Chapter 9

Lexa meant to stay home, she meant to stay in bed but after changing into some more comfortable clothes she found herself on a slightly drunken walk. Clarke's words played over and over again in her head. The hurt in her eyes bore into her soul and she couldn't erase the image. Without realizing it until she heard the creak of the wood she looked down the dock at one of her family's boat. The sailboat was always her favourite. There was something serene about it, like it didn't matter how long it took to get somewhere because the fun was in getting there.

As she got to the end of the dock where the boat was tied she noticed movement on the boat across from hers. "Come all the way down here to continue to fight? Seems like a hassle."

Lexa is shocked by the voice coming from the other boat. She silently scolds herself, she figured Clarke had gone to the beach not the boat. "What are you doing here? You usually go to the beach." Yep, she's still drunk.

"I've had enough of the beach for a few days. So you actually didn't know I was here?"

"I didn't. I'll leave you to it." They weren't being nice, their words were direct and to the point but not nice.

"It's what your best at." Yep, Clarke was still drunk too.

"I'm not the one that moved across the country."

"Yeah well I'm not the one who cheated on the other and took off to explore Europe. I'm also not the one who purposed to said other person, with the ring I was going to give someone else."

That was it. Lexa snapped. "I saw you with him in the restaurant. Everyone said that maybe, just maybe I was missing something and I stood up for you. Then I come to propose to you and you're kissing another guy. How the hell did you even know what I was going to do anyways and how would you know where I went afterwards and why would you care?"

Thus far she was arguing with shadows but she slowly saw Clarke's figure start to appear. From the light of the dock she can see that the other woman had clearly been crying. "You should have trusted me, you should have talked to me and you didn't. You were looking for an excuse to leave because things got hard and you've never hard things be hard. Oh and I knew because the stupid guy called Octavia while she was in the shower and I answered for her. He said that the ring was in and waiting to be picked up and that it was a great choice. He also said that she should tell you that it was a pleasure helping the both of you and that he wanted Octavia to tell you to bring me in after you did it." The tears started to well up in her eyes and she couldn't control them from falling.

Lexa was still mad, she was still furious but seeing Clarke this upset was never something that was easy for her. "I would never give anyone else that ring, that ring was yours and now it's the oceans. I meant what I said, I don't want to fight with you and we're both drunk still. You're clearly happy with him and I'm happy too so let's leave it at that. Goodnight Clarke." She wanted to go home, she wanted to crawl into her bed and sleep but she was just too tired so she moved the five steps across the dock and got onto the boat. From beneath the deck she watched as Clarke turned around and moved back into the shadows. She wanted to hash everything out but it hurt too badly and she had done everything in her power in the last four years to get the hurt to stop.

XOXO

USC – Junior Year

"I came home because you keep saying how we haven't spent much time together lately. Then to my surprise you aren't here when I get home because Wells was in town visiting. Who just so happens to be your high school sweet heart."

"Yeah because I thought you were going to be in class and the library all night. Like you told me you were going to be. Had I known you were going to be here I would have stayed in and made dinner because I do miss you." Clarke's voice quivered, she was tired, Lexa could tell. Usually Clarke put up a good fight but she clearly didn't have it in her right now but Lexa was still mad and when she was mad she was extra stubborn.

"Well you haven't exactly talked to me today so how the hell would you know?"

Clarke shook her head. "Lexa if you're so unhappy then just leave. There's the door, I don't have it in me to fight with you right now."

"Fine." Lexa grabbed her back and walked out their apartment door, slamming it behind her.

A few hours later Lexa opened their apartment door and set her bag down closing the door quietly behind herself. Taking a deep breath she checked the kitchen and then the living room. All the lights were off and it looked like Clarke hadn't been in either area for hours. Going into their shared bedroom, the lights were all off and to Lexa's dismay Clarke wasn't in bed. She rubbed her neck and thought about where the other woman may have gone.

Making her way up to the roof of their apartment, she smiled slightly as she saw blonde hair up in a messy bun. Clarke was sitting on one of the lawn chairs, knees to her chest, blanket wrapped around her. She clearly hadn't heard the door open because she didn't even flinch so Lexa made her way back downstairs only to reemerge minutes later.

When she opened the door again, she pulled out her phone and took a picture of her girlfriend. Something about how the moonlight was hitting her made it the perfect picture, even though it was clear she was upset. Putting her phone back into her apartment she silently walked over and sat down next to her girlfriend.

"I was wondering if you were going to say anything." Clarke mumbled from the depths of the blanket she was clutching around herself.

