A/N: I think this chapter will be a little less sappy than the previous one. I will attempt to tone it down and get in touch with some One Piece reality, sorry. Actually, I may fail at that. I have no control.
Chapter 9: Into the Unknown
The air in the cabin smells like old cigarette butts and tangerine peels.
A sniper with a long nose and a newspaper in his hand sits next to a tall dark archeologist on a bench against the wall. On the other side of the table, a lanky and straw-hat clad young boy rests on a stool and in the corner, a moss-head swordsman hulks with three worn sheathed blades in his grasp.
"The new pirate age grows in strength," Usopp reads anxiously from the headlines of a week old newspaper. His clumsy fingers clutched the muddled papers with palpable unease and he barely took a single breath before he continued to read, "following the exploits of several infamous pirate fleets of the region, the Marines and World Government have taken unprecedented action against what appears to be a movement of burgeoning privateers and pirates of the Blues and regions in the Grand Line—" He paused.
Luffy's frank expression did not change. "What does all that mean?"
"Probably some harmless pirates sprung out of these few places," Zoro offered lethargically, fingers lilting over the hilts of the swords at his side, "and like usual the Marines are overreacting."
The newspaper was handed over to the older mature woman next to Usopp. "Fatalities unlisted." The cool woman noted softly after skimming a deliberate eye over the passage.
"You think people are being killed?" Luffy asked, the very subtlest of something like apprehension flashed quickly in his eyes.
"I would bet on it." A fourth voice rang out, its owner stepping inside the den from the opened doorway.
"Nami." Luffy turned his head to face her.
The navigator peeled back the hood of the oilcloth raincoat that covered her head. She shook a few free drops of rain from her hair and shut the heavy cabin door behind her leaving the gloomy wet weather outside.
"That newspaper," she pointed a finger in Robin's direction, "is at least a week old. Anything that has happened since, we can only guess."
Luffy stood quickly and planted two palms face down on the table in front of him with renewed naïve vigor. "Alright, then let's hurry."
"Don't get so anxious," Nami asserted, planting two hands on her hips with slight annoyance.
"Oi Nami," Usopp cut in with his eyes in question, "did we dock? I don't feel the ship moving."
Indeed, the ship was anchored at a small supplies port. The only rocking motion could be discerned from the choppy waves that washed against the sides of the Merry Go, spreading white cold foam.
"You guys," Nami sighed with exasperation. "I hate explaining this over and over again when you don't feel like paying attention at breakfast." She brought a palm to her delicate forehead and rubbed her temples, controlling the annoyance and anxiety that had swelled in her muscles already.
Luckily Robin stepped in. "We're in Kettle Town, with special arrangements." A slight twinkle escaped her eye, only masked by her habitual coolness.
"Special arrangements?" The childlike captain turned his rubber head to face Robin's calming voice.
"You didn't expect all of us to split up one by one, did you Luffy?" Nami asked in vexation. She regained her composure and went on with a little more patience in her tone. "We'll dock Merry Go here. It wouldn't be safe leaving her anywhere else and besides—there's no way we can get across the Red Line or the Calm Belts again with Merry." It would be important for Luffy to understand as Captain. Normally, he did a well enough job muddling by with what information of the situation he could digest in his brain. But now, Nami counted on him. Because it would be Luffy in the end who reunites his nakama.
"Luckily, Kettle Town's crown jewels," Robin smiled gracefully, "are its coated ships."
Understanding flooded Usopp's complexion. He planted an elbow on the table before him excitedly. "So Nami and Sanji are going back to the Blues from here then?" His eyes peered out the porthole window but a slightly unconvinced expression returned with it. "This little place? Really?" He pointed a finger at the tiny mountain of rocks and houses on the beach.
"It may not look like much, but legions of pirates and bounty hunters have crossed in and out of the Grand Line with the help of this town's coated ships." Robin explained with unmatched maturity. "We're in the best position here to leave the ship for all of us to take individual Kettle Town vessels to our respective destinations."
