Emma couldnt help but sleep herself crying that night not the whole night though, Only a few naps between cry and sobs. He left her, just like she always knew he would, just like everyone did in her life over and over. People would think she should be use to it, to the hurt in her heart and soul but no one can get use to the feeling of getting burn inside and certainly this time it felt worse than ever, maybe because she actually have come to believe that she could have it, him , a happy life but it was probably because she had never love someone as much as she loves him, she had never felt this way about someone else, like they are kindred spirits, soul mates and true love at the end.

She probably should regret openning up, she should regret letting herself love him this much (like she could control it, anyway- as if she didnt try to stop it once either), maybe she should hate him for making feel this way, she should put her walls again up and run and run and never stop but that wasnt possible, not anymore, not with him, not with the love of your life. She didnt regret a single thing or moment, she never felt this hurt before but she never felt loved as she did before him either and she could help the smile and tears all together as the memories of the little normal happy moments shared, his smile, the love in his eyes, the feel of his touch, the feeling of being one, one body, one spirit, one soul, one hurt because yeah, she suposses that how true love works and she even believes that they most be the Truest love of all because she can imagine being possible for someone else to love the way she loves him and the way he made her feel loved, that deep beautiful feeling beyond the start... that not even saying I love you every 2 minutes seems to make it justice, when you just want hold that person tight, so tight that it doest seem enough and you never wanna let go.

And here she is now, crying and hurt and the worse thing is that theres no one to blame, not really. Well a part of her blames life, that always have to make her feel the lost girl all over, why she be happy? Why? And she surely blames that damn bitch! She´d not come into their lifes, she was the reason why this mess started but true to be told, she blames herself mostly... she tried so hard to control her feelings, to hide them , to deny them to herself for so long, affraid that he would hurt her, that he would leave and break her heart but at the end, it was her the one to hurt him, to make him leave and to break their both hearts.

She cried until she couldnt anymore, until she didnt feel nothing more than sore, tired eyes and deep pain in her heart, she was exhasted but she couldnt care any less.

She woke up when the sun light come from the window just to find the big empty bed, no one by her side like every single morning, her broke a little more.

She went down and made breakfast for Henry, sat down on the table so tired, tired of feeling this pain when she heard her phone´s ring, a text . Killian´s name and picture on the screen, her heart ached at this sight of his eyes and smile and she already misses him so much, tears started rolling down.

"Im okay, not need to worry. Have a nice day a work.

Killian."

She couldnt help sobing after reading it, 3 times until she couldnt see anymore because of the tears in her eyes. She felt warm because he cares and knew that she would be worried and he didnt want her to be hurt but her break couldnt keep breaking a little more everytime, it wasnt because of what he wrote, it was because everything he did not. There were not "I love you´s, I miss you, im thinking of you, not "love" , Emma or even Swan; theres was nothing personal, there was not them, at all.

She took a few moments to calm herself down, finished breakfast and wake up Henry before she could come to gain strengh to text him back.

"Thank you for let me know, i was worried. Where are you? Take care of yourself. We need to talk later.

Emma"

She felt she didnt have the right to ask questions but she needed to know, and she was still his girlfriend, its not like the broke up or anything (even if it felt like they did) and she wanted to keep a chat, even just casual texting.

It took a few minutes for her to get her answer :

"At the docks. Normal day of work... Tell Henry that im sorry, i will pick him up after school. I need to talk to him. Hope you dont have much trouble at work. Take it easy."

She started sobing again but not tears this time, there were not tears left and her eyes hurt like hell but her heart hurt so much more. He was staying on his ship like she supossed, that was okay but he said he needed to talk to Henry, after school, which meant he wasnt coming back home and it broke her heart all over again. He was really leaving her, he didnt want to see her, not anymore. It felt so horrible, it felt like the end of the world, her world. She just wanted to lay in bed and cry to sleep, like... forever, but she didnt even want to sleep, she didnt want anything, anything but him, but his love and warmth back. She texted him only 3 words back:

"I LOVE YOU"

-...-...-...-...-CS-...-...-...-...-...-

Henry noticed something was off and he asked her : "where is Killian, mom?"

