Chapter 9: Not Quite A Beginning
It took several days, or what seemed like days, he wasn't really sure, before he decided that he needed a change. He needed to change something. He couldn't just stay still and hope for change to come to him. That was what he had been doing for the last several years. He'd been sitting up in his little tower and slowly losing what little of himself he'd ever had and terrorizing his own servants. He'd become more than a monster, but it wasn't because of what he'd looked like.
She had helped him understand that. It wasn't anything to do with what he looked like but completely to do with how he acted. You were only really a monster if you wanted to be, if you didn't care.
He'd indulged himself in some self-pity. Okay, he'd indulged in a lot of self-pity, especially since the one person that he'd ever really loved since his mother had died had ridden out of his life. He'd let her go, he'd all but told her to go and given her the only way he'd had of ever seeing her again. But he'd been fine with that, even if she'd never use it, even if she'd never really keep it.
"Stop it," he told himself, "Stop thinking that way. She's better than that and she deserves to have her memory treated better than that, especially from you."
Belle had been everything and nothing at the same time. She had been so much more than he'd ever thought she would be. She deserved the very best that he had to give even if she wasn't there to receive it. If he truly loved her as he'd told his servant, then he needed to do something about it.
XXxxXX
Mrs. Potts was surprised when instead of finding Lumiere she found her Master instead. He was making his way down to the library with a purpose in his steps that she hadn't seen since Belle had left.
"Master?"
He doesn't stop, but he does slow down enough so that she's not completely left behind. "Mrs. Potts."
"Master, is there something you need?" Her voice remained unhurried even as she hopped beside him. She was certainly the most stable of his servants and friends. Probably because she could remember him as a child and was a mother herself. Mothers were strangely calm and stable creatures in the Beast's experience.
"I have decided to go back to the library and continue my reading. I have been neglecting my education since long before…Belle… came to live with us." He paused slightly after that, but only hesitated a moment in his stride before continuing, "I…I will not allow myself to forget what she has taught me."
He said no more on their walk through the castle. Mrs. Potts follows along in his wake, slightly startled, but most of all proud.
Her Master was one of the first children she was ever in charge of before she had her own. He is finally growing up and moving on with his life, even if in a very painful way. And she is as proud of him as if he were her own child, though she has always been careful to never treat him as such. He is not her child and never has been, but he has been her charge for far longer than he has been around anyone else.
Now if only she could find Chip, everything would be better than it had been since Miss Belle had left.
XXxxXX
The Beast spent several hours in the library, eating small meals as carefully as possible around the treasured books before returning to his wing for the night. This is where he is when she returns to his life.
He'd been going through the library and trying to remember what little he'd learned during his lessons as a boy from his father before he'd passed. He knew what to do with very little of what he knew as he didn't really have any connections outside of his castle and enchanted servants anymore. Any that he might have had long since stopped trying to contact him. Several of them had only worked reluctantly with his servants because he was a prince and had wealth. He was almost entirely certain that other than missing the added income, his disappearance from their lives had been taken with a toast and a good riddance.
This and many more unnamed reasons were part of why he was so shocked when he received word that Belle and her father had returned to his castle.
"I'm afraid that they were taken directly to rooms for the night, Master. They were too exhausted for even a cup of tea." Cogsworth was the one reporting to him as Mrs. Potts was, surely, settling their unexpected guests in their rooms for the night. "Is there anything else that you might require at this time, sir?"
The Beast stood there for a long moment just staring at his steward. "No, no, Cogsworth. Just make sure that there is a good breakfast for us all in the morning and that my guests have everything that they need." He dismissed the little enchanted clock who left with a small bow before shutting the door behind himself.
The Beast took a moment to idly wonder at how well his servants were able to interact with their world despite the spell that would likely never end. He didn't entertain such thoughts long as he settled himself into his large bed for the night and fell asleep by sheer force of will.
The sooner he slept, the sooner he'd wake and learn whether this was just a dream or not.
