A/N:

So, here's part 2. This scene takes place after Neal's death, so it's a little darker, more about comfort than the light-heartedness of the last chapter.

Disclaimer:

I still don't own a thing. Same song n'stuff.


If I Lose Myself

(Post-Mortem)


I woke up with the sun

Thought of all the people, places, and things I've loved

And I woke up just to see

If all of the faces, you're the one next to me

Emma woke to see the sunlight streaming in through the window. It took her a second to get her bearings, but then she remembered where she was –the Jolly Roger, Captain's Quarters. Hook's bed.

The throbbing headache reminded her of what had happened last night; she had gone to the bar in an attempt to drink away the pain of losing Neal (apparently a month wasn't enough time to get over someone's death), and she found Hook there doing the same. They had a few drinks and shared stories about their favorite memories of Neal. Then, like it always did, their conversation turned to their complicated romantic feelings.

Now that Neal was gone, did that make it okay for Emma to love Hook? Maybe it was the hole in her heart left by Neal's death, or maybe it was the drinks talking, but she found herself giving in to Hook's affections. Afraid of what everyone in the bar would think, she suggested they leave. They began walking, and before she knew it, they were kissing as if there was no tomorrow and he was taking her to bed.

Just as she was wondering whether or not he was awake, she felt his hand trailing up and down her side. She turned to face him and was met with a sleepy grin.

"Morning, love."

"Morning," she grinned back.

He brought his hand up to brush the stray hairs away from her face. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did," she replied, bringing her hands up to rest on his chest.

"Good," he whispered, planting a quick kiss on her forehead. He turned back to look at her, and a shadow crossed over his features, as if he was deep in thought.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked.

"Just wondering…never mind," he finished quickly.

"Come on, what is it?"

He exhaled like he was holding his breath. "Was this… was it because of Neal?"

His words felt like a punch in the gut. Was that why she was here? To forget about Neal? True, his loss devastated her, but did that mean she would stoop so low as to use Hook like this?

"No," she decided. "It wasn't because of Neal." She snuggled closer to him, fitting her head in the curve of his neck like a puzzle piece. His sigh of relief tickled her hairline, and he wrapped his arms around her protectively.

"It gets easier, you know," he murmured, rubbing small circles on her back, "with time. But you never stop missing them."

She realized he wasn't just talking about Neal anymore. She adjusted so she could look him in the eye.

"You still miss her, don't you?" she whispered. "Milah?"

He nodded sadly. "Every day."

She stroked his cheek, like that could take the pain away. His eyes fluttered closed at her touch, and he turned his head so he could kiss her palm.

"You remind me of her sometimes," he continued.

"Really?"

"You're both brave and fiercely loyal. You'll fight 'til the end for the ones you love."

"Sounds familiar," she murmured, tracing circles on his chest with her fingertips. His smile washed away the sadness that accompanied the memory.

"But there is one thing that makes you different, Swan. You have hope. You always believe that everything will be all right, and then you find a way to make it so. You inspire me to become a better man, and I'm thankful every day for that. I think that's why I fell in love with you."

Emma's eyes misted over at his heartfelt declaration. She searched for the right words, but there wasn't a phrase that could describe the depth and power of her feelings. So she told him with a kiss instead: soft and strong, full of promises for the future. She pulled back to look him in the eye again.

"We're going to be okay, aren't we?"

"There's that optimism." He smiled. "What makes you say that?"

She leaned in close so that her nose brushed his. She closed her eyes as she whispered:

"Because we have each other."


Thoughts? Ideas? Reviews? I'd love to hear from you!