Author's Note: Here's another chapter for you all. Another parody of the Frenchy meets her Teen Angel scene from Grease. This time, I had to tweak the lyrics a bit to change the theme. It doesn't make sense if Wade was a Dentist with pink hair, would it? No, I won't tell you who will be Frankie Avalon, you have to read this.
I still don't own the original lyrics or anything. So don't fucking sue. Enjoy!
Later in the evening, in his basement apartment below the plant shop, Seymour began to work on chopping Wade's body. He wrapped newspapers around his body to prevent blood splattering his clothing. He raised the ax high, then
WHOOOCCKK!
WHOOOCKK!
WHOOOCCK!
It was beginning to storm as Mr. Mushnik exited the elevated train station. He had forgotten something from the shop and when he just about to unlock the door, he noticed a shadowy figure holding an ax. It led to Seymour's basement, and he saw the shadow lowering the ax down violently, creating a splattering chopping sound. It was similar to how a butcher cuts meat, but it was more sickening. Horrified, Mr. Mushnik stuffed the keys in his pocket and ran for his life.
Back at the shop, Seymour fed Audrey II newspaper covered body parts of the dearly departed Wade Barrett, DDS. The last body part was his head as he tossed it into the plant's mouth like a basketball. Audrey II cackled as it slurped and belched. "Now, how about a pint, fella?" he asked.
Into the depths of Purgatory, Wade fell, and he fell, body parts and all. He ended up inside a malt shop and put himself together. Literally. He sat inside of a white booth and screwed his head back into place. He couldn't believe he could actually do that. He couldn't ever do it, he'd have to be-
"I can't be dead!" he cried. "If I were dead, I'd see one o'those bloody fuckin' angels tellin' me what to do."
Suddenly, the Englishman heard a harp-like sound from out of nowhere, then a flashing light. He turned around and saw John Cena...as the Teen Angel.
"Your story's sad to tell," he began singing, "a dental ne'er-do-well. Most sadistic little bitch on the block. Your future's so unclear now, what's left of your career now? Can't even get a trade-in on your smileeee!"
Then, the room lit up and on the side of the stairs were three molars, a giant toothbrush, and a dental mirror dancing. At the bottom of the stairwell behind them were the Urchins. Drew was on the right, Heath and Jinder were on the left. They were back in their Dental School uniforms, with Jinder wearing a white turban, Heath wearing a ponytail, and Drew had his hair half up, with the rest of his brown locks in tousled curls.
They sang their la-la-las, helping the angel taunt Wade and moving like the doo-wop groups.
"Dental wifebeater, no certification for you," John gracefully walked down the stairs. "Miserable Brit, should've been slapped with a lawsuit. Well at least you could have taken time to wash and clean your clothes up..."
As John sang, the Urchins mocked Wade's laughing gas addiction. "After spending all that dough on that goddamn nitrous oxide!" the angel continued. "Baby, get moving!"
"Better get moving," sang the Urchins.
"Why keep putting Audrey in a cast? What are you proving?"
"What are you proving?" echoed the Urchins as they and the dental objects danced.
Wade was bewildered that he was getting made fun of, his mouth dropped.
"You had the dream, but not the heart. If you go for your nose job, you could do a porno flick," John ended up on the floor, between the Urchins as they did obscene pelvic thrusts before dancing off the stairs and onto the floor around Wade. "Turn in your dental drill and go back to England."
The Urchins la-la-la'ed again as they joined the teeth before crowding around the booth where Wade was sitting in, pissed off. "Get away from me!" he yelled, almost reaching out to hit Heath, who stuck his tongue out.
For being a Greek chrous, the only thing Heath, Jinder, and Drew lack in is self-control. Also, they're getting better at getting into people's minds (In Drew's case, getting into a certain Mexican's pants).
"Dental wifebeater," John continued berating him.
"Dental wifebeater," echoed the Urchins.
The Teen Angel was all up in Wade's face as the Englishman pressed his back against the booth. "Hanging around Skid Row...sick little fucker,"
"Sick little fuckkkeerrr!" echoed the Urchins as they popped up and helped the angel, the teeth, and dental objects in invading their spaces. "Whoo-oooh-oohhh-ooh..."
"It's about time you knew the score!"
"Whoo-oooh-oooohh!"
"Your mom didn't teach you anything. You think you're such a looker."
"Oooohh-ooooh-ooohh!"
Wade's green eyes brightened with shock. He couldn't beat them all up.
"But no pati-ent would go to you, unless they. Were. Hookers!" John sang with a smirk.
Jinder's mouth dropped as Drew and Heath stared at each other before laughing at Wade. The Englishman gave the Teen Angel a questionable look.
"Baby don't sweat it," sang John.
"Don't sweat it!" echoed the Urchins, who magically appeared across the table from Wade.
"You're not cut out for root canals!"
"Whoop-oop-oop!"
"Better forget it!"
"Forgeeettt it!"
"Who wants their teeth checked by a slob?"
"Whoop-oop-oopp!" The Urchins swayed back and forth.
"Now your hair is greased, your accent's so cheap, and still the world is cruel," John continued, resting his hands on the Urchins' shoulders. "Wipe off that angel face and go back to England."
The Urchins continued humming through their concealed as they tried to remain professional, doing their Motown moves. Just then, Wade took out the vial of laughing gas and attempted to sniff it before John slapped him across the face.
"Stu-ppid!" cried Jinder.
"See, that's how you got yo' ass eaten by the plant!" yelled Heath.
"Nae ye gettin' smacked 'round like teh little English bitch that ye are!" added Drew.
Wade was extremely livid now. He tried to fight the Scotsman, only to get pushed back by a magical force. "I dare ya to say it to my face one'ore time, ya bloody Scotch!" he yelled.
"Baby don't blow it," John shook his head as he sang back to the stairwell as the Urchins remained at the table by Wade doing their taunting Motown moves. "Don't put my good advice to shame. Baby you know it, even Dear Abby'd say the same. Now, I've called the shot, get off the pot! I really gotta fly. Gotta be goin' to that big tooth in the sky!"
As the Teen Angel ascended the stairs, the molars, toothbrush, and dental mirror danced around him back to their original positions at the side of the stairwell. "Dental wifebeater," he sang.
"Dental wifebeater!" sang the Urchins, staying at the table.
"...Go back to England. Insecure sadist..."
"Insecure sadiiissst!"
"...Go back to England. Dental wifebeater..."
"Dental wifebeater!"
"...Go back to England!"
"Shahhh-ahhhh-la-la-laaa!"
Then, the harp sounds echoed as the room, along with Wade, disappeared into the unknown darkness.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Post Author's Note: So what do you think? Am gonna take a mini break a bit as I'm going to be working on this fanfic challenge for the Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. I tend to do everything last minute. So yah. Anyway, what did you think of this chapter? Does anyone want me to add the Drew/Heath/Alberto bonus threesome I want to insert here? I don't write Het sex, btw. Review, please!
Lucky (Artemis Phoenix)