"Then we will all come back here to Kettle Town," Nami finished, her eye wandering for the first time to peek at the green-haired swordsman who was slumped in the corner in his usual stance, knee propped up and arm draped over three blades rested in his chest. There was no discernible emotion in his dark depthless eyes. She swallowed without any observable nervousness in her complexion, "and reunite on the Merry Go."
All four in the cabin turned their heads to face their Captain, who stood tall and confident, above the rest.
Luffy wore a look of sheer poise and unwavering will-power. Even his childlike features receded, the straw hat on his head blotting shadows on his critical expression. He clenched his fists and stared with a level gaze at his nakama who all looked back with not a shred of doubt in their eyes. The faith they had in their captain displayed no worry.
"Then it's settled." Luffy's boundless voice declared.
Zoro's eyes flickered upward to his Captain whose own dreams mattered more to him than anyone else's. He had no reservations about the solid conviction of what Luffy proclaimed, but a slight nagging feeling kept poking at the marimo swordsman. It was very much like an itch that couldn't be located or the source of a noise that couldn't be procured. But this worry was not seemingly peculiar to his own because Usopp's voice broke through Zoro's own subconscious.
"There is one thing nagging me though." With worrisome eyes and a dark complexion, Usopp clenched his lips and asked seriously, "Are you going to East Blue alone, Nami?"
He spelt out what Zoro couldn't place a finger on. The swordsman's clutch on his swords faltered unnoticeably and he barely batted an eye at the sudden quiet in the room.
Nami's breath slowed, her hand slowing curling up fingers to imprint marks on her palm. Her face was calm and cool with strained poise and she blew a relaxed sigh from her lips. The steady hand planted on her right hip threatened to clench into fists, but she halted any hesitance or faltering on her countenance.
"Nami's not going alone." Luffy's naive voice melted the silence. He declared these words but they ended in a questioning inflection, as if the rest of the people in the room were stupid for assuming that Nami would traverse the Grand Line by her lonesome. There was a childlike confusion in his tone and Luffy blinked twice. Seeing that his words provoked a silent incredulous sort of response, he cocked his head to look at Nami skeptically. "Hrnn? Are you, Nami?"
"Baka—!" Usopp smacked Luffy on the shoulder. "Aren't you the one who okay-ed it in the first place?"
Luffy swiveled a confused head. "I did?"
"YES YOU DID." Usopp clasped his own hair. "A few days ago! Right here!" He pointed erratically at the table.
The captain let his comrade's declaration sink in. With a muffled expression and quiet blinking eyes, Luffy jerked his head around to look Nami in the eye mouth agape. "You're going to East Blue alone?" He asked as if suddenly discovering the news.
Nami clenched her jaw, feeling slightly aggravated by the wound up responses to her resolve of going by herself. She was a strong woman, capable of taking care of herself. All those years of living alone surviving as a thief suited her just fine. The woman accepted concern and occasionally hid behind her stronger crewmate counterparts, but the thought of needing an attendant on a self-sacrificing journey back to East Blue mortified her slightly.
"You guys," She tried reassuringly, turning to address everyone, "It's fine really! I don't need help—I mean, I'm fast and I can get out of trouble pretty well by myself, but there's probably nothing to worry about anyways—"
"Take Usopp."
"Me?" The long-nosed sharpshooter exclaimed with a choked cry. "So we can die together?" The lack of confidence in a Nami-and-Usopp duo was evident in his own objection.
"Luffy—" Nami eyed her captain beseechingly.
"Take Zoro then."
Luffy declared it readily, crossing his arms over his chest again. For a moment there was no protest, only silence as the suggestion settled like a cloud of haze onto everyone in the room. Nami's face was twisted into an expression of contorted revulsion. She wanted to shout and cry and proclaim all the reasons why that proposal was a magnanimously terrible idea, but the looks of receptive approval on the faces of her crew only conveyed that her grave was dug.
She jerked her head around to plead at Zoro with her fiery eyes, but the expression caught on his face was the similar one she wore too.
