Esparia's A/N: You know what's hard? Ages of Naruto characters that supposedly don't matter enough to be given an age. None of you will know the pains I went through to get some of these ages. None of you will know the in depth research and time I put into figuring out a logical timeline for Kishimoto's ninja world. Logic, Japanese school research, estimation, given information, and sheer amounts of insanity managed to let me give you a workable timeline that I planned to mess with anyway. And none of you will appreciate what I've done because I swear that I am going to post that timeline somewhere so everyone else doesn't have to worry about doing what I did. Enjoy.

Chapter Warnings: Some nervous villagers...yeah.

Original Ch 13: 03/01/15

Update: 03/04/17

Omake: 04/27/17

Chapter Eight

(Minion-san)

Uzumaki Naruto: 6th Year of the 7th Timeline, 13th Day of the 9th Month

Naruto's eyes widened, staring up at the young man. Though really, almost everyone was young when you reached a century in age. "It's you?"

"Do I know you?" Bemused black eyes regarded him. "I don't think we've met?."

Naruto dragged himself out of his stupor. He hadn't expected to come in contact with the man, ever. However, never let it be said that Naruto didn't take opportunities that came knocking at the door, or in this case, busting through the door.

Naruto tilted his head and squinted his eyes as if studying him; which he was but not the appearance, he was looking at the ninja's body language.

"We haven't. But, you probably know of me," Naruto said, the last part of his sentence came out quieter. He looked the man up and down before he declared, "you look like Sasuke-teme. 'cept without the poofy hair that sorta looks like a duck's rump or really bad bed head."

In the face of unfamiliar people, never give away information until they have proven themselves worthy of trust. Especially in a ninja village. A village of people who were trained to be deceitful. It was better to appear as innocent and naive as possible. Naruto knew he was no where near strong enough to defeat a powerful shinobi if things went wrong. He had enemies inside and outside the village, he had yet to place what this man was to him.

The Uchiha smiled kindly down at Naruto. "We're from the same clan. What's your name squirt?"

Naruto looked up at him in mock suspicion, calculating blue eyes searching black before he grinned and jabbed a finger to his chest. "Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto, future Hokage of the Konoha! What's your name Uchiha-san?"

"Uchiha Shisui." Shisui gave a mock formal bow. "A pleasure to meet you, future hokage."

Shisui wondered why the village jinchuriki was alone, in an abandoned sealing room, without a sign that his ANBU guards were nearby. It was concerning that he got this far out of the village without anyone noticing.

Naruto, noticing the physically older ninja's thinking, decided to interrupt any suspicions that could arise. "Thank you Shisui-san, for getting me out of my secret hideout. Haha! I haven't gotten around to fixing the door...and it closed...so...um, yeah."

"Not a problem, squirt. It's my duty as a shinobi of the leaf to look out for her citizens. So this is your secret hideout, huh?" Shisui made an exaggerated look around the room.

Naruto recognized the exaggeration as a way to let kids and civilians know that their things or place was being observed. It comforted clients and helped young ones feel noticed.

The room itself wasn't...impressive. Large, dark, and recently cleaned. A bit embarrassing to call a hideout, if Naruto was going to be brutally honest. But who needed embarrassment? It was only embarrassing if you let it be.

Naruto hesitantly walked closer to Shisui. He had always heard good things about the man, teen, but didn't know him personally.

Naruto decided to err on the side of caution. He didn't know if Shisui recognized the whole "the kunai sealed in the scroll does not make the scroll a kunai" concept for the jinchuriki. He probably did, Shisui was an ANBU after all; however that didn't necessarily mean Shisui would feel inclined to be friendly. Uchiha had a tendency to hold onto bitter grudges.

"Ne, Shisui-san. How did you find me?" Naruto asked when he was close enough to be polite, but far enough to dodge should the Uchiha decide to strike. It was purely instinct ingrained in years of living surrounded by spiteful villagers, unstable ninja, and strangely powerful enemies.

"I felt your chakra signature over here and decided to drop by," Shisui said. 'A very large signature that could've easily been an enemy jounin.'

