"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so." -David Grayson-

The ninth chapter is here. Hope you...er, enjoy it ;)


Rukia looked at the servant. "Kuchiki-taichou is unwell. He is resting in the study. He has requested no one disturb him there."

Impossible. Byakuya was sick?? Did his injury take a toll on his health?? As usual, Byakuya had continued avoiding her over the past few days. But this time, Rukia felt more worried than sad, because without seeing Byakuya, she had no way to know if he was recuperating from his injury well. And now, he was unwell? What did that mean?

Ginrei did not react to the news, but continue eating.

Rukia looked down at her food, chewing her lip. Then she decided on it.

She quickly finished her food, as gracefully as she could. She turned to Lord Ginrei, "Grandfather, may I be excused?"

Ginrei just nodded, putting more food into his mouth.

"Yoji, can you take me to the Kuchiki herbal stores?" Rukia addressed the servant (the "blabber", she addressed him secretly) who had now become a close attendant of hers.

As Rukia followed Yoji down the hall, Ginrei smiled to himself.


Rukia spent the next hour sorting through the herbs in the dark store. 'If the Kuchiki noble house ever ran out of money, they could definitely develop a booming business in selling medicines,' Rukia thought. The racks were stocked full of medicines, herbs, and all sorts of health goodies as Rukia's eyes sorted them out. Natural remedies for strength, for vitality (no!), for general health, for toxins. She took the ones she thought would be relevant and settled down to brew them.

It was hard work, but Rukia did not mind. Sweat dotted her forehead as she fanned the pot. This would probably be good for him, help him get back on track.

After another hour of fanning and Yoji's continuous suggestions and offers to help, a bowl of dark herbal soup sat on the tray as Rukia walked to the study. As Yoji was too excited, Rukia had given him the task of carrying the bowl of herbal soup. At least it would distract him from talking.

She knocked softly once, and entered. She did not wait for his call, as he might be sleeping. She went in and saw Byakuya.

He wasn't resting. He wasn't even sitting. He was standing, and polishing his Zanpakutou rather vigorously.

Full of vigor. Full of energy. His wound had healed completely. He wasn't sick.


Byakuya looked up in surprise as the door opened. His eyes widened when he saw Rukia. She was standing with the servant who had blurted out the details about the birthday gift he had gotten for her. A bowl of something hot was wafting steam on the tray in the man's hands.

She caught me.

"Kuchiki-taichou, how are you?" the servant bowed low, completely oblivious to Byakuya's complete well-being. "Rukia-san has just brewed some herbal goodness for you. She spent a whole two hours on it after dinner!"

Byakuya looked at Rukia.

She did not budge or look away but her mouth opened.

"Yoji, please take the soup back to the kitchen. Kuchiki-taichou will drink it later."

Yoji looked between husband and wife, and withdrew with the soup and a thousand questions.

Rukia turned her back and walked back to the bedroom. Without another word, Byakuya swept after her.


Rukia turned to the silent Byakuya, who had closed the bedroom door behind him and who was now staring at her.

She looked at him angrily, hating the way his handsome face looked in all its perfection, hated the way his features are never moved with emotion. Rukia had never shown her anger to Byakuya before. She had, in the past, been frustrated and angry with him but had chose to smother it when she was in front of him.

"So, you weren't sick," she said, her voice shaking with anger. Byakuya said nothing.

"If I disgust you so much, you could at least order me out of your room! So you can go back to your room in peace, and not put up in the study! So I can go back to mine. So I don't need to sit round in your room, reminded about YOU, and wonder what the hell I did wrong!"

She was breaking. Breaking right in front of him. And his face still remained impassive. Rukia hated that. Hated him. Hated everything about him.

"If you regretted kissing me, just tell me so. Tell me things are not going to change. Tell me straight, and save us both the trouble! Then you can stop avoiding me, Nii-sama!!" She shouted the last word, as angry tears began to cloud her vision.

She pushed past him roughly and ran for the door, not caring anymore if she was not gentle, if she was rough or brash. She just wanted to get away from him, before her tears started spilling over, before he saw her in this vulnerable and pathetic state. She was barely two steps away from the door when she saw a flash and Byakuya appeared flawlessly in front of her, blocking her exit.

"Did I say you could leave?"

"Out of my way!" Rukia shouted, not bothering to keep her voice low.

Byakuya did not budge. He just stood there and looked at her.

Rukia was angry. She was so angry at Byakuya.

"You always think your word is the law. You don't want to come to dinner. Nobody's to disturb you. Don't enter your room. People have to follow what you say all the time! You go about as you please. You don't care if they are worried about you! You don't care if they're wondering! You don't care that they want to know what's going on with you! You don't care about them! You don't care about me."

