AN: Here and there in this chapter we have our first bits of vintage SM salted in the text, which I herewith acknowledge. There will be larger chunks in later chapters as I start bending canon into the shape I want it to be. Have fun in this chapter, folks. Edward, our masochistic lion, won't...or not much anyway. ;-)
Bella's POV
It didn't take me long to clear away my homework since the coursework at Forks High School was actually some weeks behind where I'd been in Phoenix. There's a definite advantage to being a bookish wallflower. With no one pestering you, it makes AP coursework a snap. I sighed. Of course there was a disadvantage to being a bookish wallflower too. No friends. Lots of acquaintances, but no real friends. That was why I'd left no one behind in Phoenix. There would be no 'missing you' phone calls, letters, texts, or emails. The only people who could possibly miss me would be Phil and Renee, and they had enough to occupy their time without holding my hand long-distance.
"Stop it, just stop it! You're going to work yourself into a mood here, if you don't watch it," I snarled at myself. One self-absorbed jerk gives you the evil eye and you're wallowing in teen angst. Something you've always left to your peers.
But I was still left with wondering just what had happened there. What had I done to set Edward Cullen off, aside from breathe the same air as him? I sighed. Whatever it was, I wasn't going to find the answer tonight and probably wouldn't until I bearded the lion in his den tomorrow in biology. So, let's stick a pin in it for now, Bella.
Getting up, I walked into Kat's room. She was laying on the throw rug at the foot of her bed, humming to herself tunelessly, while working her way through a page of her Dora coloring book.
"Time to get ready for bed, Sweetie."
"Are you still mad at me, Sissy?"
I sighed as I thought of the irony my mother would see in this situation. "No Kitty Kat, I never was mad at you. I was just scared, and it came out as looking mad." Okay, I'd been mad at her, but I needed her to understand.
"Why were you scared?"
"Because you weren't where I could see you, and you didn't answer right away. I thought something bad had happened to you."
"Oh."
She got up and walked over to me, holding her arms up. Kat was getting too big for me to do this often, but there were always exceptions to the rule. With a grunt I lifted her from the bottom as her arms slid around my neck and she planted a damp kiss on my cheek.
"I'm sorry I scared you, Sissy."
"And I'm sorry I acted all mad."
Kat put her head on my shoulder. "Will you read to me tonight?"
"It's pretty late, Sweetie."
"I don't want a whole story, just a little bit of one."
I smiled silently. How little of a 'little bit' was, we'd see. "Which story?"
"Where the Wild Things Are"?
I set her on her feet and said, "Okay, you go wash up and brush your teeth. Get back here as fast as you can, and you can have two chapters."
And she was gone like greased lightning.
"Make sure that you're clean Katrina, because I'll be checking!" I called after her.
Forty minutes later, after three chapters of "Where the Wild Things Are", she was sound asleep. I tucked her in, kissed her goodnight, checked her nightlight, and turned off her overhead. I left the door open, in case she needed me during the night.
Suddenly I was exhausted as the day caught up with me. I couldn't think about anything, but my bed. Not future puppies or mean-spirited boys. I only wanted to sleep. No sooner did my head hit the pillow, than I was out like the proverbial light, and tonight Kat slept in her own bed. Tomorrow was another day. I would deal with Edward Cullen then.
Alas it was not to be.
When I arrived at school on Tuesday, after dropping Kat off, I saw his family in the parking lot next to his car, but the tall bronze-haired figure I'd hoped to see was missing. He wasn't at lunch, nor was he in biology. The rumor mill reported that he was out sick, but some part of my mind kept telling me that it wasn't a virus that was keeping him away from school. It was me. The larger part of my mind told me that I was being a self-important fool. That my presence or lack thereof should have no impact on anyone, let alone someone like Edward Cullen, but my instincts weren't listening. There was something about me that he found unbearable. The thought depressed me more as the question of 'why' lingered unanswered.
