A/N: Feel free to skip this if it doesn't apply to you but in case you didn't feel in the right place to read the previous chapter, here's what happened:

Draco and Hermione were having issues and he was frustrated that she still wouldn't tell him about being raped. He tells her that he'll wait until she's ready to talk about it. Hermione and Draco go to the Great Hall to eat and she sees Harry there. The more she thinks about it, the more she believes that Harry was the second person at the scene of her rape. She screams at him and becomes conflicted and upset as Draco pulls her out of the Great Hall and tries to console her. She tells Draco that she wants to go to her dormitory to nap but she ends up self-harming instead out of the emotional pain she cannot keep to herself. Afterwards, she ends up doing some homework and then goes down to the Great Hall for dinner and keeps her self injury secret from Draco. Hermione brings up Christmas and Draco feels awkward for a reason he doesn't really say. Hermione tells Draco about her suspicions of Harry being at the scene of the rape but Draco doubts her. He gets into another argument with Hermione about what she plans on doing if it is Harry and she compares him to Ron, which upsets him. They apologize and agree to go to Hogsmeade for a drink.

Sorry that was so long. I just really don't want my readers to read a chapter if they might find it triggering. I know that sometimes my own chapters trigger me so I appreciate warnings as well. I will do this with this next chapter as well (but I'll try to shorten it a bit more if I can). On that note: Beware. There is another bout of self injury in this chapter. Please read at your own risk.


Chapter Nine: Surrender

. . . .

"Think of it this way, after this year you'll be graduating and then you'll be free of all this… drama and chaos," Draco replied as he took a drink of his butterbeer.

Hermione knew he was trying to be reassuring but it wasn't working and it was actually making her feel worse about the whole situation. It wouldn't be over after graduation if she told the Headmaster or any of the professors about Ron raping her. She dreaded what life would be like once they were out. Maybe she could move somewhere better and escape the horrors at the school, and perhaps even Ron himself.

She smiled weakly and nodded, not wanting Draco to think his reassurance went ignored. "Yeah, you're right. I just wish this year would go faster."

He took a long drink now and looked around the Leaky Cauldron before he sighed and looked down into his glass gloomily. "Me too."

Hermione looked up at him and bit her lip nervously. "Did… I say something wrong?"

Draco silently shook his head and sighed again, feeling impatient and angry as he thought about her eagerness to graduate. He finished his butterbeer, wishing that he had ordered a firewhiskey instead.

She could sense the rising tension between them and she knew that she had done something wrong, as usual. "What's going on, Draco? Come on, talk to me."

He slammed his glass down hard and he leaned closer to her, fire in his stormy grey eyes. "Fine, I'll talk to you, Hermione! I've tried very hard to be happy for you when you are and I've tried hard to be patient until you can tell me why you're so fucking eager to get away from Ron and everything else! I hate that you're keeping something from me, especially when it's eating you up inside! I'm just… sick of not being in on your little inside joke and I can't stand you're random outbursts in the middle of breakfast! You need to tell me what the fuck is going on inside your head, Hermione!"

She felt like he had just slapped her. Where was all this coming from? He had seemed to be alright with waiting until she was ready. Hermione shook her head in disbelief and felt her own frustrations rise up inside her. "I knew it… I knew this was going to happen!"

She rose from the table and stormed out of the pub, feeling the brisk cold hit her face hard but not really caring that it was. Hermione felt her tears running down her cheeks and freezing slightly, ignoring the footsteps that were following her.

"Hermione! That's all you keep on doing, isn't it? Just walking away from me the minute I have a problem with something!"

She glanced back and glared at him. "Why do you think that is?"

Draco's mouth spoke before it could reach his brain. "You can't stop putting the spotlight on you! You're selfish and all you think about is yourself! You just love running away from whatever I call you out on!"

Hermione stopped and turned around, her tears rushing at this point as his words stung her heart. "I'm selfish…? I'm not telling you something because I feel selfish, Draco! If I told you this thing, then I believe that I'd be selfish and appear attention-seeking! If I don't tell you something, then I'm selfish, and if I do, I'm still selfish…. I can't win with you, Draco. I can't believe that you'd say something like that when you're the one who's being selfish! You just embarrassed me in front of everyone in there with your own outburst because you hate that I'm keeping this from you!"

