Makoto had stopped touching Haru. Not entirely, of course, but almost entirely. Now, he only touched Haru when it was necessary; absolutely necessary.

Haru tried to be reasonable and unbothered by it. After all, Makoto didn't touch Nagisa or Rei more than necessary either. But Haru wasn't Nagisa or Rei, he was Makoto's best friend and Makoto had always touched him. Again, he tried to be reasonable and acknowledge that Makoto did touch him still, just not as often. No more bumping hands as they walked along the coast. No more Makoto straightening out the collar on his uniform, running his hands across Haru's shoulders to make sure everything was smooth. No more of the little touches. The most important ones.

Annoyed that the water wasn't soothing these thoughts away like he wanted them to, Haru righten himself and began to head towards the edge of the pool. Makoto was, of course, sitting on the cement looking worriedly at Haru. He had protested profusely to Haru's swimming because it was still early in the season and the water wasn't warm by any means, but had eventually relented. Haru knew that if he did get sick, Makoto wouldn't rub his face in it. He would simple settle in to take care of Haru and nurse him back to health.

As if on cue, Haru sneezed. Makoto's worried expression deeped as he reached a hand out to Haru who took it obligingly. He was hoisted out of the water and stood across his best friend.

Normally, Makoto would press the back of his hand to Haru's forehead to feel for a fever. It had happened so many times that Haru practically closed his eyes in anticipation of it. Instead, Makoto's green eyes fixed Haru with a stare and he asked "Are you feeling okay? Feverish?"

A moment passed where Haru considered screaming in response instead of answering. "I'm fine."

The look that creased Makoto's brow was one Haru knew well; the look that implied that he didn't believe Haru-that he could see through Haru's white lie. Normally that look would get some reaction out of Haru but if Makoto could pull away, Haru could too. So, instead, he grabbed his towel off the ground and turned on his heel and stalked off.

He didn't need to look back to make sure Makoto was following.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

On a normal morning, Haru would stay in the bathtub until Makoto came in to drag him out. It was something they had been doing for years; routine. Lately, however, the routine had disappeared. Instead of coming in, Makoto started knocking on the bathroom door and insisting that Haru come out, waiting outside the door until he did. That was enough to set Haru's nerves on edge but it got worse from there. Now, Makoto came later and later each day so that it was more likely that Haru was out of the tub by the time he arrived.

Today, Makoto would walk out of his house to find Haru leaning against the railing at the top of the stairs between their houses.

Haru heard Makoto's door open and close but didn't look his way. He wanted to pretend that he was calm and collected, utterly unbothered by their new routine, when in reality it was eating him away from the inside out. Haru could feel his sanity wearing thinner at the seams with each passing day, but he wasn't one to get into emotional talks. That was Makoto's realm. Makoto started those conversations and, honestly, did most of the talking during them. And since he clearly wasn't in the mood to have one, Haru wasn't either.

"Ohayu, Haru." Makoto greeted as he ascended the stairs, a slight glint of surprise in his eyes.

Haru inclined his head slightly in response and pushed off the railing. He fell into step easily beside Makoto and stared off at the ocean. He wasn't really listening-he wasn't listening at all, in fact-but he assumed Makoto was chattering away beside him like usual. Instead, he was trying not to think about the way they stepped perfectly in sync with each other, despite the discrepancy in their leg lengths. He was trying not to think about the fact that Makoto was walking an extra foot away from him-not to think about the fact that he would literally have to reach to touch Makoto now if he wanted to.

Not that he wanted to.

Not that it mattered.

Instead, he focused all of his energy on the sparkling ocean and ignoring the sinking feeling in his gut.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Their entire day of classes passed and Makoto didn't glance at Haru once. He didn't scold Haru for not taking notes. He didn't interact with Haru at all.

When the end of the day came, Haru darted out of his classroom and straight to the pool. He didn't look for Makoto, didn't tell him where he was going, nothing. He just darted. His feelings were beginning to suffocate him and it was a feeling he didn't know how to handle. In his mind, the only thing that could cure it was the water.

He stripped in record time and dove into the water, relishing in the cold bite of the water against his skin. The slight sting was a break from the other pain he had been feeling-the internal pain that he couldn't explain. Haru swam laps in the pool-something he rarely did-in an attempt to exhaust himself, hoping it would exhaust his mind.

And yet, when he surfaced from the water, Makoto was there, waiting patiently next to the pool with a book in his lap.

Frustrated, Haru ducked back under the water and swam more laps. He swam until the sun was just beginning to kiss the horizon, the colors of the sunset painting the sky for them. His body was tired, but his mind was not. Still, he knew he couldn't stay in the pool all day. He knew that because Makoto had recited it to him nearly every day for their entire lives.