His jaw was opened, eyes narrowed like pinpoints and probably reeling in horror at his captain's suggestion. If he wanted to vehemently reject the idea, he was an expert at hiding it. But the pride and stubbornness in his curved-upward lips and the stony furrowed gaze that smoothed his forehead kept Zoro silent.
Nami was not content with staying quiet. She voiced her misgiving with great animation to make up for what Zoro could not express.
"Luffy!" She gaped, brow narrowed in annoyance. Her strong-willed posture planted angry arms against her hips. "I am not a little girl—I can take care of myself!"
"No one's saying that, Nami." Usopp pleaded for her to level her piercing tone. "It's just that… c'mon, Nami. It's hard enough to go backwards on the Grand Line alone, but you're going back to East Blue!" He waved his arms in the air for effect.
Nami narrowed a sharp glare. "Your point is?"
"Nami…" Usopp entreated, and the remnants of her name danced off the lips of Robin and her captain as well. But she was not to be swayed. That cross and unhesitating look on her face was impassable.
Usopp sank back on his seat and looked over at Zoro with an insistent look.
Zoro closed his own mouth and grimaced. "It's her decision."
"That's right, it's my decision." Nami quipped in and with a final flail of her fingers, she stormed out of the room before her nakama's pleading logic could marinate in her stubborn head.
Later…
"Here are the plans," Nico Robin's plentiful fingers danced across a piece of parchment. On the paper were some numbers and archaic words, but all seemed to point at the special arrangement of a small fleet of coated vessels. She stood on the wooden piers of the tiny sea town with the ship's cook and doctor before her, both groups running into each other on the way back to the Merry Go. Her brow was damp but her complexion clear, and she seemed refreshed and sophisticatedly animated by what she had accomplished in the town—which had been to procure vessels to get back to the former Grand Line islands and Blues.
"Robin," Chopper blinked, childishly impressed.
"These are perfect! We'll get there in a quarter of the time!" Sanji exclaimed, taking the parchment in his hands. A look of admiration for the mature beauty before him flickered respectfully in his gaze.
"That's the plan." Robin smiled coolly.
Her expression faltered little, but she planted a pensive hand to her chin. "The only troubling inconvenience is the pace of which we would have to leave. I thought we could allow at least a few extra days, but the weather appears to have other plans in mind."
Sanji creased an eyebrow, biting down on the cigarette in his mouth. "What would that mean?"
"The master coaters here can manufacture vessels for us here, but these aren't exactly grade-A ships," Robin explained patiently, "even the best only have a sea-life of a few days. And with the weather front coming in, we have a small window of time to make it out before we get stranded."
Sanji looked down at Chopper who seemed to have the same perplexed expression as the cook himself wore. "We can't wait for the weather to pass can we?" Somehow, the cook already knew the answer once the question escaped his lips.
The validity of Kettle Town's famed meteorologists was only very reliably verified by Nami herself of course. Robin bought her hand down against her side. "We have a window of two days to leave before the weather hits. If we chose to wait, the last of the storm will be gone in five days."
"Five days?"
The archeologist nodded only slightly. A ghostly cool fell on her features, but her words reverberated with sharp gravity. "The vessels are ready for us. It's not a matter of preparation; it's the matter of if we have the guts to use them."
A grin spread over Sanji's face. If Robin herself wasn't taken aback, Sanji surprised himself with the laugh that escaped his lips.
"If that's the problem," he proclaimed, "I think Luffy will make sure we're alright."
"Yo." Zoro greeted awkwardly. He would have probably said something a little cooler or less ill at ease if he had been expecting to run into the orange-haired navigator when he stumbled into the galley of the Merry Go. But all he could do was stifle the muddled gaze on his expression with an upturned palm, rubbing his hair with as much nonchalance as he could muster.
"Hmm." Nami greeted in turn, her pen tip flipping upward only slightly at the sudden presence in the room. She was planted at the dining table, journals spread out around her, the very tiniest and miniscule details of their hard journey ahead emblazoned around her.