Her face was flushed, and she was breathing hard. She had never scolded anyone like this, not even Renji or Ichigo. She did not care. And her tears had begun to spill over. She angrily wiped them away.

She pushed again past Byakuya, and he moved slightly sideways. For a moment, she thought he had let her through. But before she could reach for the door, one long arm shot out and grabbed her hand. Swfitly, he pushed her back against the wall, and pinned both her arms down with his.

Rukia's eyes widened in shock.

"Don't call me like that. It hurts." Byakuya said quietly, his eyes burning into hers, as she lay trapped against the wall.

"Yes, I'm trying to get as far from you as possible. Would you like me to be close to you? Like this?" He leaned in closer to a stiff Rukia.

"You shouldn't. Because you will get hurt." He was so close, Rukia felt his lips lightly brush hers as he spoke.

"Do you think I regret kissing you? If I regret, why do I find myself reliving that moment over and over again? If I regret, why do I feel like betraying Hisana whenever I touch you, whenever I want to?"

Rukia gasped. It was the first time he had ever mentioned Hisana like this in front of the both of them.

"If I regret, why do I feel like… like making love to you?"


Byakuya had never seen Rukia like this. She looked so severe. The next second, she had opened her mouth and let go of all her frustrations and pent-up anger. Her worries, her sadness. Byakuya took every blow at him, he knew he deserved it. And yet as he watched Rukia being like this, he couldn't help noticing she was so beautiful, even when she was angry. Her eyes, her hair, her mouth. When he saw the tears glistening in her eyes, he wanted to…

He had to get out of this room, before he did something to her. Something really bad.

But he couldn't. Because he wanted to tell her a lot of things. He wanted to tell her how it tormented him to be acting like he was right now. He wanted to tell her how he ached to touch her. He wanted to tell her he couldn't.

He didn't know what he was saying. He was getting much too close to her. He really should get out now. But her eyes were pulling him, hypnotizing him. He was…losing


Rukia did not know what to say. Her breath was threatening to leave her, she couldn't grasp any words.

"I-" she stuttered.

No sooner had she opened her mouth, Byakuya was kissing her.

He did not release her hands, but brought his face to hers and kissed her.

He pressed his lips against hers with an urgency she had never felt before, as his own body pressed against hers, the wall against her back. She could not move away. She did not even want to.

This kiss was different from the last time. It was passionate, desperate, wanting. It was so different from the soft and tentative ones they shared before, this one spoke of hours of longing and desire, wild flowers bursting into bloom the moment their lips touched.

Rukia wanted to hold Byakuya badly, but his hands were pinning hers to the wall in an iron grip. She opened her mouth to tell him, but it only gave a chance for his tongue to enter her mouth and finally twist around hers. She moaned in pleasure, as Byakuya's tongue continued its tantalizing exploration of her mouth.

She heard the flash and suddenly felt springy softness under her back. Byakuya had brought them to the bed. To be precise, he had used his flash steps. Now, he stared down at her with eyes filled with heated passion and want, matched only by her own. He freed her arms at last as he bent down to claim her lips once more.

Ruka moved her hands up Byakuya's body, up his chest, his shoulders and finally to his hair. She teased his kenseikan off and it fell away, letting Byakuya's hair loose. Neither of them cared. His hair was so soft, it practically flowed in her hands. Her fingers moved, threading his hair, as Byakuya groaned slightly. Then they slowly moved down to his face, to the hollow of his cheeks, as his mouth continued to dominate hers.

Slowly, he trailed his lips to her neck, below her earlobe, down her throat. Rukia made small noises of pleasure, as her hands around Byakuya trembled.

Byakuya stopped and looked up at her with meaningful eyes.

"Rukia, tell me to stop and I will," He breathed hard, his voice an urgent whisper. "Because if you don't, you won't be able to stop me later." It would be agonizing to stop now, but he doubted he would have any self-control left if this progressed.

He should stop. He really should. But he didn't want to. He wanted Rukia. Wanted to make Rukia his. And the only way he would stop was if she told him to.

"Rukia." He pressed urgently.

"Don't…" she said breathlessly, before pulling him down for another mind-blowing kiss.

Her hands moved of their own accord, down to the knot tying his robes together. She fumbled with them, trying to make them loosen off. Byakuya's hands came then, stopping her, slowly guiding her through it. The knot came undone in her hands. Fingers trembling, she pushed the robes back off Byakuya's shoulders, as he slid off them easily.