"He left early to work"- she looked back and tried to sound honest

"Its that why you have red eyes and sad look, im not blind, you know?"- he locked his eyes on hers and grabed her hand

"Its okay, you dont have to worry, kid. Killian will pick you up from school later. Hurry or you will be late"- she didnt feel like talking, it would hurt more.

Henry got up, grabbed his stuff , came to her and hugged her, tight. –"It will be okay, mom. You will come around. True love is forever, smile. I love you"- he saidsweetly

"I love you too, Henry"- she did everything not to break in that moment, or waited until she was gone.

She spent the rest of her day at work, trying to keep her mind busy so she wouldnt think or start crying in the middle of the station. Her father noticed it, though but she told him she didnt feel like talk, they needed to work and he didnt push. Even though, he texted MM and she came to visit them for lunch time, bringing one of Emma´s favourite food. It warmed her heart that she wasnt alone this time, she had her parents and her son to try to cheer her up but it didnt work, really. She couldnt swallow, she forced smiles but she felt nothing but her broken heart but she was glad they didnt ask.

After her shift was over, she asked her dad to have another, she didnt want to go home but David didnt take it, he took her to their home instead. After a hot shower, her parents were waiting for her in the living room with 3 cups of chocolate and some donuts and she had not choice but tell them.

"So what happened, honey"- MM asked her, concer

"We had a fight" – she said, like they didnt already know

"It was so bad that you dont wanna go home to see him?! Im gonna kill that damn pirate, tell what he did to you so i can go and cut his hand again!"- David said

"I- I dont wanna go home because... he left to have some air last night but he isnt coming back"- she couldnt help the tears falling again

"He left you! What he did to you, Emma"- Snow asked this time

"Im gonna go and find him!"- David stood up after seing the hurt in his child´s eyes

"No! He didnt do anything. It was me, i – im the one who hurt him. Well, its complicated"- she said fast to stop him

"We are not going anymore, sweetheart and either are you. But its okay if you dont wanna talk"- Snow said, while caressing her hand

-...-...-...-...-...-...-...-CS-...-...-...-...-...-...-...-...-

"You spyed on him?! Why would you, Emma?"- Her father said

"David! Its your daughter, sad daughter you are talking to!"- snow yelled at him

"Im sorry, Emma. You know i love you but i dont understand why you did that"

"Its okay. I know it was a big mistake and i regret it so bad but what can i do now?- Im an idiot i let her get to me, i let my jealous win me over, i didnt think"- she said crying in her hands

"Emma, its okay. It will be okay, honey."- Snow moved closer to hold her against her chest

"I know he made his mistakes here too but you´d have talk to him, not use your magic in your benefit on the relationship. Trust in each other is one of the most important thing in a good relationship, sweetheart"- David sat closer to her and grabbed her hand

"I know, i know. God, i feel so bad, i miss him so much already. I feel like someone took my heart out of my chest or even worse. I want him- i need him back"

"Sounds just true love (pain) to me"- Snow said with a little smile- "You will get him back, he will come back to you, dont worry Emma".

-...-...-...-...-...-...-...-...-CS-...-...-...-...-...-...-...-

The next 3 days werent any easier for her, Henry stayed with her at home. He told her that he had a man to man chat with Killian and the pirate told him that he needed some time to think and clear his head but he didnt mean to hurt him or Emma and this didnt have to change their relationship and that he hoped everything would be okay again, eventually. This only hurt Emma more, if that was possible! How could he be so amazing, so good with her son. How could she let him go? She missed him to much and she wanted him back, she needed him like if she was in capture in dark urn with no air to breath but she didnt know what to do so, she didnt do anything. She would give him space, she didnt like waiting but he waited so long for her, he was so pacient in the past, she would do the same for him and even if she hated being away from her love. But of course, she didnt want him to think she didnt care or she would just let him go so, she made sure that whenever he texted Henry and he would send her hi´s or little message (not that she didnt know Henry would tell him how miserable she was without him, though) and she sent him a few pics of her baby brother telling him "He misses you too" or "little handsome pirate in the making" but she didnt get much of an answer from him, maybe just a "He is missed too" or just a happy face " " but again she would give him time.