It was a little past evening and the galley had been retired for the night after dishes and plates put away. A quiet pot of tea simmered on the stove for Nami, put on by the ever-faithful blonde cook. Even Luffy and company had been banished from the kitchen, albeit not amongst hushed complaint. The light from the lone bulb overhead flickered with the steady rocking of the boat against the dock.
If he was discomfited with the silence, he certainly didn't show any signs of it. Then again, this was Zoro. And the swordsman seldom found anything too uncomfortable that couldn't be fixed with a healthy dose of food and napping. He made his way over into the kitchen fumbling for the fridge without a single word. Nami, who did not have the same social ignorance as the marimo, began to balk under the pressure.
Her eyes flickered upward and she picked at her thumb, with the ink pen still in her grip. Lifting her head upward, she strenuously coughed out casual words: "Don't you have watch tonight?"
Zoro barely spun around, only grunted in acknowledgment. "Luffy's too restless tonight. So we traded shifts."
The image of a rubber grenade bouncing off the walls sunk into Nami's mind without much effort. It wasn't a difficult likeness to imagine. She chuckled only slightly. Her focus zeroed in on a disgruntled swordsman picking at the fridge lock. A renewed cool returned to her voice, "We restocked just enough for two days. So unless you wanna starve, I'd knock it off." The woman smiled with closed eyes and returned to her papers.
Zoro grimaced, wondering how much effort he'd need to cut through the locks with his blade. But a more inquisitive question formed in his mind and he abandoned the fridge altogether to turn around and face Nami.
"Two days?"
"That's right," She affirmed, "two days."
He was dense, but the realization sunk in uncharacteristically fast. Zoro narrowed a questioning glare at her. "When are you leaving?"
She looked up and caught his wild eyes. Her expression was level and calm, but when she opened her mouth to speak, dryness riddled her throat. It wasn't nervousness that prevented her from speaking, but rather a bright, unwavering, and hot sadness. For it was the first time since the day unfolded that Nami realized she would be leaving the people she loved the most in the world for a journey of uncertainty alone. It wasn't a question of if they'd be reunited, however. She had too much faith for her captain to believe that it would be an impossibility. The sadness laid in the thought that when she woke up in two days, stretching with yawns and greetings for the new morning, her nakama would be in some distant dark earth instead.
Her pen dotted a final line on the parchment spread out before her. She smiled softly, lifting up the handiwork with evident pride in her eyes. "Done!"
"With what," Zoro griped impatiently.
Nami stood up from her seat and folded the parchment neatly and carefully with the sharp edge of her nail into squares. She then tucked it into a heavy leather-bound book that Zoro recognized as her weather and recording log. He only blinked in questioning.
"I've recorded all the weather patterns, our water routes, resources each of us will have, and the time frame of which we'll have for each of us to leave." Nami quipped and began to clean away the dining table, shuffling papers neatly together. "Also, logistics, tides, and other topography-related things that you couldn't possibly understand therefore I'll leave in Robin's possession." The woman said in a shrewdly teasing manner, letting that long sentence run together.
"Why are you leaving that," he gesticulated lamely at the papers, "with us?" You're our navigator, Zoro wanted to say. If anyone knows what the hell is going on, forget Luffy, you're in charge.
She smiled serenely, holding the big leather book in her arms. She didn't have to speak words for Zoro to catch the hidden meaning behind her large amber eyes.
"When," he began again with clenched teeth, "are you leaving?"
"Idiot." Nami declared loudly, catching Zoro off his feet. "You think I drew up all these and spent the whole night preparing because I think it's fun?" She gestured at the piles of papers and the books strewn about. "I'm in a hurry for a reason." The girl crossed her arms impatiently, waiting for the realization to dawn on the thick-headed swordsman.
"Tomorrow." It came quickly. "You're leaving, tomorrow."
The woman smiled shrewdly, not without a certain wily charm in her demeanor. She seemed relatively pleased with his quick reaction. "Well I guess you're not entirely brainless."
Zoro wanted to ask why, but he realized himself that he wouldn't be able to hear her answer. He wasn't a man of logic, but a man of intuition. The burning pit in his stomach didn't rationalize his indefinable unease but it only brought him a very small and illegible wave of panic. His eyes curved into slits and he took one angry step forward, crossing into the dim light of the galley.