"Oh," Naruto said and nodded sagely. "You must be a shinobi. Just like Uchiha-shinobi-san!"

"You got it, kiddo. Though, I'm not just any ninja. I'm the coolest and most awesome ninja of them all," Shisui said with a crooked smile.

Naruto didn't know how to respond to that. On one hand, he knew that Shisui was simply trying to make a "kid" feel at ease around him. On the other hand, it was rather awkward having that aimed at you when you've outlived the person by at about eighty five years.

Which left the two smiling a little to widely at each other, occasionally nodding, and shifting their weight in silence.

"So," Shisui finally decided to say. "What are you doing way out here by yourself? Alone?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Naruto deflected, narrowing his eyes jokingly. "You seem pretty suspicious just poppin' outta no where."

"Returning from a mission." Shisui humored, hoping to get some information himself. "Do you come here often?"

Naruto scuffed the ground with his shoe with a shrug. "Sometimes, when I need to think."

"Ah." Shisui nodded in understanding, he gestured to the room. "It's pretty clean for a five year old's secret hideout."

Naruto stomped his foot and crossed his arms indignantly. He knew he was short, but he wasn't that short...his growth spurt was just a little late. "I'm six! Besides, this place was icky before I cleaned it up. How can I make my super secret exclusive invite only club hideout cool if it has cobwebs 'n black stuff everywhere?"

Naruto had debated the idea of making a base for his "club", but an already made concrete room complete with special seals was like a free three-day all you can eat ramen buffet. It just needed furniture, some updated seals...and a new door. It was close enough to Konoha that he could safely man it while being far away enough not to be noticed by the ninja population.

Naruto had no idea he was making the Uchiha pity him. No, the only thing Naruto was thinking of at the time was that knowing Shisui was a perfect opportunity to gain influence into the Uchiha Massacre.

Naruto was fairly sure Shisui died sometime before the massacre. He also remembered a big fight for the young man's eyes; which were currently both safely in the dude's head. He would have to make sure Danzo didn't actually get the Uchiha's eye this time.

...besides, he really didn't want another crow stuffed down his throat just so he could safe guard another over powered thing. Do you know what it feels like to have a crow fly out of your throat? Weird. Like puking purple radioactive sentient hairballs weird. But in any case, the best way to keep track of someone was to make bonds.

Naruto gave Shisui a look before saying, "Since you've seen the super secret hideout, you'll have to be sworn to absolute secrecy. Otherwise I can't let you leave."

A smile worked its way up Shisui's face before he laid a hand over his heart. "I, Uchiha Shisui, give my word to never tell another soul about the super secret hideout without permission from Uzumaki Naruto."

Naruto nodded with a hand on his chin. "As club leader, I also have the power to invite whomever I want. Normal club members need permission from me before inviting. I hereby invite one Uchiha Shisui to join my club."

Without knowing what he was agreeing to, Shisui said, "I, Uchiha Shisui, accept Uzumaki Naruto's invite and join his super secret club."

Naruto stroked an imaginary beard before saying, "very well. Sign the contract and you'll be fully joined."

Running off to the pile of stuff, Naruto riffled through his bag and looked up at Shisui. "Ah, I don't have any scrolls..."

Shisui chucked a little. "A piece of paper would be fine."

Naruto pouted. "But Jiji does everything in scrolls."

Shisui sighed and pulled out a blank scroll from his pouch. It was going to become a sealing scroll, but he was notoriously weak against puppy eyes.

Naruto jumped up in excitement and pulled out a pen and began scribbling out an Uzumaki styled contract seal. Effective and unrecognizable to most.

Naruto proudly handed it to Shisui. "Sign below. You'll officially become a club member for life. Unless you defect and become a traitor, mental instability, or in the event that you become a zombie under the mind control of an evil villain. If that happens then your memories will be sealed away."

Shisui's mouth curled up a little, finding what he assumed was an imitation of the hokage amusing. He did wonder about the mind controlled zombie part.

Taking the pen, which almost seemed to pull at his chakra, Shisui signed his name.