Every day but today.

Haru said nothing as he toweled off and headed home.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The next day, Rei and Nagisa joined them for lunch on the roof. Haru never minded their presence but today he found himself downright thankful for it. He was running out of sanity and didn't think he could be alone with Makoto for another awkward lunch.

There are only so many ways Haru can rearrange the food in his lunch without eating it and he feared he was reaching that limit. Normally, Makoto would notice that he wasn't eating. Normally, without even asking, Makoto would sense what was wrong and would know what to do. Normally, Haru wouldn't have to think about what Makoto would do. He missed normally.

"Ne, Haru-chan?" Nagisa nudged Haru's knee with his own. "You seem more out of it than usual."

Haru waited, expecting Makoto to interject with an explanation before realizing that he had to speak for himself. "Just have something on my mind."

"Share it with us! We can help! That's what friends are for!" Nagisa boasted, but Haru turned his head away.

Rei-kind, sensible Rei-jumped in then, "Nagisa, he doesn't have to share everything with us. If he needs our help, he'll ask for it."

Unfortunately, though predictably, Nagisa was not to be deterred. "Mako-chan, what is going on with Haru-chan? Should we be worried?"

For the first time in what felt like ages-at this point it had to be ages, Haru reasoned- Haru felt the familiar weight of Makoto's eyes on his back. Without even looking he could picture the expression on Makoto's face; downtilt of his lips and eyebrows crinkled as he scoured Haru for a reason for his behavior. Normally, Haru thought, and then cut himself off before he could even finish it. He was done thinking about normally. He had a new normal now, and he needed to get used to it.

He waited silently, staring his Mackerel down with a fierce expression, for Makoto to make something up. Or to admit he didn't know. Anything. Anything to break the silence that was stretching on forever and suffocating him.

"Haru?" Makoto said, finally. His voice was soft, a gruff whisper reaching out only for Haru. How long had it been since he had heard his name said like that? Why did he care?

Instead of responding, Haru pushed off the ground and walked down the stairs. He left his lunch sitting on the roof behind him and missed the way Makoto's hand had just been hovering over his shoulder before he stood up.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Space is the only thing Haru wants by the end of the day but he's surprisingly limited in that. He can't think of a single place he could where Makoto wouldn't know to look for him. Even the place he thinks is most unexpected, Makoto would know. They knew each other too well. Or, they used to. But Makoto has started behaving this strange way and Haru has no idea why.

Haru decides to go to the ocean, knowing it's an easy place to find him if Makoto decides to look for him. It'll be the second place he looks. The school pool, the ocean and then his bathtub last. He figured it was only a matter of time before Makoto showed up and he relished the time as much as he could.

Sure enough, not too long after he arrived, a backpack was dropped to the ground next to him. He didn't turn to look at Makoto as he sat down next to him. He didn't spare him a greeting, either.

Silence stretched between them but Haru refused to break it. If there was one thing that could be said about him, it was that he was stubborn. This stubbornness was part of the reason that only Makoto truly understood him. Only Makoto was patient enough and forgiving enough to look past all the stubborn moments and get to what was underneath it all.

An ache opened up in Haru's chest at the thought and the fear that he was losing his best friend threatened to swallow him whole.

"Haru," Makoto began, his voice in that rough whisper from earlier in the day. Haru wanted to get up and leave again, but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't avoid this forever. Instead, he steeled himself against whatever was about to come. "I'm sorry. I promise, it isn't because of you."

Swallowing against the knot in his throat, "What isn't?"

"My pulling away."

So it was intentional, Haru realized. In his heart, he had known it was intentional. It had to be. Because Makoto's touch and concern was unconscious. It was ingrained in him, in their friendship. The only way for that to go away would be for him to intentionally take it away. Still, hearing it confirmed stung.

"Then why?"

Makoto paused, and Haru allowed himself to look over at his best friend. Makoto's green eyes were fixated on the ocean, a distant look in them. Haru recognized that look but, more so, he recognized the conflict in Makoto's eyes. "It was becoming too hard for me. The closeness. The constantly together. All of it. I do so many things not because I like them-even though I do!-but because I want to be with you. So much of my life cycles around you."

Haru's heart dropped further into his stomach with every word.

"And I don't mean that negatively! If I could have it my way, it would never change. I'd let you be the center of my life forever, if I could."

Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Haru squeaked out a few words. "And why can't you?"

Surprise flashed across Makoto's face then. Genuine surprise. "Do-do you want me to?"

"Well, you're the center of my life and I didn't plan on changing that anytime soon." Haru answered, hoping he sounded nonchalant.

