A/N: Merry christmas and happy chanukah! And whatever other holidays you may celebrate (for me, I don't care what it's called as long as I get free time. Can you believe they're only just letting us off on christmas eve? They obviously want us to relax the least amount possible. And I still have work to do over the break....)!

Whew, longer chapter then normal. And guess what: something actually happens! (I know, right? Wow!)
Thank you all a million times over for your brilliant reviews and all the alerts and faves I've been getting! (And here I thought
Six Months of Man-Love was going to be my most popular story. Impressive.)

Reviews make me very, very happy. Think you guys can pass the 100 mark?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor anything associated with it, including dastardly chuunin that will kill us all! Everybody run!

Uchiha Undercover
Chapter Nine

Fifth Meeting: Arrest

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This is the last meeting. I've gotta make it count.

With a final mental pep talk, Naruto slid off his seat on the railing and into the crowd – it was particularly busy today, with travelers and vendors milling about – and made his way toward his target. Sighting a tall man with the same auburn hair and brown eyes as himself, the jinchuuriki pushed the last of the people aside viciously to make a clearing and pointed an accusing finger at Itachi.

"Oi! You! Get over here and fight me like a man!"

The harsh yell made the people surrounding him jerk back in surprise and turn, openly staring at his brash behavior at the seemingly innocent man. Easily weathering their disapproving glares, he ran forward and pulled his teammate around to face him harshly. "You fucking stole my woman! How could you?!"

Itachi glanced up condescendingly as if he had only just noticed his counterpart's loud presence

"Just because we're twins does not mean we have to share everything! She was mine, Hiro! And you took her away!" Naruto roared his accusations, rearing back to sock Itachi in the jaw with the best of his stagefighting ability. His contact provided a nice sound effect with a discreet fist pounding into his concealed hand.

One particularly delicate woman fainted.

The assaulted brother ignored her and spoke slowly with a pained smirk. "We're not sharing; she doesn't want you at all. She said you're pathetic and that I'm a better lay in the first place.

Naruto made a show of gritting his teeth in fury and lunged. "You…!"

Itachi braced himself for the onslaught but then relaxed as a burly man wearing an official uniform appeared out of nowhere to restrain his attacker. "Thanks, man," he gasped through the nonexistent pain his brother had inflicted on him.

The officer watched him curiously for a few seconds before reaching out to grab Itachi's shirt as well – much to Naruto's delight – and dragged him along, Naruto giving him a death glare from over the man's shoulder. "Sorry," he flatly declared, "but you're just as much at fault as he is, from what I heard, especially considering that you're the reason he made a disturbance in the first place."

Giving the viciously protesting brother a harsh tug, he towed the two of them along until they reached a starkly forbidding building. "Prison sweet prison." The officer greeted the ugly building with a skeptical smile. "Man, I hate this place. And if I hate it, you guys should be scared. Real scared. They have bona-fide ninja in here – I happen to know that they keep a chuunin down in the lower levels. Just hope you don't get tossed anywhere near him, boys."

Naruto rolled his eyes. And what would the guy say if he knew that he was towing an ANBU captain and S-class criminal and had a kage-in-training in the other arm? Pssh. A chuunin. The fact that the Land of Waves didn't have a ninja village of its own really showed. It was almost laughable – especially when you consider that if the building was built to restrain a chuunin at most, then the two of them would have no trouble whatsoever escaping and going on their merry way.

The man had made his way inside, by that point, and plopped them down in front of two increasingly muscled wardens. "See ya, and try not to get too beat up in there. It was fun knowin' you!"

Itachi masked a snort in a cough, massaging the area on his face where Naruto had allegedly punched him. The guards ignored his pain and grabbed them by the arms, dragging them stumbling and cursing down two flights of dank, musty stairs and into what amounted to a cage sequestered in a lonely corner. "In."

The two nin complied, watching forlornly as the door clanged shut, rust flaking off the bars with the bang. Naruto plopped himself down on the floor as the wardens retreated, glad to be out of the public eye at last. "That was certainly a trial. One of the hardest things I've ever done, making it seem like I was beating on an innocent. You okay?"

Itachi had slumped against the door, facing his teammate. "I suppose…I keep thinking that if I go out in public someone will know who I am under this henge and I'll be caught. It's only a typical case of paranoia, but it still makes an impact."

Naruto sighed and leaned against the wall, head thunking against the moldy stone. "But now you're done. I have orders from Tsunade-baachan to bring you home at any cost."

The once-raven looked up. "Godaime-sama said that? I don't believe I gave any sign that I needed to pull out immediately in my last scroll…"

The jinchuuriki grinned sheepishly. "Well, I was actually the one that prodded her about it, initially, but it didn't take that long for her to agree after I got Inoichi in on it and he advocated for my cause."