Naruto grinned up at the Uchiha and said, "welcome, Uchiha Shisui. You can call me Naruto. In front of visitors and to outsiders you'll refer to me as the seventh Mukage instead of my name. It'd be like my awesome secret alias."

Shisui knew the boy was dead set on becoming the Hokage and thought the young Uzumaki's imagination was cute. What young shinobi-to-be didn't pretend to be a ninja at some point?

"As Mukage I will assign the missions to you, my awesome subordinate. As you rise in the ranks of my trust you will get harder missions to complete," Naruto said seriously.

Shisui nodded seriously, but a small smile betrayed him.

"You will also be privy to more top secret information that is only spoken of in a super secret meeting place. The club won't force you to go against your previous loyalties unless absolutely necessary."

Shisui suddenly got the feeling of impending danger, as if he had just stepped into a room that was far too quiet.

Shisui hummed. "I have a few questions about the club."

Naruto nodded and waited for him to continue.

"What kind of missions are we talking about? What top secret information? Why would we go against our 'loyalties'? What is the purpose of our club?" Shisui listed and waited for, what he hoped would be, a childish answer.

Naruto laughed a bit and scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Um, I haven't decided on any missions yet... The information is just stuff that'll help our club's epic goal. The loyalty thing is because I really don't want ta get ya in trouble. Like being late for dinner; that'd be bad. Oh, and our club is going to save the world from chaotic premature destruction. Really nothing that special."

"Chaotic premature destruction," Shisui echoed. "Care to elaborate?"

"I would, but it's super secret and we currently don't have a door. Which reminds me! Shisui-san, your first mission, should you choose to accept it, is a high D-Rank mission of fixing the hideout's door."

Shisui could his inner self face fault; he, an ANBU, was doing a D-Rank mission commissioned by a kid and not even being paid for it.

Naruto grinned at him. "You break it you fix it. Don't worry, though, I'll supervise of course. Can't have a confused minion running around."

Shisui let out a long suffering sigh and nodded. "Alright, but I have to stop by the Hokage's office to report. Hold onto my hand, we're going to shunshin."

Naruto's eyes sparked, gathered his stuff (except the cleaning supplies), and grabbed onto the offered hand before they disappeared. Naruto could tell Shisui's shunshin was different. It was perfectly smooth and without any "bumps", like taking long strides in one direction or another. Shisui truly was the master of teleporting.

They appeared in the waiting area. Shisui looked down at Naruto and said, "just wait out here, I'll be back soon."

Naruto nodded and hopped over to the chairs. He plopped down and watched the secretary watch him.

Exciting.

Uchiha Shisui: 15th Year of the 7th Timeline, 13th Day of the 9th Month

"Thank you Shisui-san," the Hokage said, "is there anything else you'd like to add unofficially to your report?"

"Hai, Hokage-sama." Shisui relaxed his stance slightly; not enough to be disrespectful but enough to show that he was discussing something personal with an authority figure. "It doesn't pertain to the given mission."

The Hokage inclined his head. "Proceed."

"I have made the acquaintance of one Uzumaki Naruto-" Shisui started before a loud and abrasive exclamation from outside the room made him pause.

"That's Number One Unpredictable Prankster, Future Hokage, Uzumaki Naruto-sama to you, Minion-kun!"

There was some faint yelling from the secretary and a few other sounds before Shisui continued, "uh, he has started a club and I was invited."

The Sandaime nodded, a smile stretched across his wizened face.

"He was very persuasive," Shisui added, "and he roped me into playing his games. He has insisted on me calling him the seventh Mu-"

"Minion-kun!" Naruto exclaimed as he burst through the door and jumped onto Shisui's back. "Club secrets must remain secret!"

The secretary came in panting , looking like she had dodged a few badly timed pranks to get to the office.

"I'm sorry," she huffed, "Hokage-sama. I couldn't...couldn't stop him."

Naruto pouted and exclaimed near Shisui's ear. "But they're talking about me!"

Shisui winced at the sheer volume from the boy before a severe whisper from the same boy muttered for only he to hear. "The walls have ears, Uchiha. Watch what you say."