"You can't go to East Blue alone." He asserted rather blatantly.
The calm on her face evaporated quickly into intelligible anger. "I don't need to prove that I'm a grown woman, who's capable of wiping her own ass—"
"Then what are you trying to prove?" Zoro interrupted, stalking toward her, with absolute certainty in his mind that he needed to make her see how stupid and selfish her proclamation was. "What? That you're strong and independent and you don't need any of us?" A hardened panic dripped from his words and hard-clenched jaw.
"The sea doesn't discriminate—it'll slit your throat, strong independent woman or not. All you're showing us is how reckless and stupid you're acting," the man barked at her, face narrowed into a sharp grimace.
But Nami wasn't interested in listening to words. She pivoted her body to face him, her arms draped over heavy books. There was a glimmer of something—maybe fright in her eyes, but she collected the poise into her stilted body. "Yea, I'm scared. But I have to protect East Blue. And I'll regret it if I hide behind someone else to do the hard work for me." Again, she wanted to add. All the times when she watched her nakama step forward and brave the danger, where was she? But maybe her thoughts narrowed in on this weakness because she realized something new these past few days. Would she be strong enough to be with the man she loves?
"Idiot." Zoro's low voice broke through her thoughts. It was his turn to call her stupid. "Let me come with you. Chopper and Usopp can handle themselves on Drum Island."
"Here," Nami responded, heaving the stack of brown books into Zoro's arms suddenly. He nearly stumbled in surprise, but managed to keep his balance and grip on the new weight. His head bobbed down and upwards to meet Nami's eye, expression curled into one of annoyance and agitation that seemed to be beckoning for a more appropriate response to his volunteering that he go to East Blue.
"These top few books are for Robin." Nami pointed at the top stack in Zoro's arms, in an almost scolding manner yet her countenance remained as light-hearted as usual. "The middle two are for Chopper, the next for Sanji-kun—it's all medicine and health related information I managed to get from Kettle Town. As for the last book, that one's yours. So take that one, okay?" Her tone was swift yet oddly accommodating in nature. So tranquil in nature that Zoro almost forgot that she ignored his very important request.
"Why are you leaving that with me?" He asked, eyebrow narrowed and grimacing as he studied the load of archaic titles in his arms. "Didn't you say I couldn't-possibly-understand-therefore-you'll-leave-all-of-this-in-Robin's-possession?" He mocked her tone earlier, though not a trace of humor existed in his solemn eyes. But when the swordsman looked up, he caught something deliberate in her face.
"That one," her lips curled upward, "you'll understand. Just make sure you deliver the rest to everyone else."
"I can't deliver them," he declared staunchly, "because I'm leaving with you."
She smacked him on the shoulder, "Idiot again. I don't need you there, there are plenty of people in East Blue who'll help me."
Zoro hardened his expression. "That may be true but—"
"But nothing." Nami said, taking two steps to reposition herself in front of him. She thumped her palms down on the top book in his grasp to level herself and stare at him with steadfast conviction. The indubitable expression on her face was an even more powerful tool than her fists to shut people up. "Just deliver my books, idiot."
He wouldn't argue with her. He wouldn't pick a fight or even use his monstrous strength to intimidate her to stay and wait. Wait a day, or two, at least until she had convinced herself that going alone was a stupid idea and that she needed someone to go with her. It didn't have to be him, Zoro decided. It could be anyone. Although it'd be better if it was him.
He tossed and turned the entire night, thoughts hindering his sleep. But he was too preoccupied to let rest grace his eyes. Instead, he affixed himself to waiting, and waiting, and waiting a little bit more. Until the first proof of dawn came and he took that chance to balk from his room and slip onto the deck. Of course, it was entirely too early to expect anyone else to be up. Except for maybe Sanji who would be dutifully in the galley preparing the beginnings of Nami's and Robin's meals. Zoro stood and waited, then crossed over onto a shaded part of the deck to sit. He wasn't sure what he was waiting for—or even if he had any excuses ready for Nami to make her stay. But at least there'd be the chance to intercept her, to do whatever reasoning he could. He thought this, nodded, then dozed off.