"I went to get you something." She was used to Clarke knowing when she was near, but it never ceased to amaze her. "I made you this." Lexa sat almost perfectly still on the edge of the chair as her arm reached out to hold the mug of tea in front of Clarke.

It took a second before little hands snuck out from under the blanket and took hold of the mug with two hands. "You came home."

"Were you worried I wouldn't?" Clarke nodded briefly as she held the mug up to her lips. Leaning forward Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist and placed a gentle, barely there, kiss on the back of her neck.

"I will always come back to you Clarke Elizabeth Griffin. Besides we can't go to bed angry, it's in the rule book."

Clarke relaxed a little and leaned back into her the warmth of her girlfriend. "I'm sorry too. I love you." She spoke softly as she leaned her head back on Lexa's shoulder to look up at her.

"I'm more than sorry my love."

XOXO

Lexa tossed and turned for at least an hour but it was clear sleep was not going to be her friend tonight. Fighting with Clarke was eating at her, even though she knew it shouldn't be. She should be at home with her fiancé. But she wasn't. She was far from it. Her mind was only on the woman no more than fifteen feet from. With the alcohol still in her blood to give her an extra boost of courage, she flung the covers off herself and stood up. Her hair was a mild mess but in this moment she didn't care how she looked.

When she got outside she noticed the lack of shadow on the boat opposite her own. "Clarke Griffin get out here, please." She added for good measure. "I know you're still in there, these boats are not at all sound proof."

A moment later, Clarke emerged from below deck. Rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands. "Can't a girl get some damn sleep?" She let out a yawn and then shook her head. "What do you want Lexa?" Her voice was raspy, Lexa loved her voice when she had just woken up.

"We can't go to bed angry. I can't go to bed angry."

Clarke rolled her eyes. She was clearly too tired and too drunk to give a damn about hiding her emotions and being friendly. "We've gone to bed angry for the past four years, let's not ruin a good thing. If that's all I'm going back to bed." And with that she turned around and started to make her way back inside. "I am angry Lexa, I know I shouldn't be but I'm still angry and it's great that you aren't, that you got over it all. Really, I'm happy that you've found the person to spend your life with but that doesn't mean I'm not still angry." She didn't turn around as she spoke, she didn't want Lexa to see how much the words hurt. "Goodnight Lexa." With that she went back inside, it took a minute longer but after the words finally sunk in Lexa went back to bed. Her heart was heavy; this was never how she wanted her life to turn out.

XOXO

Two weeks later Lexa found herself sitting at dinner with her best friend after a long day at work. "Let's rewind, how did you go from thinking you might propose to actually proposing?"

Lexa took another sip of her red wine. "She found the ring." Anya's face went wide-eyed and she could see the daggers about to be thrown in her direction. "No, god no, not that ring. Why does everyone think it was that ring? I would never. That wouldn't be fair to Clarke, or to Costia."

Anya let herself breathe again. "You are so lucky because I would have killed you and I would have let Octavia and Raven help."

"You three hang out far too much."

"Sorry that our best friends are too busy for us. 'I'm at the hospital. I'm at the office.'" Anya rolled her eyes as she mocked her best friends.

"I don't sound like that and I'm pretty sure Clarke doesn't either."

"Except you do." Anya said taking another bite of her salmon. "So because she found the ring you decided to just go for it?"

Lexa shook her head. "It just happened, she was sitting there all upset and I went with it. I really did not intend for you all to find out that way, I didn't intend for Clarke to find out that way."

"Then you went and told her she was the most beautiful girl in the room. You're such an asshole." Anya laughed as she watched Lexa drink her wine.

"It just came out. I was drunk, and I'm sorry that I'm human. I mean have you seen her legs. I'm engaged not blind. We both know physical attraction was never our problem, except now she looks at me like she wants to kill. I'm actually surprised she didn't when she was stitching up my leg."

Anya shook her head. "She loves your parents too much to do that plus you told her you didn't want to go to bed angry." Anya laughed once again as Lexa looked down at her plate.

"She told you that?"

"Raven did, Octavia told her so I'm guessing Clarke told Octavia or maybe Bellamy did. I don't know who Clarke told to be honest."

"Bellamy is in town, Octavia's brother?" Lexa asked as she picked up her wine glass and finished the last of the glass.

Anya nodded. "You know who he is?"

"Of course I know who he is. Octavia talked about him all the time, but I never met him. He's in the National Guard, seemed like a nice enough guy though from what Clarke said."