Shisui stilled at Naruto's cool tone. The hyper active yet cautious kid from before had another side.

Shisui had previously guessed that the loudness was a mask of sorts, made to evade and pick out hostile people.

Naruto had the quieter, thinking side, in the room where Shisui found him. It was like he was being picked apart when Naruto looked at him. It had felt like another shinobi was sizing him up and trying to figure out what threat level he posed. However the boy had only shown sides of being friendly, if not justifiably cautious.

This side of the kid, though, was cold and almost hostile. Speaking in a tone that implied a very sharp mind that knew exactly what he was talking about and left no room for any form of argument.

Maybe it was the violent mood swing that could only be observed in the five year old's voice, his face didn't seem to give anything away or perhaps it was that the boy seemed to know there were others listening in on the conversations in the Hokage office. Either way, Shisui was surprised but hesitant to act on it. If anything, he was wary of what made Naruto wary.

"Naruto-kun, you've seemed to have made a new friend," the Hokage said, smiling at the boy who he felt like was an untouchable grandson. A grandson he had to tip toe around, because of politics. Hiruzen was pleased that Naruto had more friendly acquaintances in his life, but he couldn't help but worry about the fact they were all older then he was.

Ah, there was an irony to Hiruzen's worry that only you, lovely amazing readers, would understand.

"Yeah! Yeah! Minion-kun is my new club member and I'm gonna show him the ropes!" Naruto loudly declared.

Sarutobi chuckled. "Shisui-kun, you have permission to take the next few days off. Have fun in the new club."

Shisui recognized that the older man wanted him to keep Naruto company and was more or less giving him a relaxed vacation. Not that he was going to argue, his last mission was a little too much on the strange side.

"Yatta!" Naruto jumped down and fist pumped. "We're going to have a lot of fun! Come along minion."

Hiruzen laughed as one of his strongest and most loyal shinobi was dragged off to play. The look on the Uchiha's face was enough to make his day a little brighter. Now, if there was a way to make paper work disappear...perhaps he could ask his secretary to take some.

The secretary gave him a look and Hiruzen resigned himself to his work.

Naruto dragged the Uchiha down the street, heading towards a good carpentry store that would have what was needed to fix a nearly indestructible door.

Shisui was mentally flipping through everything Naruto had previously said and had done. Needless to say, Shisui came to the conclusion that the kid was hiding things and knew a great deal more than what he expressed. Some of what the kid was doing simply didn't line up right unless he took into account that the brat was hoarding secrets and had more personas than deep cover agent that couldn't separate work from personal life.

And to think he signed a possibly binding contract with mentioned brat. At least it was in gibberish so the likelihood of it actually holding any power was low...probably.

The duo were in and out of the store in close to no time, equipped with bolts, screws, handles, hinges, and oil. They stopped to buy stationary along with a fine brush and inkwell. When Shisui asked about it, Naruto merely grinned and said, "Patience, young grasshopper, is the key to never getting gray hair and successful shogi games against normal people. If you want to beat a Nara at shogi, you need to be unpredictable and quick."

Nope. Not foreboding at all.

Naruto happily dragged the Uchiha around the village like his personal pack mule.

The civilians of the village openly glared at the smiling boy, and the harsh whispers and muttered insults didn't go unnoticed. Shisui wasn't surprised by their dislike, but it unsettled him by their open hostility towards the boy.

He had seen the dislike for his own clan when it came to the suspicious and paranoid people, but he had never seen such open hostility or blatant shunning from the villagers. The ninja didn't do anymore then glance and continue onward, but kept the boy well within their peripheral like he was an iffy explosive tag.

"It's that brat."

"Don't look him in the eye."

"Never talk to that boy, Yuki, he's very dangerous."

"Look, it's with an Uchiha."

"Why can't it leave us in peace?"

"Probably controlling the thing with his cursed eyes."

"Best to avoid them."

"Uchiha shouldn't be trusted with it."

