Chapter Nine – Feeling Alone

I was so happy when I finished this chapter because I had 50 reviews at this point, all of the reviews meant so much to me so thanks to all of the reviewers 3 I'm re-writing this chapter next, so hopefully I'll get back into the flow and write some new chapters after I finish re-writing this. I hope that people enjoy reading this story and drop me a line letting me know what you think. Hopefully the re-write will improve it and not ruin it in any way. Review please.

Dreams and Flash backs are in italics.


Sesshomaru stood at the door waiting for someone to answer it, slightly impatient and as he waited he shoved his hands into the pockets of his suit pants. He wasn't really sure what to expect from this and he wasn't generally a nervous person, but this slip of a girl was causing it even though he wasn't letting the emotion show outwardly it was still there. The main reason for this strange uneasiness he was feeling was that he wasn't sure what she was going to ask at dinner or how he was going to answer her questions.

"Hi Sesshomaru, I hope you found the place okay," Kagome said softly after opening the door. A genuine smile was on her lips as she spoke, she was so glad to have someone to talk to and someone that understood what it had been like for her and everyone back in the feudal era. Someone who also knew the people she had known and loved and someone who could answer the questions that she craved answers for.

"Yes I did…and you look quite beautiful," Sesshomaru said with a half smile as his golden eyes looked down at the smiling girl standing in front of him. Kagome seemed barely older than the girl he had known briefly in the feudal era – what he remembered of her anyway – which was slightly disconcerting since it had been five hundred years for him and she smelled distinctly human, he'd never expected to run into her again.

He remained silent for a few moments as he looked at her, physically she did not look that different than back in the past or all the other girls that lived in the current era. The difference lay in her eyes, they looked too old for someone who appeared to be so young, but then his eyes and those of other youkai probably had the same look since they lived so long but it was rarer in humans. She looked like someone who had encountered death too often, seen too much, lost too much and they had a deep sadness within them.

"Oh thank you," She said with a slight blush as she glanced up at him from beneath lowered lashes, she hadn't expected a compliment from Sesshomaru but it was another example of how much he had changed since she saw him last. He looked attractive in this suit though she still found it a little disconcerting to see him in clothing from her time and she couldn't help but think he would look better in the clothes of the past more than the suit of the present. Coming out of her thoughts she continued, "Do you mind coming in for a moment? My mum would like to meet you."

Sesshomaru nodded his head slightly in agreement and with another smile Kagome turned around in the doorway and headed back inside confident that he would follow her. Once they reached the lounge room she looked over to her mum and said, "Mum this is Sesshomaru, Sesshomaru this is my mum."

"Oh yes… I can definitely see the resemblance to Inuyasha. You both look quite similar, it's easy to see that you're siblings," her mother said walking over to him so that she could peer at him more closely. "Mm…and you do a very good job at covering your markings with your charm."

"You can see the markings?" he asked perturbed. This was the first time that someone had been able to see through the charm, at least to his knowledge. That some people could have such an insight troubled him…he might have to get in contact with the kitsune about this issue.

"Of course I can see them, I may not be as strong as my daughter but I have miko in me as well," she said with a faint smile. "But don't worry too much about it. It's mostly due to the fact that I know you're youkai already that I'm able to see them so easily. It is likely that others would have a hard time seeing through the charm."

Kagome was slightly surprised at her mother's words about the charm. Even she hadn't been able to actually see through it despite knowing that he was Sesshomaru and what he had looked like in the past. And she hadn't known that her mother's miko powers were active either, she'd thought that they were dormant like hers had been before she had been thrust into the past. Though when she noticed how close her mother had gotten to Sesshomaru she said a little nervously, "Ah…mum you're getting a bit too close to him, remember personal space? And I'm not sure he wants you to say he looks like Inuyasha."

"It's okay," Sesshomaru said not seeming upset at the comparison or the invasion of space though he did move back slightly to renew his personal space. "Also Inuyasha and I got over our differences with time…"

"Oh, I'm sorry," her mother said when she registered Kagome's words. With a wry grin as she moved back a step as well, looking up at the handsome youkai she added, "I always used to do things like that to Inuyasha as well…"

The sound of the front door opening and closing cut off conversation for a few moments as all attention was directed towards said door and the person coming inside which was Souta coming home from studying at a friends place. Though he didn't seem aware at first of his large audience as he started talking, "Hey Mum, there is this really cool car parked out front. Do you know who…" he trailed off slightly seeing all three of them in the hallway watching him. Especially when he saw the tall, silver haired guy standing in the middle of the room beside Kagome, there was something slightly familiar about him but he wasn't really sure what. "Uh…who's that?"

