And now, for one of the most annoying clichés of all…

AIM/MSN/YAHOO, which I am renaming YAIMSN!

These drive me absolutely I-N-S-A-N-E. Ridiculously overused and not at all valid in any way, shape or form. So now, its bashing time has cometh!

BRING IT ON, FLAMERS! Your flames will be used to blow up your computers with a rocket which has Jake tied to it!

Love you!

Disclaimer: I wish, I wish, I was, a fish. I wish, I wish, I was a Stephenie Meyer fish, but alas, whishes never come true –le sob—

YAIMSN

VampireVolvo has signed on

PsychicVampire has signed on

Iambellahas signed on

BuffVampireDude has signed on

Iambella: Wow, totally unobvious sn's guys!

VampireVolvo: What are these "sn"s of which you speak? Because even though I have lived for 100 years and can't sleep, I have never used (insert name of screenname service here).

PsychicVampire: Totally, and we, like totally, like, have never even used this before and, like, totally do not, like, have, like, obvious names!

BuffVampireDude: Yeah, it's Emmett, and I'm going to act like a total crap-for-brains like I do in all these fics!I'll go call the Volturi!

VampireVolvo: NO YOU DON'T!

VampireVolvo has, even though he has never used YAIMSN before, magically modified his log-off thing to say he is going to kill Emmett now.

Iammike has signed on

Iammike: Wow, cool names! I totally don't get the vampire reference even though it's screamingly obvious because I am a weak and pathetic human!

Iammike: Bella, will you marry me?

Iambella has also magically modified her YAIMSN log-off to say she is running away, even though if she had had YAIMSN before now, Edward would have known about it and gotten one too.

PsychicVampire: This is like, so cool to use even though we all have super vampire hearing and live in the same house!

Iammike has logged-off to woo Bella (yet another magic modification)

PsychicVampire has logged-off to drag Bella on a shopping spree (yes, another modification)

WHOO! That was fun. Again, I apologize for Alice's Valley-girl-ness, but it was needed for entertainment purposes. So anyway, flame me all you want – I will wipe out your computers (and Jake) with a fiery blast!

R&R, my loveys!

ELISE (Mallory is temporarily in therapy after an incident involving a squirrel, my cross country coach, and some pinecones)