The Uchiha's eyes widened in anger and his henge broke as he was across the cell in a flash, straddling Naruto with a kunai to the throat. "You told Yamanaka-soutaicho? How could you?! This is not his problem!" He hissed in Naruto's ear, long black hair brushing the blonde's face. "I could have handled it!"

Naruto's henge cracked and shattered as he lowered his voice an octave, determined to get two things through the distressed shinobi's head. "Itachi! You obviously cannot handle it, or we wouldn't be in this position! And I did it because I care about you! Is that really so terrible, for me to be concerned with your welfare?!"

Itachi stiffened as the statement registered and black eyes flashed blood red as he took hold of Naruto's hair, pulling the captain's head forward and meeting soft lips with his own. The blonde stilled in surprise before realizing what the slim man was doing. Pulling away, he drew an arm over his reddened lips quickly and regarded the pale face in shock. "What the hell?"

The spy watched him warily, confused. "You said that you care for me. I am attempting to prove that I do too. Do you not…feel the same way?"

Naruto blinked.

And blinked again.

"Wait, what?"

Itachi sighed and pulled himself off of his partner, sitting on the chilled slates in front of him. "These past few months… this is odd for me to be saying this, I know, but I truly feel that they have been some of the best in my life. Previously, I was simply living for Sasuke and additionally, for Konoha, but knowing and interacting with you pleases me. I don't know how else to express my want to be near you, so I assumed I should simply alert you in the most forward and direct way I could think of."

Naruto stared at him nervously. "Wait…you left the village at thirteen…and didn't have a very familial atmosphere while in Konoha anyway…Did you ever get 'the birds and the bees' talk?"

Itachi snorted softly. "Please, Naruto. I may be repressed, but I am not quite that repressed. There were plenty of chances in Akatsuki."

The blonde frowned. "Chances?"

He was answered with a brief nod. "Hidan is quite the sex fiend and Deidara and Sasori have no shame, trust me."

Naruto's eyes widened as the image entered him mind. "Them? Aw, man. Yuck. Bad mental picture…But that's not what I was asking. So you do realize that you can't have kids with men?"

The Uchiha eyed him flatly. "Really, Naruto? I hadn't realized."

The kage-in-training had the decency to blush, ducking his head embarrassedly. "But…If we were together, you wouldn't be able to continue Uchiha. And unless Sasuke and Neji break up, the line will be lost forever. Is that really what you want?"

Itachi frowned. "I personally don't care, one way or another. Sometimes I think about it and I realized that seeing more children in the complex again would probably just hurt more than it ever could help – although if otouto decides to get a wife, that would be fine with me," he amended quickly. "But it was always him that wanted to repopulate the clan. Not me. I have…I have known I liked men since I was twelve. It's one of the reasons Father began distancing himself from me and started helping Sasuke. It wasn't right for an Uchiha, let alone the heir to the clan, to be gay. It just didn't happen."

Naruto thought back to Sasuke and gave a laugh. "Your dad must be pissed to high heaven, wherever he is, that both his noble sons of Uchiha have gone to the dark side. But don't worry, nobody will think less of you in any way for your choice."

Itachi smiled softly, looking off to the side. "Oh, I know, Naruto. Some people figured it out before I left, and while they teased me mercilessly about it, they never thought less of me for it. Anko being a prime example."

The captain looked like he had just sucked on a lemon. "Anko? Oh, my. That was daring of you."

"Not in the least. Anko keeps secrets very well and is quite understanding when she wants to be. She probably just doesn't seem that way to you because you haven't taken her out for dango yet. She's like you, in a way; the way to their hearts is through their stomachs. And you seem to be equally, if not more, understanding."

Naruto let out a breath slowly. "Well, to tell the truth, I feel pretty much the same way about you, and I know a good, slightly less shocking way to express it."

Dark eyebrows raised in question as the blonde leaned forward, closing the gap between them. "I love you, Uchiha Itachi."

The man's eyes widened in understanding. "So that's what you're supposed to say…I was wondering about that; Hidan never mentioned it and Mother and Father never did either. Well," he paused, "I love you, Uzumaki Naruto, and would be delighted to live with you."

The number one unpredicatable ninja in Konoha pulled back indignantly. "I didn't say that!"

Itachi smiled – a real one this time, Naruto noted happily – and leaned back on his hands. "No, you didn't, but it's inferred."

The blonde realized that Sasuke probably would never let him live in the Uchiha compound, so Itachi's words were well founded. "God dammit, you're right. I hate it when you're right."

"It's all part of knowing everything, Naru-chan."

The younger captain glared at the other and then began laughing happily. "If you know everything, than what's the easiest way to get out of this place, loverboy?"

Itachi's eyes gained a devious glint as he tapped his chin with one finger. "Well, there's this one chuunin…"

Naruto grinned.

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