Note : I know I'm exploring psychological aspects of the characters and situations a lot, and that I'm giving a bad role to L and Near, but I wanted to get out of the usual pattern, and I need to explain what's in their head otherwise the plot wouldn't have much sense.
I skip time to head toward the main plot of the story, that is to say when they're teenagers, that's when serious actions will really begin. So don't be mad at me for not describing childhood that much, I only write some of it to set their background but there's not much more to say except that they grow, they study and stuff ^_~
I've tried to separate paragraphs more, to please the readers that don't like my format ^^
Oh, and BTW, this fic is TOTALLY AU so don't expect anything similar to the manga here, nor later ;)
And to reply to Iwalkinthelight, Mello's dad was a Mafia boss, he was not killed by the Mafia, maybe that part of the story was a bit confusing.

I'm giving MarshMellos to reviewers ! Please, you are so many to read me, I'd like to know what you think of this fic ! I'm not writing for reviews, but reviews help improving ! Or am I that good ? *lol* sorry ^^


June, 17th, 1996
"Monday morning, weekly ranking !" sang Roger while he was pinning the pages to the wall. He was always delighted to see all those freaky creatures surrounding him, eager to see the judgement, how they called it. He hated children, but he was fascinated by these super minds. Clever enough to hack into the FBI and yet so bound to these weekly statements of their personal value. Here, humanity had long ago left its rights to performance. Children were in training, used to the bone, only the best would be left in the end. Natural selection in a fauna of laboratory rats.

You could see two different patterns here : the ones that never knew what a family was, that never received love or comfort, so they didn't expect anything, because you can't wait for something you don't know the existence of. And the ones that once had loving parents and that lost everything, that quickly had to erase all expectations of pity and comfort and shield themselves against the firsts.

The lack of knowledge of human feelings made the firsts be extremely strong and uncaring, while the seconds usually became overly competitive to try to gain a value. But the result was the same in the end : insanity.

Mello quickly understood that. He perfectly knew he was wavering between the two categories, and had to be careful. He had always been extremely sensitive, and the latest events in his and Matt's life had obliged him to block it all inside not to fall apart, he couldn't, he was the strongest of them both and had made a promise he would always keep. But he felt himself change to an uncaring AND competitive student. Except Matt, he couldn't stand anyone. He hated people, conversations, contacts. But he wanted to beat them all and be the best. This way, he would be sure he could always provide Matt everything he would need.

Matt saw Mello change, little by little, everyday. He himself changed, locking himself from the world, forbidding anything and anyone to reach him. He didn't feel the need for contact, he had Mello. He didn't even need to study hard, he was third and didn't care anyway. He was only studying the minimal amount of time because he studied with Mello sometimes, and he liked it. And he studied computer with him because it was a weak point for Mello, so Mello could catch up without noticing. Matt didn't want Mello to feel he needed help, so he always made sure to provide the help before Mello even noticed he had difficulties.

From the time they had been assigned to the level 2 class with the albino kid, Mello had always been second and Matt third. No matter how hard Mello tried, he could never be number one. That pissed him off even more that the white haired boy never really seemed to study or care in class.

Matt had once been called in Quilsh Wammy's office. Mello had insisted to go with him, so Wammy had let both children in.
He had explained to Matt how he was disappointed because he knew the child could study more, and be number one. Matt had blushed, feeling Mello's gaze on him.

Once outside, he thought Mello would yell at him. The number one spot was a delicate topic with Mello. He couldn't beat Near, and now his best friend was kind of betraying him, Matt extrapolated. They slowly walked to their room, and as the door closed behind them, Mello fell into his arms and hugged him.
"Mello ?" Matt whispered, stunned.
"I'm sorry Matt... I'll work harder, I promise !" the blond child's fists balled in determination.
"What are you saying ?!" the redhead withdrew a bit from his friend to look at him.
"If you are number one, then Near will be between us, and I'm only third, and how am I supposed to take care of you if I'm that bad ?"
"There's one area where you'll always be the best, and it's being my friend, the rest is just bullshits to me. Even if everyone here goes by marks and rankings, I don't, never forget that."
That's when Mello knew he would never lose his sanity.

September 13th, 1996
Mello woke up earlier than the usual 6am on class days. Hungry for chocolate, he decided to sneak out of the room to the kitchen while everyone was still asleep. He had only slightly opened the bedroom door when he caught a glimpse of a black tuft of hair leaving Near's room and heading downstairs. L.
Not long after, as he had stolen some bars and was going back to his and Matt's room, he saw the albino at the end of the corridor. Near didn't see him, and entered the library.
What is he doing in the library at 4h30am ? The blond child wondered.