"Ne, Shinobi-san!" Naruto exclaimed, purposely leaving out Shisui's name, grin splitting his face and eyes squinted. "We can stop by my place to drop off the stuff for the door! We'll fix it tomorrow, okay?"

Shisui's attention snapped back to the kid and nodded.

He knew the child could hear the whispers, Naruto had proven he wasn't as dense as everyone seemed to think. Shisui looked into the calm blue eyes of Konoha's jinchuriki and felt a sense of peace wash over him. It was only then he realized he had been leaking KI. The kid had many faces, it seemed, but none of them held ill intent toward the village. Naruto was a genuinely kind person, if not a little too paranoid for his age.

"Sure, just lead the way to your home," Shisui said and followed the chattering blond to a run down complex. It wasn't a shabby thing, but it had seen better days.

"You live here?" Shisui asked, following the bouncing brat up the stairs to the third floor.

"Yup, home sweet home," Naruto chirped as he swung the apartment door open.

Shisui walked in after him.

The room was small with only a kitchenette, a table, two stools, a trashcan, and a fridge in it. It had posters and a calendar that, no doubt, hid blemishes or holes in the wall. A short hall led to what he assumed to be the bathroom and the bedroom. Over all it was clean and tidy. Not what he expected from a young kid...unless that kid was his cousin/little brother Itachi. That kid had some things going for him.

Naruto walked off to the far door and into the room. "You can set the stuff on the table. Make yourself at home."

Shisui set the things on the table and sat on one of the stools. A moment later, Naruto came out carrying a brush and some paint. He set the items next to the supplies for the door and walked over to turn the hotplate on. He flipped the switch and set a teapot on it. He moved about the kitchen grabbing two cups along with a tea strainer.

Naruto looked over to Shisui and asked, "do you have a preference to what type of tea you want?"

"Anything is fine," Shisui said politely, earning an exasperated sigh and a few muttered words from his host. Shisui was mildly surprised by Naruto's hospitality. Most kids his age weren't very polite to their guests in the traditional sense. But as he watched the young boy move about and calmly, if not lethargically, welcome his guest, Shisui couldn't help but think that the kid would have done this quite a few times.

Naruto, being the host and the youngest (in body), served the tea. Naruto was silent and quietly studied Shisui, seeming to ponder over something as they drank. Shisui doubted anyone besides himself had ever seen the many faces of Naruto. The kid's file was so inaccurate, he feared for the village's security and the competence of the intelligence division.

"Loud", "inattentive", "hyperactive", and "disturber of the peace" his left saddle.

"I'd like to apologize on behalf of the village for the inappropriate behavior directed at you, Uchiha-san, while within my company," Naruto said, breaking the long silence and setting his empty cup down. "It was uncalled for and not personal in most cases. I ask that you do not hold their reactions and irrational behavior against them in the future."

Again, the child's words changed and had a different feel to them. It was unsettling and made him wonder how the time spent with their Hokage had effected the child's mind, but Shisui was quick to reply, "don't worry about me, Naruto-kun. If... it's alright to ask. How much do you hear from them?"

Naruto tilted his head in thought before deciding something. "I hear enough to know what they think of me. But I doubt that's what you're truly concerned about."

Shisui got an uneasy feeling in his gut at the piercing look the young boy was giving him.

"What do you think of me, Uchiha-san? What do you think when hear the name Uzumaki Naruto?"

Shisui got the distinct impression he was being tested or interrogated. That he was being tried the entire time he was with the boy. That this was a final test, of sorts, to prove whether or not he was a safe 'adult' to trust. It didn't do much good for his pride as a shinobi to only just realize this. Naruto would make, will make, a terrifying ninja when grown.

He wondered how well he was doing in the child's test. He must have been doing something right, he got this far into it while others never got past the loud mouthed nonsense. If he did this right, he felt that this little kid would become very interesting and perhaps show Shisui what his true face was.

"Well," Shisui said, thinking over his words. "I think you're a bright kid. Very smart and aware of what's around him. I'm not completely sure why you play stupid...a defense mechanism, perhaps."

Shisui looked over to Naruto who sat waiting for him to continue. No answers yet, then.