He had some kind of vague dream before he awoke to the distant thundering footsteps of Luffy, and someone else that must've been Usopp or Chopper, or both. He peeled his eyes open and adjusted the swords at his side, standing up to stretch out his legs. Following the noise, Zoro finally decided that it was the appropriate time to saunter into the galley. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he timed an opportune entrance…
"Late again, and you won't get your slop!" Sanji declared in morning greeting, frying pan still in hand behind the busy stove.
Maybe he didn't time his entrance too well, because from the scraps and emptied plates on the table, Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper still fighting for last grabs, and graceful Robin sipping her morning coffee, it appeared that breakfast was nearing an end. Zoro grimaced sourly, scratched his head, and eyes immediately danced around the room looking for the familiar red-head.
"Zoro," Luffy greeted, repressing a bubbly yell, "are you gonna eat? Can I have yours?" Usopp and Chopper's protests could be heard in the background. On a regular morning, Zoro would flatly reject, and proceed to bat away hungry hands. But today, he didn't pay heed to Luffy's usual gluttony and pushed him away instead.
"Where's Nami?" He asked, confused.
Everyone looked up and Zoro caught the equally-confused blinks of his captain before him. He swiveled his head to look at Luffy again, who wore wide and dubious eyes.
"Nami left," Usopp furrowed a brow.
This "timely" entrance was a little too laughable now. Zoro stiffened and clenched his teeth. "When? I was up since this morning—when did she—"
"She left last night!" Chopper quipped in, clutching onto Usopp's left overall. The long-nose nodded as well.
"It was a pretty damn rude send-off," Sanji spat with a "tsch." He flipped the frying pan to toss a finished omelet onto a plate behind him. But from the look in the cook's eye, he wasn't about to let Zoro eat his breakfast. "All of us were out there last night, save for one shitty swordsman. And Nami-san had to leave with an improper good-bye." The huff in his tone was palpable with anger as he brushed blonde bangs from his forehead.
Zoro clenched up, fists cuffed and body stiff. His throat was dry, but he rasped out surprisingly coherent words. "She told me—she was leaving today."
"Sanji's leaving today," Luffy said, pointing at his cook, sorting out Zoro's words. "But Nami left. Last night."
"It's fine, Luffy." Sanji quipped. "The moss on his head must've grown into his brain, because that was pretty shitty excuse."
The swordsman would've bit his tongue and snarled a sharp retort in response. But he didn't even hear the animated exclaims or the cook's further heckling, because he had already turned around and stalked out of the galley.
"Dumbass woman!" Zoro hollered, slamming the cabin door shut. He stalked instead, big boots planting one angry step after the next over the hard planked floor. She was a liar—a thoughtless and stupid thief lying woman who's going to get herself killed in East Blue alone. It was a dumb idea to let her ruminate on the idea—he should've just stopped her last night and made her accept his decision. She's wily—Zoro should've realized that.
His angry footsteps crashed into something tall and hard on the floor and Zoro stumbled forward, losing his balance, but caught himself and braced an elbow against the bench in front of him. He grimaced in annoyance but wheeled his head around to address the aggravating offender.
It was the familiar stack of the leather books Nami had shoveled onto him last night. Zoro blinked, wiping half his irritation away, and stood up with a low grunt. He bent down to pick up the lone book which had been knocked away from its pile and flung it thoughtlessly back on top. Sitting down on the bench, he leaned back and placed two hands on top of his green head, in thought.
It was a tiring, miserable, and soul-drenching thing to pretend.
He stopped pretending that he didn't care—stopped pretending that maybe, deep down, in some dark crevasse in his heart, he hid an ounce—maybe even less of a spark of feeling for Nami. It was remote and indistinguishable and certainly not enough to return her feelings with—but it was there, and Zoro acknowledged its existence. His hands returned to his sides as he sat limply, leaning against the wooden wall.
