8. The reveal
The reddish dawn of the new morning broke through the clouds, colouring the landscape in warm, natural colours. Though the rain had ceased, puddles of all sizes lay scattered across the little valley the hut was built in, and it was a little colder than it was the day before. Sleepy little birds shook the dew out of their feathers before flying off.
It seemed like a perfect day to go outside, marvel at the beauty of nature, and look around for any potential evildoers.
And Timber knew this. He was the last to sleep and the first to rise. Much like all the other days before this, ever so concerned about his responsibilities. As he shuffled through the cosy little hut, he scratched the back of his head and rubbed his eyes.
If only his parents would help him out again. The time when it was just Tiger Island, and not Timber's Island, seemed so long ago. And then all this nonsense about friends getting kidnapped and his girlfriend growing distant from him. It bothered him. It bothered him so much that he felt downright angry.
Sure, he wasn't prime boyfriend material. But he was sure about it; Pipsy should've felt lucky that she even managed to get someone like him – someone with a role as important as his. She was a sweet little girl, but terribly naïve and always with her head in the clouds. She'd never find someone who would take care of her in the way she wanted them to do. Like Krunch. Krunch was awfully protective over her, and she seemed to like that, but he was reluctant in letting her go and felt less and less happy about Timber being around her. Or anyone, for that matter.
Timber didn't like it at all.
As if it wasn't bad enough that I would never be as dependable as Diddy was. If that monkey were here at all, they'd have already found Taj, and Tooty wouldn't even be kidnapped to begin with. The island would probably be as perfect and beautiful as it was all those years ago, without someone messing things up. There'd still be the lack of funds and upkeep, but it'd be better.
Someone? He had no idea where he got that thought. Until Tooty was kidnapped, Timber didn't imagine that everything could be the cause of one person's doing. It seemed like the island had merely fallen into disrepair once Taj left. But why did he leave? Did something or someone scare him off?
Before he got the chance to think about it any further, Bumper stumbled into the room. He swerved off into the kitchen without saying hello, where he quickly dug in whatever was left of a pack of stale breakfast cereal. Once he was done with that, the badger rocketed out of the room in an energetic flurry of monochrome fur, still without taking the time to say hi to Timber.
This was his cue that everyone must've woken up by now – because honestly, with all the ruckus Bumper makes once he wakes up, it's impossible to stay asleep for even the heaviest sleeper.
And if they weren't already, the thing that would soon follow would certainly help a lot.
The next one to come out of his room was Drumstick, who seemed unusually chipper for someone that didn't look like he got enough sleep. The rooster then went outside, scrambled up to the roof of the hut where he perched upon the tallest pole, and started crowing into the upcoming sun. Old habits die hard.
After him arrived Banjo, who seemed a bit less sullen than the day before – he was the only one so far to say good morning to Timber – with Kazooie stoically hidden in his backpack. The line was closed by Krunch, who still appeared to be half asleep and wouldn't open his eyes, walking with the sluggish gait of a zombie and his heavy tail dragging behind. It appeared as if he was angry at Timber – but that could've just been his perpetual frown.
"Good morning to you too," Timber said snidely to the sleepy bunch, placing a hand under his chin and looking at them with contempt.
He couldn't notice Junior among the group, but his mind wandered elsewhere. Where was Pipsy? More importantly, where was Conker, that little rat?
"You folks get yourself freshened up, make some breakfast. I'm off to check somethin' real quick."
As he said this, he stepped over to Pipsy's room. And was he in for a surprise.
Conker and Pipsy were sharing the same bed, completely naked. Obviously, as soon as Timber swung open the door, he got the wrong idea the moment he saw them there. His contempt grew once he saw that Conker did prep a perfectly good bed for himself on the floor already – so there was no real practical reason for him to do this. The scene filled the tiger with anger and jealousy, and he was trying his best not to blow his stack.
His commanding voice cut through the quiet air. "Can either of you explain this to me…?"
It chimed through in his voice that he was not amused by this in the least.
The sight of his girlfriend in the arms of his former rival was sickening. And the worst part was that she seemed to enjoy it. As soon as he spoke up, though, they began blinking into the sparse sunlight that filtered through the window.
"G'mornin', you big ol' pussy…" Conker gibbered. He clenched his eyes shut again to shield his sensitive eyes against the light. But still, he was smiling. It was a satisfied smirk, a smirk that silently told everyone that he was the king of the world. He rolled over to his back, one hand behind his head. The covers had drawn back. Conker's fuzzy naked chest and midriff were exposed and his usually so twitchy tail lay as limply on the bed as he did himself.