"You have more masks then Hatake-san, who has three physical and one emotional as far as I can tell. You're very mature for your age-"

An amused snort from the boy made him pause, who waved him on to continue.

Shisui raised an eyebrow before continuing, "and I think you know something that you shouldn't know."

Naruto hummed in acknowledgment. "And what do you think of the Kyuubi, Uchiha Shisui?"

Shisui felt like he was about to have a heart attack. Scratch the last question being the last test; this was what Naruto wanted to know. How he viewed the Kyuubi sealing deal. This was so above his pay grade, it wasn't even funny.

Shisui quickly scanned the area for probing ears. It was bad enough the child knew of the chakra fox, but he didn't know how he heard of its existence. Did the child overhear something? Was the child in contact with the fox? Shisui was pretty sure he didn't slip up around the boy. But what if he did? He was going to be executed if anyone even thought he told the boy. He didn't want to die for something he didn't do!

"No one can hear us," Naruto said, "the seals allow this. Speak freely."

"How do you know about it?" Shisui whispered, even though the child said the room was secured. How did Naruto know about something like security seals anyway? Not to mention how did a kid managed to get his grubby hands on them.

"Irrelevant," Naruto said shortly.

"It's forbidden to speak of-"

"I may speak of it to whomever I please. What do you think of the Kyuubi no Kitsune?" Naruto probed, face neutral.

"It's scary and I wet my pants when it attacked the village," Shisui said, without properly thinking over his answer. He clammed up and his face reddened. Well, dignity didn't mean much in his line of work anyway.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You no doubt just shot his ego sky high. But what do you think of me being his jinchuriki?"

"Uh...scary foxes have an ego?" Shisui asked, saying exactly what was on his mind. It was like his mouth had no filter.

Naruto sighed. "I laced your tea way too heavily. My status as a jinchuriki, Shisui-san. Jinchuriki. What do you think of them?"

"He laced my tea?" Shisui said out loud, now understanding the lack of filter and the sudden word diarrhea. He stared down at his empty tea cup. "My tea?"

"You'd think he'd have a higher tolerance." Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose. "Irrelevant. Focus, Shisui. Jinchuriki. What do you think of the jinchuriki?"

"They must be pretty strong to hold a demon," Shisui said without hesitation then frowned. "What did you put in my tea? Will I die?"

"The biju are anything but demons. I pray you never meet a real one," Naruto said and sighed. "No, you will not die. It's just a fast acting truth drug, that if fallen in the wrong hands would be very dangerous. Uchiha Shisui, can I trust you to work with other Jinchuriki and not discriminate against us?"

"As long as they don't try to kill me, my family, or my village," Shisui replied, surprising himself.

Naruto smiled and accepted his answer. He got up and moved over to one of the cupboards, he pulled up a false bottom and took out a vial and syringe. He quickly replaced the bottom and walked over to Shisui who was eyeing him warily.

"This will counteract the drug. I can't have you spilling your guts in the middle of the streets. I'd be getting assassination attempts tenfold on top of you endangering the village; we can't have the ANBU overwork themselves, now can we." Naruto flicked the syringe and watched a few bubbles surface.

"If you're worried about assassins learning about stuff. Why ask me that question if I could just run off to tell Hokage-sama? Does he already know?"

"The Hokage doesn't know, it isn't wise to tell him," Naruto murmured and stabbed the needle into the shinobi's arm. "If you had given me a bad answer, I would've just erased your memory. At the moment, you can't exit this apartment without having a serious bout of amnesia."

"You lace my tea, threaten my memory, and refuse to tell the Hokage about restricted knowledge. How do you know I'm not going to run off and tell him once you're done with me?" Shisui asked.

Naruto frowned. "I don't, but I'm gambling both our lives that you won't. You rat me out, and you're as good as dead."

"Is that a threat?" Shisui asked warily, the kid was making him nervous.

