-In which, Sakura is dating Madara and "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, TEME!" but "Actually, Dickless, we think it's partially your fault too."


Okay, so this chapter is just something I thought would be a nice laugh. You see, I was bored one day, and so I started reading random fanfics about random Naruto couples. And one of the couples I decided to check out was MadaSaku. And the reason why that author decided to put the two together is because Sakura seems to be have been paired with Itachi and Sasuke already, and so s/he thought why not Madara too. I personally don't exactly see the reason as to why there would be a couple like that, and so this oneshot was born. Please, enjoy!


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❤❀~Nice Going, Romeo~❀❤

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"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, TEME!"

"Actually, Dickless, we think it's partially your fault too."

"WHAT? MY FAULT? WHO THE HELL THINKS THAT?"

"Um . . . we do," Ino said, refering to herself and the rest of Konoha 11 plus Sai. "Oh, and the sensei too."

"What? Why?"

"Well . . . um . . . Naruto-kun, just think about it. You . . . you and Sasuke-san are k-kind of . . . um . . . opened about your . . . um, relationship. And—"

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING! I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THIS STAGE! I ALREADY TOLD YOU GUYS! THE TEME AND I AREN'T GAY!"

"Hn," Sasuke agreed.

"Well, it doesn't seem like it." Neji said. Then he added in a low hissing voice, "And if you yell at Hinata one more time, I swear you will never enjoy the taste of ramen ever again."

Naruto swallowed hard, nodding his head. Never cross Hyuga Neji. Never.

"Would someone mind explaining it to me why it's the dobe and my fault that Sakura's dating Madara?"

"Yeah, what the Teme said! And how in the world did that happen? I never thought of Madara as someone who'd chase after a girl, let alone someone a few decades younger than him. That was to be, like, incest or something. Don't we got laws about this?"

"Who said it was Madara who chased after Sakura?" Shikamaru asked.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT? IT WAS SAKURA-CHAN WHO SEDUCED MADARA?"

". . . . . . ."

"What's the matter with you two?" Tenten asked. "You can't expect to tell us that you didn't think something like that would happen."

"Yeah, but I thought it would be the Teme she'd seduce! Not his ancestor! And stop glaring at me, Teme! Half of the whole entire world—maybe even more than that—wanted some SasuSaku action!"

"Yes, but that isn't going happen now, is it?" Sasuke asked, still so emotionless.

"Come on, don't be such a prick, Teme! You don't have to hide it from us! We know that, deep down, you secretly want to ravish Sakura-chan!"

If Sasuke had been eating something, he would've choked. If he had been drinking something, he would have spit it all out at the blonde. But too bad. No such luck.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." How the F*** did he get so smart?

"Oh, come now, Sasuke!" Choji said, trying but not succeeding in opening his bag of chips. "We'll all be okay with it if you stopped your ice-cube image. I mean, all of us—well, almost all of us—are part of the SasuSaku club."

"What do you mean by 'almost'?"

"Well," Tenten said, pointing at her energetic teammate, "Lee here still doesn't believe it'll happen as he wants Sakura all to himself."

"I do not believe, Tenten." the little green-jumpsuit-wearing guy said. "I know it will happen. I shall beat my youthful rival! And when it does, I will ride into the sunset with my beautiful cherry blossom!"

"Okay, first of all, do not call me youthful." the Uchiha growled. "Secondly, you won't ever beat me. Thirdly, riding into the sunset is just crappy. Fourthly—"

"Teme, this is a long list."

"Shut it, Dobe. Fourthly, that will not happen. And fifthly, Sakura will never be yours."

"AHA! YOU ADMIT IT!"

"Admit what?"

"THAT YOU LIKE SAKURA-CHAN!"

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"Um . . . Naruto-kun, Sasuke-san j-j-just said Sakura won't b-b-be Lee's. H-How is that a confession of Sasuke l-liking Sakura-chan?"

"Aw crap! You just had to ruin my parade, didn't you, Hinata-chan?"

"Did you just yell at my cousin again?"

"N-No, Neji!"

"Ugh, let's get back to the matter at hand." Ino said. "Sasuke, it doesn't matter if you like Sakura or not. What matters is that you be the one to crash the wedding."

"Why me?" Oh, how I'd love to do that.

"Because this wedding will affect you the most," Shino answered.

". . . How?" Yes, give me reasons so I don't look like a love-sick fool.

"Well, think about it, Uchiha. You find Sakura annoying, right?"

A nod. In that she's always in my thoughts.

"And you probably can't deal with her nagging at you all day, right?"

A nod. Nah, not really... I just like to hear her talk.

"And you probably can't deal with her screaming at you about being lazy and noting doing anything but watching the clouds and—"

"Um . . . Shikamaru, you're talking about yourself and your relationship with your mom." Choji interrupted.

"Oh, right. Moving on! If she marries Madara who's your ancestor which automatically makes him the boss of you because he'd be head of the clan or something like that then Sakura technically gets the right to boss you around. And if you think Sakura's annoying now, just wait until she becomes the matriarch of the Uchiha clan. Annoying won't even describe it. And—"

"Hey, where did the Teme go?"

"Um . . . Naruto-kun, he stomped off somewhere."

"Did you see where, Hinata-chan?"

"Um . . . n-no, but I did hear him m-mutter, 'Okay, got enough reasons. Time to kill that creepy old lunatic and get back what's mine.' And then he was gone."

"HA! I KNEW THE TEME LIKED HER!" Then he decided to scream out into the distance, "TEME, MAKE SURE YOU GOT SOME CLASS WHEN YOU CRASH THE WEDDING! YOU GOT TO, GOT TO HAVE SOME TENDERNESS! THE CHICKS LOVE THAT KIND OF CRAP!"

"Heh, looks like Forehead was right. If you add pressure to jealousy, Sasuke really does get moving."

"What? So are you saying that Sakura-chan isn't marrying Madara?"

"Who said that? Forehead's not going take anything short of Sasuke begging on his knees, so you better hope that he thinks of something epic to stop that wedding or he's going to be insufferable! Just imagine training with Sasuke if Sakura actually does marry Madara. He'd probably take all his anger out on you. Now that would be bad!"

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"TEME, WAIT UP! I'M A-GOING TO HELP YOU!"

"Five bucks they'll actually beg her."

"Four bucks Dickless does something stupid and messes things up."

"Ten bucks that . . . that Naruto-kun makes Sasuke-san do something . . . un-Uchiha-like."

"But didn't that already happen, Hinata?" Neji asked.

"Y-Yep! So pay up!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· . °✿

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Okay, this turned out horrible...