Anya kept shaking her head. "You are the worlds biggest idiot."

"You keep saying that but I don't understand why."

"I'm sure you'll find out soon enough and I am going to stand by laughing when you do."

Lexa raised an eyebrow. "Or you could be a good best friend and just tell me."

Anya shook her head. "No can do. Not my place and this is something you need to find out on your own but yes Bellamy has been in town visiting. He's quite the looker, if Gus wasn't around I totally would have gotten on that."

Lexa rolled her eyes as she finished eating her dinner, her best friend was a real piece of work.

XOXO

"Clarke, you have to come, you don't work until later tonight." Abby shook her head at her daughter who was currently sitting in the living room, cross legged on the couch, a bowl of popcorn in her lap, hair a mess.

"I don't think it's appropriate that I show up to my ex-girlfriends moms birthday party."

"No but it is appropriate for you to show up to a family friends birthday party, and one of your mothers closest friends. You two go shopping all the time, she even sleeps at your apartment when she's in New York."

Clarke leaned her head back against the couch. "Only twice and only because we had girls night in."

"Get up, get dressed and let's go! I want to see if these Laguna parties are all you made them out to be." Octavia walked into the room in her black romper and took the popcorn bowl off Clarke's lap. "Now! Move it!"

Clarke crossed her arms without budging from her spot on the couch. "Does that mean I got dressed up for nothing princess? Here I thought I was being nice and accompanying you so you didn't have to face your ex alone only to get stood up." Clarke over at the doorway to see Bellamy dressed in a pair of slacks and a purple dress shirt. His hair was actually styled and not the usual curly mess.

"Sorry to disappoint." Clarke shrugged as she went back to watching the television. "Callie and Arizona are about to go on their first date so if you don't mind, goodbye and have fun."

Abby, Octavia and Bellamy all looked at each other. They were certain that Clarke would have relented by now. Octavia watched a smile grew on Abby's face, she knew that smile it was the one Clarke made whenever she was about to win an argument. "Get up, get dressed, and meet me at the Callaway's or I'm not letting you near an operating room for a week."

Clarke's head turned so fast that Octavia thought it was going to snap off. "You can't do that! That's my education, I need all the O.R. hours I can get."

"I can and I will. See you all soon." Abby grinned as she grabbed her clutch and headed out the front door.

"That was such a bitch move." Clarke grumbled as she pulled herself up off the couch. "Text Raven and make sure spawn of Satan and Satan's fiancé aren't there."

"I take it she's still mad." Bellamy said as he took the popcorn from Octavia and sat down on the couch.

Octavia nodded and sat down next to her brother. "Pissed, especially about the whole 'we can't go to bed angry line'.

"Laguna is a soap opera after all, just like we always teased her about." He laughed as he tossed a piece of popcorn into his mouth as his sister nodded in agreement.

An hour later Clarke finally made her way back into the living room. "Thank god, can we party now?" Octavia asked as she stood up and finished zipping up Clarke's dress.

"Are you trying to make a statement? Because if you are, this dress is the right one. I didn't know you went back and bought it." Octavia noted as Clarke sat down to put her black heels on.

"If you weren't my sister, I'd agree." Bellamy said as she stood up and set the popcorn bowl on the table.

"I did, I figured I deserved it." Clarke said of the silver dress that she was currently wearing. It sat at a perfect height on her thighs, revealing enough leg to make you wonder but not so much that her ass was hanging out. "I wear my pain like stilettos so let's go because these stiletto's already hurt."

"I like Laguna Clarke, she wears more than scrubs and leggings." Octavia grinned as she earned a smack on the arm from her best friend.

"I told you, I clean up well now let's go before I lose out on cutting people open."

Bellamy gave her an alarmed looked. "You mean saving people."

"Yeah that, let's go. I already called the cab."

"It's a five minute walk?" The Blake siblings both said in unison.

"It's a ten minute walk and I'm not walking that far in these. Now move it before I change my mind."

The siblings looked at each other as Clarke made her way out of the house. "Raven says she hasn't spotted Lex Luther yet so she's safe."

"She's safe?" Clarke asked as they made their way into the cab.

Octavia nodded. "We're both very good with guns." She pointed between herself and her brother.

XOXO

"Fucking eh. No wonder you had parties here in high school, this place is massive." Octavia's eyes were wide as they walked into the Callaway home.

"You get used to it after awhile, doesn't seem that big anymore." Clarke answered dryly as she felt Bellamy put an assuring hand on her back. They moved into the house and Clarke instantly looked around to make sure that Raven hadn't been lying to her about Lexa being there yet.