The days came and went with little change for the rest of the week. Kat and I were settling in. We called mom and talked to her every other day, as much for her sake as for ours. The days remained cold, gray, and rainy. There were times that I found Kat looking out her bedroom window into the trees beyond our backyard with a melancholy expression on her face, like she was looking for something and was disappointed when she didn't find it. No amount of prying would get her to talk, so I chose my mother's route. I would do what mom did with me and out-wait her.
Wednesday yielded one nugget of information. My father apparently believes that Dr. Carlisle Cullen, Edward's father, can walk on water. Apparently he could be in private practice on Park Avenue, or stand as the head of thoracic surgery at Johns Hopkins. Instead, his wife's love of small town life has him working at the county hospital for a pittance of what he could earn elsewhere, something for which my father is apparently very grateful. That, and he's upset with the way he thinks that 'some people' have been badmouthing him and his family. Truthfully the only people I've heard badmouthing the Cullens have been Mike and Jessica, and that's just high school politics. Ostracize those who are different. Of course it doesn't help a lot if they seem to want to be ostracized. But that's teenage stuff. Whatever has Charlie feeling defensive on the Cullens' behalf is a lot bigger and closer to home than some teenage gossip.
Another fact to add to the growing pile of things that don't fit into the puzzle that is Edward Cullen.
To occupy my mind I started to read Wuthering Heights again, when I wasn't busy keeping up with Kat, Charlie, and my other school work. The novel seemed to suit my underlying mood.
The weekend came and went, with Charlie taking some time to go fishing while I cleaned house, did laundry, and planned the menu for the coming week. By Sunday afternoon the freezer in the kitchen was full of casseroles ready for the oven, and I'd made a roasted chicken. Two chickens in fact, one of them being slated for Charlie's lunches in one form or another over the coming week. In my book, my roasted chicken together with some steamed vegetables beat a take-out burger when it came to Charlie's arteries, every single time.
Monday morning came and I arrived at school only to freeze in my truck seat as I saw a familiar figure in the parking lot. He was here! It was time to face the music and find out exactly what his issue was so I could safely put him out of my mind. Yeah, right. That was it. Out of my mind.
Edward's POV
The choice to return had been surprisingly easy, once I realized that I really had no choice. I missed my family, Tanya was once again annoying me with her unsubtle pursuit of me, and I was being haunted. No matter where I looked or what I tried to distract myself with, she was always there. The Swan girl. Without her scent to cloud the issue, I still had to deal with the fact that, for some impossible reason, I found her intriguing. Up north, in the silence and solitude of Alaska, she had been everywhere. Her eyes, her hair, the symmetry of her pale heart-shaped face where always before my eyes.
When I arrived home I was greeted like the prodigal son. Esme's welcome was overwhelming, to be followed closely by her scolding for my leaving in the first place. It brought back bitter-sweet memories of my homecoming after I'd ended my resistance to Carlisle's chosen lifestyle. Neither time did I feel like I deserved the ecstatic welcome I received, so ashamed was I of my reasons for leaving, both times.
It was Monday morning, and it was time to face my personal demons. Or demon, rather. I realized it was unfair to place such a burden upon the slender shoulders of Isabella Swan. This was my problem, not hers, but the petulant child somewhere deep inside of me still insisted on trying to blame her for moving here. My family was supportive of my determination to stay and fight my instincts. Oddly, while Alice was the most supportive, I was left with the distinct impression that she was hiding something from me again. Alice was very skilled at hiding things from me. That's not to say that I couldn't eventually find out what I wanted to know, but I had to make her think about it first. And so far I'd had no luck at that. So we were in sort of a stalemate.
I stalked Bella Swan all day through other minds and senses of other people, until lunchtime, when we would have to at least be in the same room together. At first I made a show of ignoring her, even though I was concerned by the fact that she wasn't eating, while her classmates were consuming every last morsel of food at their disposal. Was she ill? Then, when Jessica Stanley tattled on me for staring at her, she determinedly kept her face turned away from me, not even glancing at me.
"I don't think he likes me," she'd said.