Time that she spent working, watching (or trying) with Henry and even making an sleep over with Roland and the little charming at her house with Henry, just so she wouldnt have time to cry and miss him to death, and she also helped her mom at school giving chats to the kids about saving the town, being the savior or sheriff but this didnt stop her from crying whenever she had a minute alone, even if it was only to the bathroom or have a shower, she couldnt be around people (or smily kids) 24/7. She, of course, didnt sleep one single night on her bed. She wouldnt, not without him. The bedroom felt so big, so empty, so cold, the house felt so sad with him, not safe, not home anymore.

She would stay watching movies in Henry´s bed just to sleep with him (not that he complainted about it) or let herself fall asleep on the couch with the tv turn on, so when she wake up in the middle of the night (she always did) she could stop her crying and distract on it.

Four days, four long days without seeing him, barely texting, (5 texts after that night and only getting 4 short empty cold messages back), 4 days without his smile, his voice, his oh so blue eyes, four days without his warmth, without his touch, his kisses, his love. Four longest and probably sadest days of her life, especially after finding Henry.

That afternoon she went to her parents house to visit (distracting herself, nothing really worked, tough).

"Have you seen him? Or heard of him, dad?- she asked him

"I had texted him a few times but we couldnt meet , i was busy or he was busy too"- he answered

"Mmm... Dad... Can- can you go to see him, to check on him? Please?"- she asked shily

"Sure, i actually wanted to but what? Something happened?"-

"No, not really. Henry didnt get an answer this morning before school and he is with Regina now. I just want to make sure he is okay. I dont want him to do something stupid, get in trouble or hurt himself or do something he will later regret"- Emma told him, she was definitely worried about him

"If you are thinking about another possible woman, Emma-" her dad gave her "really?" look and she cut him

"You know women had easily a thing for him, and i know he wouldnt do it but everyone knows his sweet spot for rum, especially when he is hurt or angry. And that, that Bit- Diana, she is still around and she didnt care tricking him with Michael story to kiss him! I wouldnt be surprise if..."- just the thought of that woman close to him made her wanna vomit

"Okay, i know what you are saying, i will call him and go to him tonight. He is my friend after all and i will talk to him"- he tried to see him before but Killian seemed to try to avoid him for some reason

"Thank you, dad. You are the best!"- she gave him a smile and kiss on the cheek. Having parents was more amazing that she ever though it would.

She was really worried about him and yeah, she wouldnt deny that she felt jealous of thinking that he could be with some else, no! She did trust him but like she said to her dad, drunk/Hurt/Angry Killian around sluts, wasnt a good combo. It could really end up in a big disaster, and maybe after that, it wouldnt be turn back but she knew he didnt sleep with prostitutes on that year away, he loved her that much. But also she felt so bad because even if she was hurting like hell (not him to blame anyway) and no matter how hard she tried she felt like dying inside, every minute away from him was a torture , at least now she had her son, her amazing parents, her brother, her job, the school chats she was giving this week to distract herself, being around kids, smiling, laughing and playing always help, and she had friends (not that she landed a foot on Granny´s. She would stand the stares or pitty eyes), she felt empty and lonely without him but she wasnt alone, she had people now and SB was still part of her normal world but him, him shared his life with her, most of the time they were together, when not making love, teasing, joking, laughing, do anything but together, or they were with her son or her parents and brothers, yeah he had friends too David himself, Robin, Will, Jefferson, even Archie liked him and Smeeth and his old crew and new co-workers but this wasnt his world, this wasnt his natural life, he might feel he doesnt belong here, that he had nothing left, and she couldnt dare to let him feel like that. She would make sure he wasnt alone. He´d been alone 300 years, he deserved much better than that and she would make sure of it, even if it kill her inside that she couldnt be the one comforting him.

She loves him and misses him with every beat of her heart and she would do anything for him, for her dashing pirate, until the end of time.