When they came together, it was out of a silent mutual understanding that there would always be someone more important, someone more loved for the both of them. For Zoro, it was Kuina, who was the constant and undying reminder of an unfulfilled promise. For Nami, it was Bellemare, and Nojiko, and Gen-san… because it's only because of them that she grasped her dream and sought out to seek it.
Both knew, in their hearts, there probably would not be enough room for much else. For anyone else, much less on a private and complex level. But for one of them, it changed, and for one of them, a heart was opened a little more. Maybe Nami could untie some of the chains over her heart and let someone new in—for she did this with Zoro, who actually might've slipped in without her notice. But the presences of Bellemare, of Nojiko, and of Gen-san faded a little each day and Zoro's grew a little brighter. Nami wasn't sure if this was love, but it had to be something more than nothing.
Perhaps he's too simpleminded, Zoro is. The starkness of Kuina does not recede, the black of her eyes don't waver in his mind. He is possessed by her image because it's the image that drives him forward. To let it fade a little bit, and let someone else's image grow a little brighter like Nami did, well, Zoro wasn't sure if he could do that.
Why is it that different for both? They started the same way, with the same fire and drive in their dreams. For Zoro, maybe he still finds guilt in Kuina's unabsolved death. He hadn't honored their promise yet—not even close, he thinks grimly when he pictures the ill-fated match up back on the Baratie. But Nami has gained understanding from the death of her mother already. Her village is free, and she is free to finally live and dream. And her aspiration isn't as concrete or deadly as his—because to achieve her goals, all she would have to do would be to meander the world with her captain and fill in the blanks. Literally, on her maps.
So maybe her heart is opened in this way, already opened a little more to let new people and new loves come in. She is timid, but that hasn't made her stop. But there is something inside of her driving her forward to slowly open herself up a little more and more each day. It must've been Luffy.
He freed her, he gave her back her dreams. And he is the small reminder for her to live in the past a little less and be amongst her nakama in the present. His faith in all of his friends—Zoro should understand it the most. And suddenly, he did.
Luffy is not discriminating. He gave himself away, surely and completely. The faith and hope he opened up for Nami was the same he showed to Zoro that day at the marine's base. If someone else could open their heart and let people in, what was preventing this swordsman from doing the same…?
Zoro springs up suddenly, his hands almost lunging for the pile of leather books on the floor. Robin's… Chopper's and Sanji's… he rips through the stack, tossing heavy ones aside. At last he gets to the last one and he wretches it forward, ears ringing and throat dry, his calloused hands nearly strangling the spine of the bound papers.
That one you'll understand, Nami had said.
He opens the cover and flips through the pages, but is disappointed to see whiteness and nothing but more blank lined pages, unfilled with anything. He narrows his eyes and an annoyed grimace spreads like liquid over his irascible features. Was she playing with him again? Lying about leaving and then lying about what he was supposed to understand? His fingers grip the spine of the book after flipping through it once, and with a sudden and flashing split second moment of anger, he flung the thing onto the ground, the sound of papers resounding harshly against the wood.
He is too angry—too irritated and confused to think or listen to his own thoughts. He is nearly frustrated enough to not spot the neat white envelope that slipped from underneath the binding onto the floor. Only nearly though, and he blinks, staring at the newly discovered article. It is teasing, in its whiteness. Zoro pauses, but picks it up a second later and he tears it open without thoughtful hesitation. He thirsts to understand and his fingers dance to open the folded up piece of paper, wondering if this was what he saw Nami write on last night.
He waits none and dives straight into its contents.
Zoro,
I've gone to East Blue. Sorry that I didn't tell you, but I couldn't. I wonder if you're angry at me, and if you are, please let me explain. Not about just leaving, but about everything.
I'm scared about going to East Blue alone. But I'm more scared about being weak and although Luffy wanted you to come with me—I think that makes me even more frightened. Because even though you'd be with me, in East Blue, our hearts won't even be a centimeter closer.
Zoro paused, confused at the implications behind her words. But his eyes read on.
