Anthony the squirrel tracking me down. However, I love you all, so I am staying alive for you :) Oh, and I said that I wouldn't be able to do a guest? I lied. I could fit someone in. NOW REEEEEEAD! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! jk...funny how I say that at the beginning of chapter 7 of a vampire story...haha...now seriously. READ.

Chapter 7: Touche.

PillowBiter1901: Edward

HotDog: Jacob

RunsW/Wolves: Nessie

FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Emmett

MotherOfIdiots: Esme

Dr.McSparkly: Carlisle

adorablePIXIE: Alice

DaChillPill: Jasper

SEXblondIE: Rosalie

Bite x Me: Bella

PillowBiter1901has entered chat room

Bite x Me has entered chat room

PillowBiter1901: Hello Bella :)

Bite x Me: Hey Eddy, you remember, on our honeymoon, when you all went into shock, right?

PillowBiter1901: yeah...what about it?

Bite x Me: well...I was wondering...could that happen again in any other situations?

PillowBiter1901: Well, yes. It could happen if a vampire is asked a question that involves complete absurdity, yet is still to challenging to decode.

Bite x Me: English, please Eddy. That would help.

PillowBiter1901: that WAS English.

Bite x Me: Well, dumb it down a bit!!

PillowBiter1901: Stupid questions.

Bite x Me: OH! Oh...

PillowBiter1901: -sigh- what now?

Bite x Me: well...I kind of asked Carlisle what 'IDK' means...

PillowBiter1901: and what did he say?

Bite x Me: he said 'I don't know'

PillowBiter1901: mmhmm. And you said...?

Bite x Me: I asked him, "Well, then who knows?" and he just froze.

PillowBiter1901: and where is he now...?

Bite x Me: wait...I thought Jasper was the therapist...

PillowBiter1901: he is. Just answer the question, love.

Bite x Me: um...well...in the basement...

PillowBiter1901: Bella, we don't have a basement.

Bite x Me: Then where did I put him...?

PillowBiter1901: I don't know.

Bite x Me: ...who cares?

PillowBiter1901: indeed.

RunsW/Wolveshas entered chat room

RunsW/Wolves: Hey, mom, 2 questions. 1, why is Carlisle in Alice's Porsche?

Bite x Me: ...no reason...maybe he wanted to go...shopping...

RunsW/Wolves: yeeeeahhh...I doubt it. Anyway, how was I made?

Bite x Me: oh, you see, we were just talking about what happened afte—

PillowBiter1901: Bella?

Bite x Me: yes?

PillowBiter1901: No.

Bite x Me: okay.

PillowBiter1901: Well Nessie, when people get married, they go places and do...married people things...and when me and Bella did these...special things...we came home and...POOF! You just...came out of...nowhere...

Bite x Me: wow that was awkward...

RunsW/Wolves: Will Jake and I get to do these things when we get married?

PillowBiter1901: I certainly hope not!

RunsW/Wolves: why?

PillowBiter1901: because...I said so.

RunsW/Wolves: that's not fair!!

PillowBiter1901: Oh well.

HotDog has entered chat.

HotDog: Nice job Nessie ;)

Bite x Me: Wait, WHAT?!

HotDog: Bella, it was a set up. I told Nessie to say that, just to see your reactions. And, if I should be so obliged as to say so, they were priceless. Plus, Nessie already knows about...that.

PillowBiter1901: first, no, you are definitely NOT obliged to say so. Second, how?

HotDog: I told her.

PillowBiter1901: you...WHAT?! Jacob, if you say what I think you just said, then I will hit you so hard that you will wish you weren't real.

HotDog: First, I typed it. Unless you can't read, then you already know that I mean it. Or do I have to spell it out for you? I. TOLD. HER. ABOUT. SEX.

Bite x Me: Ugh, Jake, you know I hate when you do that! Finish your sentences, we don't need ANOTHER Rosalie!! (one is more than enough...)

HotDog: Sure Bells, whatever, and I completely agree with the 'not needing even one Rosalie' statement.

Bite x Me: I DID NOT SAY THAT!! Not in THOSE words...

HotDog: It was implied.

Bite x Me: Touche.

FluffumsTheTeddyBear has entered chat.

DaChillPill has entered chat.

HotDog: Oh, anyway, I didn't finish. Bella distracted me. Second, you can't make me wish that I wasn't real, cuz, technically, we aren't real. We were all created by Stephenie Meyer, the literary Jesus.

PillowBiter1901: Fine. I will hit you so hard that...you'll wish that you were real.

HotDog: Oh, wow, burnt. Pshhhh...no.

PillowBiter1901: You get the point. I will hit you hard.

Bite x Me: Hey, speaking of Stephenie Meyer, did any of you read that book that she recommended?

RunsW/Wolves: The Hunger Games?

Bite x Me: YEAH!! THAT ONE!! That book was uh-mazing. Freakin fantastic! I see now why Stephenie was recommending it to total strangers in Target.

FluffumsTheTeddyBear: OMIGOSH, STEPHENIE WORKS AT TARGET?!

DaChillPill: No you dipshit.

FluffumsTheTeddyBear: I LIKE, NEED TO GO MEET HER!!

DaChillPill: Dude, she doesn't work at Target.

FluffumsTheTeddyBear: But she said...

DaChillPill: And, plus, why would she need to work at TARGET when she makes millions off of 4 books that she wrote?