Makoto stared at him, really looked deep at his expression, trying to read into what he was saying, looking for a crack. But there was none and Haru knew that with certainty because he had told the truth. His life had always revolved around Makoto and he liked it that way. He liked knowing Makoto would be there to remember his lunch when he forgot it or to pull him out of the way of a pothole in the road he hadn't noticed. He had gotten this far in life, sure, but that was because he had Makoto. He didn't think he could have gotten here without him and he certainly didn't want to go forward without him.

Suddenly Makoto laughed-really laughed. Haru was surprised but relieved at the reaction. The smile on his friend's face made him feel better. But what really pushed it over the edge was when Makoto reached out and tousled Haru's hair.

"Haru- Oh, Haru, this is just a ridiculous misunderstanding. It's my fault! I thought you wanted distance from me and I was trying to give it to you!"

"Why would I ever want distance from you?"

"You've been so upset lately and nothing I was doing was working. When I started to pull away, you pulled away too and I thought that was what you wanted. I thought-"

"I thought that was what you wanted." Haru replied.

Makoto looked at him and laughed miserably. "Not very good friends if we can't even read each other, huh?"

"It happens," Haru replied, feeling like the reasonable one for once. "Just promise me that you'll never do that again. I always want you around."

"I promise."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Haru had hoped that things would go back to normal after their talk, but they didn't. Well, they did. But they didn't. Makoto was back to all the little touches he always did; his hand hovering at Haru's low back as they walked through a crowd or their fingers grazing as Makoto passes Haru a set of notes that he knows Haru didn't take in class. But it didn't feel like it did before. It almost felt forced.

Finding himself more frustrated than ever, Haru decided he couldn't take it anymore. On their walk home that day he stopped dead and turned to face his best friend. "Makoto," He said. Makoto looked at him. "What is it?"

He could see Makoto considering a lie, could see it forming in his mind and he could see the moment Makoto registered his expression and let the lie die. Haru would know if he lied again. After all, he had detected this one, hadn't he?

Makoto answered his question with a question, "Why do our lives circle around each other, Haru?"

Stunned, Haru didn't answer. He wasn't sure how he would answer. They had always circled around each other, that was the only life he had known. Makoto had been more of a constant in his life than his own parents. He couldn't imagine a life where Makoto wasn't there by his side every single day. That was just how their life was supposed to go. How do you describe something that's just meant to be?

"I know what you're thinking," Makoto says after a moment and Haru doesn't try to deny it. He's certain that Makoto does, in fact, know exactly what he's thinking. He always does. "But what does meant to be mean, Haru? Meant to be what?"

Green eyes meet blue and this time, Haru didn't turn away. This time, he searched Makoto's expression and scrutinized his eyes for an idea as to the train of thought he was following and he found it. Of course, he realized, Makoto was thinking of more. Because that's what meant to be is, isn't it? Meant to be more, meant to be something, together.

Perhaps he should have been surprised. He probably should have realized it sooner. Instead, he just felt a sort of calmness. The same kind he felt when he got out of the pool only to have Makoto hand him a towel that wasn't his because he had forgotten his and somehow Makoto had known and brough and extra. Somehow Makoto always knew. He was always there, completing Haru's life-completing Haru himself.

"So let's do it," Haru says and Makoto's mouth twists into a wry smile, "the whole thing, you and me."

"Just like that?" Makoto asks.

"Just like that," Haru confirms. "Why, would you have it any differently?"

"I don't know," Makoto muses as they take off again. He smiles openly at Haru and this time, the smile feels real. "I could go for an extravagant declaration of love."

Haru scoffs, but smiles to himself nonetheless. Instead, he reaches out and slides his fingers through Makoto's, locking their hands together. Makoto squeezes back gently and the knot of dread that had been forming in Haru's stomach for days now unties. He understands where Makoto was coming from and how he was afraid Haru might take it badly. He understands that Makoto didn't want to push him and he was grateful for that, even if it meant days of distress.

"How about this," Haru says as they walk hand-in-hand back towards their houses. "You do one first, and I'll do one second."

"Don't offer something you aren't willing to deliver!" Makoto laughs, pulling Haru closer to his side. They bump shoulders, hands interlocked, and Haru's skin comes alive. Something about the touch of Makoto's skin felt entirely new-and exciting-to him and he looked forward to getting to know these new touches and these new feelings.

As the finished the distance to their house, Haru found himself thinking about how easy everything was with Makoto. And how easy they had moved forward in their relationship. And he was grateful to have been paired with someone who was always reaching out for him, just waiting for him to reach back.