Chewing on his chocolate, he followed the white haired kid and found him nose plunged in a book about Descartes. Five other books were piled on the desk he was sat at. Russia's seas and rivers, history of American Civil War, Beethoven's musical analysis, and he didn't have the time to see the last two. Near's head shot up and he quickly grabbed the books to put them out of sight.
Mello shrugged his shoulders, turned around, uninterested, and headed back to his bedroom.

Later that day in class, during the first lesson, the students had the apparently usual after vacations test, that consisted of six questions from the previous year's lessons.
It's only when Mello read the questions that he knew. The first question was about Beethoven's musical analysis, the second concerned Russia's rivers, the third was some arithmetic, the fourth about American Civil War, the fifth was a french language translation, and the sixth was an essay about Descartes' philosophy.
Near cheated ! There was no way he accidentally studied these topics this morning, and so early moreover.
That explained why the little brat was almost never seen studying, but playing his toys. Mello was pretty sure L was involved in this. He seemed too close to Near not to know what was going on and the fact he visited Near this morning probably meant he had given him the questions from the test.

Mello never said a word about what he had discovered. He was not a telltale, and didn't want to risk his presence here with Matt. He thought that saying what he knew would somewhat anger L and maybe he would be thrown away from Wammy's, and being separated from Matt would be the end of his world. So he kept it for himself, but he grew a hate for the albino so deep inside of his soul that he felt himself lose it.

After class, Matt and Mello were both in their room. Matt was playing his games while Mello was pacing back and forth nervously.
"Mello ? Something's wrong ?" the redhead asked after several minutes.
"I hate Near." the blond replied.
"Huh ?"
"Nevermind... let's play !" Mello tried to focus on the game. He didn't want to utter the words that were burning his tongue since the morning : Near is a fucking cheater, I'm the number one, and L is not and will never be my model like he is for all those shoes lickers.

He kept on losing the game they were playing but he didn't mind, he knew that was a domain he couldn't beat Matt in. He smiled as his eyes fell on his friend, concentrated and fingers flickering above the buttons of the controller. His anger disappeared all of a sudden when he realised what his morning discovery implied.
I know I can keep my promise. Matt... Mail, I can take care of you. But I'll try to beat Near anyway, because I want to surpass him even if he cheats.

September 1st, 1997
The new scholar year had begun. There were no new faces this year, but many of the elder had left, too old to be kept here, or because they had been surpassed by much younger students and therefore couldn't be considered on top anymore. Only L had stayed, as he used an office at Wammy's to solve his cases, and helped Wammy and Roger run the orphanage. Actually, his role was more to evaluate the kids and their legitimacy in the house, and gauge the overall atmosphere and attitudes to do so. He had considered Quilsh Wammy too much of a fatherly figure to be neutral in this, and Roger was far from being smart and didn't care enough about the children to really know them so he wouldn't trust him either on that point.

Quilsh Wammy loved L as his son, although he knew he had made many mistake when raising him. And now the black haired teenager was reproducing the same mistakes, on a far more intruding level as he didn't have the social skills and knowledge of human feelings required to understand that he was going too far. It was what he had known and he would apply the same, without remorse or understanding, to the children here, because they needed to be little copies of him, nothing less, nothing more.

Mello had been forced to be in the rugby team. The previous years had seen him grow as a tough and temperamental kid and due to many fighting incidents and cases of teachers snapping, Roger had thought he needed an outlet for his anger.

Mello was standing fully equipped on the pitch, bored, looking at his team mates running and practising. Matt was standing close to the wire barrier, looking at Mello.
"Mello, what are you waiting for ?!" the trainer yelled at the blond boy.
"The end of the training." Mello spat without looking.
"Run, now !" the trainer yelled even louder.
"NO."

The trainer didn't insist but he came back in charge when the team separated in two for a training match.
A glimpse of malice lit in Mello's eyes as he glanced at Matt. Smirking under his helmet, he joined his team.
It's only a few minutes later that the trainer understood that Mello didn't participate to the match because he complied to the training. Mello was actually ruining it on purpose.

"Mello ! Do I have to remind you the rules ?" the man screamed, approaching the tornado that had knocked down two players of his own team.
"I. Don't. Care. About. Rules." Mello said coldly.
"Out ! NOW !" the trainer fired him from the field, ready to tear the last few hair he had left on his almost bald head.

After that, Mello was never forced to do anything anymore.

"That's good you're not playing out anymore." Matt said, once they were back in their room.
"Huh ?" Mello glanced at him. The redhead replied, not raising the eyes from his Gameboy : "I don't see my screen really well because of the sun."
A pillow flew through the room, landing on Matt's head, who simply pushed it away before focusing again on his device.
"You fucking geek !" Mello laughed.
"You swear too much Mello."
"You're not obliged to follow me outside you know ?" Mello stated.
"No, but I do follow you anyway." Matt replied.