FluffumsTheTeddyBear: But of course she is making millions off the books, seeing as I stared in them.

DaChillPill: Woah, conceited much?

FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Conceited cuz I gotta reason.

DaChillPill: Touche.

sekhmetkitty002 has entered chat.

FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Oh, look! Another of my adoring fans!! :) what can I do for you?

sekhmetkitty002: umm...what?

DaChillPill: No, she is obviously stalking me.

sekhmetkitty002: Woah, stalking? Hello. I don't stalk.

PillowBiter1901: or do you...? whose to say she's not stalking me?

FluffumsTheTeddyBear: whose to say she's a she?

PillowBiter1901: she's a she. Why else would she be stalking me?

FluffumsTheTeddyBear: you have gay fans too, Eddie.

PillowBiter1901: As do you.

FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Touche.

sekhmetkitty002: No, I am most definitely a she.

PillowBiter1901: See?

FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Whatever.

HotDog: that's right, whatever, cuz she's stalking me, fur sure.

PillowBiter1901: pshhhh, why would she be stalking YOU?? I mean, you smell...bad. Really bad. Like, seriously.

HotDog: So do you.

PillowBiter1901: Touche.

HotDog: Anyway, she would be stalking me cuz...

HotDog: I'm.

HotDog: Too sexy for my shirt.

HotDog: Too sexy for my shirt.

HotDog: So sexy it huuuuurts.

FluffumsTheTeddyBear: No stealing my thunder. Not cool, wolfie.

PillowBiter1901: Did you really HAVE to write that? Was it really necessary?

HotDog: Yes.

PillowBiter1901: Wrong answer, pup.

Bite x Me: Edward, don't kill him for being right.

PillowBiter1901: what?

Bite x Me: Well, yeah. He IS too sexy for his shirt. I mean, is he ever wearing one? Do you even OWN shirts, Jake?

HotDog: Maybe. If I do, they're all gathering dust ;)

Bite x Me: nicccccce.

Bite x Me: Hey, are you stalking anyone?

Bite x Me: No, not you. To the left.

Bite x Me: Yes, yes...wait stop, yes you!

Bite x Me: No, a little more to the right...there!

Bite x Me: No, left...YOU! YES YOU!!

sekhmetkitty002: Me?

Bite x Me: UGH! WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP ASKING THAT?! YES YOU!!

sekhmetkitty002: Oh. No, I'm not stalking any one.

Bite x Me: You sure?

sekhmetkitty002: Yep.

Bite x Me: You sure?

sekhmetkitty002: Positive.

Bite x Me: Okay, you—

PillowBiter1901: Bella.

Bite x Me: Okay. So...if ur not a stalker, prove it.

sekhmetkitty002: k...how?

Bite x Me: Tell me...what are your view on Fruit Loops?

sekhmetkitty002: O...kay? Fruit loops? I used to love them when I was little. They turn the cereal
milk a weird pinkish color and make it taste funny. Plus, I think the toucan
is scary, even as far as cereal mascots go. I mean, it takes skill to make "fruity-licous" sound scary.

Bite x Me: I agree.

FluffumsTheTeddyBear: I think that Fruit Loops are just gay Cheerios.

Bite x Me: I expected that out of you, Emmett.

DaChillPill: I think they are just wanna-be Lifesavers.

Bite x Me: What?

DaChillPill: I mean, like, yeah. They totally look the same. I think it is a patent bend. Like the whole 'Rock Band' and 'Guitar Hero' deal. They totally copied the idea.

FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Totally.

DaChillPill: No mocking me.

Bite x Me: Lifesavers are patented?!

DaChillPill: leDUH. Where have you been Bella, under a rock or something?

Bite x Me: OME HOW DID YOU KNOW?!

DaChillPill: Okay then.

HotDog: I agree with the emo one. Plus, the Fruit Loops are better lifesavers than the Lifesavers!! Think about it. The Fruit Loop would eventually just shrivel up and slide down your throat or something. The Lifesaver would just sit there, stuck in your throat, allowing some air, while at the same time slowly suffocating you do death. A slow, and very painful death.

Bite x Me: How can you choke on a Fruit Loop?

HotDog: exACTLY.

DaChillPill: Who would be stupid enough to choke on a Lifesaver?

Bite x Me:: Emmett.

DaChillPill: Touche.

A/N hope you liked it!! REVIEW! Seriously, it's like my crack. Your reviews I mean. Yeah, those. Anywhoos, thanks to icefairy94 for giving me the Fruit Loops/ Stalker approach. THANKIES!!

Oh, and I thought I would end with a funny thing that happened a lunch a few days ago, cuz I can't seem to get it out of my head, and I am thinking that the only possible way to stop laughing at random intervals because of this uber-duper randomtastic monent would be to write it down. So, here it is:

Me, Paula (Alice), and Felicity (Emmett) Were all talking:

me: And then we all just said, like, China is a fail country. I mean, the lead paint and all. That's a fail.

Paula: pshhh...yeah.

Felicity: what are you talking about?

Me: China.

(Megan B. On the other side of the table)

Megan B. : DID YOU JUST SAY VAGINA?!

And then we all started laughing cuz she didn't hear me right. Plus, she said it SO loud, and every one was reallly quiet when she said it, so, like, half the grade heard her. You had to be there LOL

Haha, Megan, haha.

Jazz