Rukia looked up at Byakuya, and she felt her face turn red. It was the first time she had seen Byakuya naked like this, and so close to her. Byakuya's body was…there was no word for it, just like everything about himself, it was perfect. He was lean, not overly muscular and stout like those bodybuilders Rukia had seen in human world. Yet as he held her tight, she felt the muscles in his arm tense and bunch up. His chest was hard, and like sculpted marble.

Byakuya reached for her robes, and began untying them. As he did, Rukia reached up and touched his chest softly. The touch of her hand on his own bare skin was like welcomed rain on a desert. He had been parched for too long. When she ran her hands across his chest, across his hard nipple, it was enough to send his emotions into a frenzy.

Rukia tried not to tremble when Byakuya undid her clothes. She felt safe with him, to be with him. She wanted their skins to be joined. But she couldn't stop turning even redder, when her clothes fell away. She felt very exposed and vulnerable, right before Byakuya as his eyes roved over her.

Sensing her discomfort, he bent down and kissed her once again. Telling her it was okay. It was fine. Telling her she was beautiful. The uncertainty was replaced quickly by passion and desire. He kissed her deeply and pressed her into the pillows.

He then leaned back and kissed her breast, stunning Rukia and making her gasp out. His tongue circled around her pink nipple, and his teeth nipped gently at the soft flesh. Rukia squirmed beneath him, letting out little moans of pleasure, calling out Byakuya's name. Her hands tug at Byakuya's hair, making him groan slightly. She felt her back arch, her body pressed into his, demanding much more than that.

Rukia, you have no idea how you are making me feel…

Rukia's body was reaching a climax. She couldn't think straight, seeing white lights in front of her eyes. Byakuya's mouth moved about her body, inflaming every area of skin he touched. Her chest, her stomach, her breast, her inner thighs. Her hands now gripped the sheets, as she struggled to keep her mind sane.


Byakuya wanted to know everything about Rukia. Every mark on her body, how her skin looked and tasted at every spot. He wanted to give as much pleasure to her as what he felt when she touched him, when her hands moved around his body, to his chest, to his hips, to his hardness. How much she aroused him. His desire was already throbbing hard.

"Rukia, I don't- I don't want to hurt you." Byakuya's face was above hers now, trying hard to contain the desire already threatening to make him explode.

She reached out one hand, and tenderly caressed his cheek. "It's okay."

Stay with me, Rukia.

Byakuya, please.

She cried out when he entered her. But Byakuya was gentle, he held her tenderly and kissed all her fears and uncertainty away. His mouth covered hers to smother her cries as he began to move. She clung to him, as her body began to move in response, and she began to derive the pleasure as he moved within her.

Be mine…

Soon, Rukia was meeting Byakuya with each thrust. Their breaths were coming out ragged, as they moved together. Their skin was slippery with sweat, but they continued to hold each other. They called each other's name desperately, trying to get enough, trembling as the wave built within them, as they rode it together to the ending crest. Their breaths were matched in rhythm now, as were their movements.

Rukia was making heavy groans of pleasure now, as her hands clawed at Byakuya's shoulders desperately. Byakuya kept one hand steady on Rukia but he himself was spiralling out of control. When they reached the climax, everything exploded.

In flashes of white.

In ecstasy.

In a blissful haze of completeness.

I'm yours.

Both bodies trembled together with the release. Rukia cried out, with Byakuya matching her an octave below.

They were spent, thoroughly.

Byakuya moved himself to Rukia's left before he collapsed next to her. They both turned to each other, trying to steady their breathing. Their eyes met, and slowly, something mutual passed between them.

Byakuya reached out with his hand and slowly pushed Rukia's hair from her sweaty forehead. He looked into her eyes, willing her to see what it was he wanted to tell her before opening his mouth and making the thing he had been denying all along a reality. "I love you, Rukia."

She smiled. "I love you, Byakuya." She whispered back.

Byakuya moved over to her, planting a gentle kiss on her nose before putting his arms round her as they both drifted off to sleep.


Rukia stirred slightly. She opened one bleary eye. There was no sunlight yet, but she heard a faint chirping sound. It was morning, very early morning. She turned and groped for the warm figure next to her. She only found tangled sheets on the bed.

"Byakuya?"


Byakuya?? Actually, I was going to put the next part after this but I finally decided to try a cliffhanger feel in this chapter ;)

I'm never going to be an erotic fiction writer!! It was so hard to write this...didn't really know how to do this properly...how to make it not so graphic but "climax-ish" at the same time...LOL :D so hope I did ok..

But I was nearly laughing when i saw antonia.c's review "...better than having them jump straight into bed". I was thinking "But they're gonna jump into bed in the next chapter"...well, at least there was a gap of more than a week in the story :)

I also want to do a shoutout here to Britt, you know who you are...thanks so much!! ;)

Please, please review/comment!!