This seemed to stop Draco from continuing to crucify her but the look in his face was one that reminded her all too much of Ron when he was angry. "Draco, I don't want to… make you think that I'm leading you on if you're expecting us to get together…. I can't do it. I-I can't do it if you're going to be like this," she spoke sadly, feeling her stomach knot up.

"You couldn't go one day without me around before you get hurt again. He's going to keep hurting you if I'm not there to protect you," Draco said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Hermione wiped away her cold tears and took a deep breath before looking at him. "What's the difference if he physically hurts me if you're the one who is emotionally hurting me? Either way I'm still being hurt."

She searched his eyes and waited for his reply but none came, and she took this opportunity to start back up to the castle before he could catch up with her again. As dangerous as she knew that it might be without Draco around, she'd settle for physical pain than emotional right now. She had no emotional connection to Ron so he couldn't hurt her that badly; at least physical pain she could deal with.

Hermione made it into the castle and then up to the warm common room where she took her coat off. She tried to make it into the girls' dormitory without being seen, but no such luck as Ginny noticed her by the door in the common room.

"Hermione, you're back early…"

She made an attempt to clear her throat so it didn't sound like she was upset or anything. "Umm… yeah, it was too cold so… we decided to come back."

Ginny wasn't going to buy it so easily and when she finally met Hermione's eyes, she found that her inclination was right. She walked over to her friend and placed her hands on Hermione's shoulders gently.

"What happened? Did he hurt you?"

Hermione shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair before she forced Ginny off of her. "I'm fine. He's fine. Just… leave me alone right now, Gin… please." She finally entered the dormitory and hurried over to her trunk and grabbed her bag before entering the bathroom and locking it.

Taking a deep breath and exhaling, Hermione rummaged through the bag until she found her razor blade that she had taken out of the actual razor itself and then sat down on the closed toilet seat. She rolled her sleeve up to where the last cut was made and then dug into her skin again, letting the few moments of pain take over her but also made sure that she wasn't cutting too deep either. Here she was, alone again because of not only her temper, but Draco's temper as well. This time, it hadn't only been her fault; Draco as to blame for this little break up again too.

She made another cut on her forearm for good measure, enjoying not having to think about hardly anything at all. She didn't feel the pressure to tell Draco anything for the moment. Hermione was free to have her own thoughts of enjoying this being her last year. She didn't have to censor her thoughts for these few peaceful moments.

Hermione reached over and grabbed a washcloth and applied pressure to her fresh cuts with it to cease the bleeding. She was aware that what she was doing might be considered self-destructive, but she couldn't talk about what happened yet. She had to cope somehow, and inflicting this pain on herself was her way of coping.

When it had finally stopped, she applied a small bandage on the newer cuts in case they decided to continue bleeding and then rolled her shirt sleeve down to cover them, and then took the wand out of her boot and aimed it at the bloody washcloth.

"Scourgify!" Hermione whispered so no one outside could hear it. She watched as the washcloth became clean again and then placed it on the sink where it had been earlier. She threw the razor in her bag and then walked out of the bathroom with it, seeing the odd look on Ginny's face but choosing to ignore it.

"What were you doing with your school bag in the bathroom?"

"It's not just… my schoolbag, Ginny. It has personal things in it too," she answered resentfully as she then sat on her bed and pulled out her books to catch up in her classes.

"What were you doing in there, Hermione?"

She looked at her in disbelief and felt like she was asking her a personal hygienic question, even though she obviously wasn't. Hermione was feeling her defensives kick into high gear. "What do you think I was doing? Why are you in here? Weren't you studying in the common room?"

Ginny looked deflated now and relaxed on her bed. "I wasn't comfortable. I decided to come in here," she replied in a soft voice.

"Good, then study and leave me alone." Hermione opened her book and began to read the chapter, already knowing most of this information but not wanting to meet Ginny's eyes.