Kagome rolled her eyes slightly at her brother's fixation on sports cars and other cars in general. She never had been able to work out what it was about them that drew guys to them so easily and caused them to obsess about them as well. "Souta this is Sesshomaru, Inuyasha's older brother and most likely the owner of the 'cool car' out front, as you put it. Sesshomaru this is my younger brother Souta."

They shook hands and then Souta excused himself, he had to get ready for his date with Kimiko later that night. They talked for a little while longer and then her mother said, "Well I suppose I better not keep you any longer," she said as she ushered them both out the door. "Have fun!"

"Your mother is nice," Sesshomaru said softly as they walked down the stairs and towards the silver convertible that Souta had thought was so cool.

"More likely meddling and embarrassing," she said with a grin. "But I guess that's what mothers are for."

They arrived out the front of the restaurant and they got out of the car. She looked up in awe at the impressive building as the valet took the convertible's keys from Sesshomaru. As he walked up to her she snapped out of her thoughts and walked with him to the restaurant and she was glad that she was dressed up. They were at a well known Italian restaurant called Antonio's, one of those places that you have to book months ahead... though it obviously wasn't any trouble for someone in Sesshomaru's standing to get a table with only a day's notice. As they walked in she tried not to feel inferior at the stares and glares that she was receiving, though she knew it was simply the fact that they were wondering what Sesshomaru was doing with someone like her. Biting her lip she ignored them and kept her head up.

When she stopped paying attention to the other people and looked around at the restaurant she was in awe of the place, it was gorgeous. All the walls and floors were stained a dark mahogany with colourful abstract paintings and throw rugs in gold, red, blue and green. The wooden tables and chairs were all a stained a light golden colour with deep burgundy cushions and table cloths. To the side there was a band and a bar, as well as a dance floor. "Wow this place is beautiful," Kagome said, slightly in awe as they were taken to their table.

"I like it," Sesshomaru said as he pulled her chair out for her and then pulled out his own and sat down. A waiter appeared as if by magic and they ordered and then the waiter disappeared as quickly.

"So… what have you been up to in the last five hundred years?" Kagome asked. Sesshomaru raised his eye brow in question. "Tell me about how you got into business."

"I was the lord of the western lands until around three hundred years ago. That was about the time that things started to change, the humans began taking over and making advanced technology which they used to try and exterminate us," he said with a slight frown as he thought back to the past. "Since then my family and I have been living as humans – as have all other hanyou's and youkai that wanted to live. We have been travelling from one place to the next and changing our names and appearances slightly thanks to the charms that the kitsune developed. It has been rewarding to own businesses and I am fairly rich from it as well."

"Wow, that's more interesting than me," she said with a grin as the waiter reappeared with their food and a bottle of wine. "So does everyone think that youkai and hanyou's don't exist anymore?" Kagome asked interested. It seemed there had to be some people here and there that knew of their existence.

"Well there are a trusted few around the world that do, not to mention the humans that find love with hanyou's or youkai. It is not expected that they keep something like that from their loved ones but generally it is thought that we don't exist anymore," he said as he poured the wine and then took a mouthful of his food. Kagome nodded at the information it seemed very likely to her. They sat in silence enjoying the meal until Sesshomaru broke the silence and asked, "So what did you do the last few years?"

Kagome's mouth dried slightly as she thought about what she should tell him, she took a sip of her drink and replied, "Not that much. I was heartbroken to begin with and I jumped in the well every day trying to get back," she said with a sigh and a wry smile. "I expected him to come and get me but he didn't, so I tried to move on… I went back to school and caught up on what I had missed and finished school with good grades, then I did a business course and I have been looking for work ever since."

"Would you like to know why?" he asked softly as he swirled the wine in his glass.

"Know why what?" she asked intrigued.

"Why he didn't come back for you," Sesshomaru said still not looking up from the wine glass he held.

"Yes," she whispered but she knew he had heard.

