Most of the lights were out when they returned to the house, but, standing at the bottom of the stairs, Face could see the soft glow of a reading light coming from the door.
He really wasn't sure about this. The idea of going up there and telling his best friend that he was in love with him was terrifying. He didn't know why. It wasn't like he thought that HM didn't like him that way, he'd always thought that he and the pilot would eventually get together and he sincerely hoped that Kyleen wouldn't tell him to do it if she knew that HM didn't feel the same.
"You know," he jumped, having forgotten she was still in the room. He turned to see her standing behind the couch, arms folded. "Of all the things Hon's told me about you, the one thing he's never mentioned was that you were a coward." He glared at her, she smiled back. "Glad we're in agreement. Now, will you please go upstairs and tell my son that you love him or, at the very least, apologize for being a jackass earlier."
She turned, walked across the living room to the door of the bedroom he used the night before, closing the door behind her.
Face slowly started up the stairs. There weren't that many, but he managed to take a full minute. At the top, he stood, smoothing his shirt, brushed off any dirt off his pants and ran a hand through his hair. Unable to stall anymore, he raised a hand, rapped a knuckle on the door. At the murmur from inside, he slowly twisted the knob, easing the door open.
He spotted HM immediately He was sitting in the window seat, facing away from the door. His hands plucked softly at the strings of a guitar.
"Yow Finden Hine? Hine Fere?" He asked. At Face's 'Um' he turned around. Their eyes met, so much floating around in the blue-green before the pilot went back to plucking at the guitar. Walking over and easing his way onto the window seat, Face tried to think of the best way to start. The pilot beat him to it.
"I'm sorry, Face." The guilt he already felt at hurting HM only worsened.
"Don't apologize, HM. I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have acted that way. I was being selfish, again, and I hurt you. It's just..." he sighed, his fantasy of growing up with HM still running through his head. "You had the home life I always wanted. "
HM put down the guitar, nudged one of his toes against Face's thigh until the conman turned in the window seat to face him, knees touching, ankles laced.
"That's why I didn't tell you before. I knew it was a touchy issue for you and our situations were so different that it didn't seem to matter. But I HAVE wanted to tell you."
"So..." Face said into the silence. "Should I call you McShane now?" HM laughed.
"I haven't used McShane since I was seven. You can still call me Murdock."
"What was your mom like?"
"Mama?" HM shifted so that his head was leaning on the window, but his eyes never left Face's. "Mama was beautiful. She was short, only came up to Kyleen's eyes. Her hair was soft strawberry blond. Our eyes were the same color, even thought she wasn't really my mother. She was pale, I don't know if that was normal or if it was the sickness. There was a smattering of freckles on her cheeks. I remember sitting on her lap and playing connect the dots with my finger. She was really upset the one time I used ink. Kyleen helped me escape a serious spanking from that." He laughed.
HM kept talking. Story after story. Funny, sad, informative, they just kept coming. Face had a small epiphany that maybe his friend needed to talk, not to Kyleen, who already knew, or to any of the therapist he had seen in the hospitals. But to someone else, someone who he..." Face shook that thought away and added stories from the few foster homes he had been in.
They talked for hours. Face wasn't sure when the moved from the window seat to the bed, but they were lying on their side, facing each other. Face watched as HM blinked before smiling sleepily at him. He smiled back, raising a finger to brush back the longish bangs.
"HM?" the pilot opened his eyes. "I-I-" he couldn't do it. Looking into the wonderful eyes, he couldn't do it. The eyes closed.
"What, Facey?" it was sighed out as HM's breathing evened out.
"I love you." He told the sleeping man.