The two remained silent, much to her relief, for an hour and a half when Hermione noticed that Ginny had finally gone to sleep and she was the only one awake in the dormitory amongst the other girls. She sighed, knowing that she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight so she put her books into her bag, and started quietly out of the dormitory, the common room and made her way stealthily towards the library.

It wasn't long until she heard footsteps making their way towards her at that moment and she began wondering if Ron was on a timer, knowing where she was at all times. She made a last minute decision to go inside a classroom and locked it from the inside before she held her breath, hearing the footsteps eventually stop right in front of the door.

"Alohomora!"

Hermione ran into a nearby closet in the classroom quietly and watched him come inside the room, looking around and then setting his eyes right on her in the closet.

She whimpered when she saw Ron coming straight at her, throwing open the doors and laughing viciously before she felt him grab her hair and throw her out of the closet.

"Hermione! Fancy seeing you here at this time of night!"

She felt herself shaking and an overwhelming sense of hopelessness overcome her when her body hit the cold floor. Hermione turned herself over and looked up at him, already giving up any chance of escaping him.

"H-How did you find m-me…?"

Ron pulled out what she knew to be the Marauder's Map and her heart dropped into the depths of her stomach, finally knowing why he always knew where she was. Seeing the Marauder's Map in his hands made her know now that there was no way she could escape from him in the castle or on its grounds. She watched him shove it in his pocket and then he firmly grabbed her arm and made her stand up just before Ron backhanded her so hard, she fell on the floor.

"Oh come on, love! I know that you're not one to take this laying down!"

Hermione felt blood trickling down her mouth and chin but in some sick way, knew that this still wasn't as bad for her as Draco's emotional abuse. Even though Ron always made an effort to drop her self esteem down a couple thousand notches, she had learned to ignore them as best as she could but with Draco, he meant more to her than anyone else so naturally, his words hurt her more.

"P-Please… please don't r-rape me again…"

Ron knelt down beside her and looked down at her curiously. "Well… I hadn't planned to this time, but what else did you have in mind?"

Hermione couldn't believe she was going to do this, but she knew that she couldn't keep living in fear of Ron jumping out of the shadows and hurting her anymore. It was driving her crazy. She couldn't go back to Draco and have him say how he told her so that she would be hurt again by Ron's hands. She felt trapped with no real great options left.

"I-I'll be with you a-again… I-I'll…be your girlfriend again, like we used to be," Hermione attempted to persuade him as her lip burned with pain.

He seemed to think about this and then smiled a smile she almost recognized as her old friend's smile when they were younger. Almost.

"That's all I've wanted all along, Hermione. All I wanted was you back with me," Ron spoke as if their relationship had been a lovely one but had just taken a wrong turn somewhere. It almost made her nauseous that he was talking so calmly like this, like he never, ever hit her at all.

She took a deep breath and nodded, figuring it was safer to play along with his sick mind games. Hermione slowly forced herself to sit up and then saw Ron stand before offering a hand to her.

She looked at his hand that had a bit of her blood and hair on it and thought for a moment she might actually be sick right here and now, but she pulled herself together and took it anyway before she stood up and grabbed her bag.

"So… umm… back to your dormitory now?"

Ron surprisingly gently placed his hands on her waist and leaned in, kissing her lips before he took her hand and lead her out of the classroom, most likely feeling pleasantly pleased with himself.

OoOoOo

The next morning as Hermione laid next to Ron in his four poster bed, she was feeling more scared than she ever had before but at the same time, she felt a sense of relief. The one thing she could depend on as Ron's girlfriend was that for some unknown reason, she didn't have to be afraid of him raping her. It was almost like because she was with him, the excitement of raping Hermione was gone for him since he was able to have her by his side all the time as his girlfriend. Unfortunately, the excitement of physically abusing her was still there.

She took in his cologne and was partly relieved that she still had half of her clothes still in his trunk from the last time she had been with him so she wouldn't have to go back to the dormitory and face Ginny as she packed. As terrible as this situation was, it gave her some stability in their sad relationship. It wasn't a surprise when Ron went off on her and she knew what to expect from him.

