Chapter 8.
Larka: Her friend bloodytears666 is not Raven. Raven actually appears to be a decent writer and this bloodytears666 person is horrible, writes pretty much the same as Tara here.
Also, a word to the wise for people who write like this; the people who say they like your story and find it hilarious, they're laughing at you, not with you.
AN: Stop flaming ok! If you do then you are a prep!
Penny: Dang it, she found out my secret identity. I am Brittany
Luke: I'm not a prep, I kept flaming.
Larka: I was told not to.
Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.
"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.
My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly.
Larka: Definatly not the right word.
She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes
Larka: Are goffick people just born with red eyes?
like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on.
Larka: And the last half of that sentence made none [sense].
She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born.
Larka: Irrele(Luke: phant). It doesn't have anything to do with elephants.
Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch
Larka: We'll assume it's her mother that's the witch.
but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed.
Larka: If she was kidnapped but didn't remember it then she had to have been really young, so she wouldn't have nightmares about what she couldn't remember.
It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger.
Larka: Another irrelephant.
Penny: Random character change, why didn't she just make an OC?
(Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )
Larka: I'm not even going to comment on the irregularities of that statement.
Penny: Racist! Or Religion/Houseist?
"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!"
Penny: Another one for the record books people
Larka: Go Snape! Go Snape!
Luke: Goooooooooooo SNAPE!
Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.
"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.
Everyone gasped.
Larka: Hold it, back up. Vampire cheated on her? I thought Draco was dating her, not Vampire-Harry. Harry's to nice to cheat on anyone. And people were surprised by this?
I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me.
Larka: Woah! Okay! Back up again. We switched from Ebony to some one else without appropriate warning. I wonder who we are forced to listen too now. Maybe Vampire.
I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony)
Larka: That's news to me. We weren't informed of this before because...? (P.S. 'Went out'. Me thinks he meant 'gone out'.)
for a while but then he broke my heart.
Larka: Such is love, my friend. Such is love.
He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy f*cker.
Larka: This is the first time we've heard of this Britney chick.
We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)
Penny: So this sentence makes me imply that when you dated Vampire, he wasn't goffik yet. Oooh, don't tell Enoby. She'll flip you off for no reason
Larka: To be honest with you, I've never met you before.
"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.
"Yeah f*cking right! F*ck off, you bastard!" I screamed.
Larka: Are we back to her now? I think so.
I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility (?) to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.
Penny: Virility: the masculine property of being capable of copulation and procreation. So basically Enoby lost her ability to make sperm.
Larka: I would feel bad, but I really don't. Ebony must be a hermaphrodite.
Penny: That reminds me of Friends where Ross reveals that he started the rumor about Rachel being the hermaphrodite in High School. I loved when Chandler asked. "You were that hermaphrodite cheerleader?"
