Detention: Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black; second years
For: Creating an ungodly commotion at two in the morning
Assignment: Writing a paper on how to keep themselves out of detention
How to Keep an unliked Slytherin out of Detention
Snape
Find out the reason said Slytherin is in detention; nine times out of ten it is not their fault. Slytherins only try to get into trouble if there's a reason worth getting into trouble for in the first place.
Lock said Slytherin in a room. That will keep him out of your hair for a while.
Turn House-mates against said Slytherin…no, wait, that would get him into more trouble.
Keep Gryffindorks away from said Slytherin. They tend to start it.
Cut a deal with said Slytherin.
Take away ten zillion points when said Slytherin gets into trouble.
Send said Slytherin to Durmstrang. Problem solved for Hogwarts.
Put said Slytherin into a different House. That would be one less 'Slytherin' in detention.
The Eighty-Seventh Pagein what will be an Experienced and Well-Researched Book of Spells, People, Places, Events, Potions, Hexes, Apologetic Poetry, and Various Lines: How to Keep Sirius Orion Black Out of Detention
Author: The subject of the paper
Just stop giving him detention. Problem solved.
How to keep me out of Detention
By Remus Lupin
Put me in a library and tell me to keep myself busy.
Make sure it's a full moon.
Have all other Marauders in the Hospital Wing.
Make me P. O. ed at the other Marauders
Make the Marauders P. O. ed at me (actually, that won't help. Never mind)
Lock me in a room.
Give me lots of chocolate
Lace my chocolate with sleep potion
Threaten me with suspension, expulsion, or just a bad grade.
I'm BAAAAAACCCKKK! Sorry for the wait, I was in Kansas with no computer and two grumpy bats plus one for roommates.