Naruto looked at the ceiling, deep in thought. "Hm, no. Just warning you what will happen if a certain man caught wind of my extensive knowledge. Besides, if you don't tell Jiji, I'll help you. A loyal jinchuriki goes to the ends of the Earth, through Makai and back, for his or her comrades. Most never learn this because they don't approach us. Ironic really, that they're so scared of our insanity but it's they themselves that make our insanity possible. Speaking of insanity, I really need to get in contact with Gaara. Hope he hasn't lost his marbles yet. Anyway, I help you, you help me, we save the world from destroying itself and then go out for ramen afterward. Maybe get some good sake involved. Actually, we deserve a party. Yeah, a nice big party; because we were just awesome and saved the world-"

"Wait. Hold it. Stop. Who's Gaara?" Shisui asked, not liking that he was being left out of the loop and that the kid seemed to be getting more unstable by the second.

"Gaara is a future friend and Ichibi no jinchuriki," Naruto replied. "Should we have the party at my place or...you know what, by then I'll have it arranged to have a great big festival. Across the elemental nations! So ramen, good sake, dango, maybe tomatoes and hm... well, I have a few years to plan. Oh, and bubble tea. The young ones like their bubble tea. We'll need to have music and games too. Like pin the tail on the Juubi. Hahaha! Wave could probably supply us with fish, add the right herbs and mmm, I'm making myself drool. Which reminds me, I'll need to figure out that whole thing with Kiri, ugh. But no matter, with my plan and secret organization- I mean club, we'll take out the brainwashed brainwasher in no time!"

Shisui blinked a few times before shaking his head, it was best not to question what went through a child's mind. "Naruto-kun... What did you mean by you helping me?"

"Oh, right," Naruto said, coming out of his daydreams of delicious food. "Yeah, well, you Uchiha are kind of in a bind at the moment. What with the coup and the crazy old guy's council manipulation. I'll try helping the best I can, though, there really isn't much I can do. Politics you know? Oh and there's the whole thing with your eyes, ah, never mind. I'm rambling now. I heard it get's worse as you get older."

When receiving no answer other than silence, Naruto glanced over to the Uchiha who he found was foaming and twitching on the ground.

Naruto walked up to the frothing Uchiha. "Shisui-san?"

"Beehrrah..." was the intelligent reply of Uchiha Shisui.

"Are you having an allergy attack?" Naruto asked worriedly.

"Blahhh..." Shisui knew that the kid was going to be the end of him.

"Oh, you're worried. You should've said something earlier. No matter what, you'll be fine. Just have to put the finishing touches on faking your death and we'll be all set!" Naruto reassured happily.

Shisui's only response was crying, "Beh-heh-heh..."

Omake

(Miss Secretary)

She had been working as the secretary for a good decade.

She had worked under the Sandaime and Yondaime respectively. Getting to know the two whiny men in ways that destroyed any hero-worship that might have cropped up before.

While it wasn't a glamorous job, it certainly beat working under certain others.

The Sandaime, Sarutobi Hiruzen, used to be a real workaholic. Not surprising, considering the war that was going on and the sheer amount of combined effort of the hokage, elders, and administration to get through all the new information and decisions needing to be made.

Thankfully, she didn't have to work to much with those papers. No, she was in charge of taking care of the people flow allowed into the hokage's office and directing people to the right areas of the building.

Honestly, you'd think the jounin would know by now where to turn in special reports.

Which was why the ANBU (and what was that idiot rookie doing without his MASK?!) was in the office giving an extremely important report that was completely confidential and she knew 'nothing' about.

It was also why she got to keep watch over the resident jinchuriki. Uzumaki Naruto. Son of a fierce and cunning kunoichi and unrestrained mad genius hidden behind a smile and hokage hat.

That combination was just asking for trouble.

It was a wonder the boy was sane enough to be functional in everyday society.

Which was also why, when the boy got The Glint of Impending Destruction, she got a familiar feeling of dread.

Darn her luck for getting her stuck in a room with a pranking genius spawn. How she kept him in that room just long enough was nothing short of a miracle. Or, a writer that doesn't take sadistic pleasure in prolonging a poor secretary's suffering at the hands of a bored Uzumaki.