Pipsy, on the other hand, seemed a bit distraught, partially from Conker's comment, and partially because it definitely seemed suspicious. She looked from left to right, pulling the sheets over her chest and smiling nervously, with her ears folded backwards. "Er… Timber, it's… not what it looks like."
Timber just stared at the two. Cold and hard. Slowly, he left the room's entrance and went back to the main room, leaving the door open on purpose.
Pipsy threw the covers off and looked at Conker with an annoyed frown that seemed to ask 'what have you done?'
She crossed her arms, glaring at him.
"Whaaat?" Conker muttered, scratching behind his ears, and still having his eyes closed. "You said ya wanted to break up with him. And't wasn't… my idea."
"Don't you act all innocent. It's… it's as much your fault as it is mine." Pipsy said sternly as she sat upright at the bed's edge and shivered, rubbing her bare arms. She hadn't expected that moving away from Conker's warmth would have such an impact right away. Moving away from his soft, warm, fluffy chest… felt like sleeping with a squirrel-coloured cloud…
Though she tried her best to not show it.
But then… she couldn't really blame Conker. Pipsy made up a little lie of being cold so he would get closer to her, and he just wanted to keep her warm. And that he did. Even if he did go a little bit further than she expected him to. She ended up enjoying it so much that she let him stay in his bed. While she wanted to get up, quickly change into her clothes and leave the room in a huff, something in her conscience told her not to.
To her, Conker was kind. He was sweet, caring, and kind, all the while still being himself. He probably could be romantic, too. In short, he was everything Timber wasn't. Even though he seemed a little rough around the edges, and his fur looked like it wasn't brushed properly for days, there was something inherently cute about him. That twitchy nose and those eager, big blue eyes…
And then he proceeded to soil that romantic view she had of him by yawning and scratching his groin. Pipsy winced unnoticeably as she quickly changed into her clothes and disappeared into the main room, leaving Conker on his own, to wake up at his own pace. The lady mouse took her diary with her as she did. Maybe, she thought, maybe I just need some time to figure this all out…
Banjo was all too eager to get outside and get going. But unlike Bumper – and Drumstick who went after his best friend as soon as he was done crowing – he stayed around to wake up quietly. He was casually eating his cereal with a few too many tablespoons of honey, like he did every morning. His sister had already been kidnapped once before, and goodness knew what had happened this time. Though he didn't really show it, he was worried sick. Just like he was the first time. Tooty was old enough to take care of herself, but she was a bit of a ditz. Not like Banjo was the brightest bulb in the box, but he felt that if he left her alone for one minute, she'd end up getting kidnapped by someone again.
Deep in thought and playing around with his spoon rather than actually eating, Banjo couldn't bring up the energy to scold Kazooie, who was pecking at his bowl sneakily. His mind was at how in the world he was supposed to find out wherever his sister was at.
"Guh, Timber," he said as he turned his head around to look at the tiger – and clawed at Kazooie for attempting to pilfer his breakfast – "Is it alright with ya if we go an' fly around in th'… th' cliffy area of the forest today?"
"Knock yourself out," the tiger replied. He was writing down things in his little corner again. "I'm sending Drumstick and Bumper to check out Walrus Cove today as soon as they come back, and Krunch's gonna look on the beach with Junior. Maybe you'd take Conker with ya for a while. I don't trust that shifty little guy."
"Sounds good to me," Banjo muttered, but he wasn't really listening. Timber's everyday routine of sending everyone to look in different areas each day bored him greatly and he just wished he could go wherever he wanted to go without worrying about responsibilities – he'd eventually stumble across clues, mostly accidentally, by trying out new things. Marching along to the tune of his own, uh, banjo, worked wonders, as it did all those years ago. He just wished that grumpy tiger would understand.
When the bear turned his focus to his cereal bowl again, all he could see was some crumbs floating in lukewarm milk.
"Kazooie!"
Conker had forgotten what happened. And as much as he tried to recall whatever happened that night, he had nothing. All he remembered was kissing. Kissing, and a lot of it. Pipsy snuggled up to his chest, commenting about his apparent fluffiness and something about conkers, and he didn't remember anything after that. As if it was all just a blur, a dream. And he wasn't even drunk. This was crazy. And to make matters worse, there was this painful emptiness in his growling stomach, and he resented not having had anything to eat.
As he laid there, still limply in the bed with his tail equally as limply at his side, he closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead.
Looking at the fur on his chest bobbing up and down, up and down, and up and down again was beginning to bore him and he proposed himself he'd get out and face the new day as soon as he remembered just what happened last night. And just why Pipsy and Timber both made such a big deal out of it.