She got out of bed and grabbed her clothes from his trunk before she walked into the bathroom and began to shower. The other guys in the dormitory were so used to having her in there and using their bathroom that they didn't really think anything of it. Hermione also figured that it was partly because they were afraid of Ron after seeing what he was capable of doing.

"Morning, love!"

Hermione had just rinsed her hair when she heard Ron's voice from outside the door greet her.

"Good morning, Ron," she called back to him, almost laughing at hearing herself. "Did you sleep well?"

"I slept great! Are you almost done? I want to have some coffee before our first class…"

Even though it seemed like a plain question, she was aware that it insinuated more. It meant that if she didn't hurry up, he was going to force her out of the dorm and into the Great Hall, nearly stark naked, whether she liked it or not.

"Yes! I'm almost done! Can you give me a few more minutes?"

"Alright, Mia… I'll get changed while you finish up!"

Hermione quickly washed her body, shut the water off, got out, dried herself, dried her hair and was just finishing getting her bra and underwear on when Ron opened the door.

"How long does it take you to shower and changed? You should've woken up earlier if you wanted to take so damn long," Ron said coldly, already showing his true colors, to no surprise of Hermione's.

"I know, I'm hurrying…" she replied, quickly pulling her shirt over her head but not quickly enough.

Ron grabbed her forearm where her cuts still ached, unbeknownst to Ron, and then bent her arm at an awkward angle, making her cry out in pain. He forced her back into the bathroom and closed the door, just realizing that a few of the other guys were still sleeping but now were awake.

"Shut the fuck up!" He swore in a harsh whisper before suddenly slapping her across the face.

Hermione swallowed back a cry of pain and whimpered. "P-Please let g-go… please…"

He grabbed her face with his free hand and held it tightly, as if hoping that her jaw would just break apart at that precise moment before he did let her arm go. "Get dressed. Now."

She didn't need to be told again as she grabbed her school skirt and pulled it on before she put on her scarlet and gold knee socks and then her shoes. Hermione managed to brush her messy hair just before Ron pushed her out of the bathroom, taking her pajama clothes and throwing them on his bed before he shoved her out of the dormitory and made their way to the Great Hall.

As they walked, Ron forced his hand in hers and then leaned into whisper in her ear. "You'll sit at our table, next to me, at all meals. No more screwing around with Draco and his little fucking pals. You'll stay by my side, even if you're done eating. You'll wait for me and then we'll go to class together. You will not go out of my sight. You'll go everywhere I go unless I tell you differently. Do you understand?"

Hermione nodded out of habit and then as they entered the Great Hall and walked over to the Gryffindor table, she felt all eyes on the pair of them. She felt her face heat up, mentally imagining what they were all thinking. She didn't dare look across the Hall at Draco, whom she was sure was staring at her too. Hermione sat down beside Ron and was about to pour herself a cup of coffee when he quickly took the pitcher of coffee and poured it for her. She took a sip and kept her eyes down as Ron buttered a couple pieces of wheat toast for her and placed it on her plate.

Who needed independence when she was forced to be dependent on him? This wasn't a situation that Hermione was thoroughly enjoying, but she couldn't do anything else except this right now. She was determined though that she was going to somehow get Ron expelled from the school, deciding that she would figure out what to do after she graduated when the time came.

"Are you two back together now then?" Hermione heard Ginny ask quietly, but aiming the question to Ron, knowing that he would answer for her.

"Yup, we are. We decided that this was just the best thing for the both of us," he said easily, calmly.

She could feel Ginny's eyes on her as she nibbled her wheat toast but didn't look at her, afraid that she might be tempted to also look at Draco.

"Quidditch game today," Hermione heard Luna say airily, as if she hadn't heard what they were currently discussing. "I really hope we win today."

Luna's light voice made Hermione feel somewhat normal, feel like she still had friends even if Ron didn't permit it. The table, excluding Hermione, talked until the first class bell rang and then Ron forced her to stand and she only had just enough time to grab her bag before he started dragging her off to their first class of Divination.