I couldn't say that she was wrong, as I was looking forward to my sojourn with her in Biology with little enthusiasm, but at the same time, my stomach twisted at her words as something in me ached to deny them. I hadn't told my family about my haunted stay in the land of the midnight sun. I was afraid that they would think that the Swan girl's scent had caused my mind to snap, if I revealed the degree to which I cared what she thought of me, or how I wished for nothing more than to see her again. None of those things made the slightest sense to me, even though they were true and I knew it. Why should this girl affect me so powerfully, beyond her luxurious and mouthwatering scent?
"Shall we?" Rosalie said, standing eight minutes before the bell was to ring. Silently we all stood up, dumped our prop-food in the waste cans, and made our way out of the cafeteria. Emmett and Rose pealed off right away to head off for Emmett's least favorite class of the day. Gym. He hated having to suppress his competitive nature in order appear to be a human, and a physically sub-par human at that. He hated it.
Jasper and Alice walked me to Mr. Banner's classroom. Where Emmett and Rose were a little smug about my recent weakness, Jasper was supportive. The unnatural calm with which I was facing the coming class hour said so. He understood somewhat, what I was going to face. He faced it every day. I sighed. I was hunting more often now, but I did so alone so I didn't have to share the evidence of my weakness with the family. Maybe I should invite Jasper along tonight. He and I hadn't had occasion to do much male bonding lately. It was time to change that, even if we were bonding over our shared character flaw. It would help him, and I owed him for being here now. Like I owed Alice. She'd promised to watch my immediate future for any indication that my control would slip, and text me, anywhere, anytime. There was something else going on as well, because in her mind she was currently translating French pop-music lyrics into Farsi. Those were some pretty heavy mental gymnastics she had going on there, which means that she had something that she really wanted to hide from me. What she didn't realize is that she had a 'tell'. The closer we got to Biology, the more intense her efforts became. This worried me, because in my mind that related what she was trying to hide directly to Bella Swan. Would she hide a massacre from me if there was no hope? Would she let me walk in that room knowing that I would fail? I didn't think so, but…
"What do you see, Alice? Am I going to kill her?"
She blinked, startled, as we halted just down the hall from Biology, and for just a second her block flickered. Not long enough to see anything substantial, but long enough to tell me that she wasn't hiding a disaster. No, a bloodbath wouldn't have made her happy, and what I saw was Alice…smiling brightly.
"No, why do you ask?" she countered.
"You're shielding awfully hard, and I think it has something to do with Bella Swan."
She grinned, actually grinned. I'm facing an hour of torture like the Inquisition never imagined and she has the wherewithal to grin at me?
"Nope, brother dear, I can truthfully say that what I'm hiding has no bearing on your problem with your classmate. As for what I'm hiding, that's for me to know and you to die of frustration over."
I glared at her. Annoying little pixie. "So it has nothing to do with Bella Swan?" Not even a flicker this time.
"No," she said, merrily. "You'll be fine."
I sighed. "That depends on your definition of fine, doesn't it?"
She leaned in and kissed my cheek as she said softly, "I said you'll be fine, you big goof, and I meant fine."
The bell rang and the noise level in the school rose abruptly as the student body turned out of their classes. Soon it would be 'Hail Caesar' time…only I wouldn't be the one about to die. I cringed internally at the imagery and felt my stomach twist and my fear grow at the mere possibility of hurting Bella Swan. What was wrong with me?
Jasper took Alice's hand. "Let's go Milady, French class awaits you." He looked at me and my calm returned. "She's right you know," he said firmly. "Of all of us, only Carlisle can beat you at self-discipline and control. You'll be alright."
Together they walked off down the hall while I stood silently against the lockers. As attractive as we are to humans, we excel at being unobtrusive when we want to. We can hide in plain sight…as long as the sun isn't shining. I waited as the students ebbed and flowed around me, then the scent hit me as it wafted down the corridor, growing stronger, then finally passing over me like a tidal-wave as Bella, escorted by that odious boy Michael Newton and his equally disgusting cloud of fantasies, passed by on the way to Mr. Banner's room. I gave her time to get settled before I followed. I paused outside the door and took a deep breath. My last breath of clean air for an hour.
"Hail Caesar," I sighed.
TBC