Timber was annoying. Why did he make such a big deal out of it? He made a big deal out of anything, even way back then. He was terribly annoyed that it was called "Diddy Kong Racing" while it was his island, tripping over the fourth wall every time he complained about it. If anything, he seemed more occupied with his island than anything else. Why didn't he just leave everyone at peace to kiss his island…
Conker's mind wandered towards Timber's presumed objectophilia, imagining the tiger making out with the lighthouse at the beach, and he grinned to himself. It sounded all too absurd to even be believable, but to him, just imagining it was hilarious.
It completely slipped his mind why he was here again. He remembered something about Banjo's sister, and Taj… what even happened to Taj? Seriously.
"Conker!" a familiar voice hollered. Definitely Banjo's. And Conker was glad to hear the bear sounding a lot more excited and happy today, much like how he was when they saw each other for the first time in such a long time again, yesterday. "Rise 'n shine, guh-huh!"
He'd thought he'd never hear that again.
With a smile on his lips, Conker got up and clothed himself. He'd have enough time to think about things later. After he had himself a good breakfast.
A short while later, Conker was following Banjo on his way through the trees and rocks of the Dragon Forest. The grass was damp and it stained the denim on his sneakers a darker blue than it already was, and the morning was cold and brisk enough to make the squirrel's fur stand right on end.
He wasn't sure what kind of part of the island this even was, and tried to jog his memory for all he could manage – but the sudden rush of an angry river close to the both of them startled him.
"Boulder Canyon is very treacherous," Banjo explained. "So stay with me. And Kazooie, ya better prepare y'self as well. I wanna fly around for a bit."
An annoyed grumbling noise was all that came from the backpack and Banjo paid it little heed.
Conker thought it all felt rather empty. Apart from him and his friend, the chirping birds, and the rushing of the river in the canyon down there, the area seemed kind of desolate. It wasn't as bad as in the valley, but it was still pretty empty.
"The area guardians," Conker suddenly piped up. He remembered them just when he had almost forgotten. Tricky and Smokey, that octopus guy he couldn't stand, and that walrus. He couldn't bother remembering their names. "Why won't they help us?"
"About that…" Banjo began. "They've chosen to remain indifferent or somethin'. Indifferent, neutral, whatever. Sayin' that we're on our own. Haven't seen any of 'em in a while." Trailing off, Banjo rambled on. "Hey, Conker? I reckon y' should feast yer eyes on me an' Kazooie once we're up in the air. It's a wonderful sight, even when you're all the way down there."
"Eh? Yeah, sure, whatever," Conker muttered. He really wasn't paying attention and nearly lost his balance, almost tumbling off the cliff they were walking on. A quick twitching of his tail to keep balance and swerving away saved him.
Wide-eyed in fearful curiosity, he looked down at the rock crumbs that fell down and immediately got devoured by the merciless rapids. It was a deep trench, and the river was unrelenting. If anyone dropped down here, they'd most certainly drown – but if they were lucky, they'd get knocked unconscious by the rocks first.
"Conker? You listenin', buddy?"
"Eh? Yeah, I was," Conker lied. "You said somethin' 'bout flying?"
"Oh, yes, I did," Banjo said. He sounded excited. "Look – there's a cliffy peak over yonder. I reckon we should go there. What do y' say, Kazooie?"
Kazooie's crested head popped out of the backpack, looking around curiously, though the frown on her face indicated that she was unamused with her bear buddy's antics. Usually it was the other way around –Kazooie wanted to go on adventures, and Banjo preferred to stay at home. Figures, his sister's disappearance must've awoken some of his old adventuring spirit.
"Alright, Banjo," Kazooie groaned. "If I must."
With Conker following behind, Banjo went up to the cliff. Looking downwards filled him with a rush of adrenaline – it was terribly high up above the treacherous rapids. In the distance, safely lodged between a small copse of trees and framed by the same river, was an old, worn-out castle that looked like one from a fairy tale. It was overgrown with plants, fairly small and insignificant against the blue sky and the green forests. None of them paid it much attention.
It should've scared him, but Banjo found himself smiling eagerly. The bear stood on the tip of the cliff, spreading his arms as to embrace the sky, and feeling the breeze through his scruffy fur. The wind brushing along his face felt wonderful to him. The smell of adventure was in the air.
Kazooie had her wings out as well, preparing herself for flight – though she didn't care much about smells of adventure and wonder and fairy tales. She just wanted to get it over with. Banjo was way too sentimental.
Then, it happened. Banjo let himself fall face-first into the depths. Conker couldn't believe his eyes. Was he really putting his life at stake, in the wings of that unreliable bird?