I don't want to lose the thought of you, or the way I feel now. It's painful and it sucks, but I don't ever want to lose that feeling. Because it's not something bad that's made me feel this way. I realize now, that it's something good. But if you came with me To East Blue, well… I think I'll start forgetting that these feelings are supposed to be good things. It's not your fault- that's just how you feel and I can't help that you don't reciprocate my feelings. But to say that you're the reason I'm losing faith in love, well that's not fair either. I don't want to associate you with something bad. I hope you'll understand why I need to be away from you for awhile, even if just a little while. It's completely selfish, yup. But maybe you'll understand my reason.
He stopped, the last few words of the letter hanging in suspense in her peripheral. He gazed down…
I tried not to, I tried to change what I feel. But realizing it and accepting it—that has given me new strength. And with this new strength, I'm going to give it my all in East Blue. No holding back. It's thanks to you. Maybe with some time, I'll begin to feel love and see something good again. Maybe I'll still think of you, but I'm not sure what the future holds either.
Now, even now. I love you, you idiot. I won't deny it ever again until my feelings change.
She didn't sign her name but she dated the letter with familiar curly script. Zoro clenched the paper, letting the black letters rumple in his palms. He stood with renewed force and new eyes beset his calm features.
Confusing… that letter was confusing as hell. If Nami were here now, he'd surely yell at her for writing such a tediously useless thing. Just say it to my face, he thought. And explain it, because I won't understand all the twists and intricacies of what you're thinking. But there's one thing I guess I get now. I'm not sure if it's because of you, your letter, or Luffy.
But I know it's okay to let people in now.
Zoro paused, discovering just then he'd been talking to himself in his thoughts. And suddenly, something more mysterious happened.
A smile curled onto his face. He folded the letter back up and tucked it neatly into the pocket of his pants. With fingers placed back on their comfortable position over the hilt of his swords, he tossed his head back to look at the ceiling. And for the first time, in a long time, he let himself fall into the dark unknown. There is no turning back now.
"Nami-chan thought he would forget," Robin mused thoughtfully as her long strides took her to the front of the shut cabin door. Chopper walked beside her, though he struggled a little to keep up with her pace, curse those long legs of hers.
"I haven't seen him all morning," the reindeer offered with a resigned sigh, "but I'm sure we can fetch the books by ourselves anyways. Although I'm worried about why he was so angry today." The look of betrayal, astonishment, and equally intense irritation on Zoro's face flashed its image into Chopper's mind again. He almost shivered but he curled his hooves over the crooked doorknob, and the door clicked and opened.
"Zoro?" Chopper asked, poking his nose around. They stepped in quietly and observantly.
"It looks like he's gone." Robin said, her eyes gazing around the room. Her blue orbs settled on the pile of leather bound books in a stack on the floor and she smiled. So the swordsman did forget after all. Thankfully Nami had carefully told the rest of the crew last night before she left, to retrieve the books from the cabin. It would be oh-so-uncharacteristic if he did remember, Nami had harked bitterly.
Robin stepped forward, grabbing the pile into her arms. "These are yours," she deposited a few black books into Chopper's eager grasp. The rest must be weather and logistics-related recordings. The tall dark-haired woman flipped through the first few pages of hers and smiled, impressed by the meticulousness of the observations. She turned to Chopper again and held out the rest. "These must be for Cook-san. Please take these to him."
But the last book that remained unexamined yet caused Robin to wonder. The navigator had explicitly mentioned which ones went to who last night, but not this seventh bound hardback. The cool woman's elegant fingers brushed the cover and she gingerly tapped the spine before opening the book up to its first page, wondering who its owner was meant to be.
In familiarly broad black letters, etched a message from the ship's swordsman on otherwise blank lined paper.
I'm going to East Blue.
And it's implications were clear as crystal.
End Chapter.
A/N: Sorry for the long update, I hope the rest will come more easily. This chapter was rewritten a gloriously awful three times. It took clippings and samples from each draft to complete this one, and I'm not entirely satisfied. Thoughts are appreciated, thank you guys.