"She's not here yet, she got stuck in traffic so you can breathe." Anya smiled as she gave Clarke a hug.

"Thanks, you look good." She winked at her friend as they linked arms and made their way into the kitchen, leaving Bellamy and Octavia alone to wander around the house.

"I should really find Elizabeth and give her my wishes before it's too late and I have to leave."

Anya nodded. "You work tonight right?"

"I do. Night shifts are always fun." There wasn't a single hint of sarcasm in her tone.

"I'll make sure to shoot someone for you then."

They both laughed as they made their way through the kitchen and into the backyard where most of the guests were. She smiled at her mother who she saw talking to a few people. She gave her an approving nod before she focused her attention back on the people she was speaking with.

"There you are. I got you this." Gustus smiled as he walked up and placed a kiss on Anya's temple. "Hi Clarke."

"Gus Gus." She smiled back at him as she gave him a hug. He squeezed her and picked her up off the ground like he always.

"I didn't know you were here or I would have gotten you something too."

She raised a hand and smiled. "Clarke works tonight so she has to be sober for all of this."

He grimaced. "Ouch, that's rough."

"Tell me about it but I'm going to go and say hi to the guest of honour." She took a deep breath as she moved away from her friends and made her way towards the birthday girl.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, I came to say hello." Clarke apologized as she had interrupted a conversation.

"Clarke! You are home! You're mother had said so but I told her I wouldn't believe it until I saw you." Before anyone knew what had happened Clarke was being brought into a tight hug. "I'm so glad you could make it. I miss you." The woman said as she held Clarke at arms length and look her over. "That dress is gorgeous, you get more and more beautiful every time I see you."

"Thank you Mrs. Callaway and happy birthday. I wouldn't have missed it."

The woman gave her a look and pulled her in for another hug. "Sorry mom." Clarke corrected herself without realizing that Costia was standing behind her.

"That's more like it. Jeffrey! Jeffrey, come here." She called for her husband as she turned around and excused himself from the guests he was talking to. "Squirt." He grinned as he wrapped Clarke up into a hug of his own.

"Hi, Jeff," he squeezed her a little tighter. "Hi, pops." She corrected herself as he let her go. "You're mom threatened to take away your surgeries didn't she?" He asked with a knowing smirk.

Clarke looked between her ex's parents. "I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about."

They both smiled at her knowingly as they started to ask her questions about work, and if she was seeing anymore. "We are so proud of you, and everything you've accomplished." Elizabeth gushed and that was all it took for Costia to walk away. She had been standing there for what felt like forever to speak with Elizabeth but it was clear they weren't going to notice anyone else anytime soon.

"Thank you, that means so much to me. Octavia and Bellamy are here as well but I left them in awe of the house so I'm sure they'll come and say hello shortly."

"Oh good, I'm sure Octavia is happy to have him around for a little bit."

Clarke nodded. "She is. It's nice having him around, even though he drives us both crazy." They all laughed, Clarke had told them a lot about Bellamy and how he had turned into an older brother to her. They had told her that they were glad she had someone else to look out for her and that it was something her father would have wanted.

"I can't wait to finally meet him." Elizabeth smiled as she was handed another glass of champagne.

xoxo

Back inside Lexa finally emerged from her bedroom after having just changed. Traffic had been far crazier than she had expected it to be and she knew if she were any later her parents would skin her. So she rushed out of her room and downstairs as she tried to put her heels on. From her place on the step she could see Clarke outside talking to her parents and she willed herself too look away from the blonde and focus on walking but it was too late. She bumped right into someone's back. "I am so sorry." She began to apologize as he began to turn around.

He smiled and helped steady her. "It's not problem." She looked up at his features and pulled her arm away from his touch rougher than she had meant to.

"Lexa, you look great." Octavia smiled as she stepped out from behind the man. "Have you met my brother yet?"

"Bellamy. Nice to finally meet you." He grinned as he extended his hand. "You have a very lovely home." Lexa was frozen in place. Had Octavia just said her brother and did he just say his name was Bellamy. Her heart stopped, time felt like it was standing still and she wasn't sure she was still breathing. She shook her head and rubbed her temple. He was definitely the man from the restaurant and the one she had seen Clarke. "She has a rule."

"What?"

Shit. She hadn't meant to say that out loud. "I'm sorry. My head's a little all over the place. Thank you and Lexa. It's nice to finally meet you Bellamy. Sorry, I need to go and check in with my mother. Please make yourselves at home."

TBC…