"He couldn't come back for you, he tried though. He wanted you to be safe… but after a year of trying to gather the jewels and defeat Naraku on our own he decided to go and see you. Though before he could Naraku attacked us and stole our jewel shards," Sesshomaru said emotionlessly. Tears filled her eyes at the knowledge that he had tried to come back. That he hadn't meant to abandon them. That was what mattered. "It wasn't until two years after that that we finally managed to kill him and get the now whole jewel off him, but his only chance again to get back to you was gone when he unconsciously made his wish… you see Miroku and Sango were killed in the final battle," he said looking into her shocked brown eyes. "Inuyasha thought of all the people whose lives had been wrecked by the jewel and Naraku and wished he could never come back and anyone that was killed by Naraku or his incarnations would be brought back to life."

Though tears filled her eyes at the now lost hope of him getting the jewel and coming to get her Kagome could not fault the wish. He had used it to bring back their friends and all the innocents that had lost their lives thanks to Naraku. Kagome smiled through her tears and placed her hand on Sesshomaru's. "Thankyou for telling me," she said softly. "Can you tell me what happened to them?"

"Shippo was safe with Rin through the battle and he chose to stay there until he grew up and found a mate. Sango and Miroku got married and had too many children to count. Koga finally mated with the female wolf youkai Ayame. Inuyasha… he tried to kill himself soon after his wish," Sesshomaru said looking away from her once again; he was unsure how much information he should give her. Kagome clapped her free hand over her mouth at this information, no not Inuyasha! He couldn't be gone…

"However I saved him from his death," he said before adding with a wry smile, "Not that he was very appreciative of it."

"What happened to Rin?" Kagome asked curiously.

"She and I have been mates for around four hundred and ninety years," he said softly his eyes glazed slightly with memories.

"Can you tell me more?" she asked softly. Unsure as to what else she wanted to know, just that she wanted to know more.

"Well that depends," he said looking once again at her, his eyes clear once again.

"On what?" she inquired.

"On whether or not you plan on going back to the Feudal Era," he said as he took a sip of his wine. "Future knowledge is dangerous."

"I can't go back! You said so yourself…" she said angrily.

"No, I said that you couldn't get back through the well using the Shikon Jewel because it has been wished into non-existence, but there is the possibility that there is another way to get there. Are you interested?" Kagome nodded silently, so he wrote down his address and handed it to her. "If you're interested come to my house tomorrow at two and I will explain more about the possibility."

Sesshomaru stood up, pushing the chair out behind him and she followed suit without even realising it. She then looked down at her plate and found that everything on it was all gone, she had eaten it without even realising what she was doing because she'd been too engrossed in the conversation. Kagome's mind was still racing with what Sesshomaru had told her and it didn't take her long to become distracted once more, so much so that Sesshomaru had his arm around her waist and was guiding her in the correct direction. Once outside and in the car they headed back towards the Shrine.

She was relieved to know that Inuyasha had tried to come back to get her and she smiled happily when she thought about what little Sesshomaru had said about her friends. She was so glad they were okay and if he was right there might even be a way for her to get back to the Feudal Era. She would give anything to be with them all again. Kagome's smile faltered slightly when she remembered what he'd said about Inuyasha trying to kill himself after the battle and while Sesshomaru hadn't been specific she assumed he went into a battle he couldn't win, though she had trouble imagining that if he had succeeded in killing Naraku. There wouldn't have been many that could manage that and Sesshomaru had said that he and Inuyasha eventually got over their problems or at least enough to get along to a degree. Hesitantly she asked, "Uh…Sesshomaru? How did Inuyasha try and kill himself?"

Sesshomaru glanced away from the road to look at her and returned his gaze back to the road and continued driving, "He went out and let a group of third rate youkai beat him to a bloody pulp. He only survived because I arrived in time to save him and get him back to the castle, he had broken bones and internal bleeding. The baka didn't even try to fight back...he's lucky that I was going through that area of forest."

She couldn't even imagine what he must have been thinking for him to do that, though she assumed it was to do with the same feelings that'd had her slit her wrist, but Inuyasha, her love and protector giving up in such a way. "What… happened to him after that? Was he okay? Did the other's live long lives? Did-"

"I told you I couldn't tell you," he said abruptly.

"But I want to…" she started.

"If you manage to go back to the Feudal Era and stay there it is dangerous to know about the future. But yes they were all very happy…" he continued gruffly.

Kagome smiled at the thought of them all finally being happy.