But just when he thought his old friend was taken by the merciless river, a bundle of brown fur and red-orange feathers, bound together by nothing but a blue backpack, shot up over the cliff, high up into the sky. The duo spun around and around, and with a few flaps of Kazooie's mighty wings, they did it again, climbing higher and higher until they dipped downwards and went into a nose-dive through the clouds. Kazooie quickly spread her wings again afterwards to prevent the both of them tumbling into the water. All the while, Banjo helped to steer with his arms and legs, doing whatever he could while he was dangling there. They were perfectly synchronised after more than twenty years.
It was an enthralling sight, indeed. Whereas Conker had at first disputed the idea of the two of them looking like a shooting star, he now knew just why Banjo made that comparison earlier. Such grace from two completely different species, brought together by sheer coincidence and putting their full trust into one another – it seemed like a scene from a wonderful movie. He should remember that for when he got home.
Though as beautiful as a sight it was, Conker eventually felt a more pressing urge, and he cupped his mouth as he hollered up to the bear and bird.
"Oi, Banjo!" he called.
The two steadied their loops and tumbles and flew in a straight line so Banjo could hear whatever his friend all the way down there had to say.
"I gotta take a leak!" He really couldn't think of any other way to say it. "You two have fun there!"
Banjo gave a reassuring thumbs-up and Kazooie rolled her eyes as she flapped her wings and flapped them again.
"Goodness me, Conker, way to ruin the mood…" she muttered under her breath.
Conker wandered through the trees of a nearby forest glade, and found himself wondering just what good it did for them to fly around for little to no apparent reason.
At this point, he was feeling exceptionally grumpy, for he had completely goofed at his chance with Pipsy. He wouldn't blame her if she wouldn't want to see him again after this. He couldn't help it. It was in his nature. But he felt that he could've, at least, been more subtle about it.
He silently cursed at himself as he stopped, and fumbled around to aim at a carefully-chosen tree.
Relief. Sweet, sweet relief. He had spent too much time holding it up as Banjo took his time to find this lovely place. Banjo was a nice guy, but was it really necessary?
Just when the squirrel had almost finished doing his thing, he felt spied on. His suspicions were confirmed when he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. How awkward.
"What in the-… ah, shit!"
At the sound, he had jerked his head around a tad too quickly to catch a glimpse of that sneaky someone who was apparently watching him – but in the hurried way he did this, he felt the sickening thought that maybe he had dribbled over his own shoes as he did.
He cursed under his breath. This was not helpful at all.
"Show yourself," the annoyed squirrel demanded in a brash voice he didn't knew he was capable of doing. He wasn't up for this at all. Luckily enough, he soon came to the discovery that he hadn't soiled his footwear with his own urine, but it was bad enough that someone was spying on him while he was doing his business.
But there was nobody.
Or was there?
A shadow passed through the trees, accompanied by faint laughter unlike anything he'd heard before, and Conker cocked an eyebrow in curiosity. This figure seemed too small to be Banjo, and too un-birdlike to be Kazooie. In fact, it looked a lot like his own shadow, the first time he noticed it. It had the same bushy tail and flighty feet.
After he put away his... ahem, equipment, Conker frizzed up the fur on his tail and gave chase.
But as soon as he got close to the mysterious figure – who seemed to be wearing a cloak of some sort, or a cape – a dead end brought a halt to the chase, and he began whining.
"Don't hurt me!" a nasally voice pleaded. The figure turned around, pressed up with his back against the wall, and Conker could not believe his eyes.
This fellow looked like Conker. Apart from the darker, more contrasting fur, and the slightly more exaggerated hairdo, he really did. But instead of a short, twitchy nose, this guy's snout was long and his nose was enormous. Sharp, snaggly teeth stuck out of every corner of his upper jaw. It was as if someone had drawn a bad caricature of Conker and then somehow made it come to life. He was snarling by now, as if he read that very sentence.
"Don't hurt me or you'll regret it. Conker."
Wait. This bozo knew his name. And though the squirrel tried all too hard to recollect just who this fellow was, he found himself drawing a blank. Getting to the point – and in the guy's face – he pinned him against the wall and snapped; "Why the hell were you spying on me while I was pissin', you creep?"
"I'm not a creep," the other replied, a whine to his voice. He glared downwards towards Conker quickly with those oddly-coloured eyes of his. He coughed. Probably nervous. "I was just… well, I haven't seen you in a million years. I thought ya was done for."
Who was this guy? And why did he know me? Conker's thoughts were all over the place.
Just then, it hit him like a brick.
Vultureville. Jail. Mako Islands. Boat race.
This guy was his self-declared arch-nemesis from his childhood, the Evil Acorn's right-hand lackey – Honker the skunk. Conker found himself smirking.
"Hello, pretty flower."