Mello liked Matt's way to imply he cared. The more they grew, the less these things were easy to say, particularly in such a hostile environment, and Mello knew it would never get any better so he held on to those little things dearly.
Matt was not one to express himself, he hardly ever commented on his own feelings, not would he show them, simply locking everything inside so no one would use them against him. But he would let Mello have a peep at them sometimes, just because Mello would ruffle his red tuft of hair and chuckle. This chuckle that contained a hint of I love you too in it.

December 24th, 1998
This day was one of the few every year when adults as well as students allowed a certain changed inside the orphanage. Christmas vacations meant being able to wander in the building almost freely, participations to shopping trips in town or baking sessions for Christmas cookies and pastries with the cooks in the huge kitchens of the house.

"What a waste of time" L whispered as he gazed over the large hall full of children reading, chatting or playing around an immense decorated tree.
"It's Christmas, L, give them some rest, they're only children after all." Wammy reprimanded him.
"What's the point of resting ? They should be studying. Did I go as far as I am now by resting ? " L replied coldly.
"L, you may have learned a lot by never resting, but you still need to learn indulgence." Wammy sighed, "You're already constantly entertaining the competition by having Near as the target to reach, let them breathe sometimes. You don't know how hard it can be for children to try to reach a level you put out of reach by cheating with Near, and to try to be the best to your eyes." the old man added.

"Near is a genius, and therefore will be able to succeed me, but I need him to appear as number one without a single fail and won't only count on his abilities to do so, because he sometimes lacks the will to really succeed, due to his young age. So I don't have a choice in the matter. I'm just disappointed because two of the students could beat him but one doesn't bother doing so, and the other is way too moody to focus completely. But as long as it works with all the others, it's worth it. Near is young, and until he's old enough to succeed me, we need to entertain the level among the elder. We never know what is waiting for us in the future."

"But then, why don't you stop helping Near cheat and let these two reach the top ? They would be the new target for others, wouldn't they ? And without cheating, this time." Wammy questioned.

"Matt will never be number one, he doesn't want to and I have deduced that he stays one step behind Mello on purpose. And Mello is not Near. Near is laid back and uncaring and therefore can carry the weight I have put on his shoulders, attacks don't reach him and he never fights back. Mello as number one would be like nominating Hitler as the world master, it's obvious this kid has a dark temper and he would simply intimidate anyone in his way, there would be no competition possible. I need people to hate and want to beat the number one, not to fear him to the point no one dares taking his spot." the dark haired teenager replied. "But well, these three have grown a lot and they will be ready in a few years, I just hope they won't kill each other before that..."

"Then that would make you responsible of that." the old man looked at L, surprised by such a harsh statement.
"I can live with that." L said blankly, and walked away to his office.

November 6th, 1999
It all started with a hungry Matt that had skipped dinner because he didn't want to stop playing his new game, complaining he was almost level 100 and wanted to reach it before saving.
Mello, after dinner, had come back in the room to find Matt still playing, so he had sat criss crossed on his bed to study. Around 9pm, the gamer's stomach started growling so the blond had given him two chocolate bars and Matt had eaten them avidly once he finally saved after level 100. But not being used to sugary sweets had him over excited and too full of energy for a tired Mello that had began to undress to go to bed.

He was standing close to his bed, only wearing sweat pants, when a pillow landed on the back of his head.
"Matt, you're gonna regret this, bastard" Mello sighed, turning around to face his friend with an annoyed expression on his face, quickly replaced by a laughter when he saw Matt, acting like a super hero, mimic a flight and push him on the bed, landing on top of him and beating him with the pillow.
"Super Matt's going to tickle Bad Mello to death !" the redhead grinned, teasing Mello's ribs, making the boy below him squirm and shriek hysterically.
"No Matt !! Stop that ! I hate being tickled !!"
"That wouldn't be fun if you liked it !" Matt teased him even more.
Mello tried to fight back with the pillow. Matt, wanting to avoid it, slipped and landed sat on Mello's crotch after an unwanted quick friction.
Mello gasped and blushed. They both stopped, staring at each other. Matt's eyes were wide as plates.
"Get off me !!" Mello yelled and pushed Matt so hard he landed on the floor.
"I'm sorry !!" Matt was mortified.
"Hm, ok, let's forget it. Goodnight." Mello turned the light off, trying to hide his embarrassment.
Matt quickly undressed in the dark and got to bed too. It's only a few seconds later that he noticed he was stroking himself unconsciously.


Note : it's not yaoi, I thought it would be useful to precise that point, since they are way too young for that. They are just starting to discover sexuality, physical reactions they are not used to, and shameful (and therefore funny lol) situations that can occur when you share proximity. There will be a time for yaoi later, just be patient !