Hey! well I know that this took a wee bit longer than a week, but I do have a somewhat legitimate excuse this time (I hope). The back half of this chapter took a bit longer than I expected because... well you'll know it when you read it. Lets just say for now that I've never written something like that and I did my very best on this.

I want to thank all of my reviewers, you all made it easier to keep writing even when I felt like a failure as an author :))

Oh, and please stay tuned after you finish the chapter because i have a few important announcements and questions concerning future chapters.

DISCLAIMER: You all should know this.

Without further ado, I present the second part of chapter seven.


Chapter 7 Loss

(Part II)

"Bella?" … "Bella!"

"Can you hear me? Please open your eyes."

The voice sounded so musical, so velvety, that it could have put me back to sleep. Were it not for the sick feeling in my gut. It all happened in a matter of seconds. I was buried in a world overcast with cloudiness, and with out the slightest bit of order. The rain, which should have sounded like a patter was more like a never ending roar. Then there was the pulsing pain in my head and down the side of my body. It was all gone in a second, replaced by the feel of acid running its course up my throat, causing my breathing to go in and out in stutters.

I was suffocating.

My head was turned so it faced the floor of the truck with the gentlest hands I had ever felt. There was a telltale surge of energy flowing through me,warming my skin wherever his made contact with mine. My body seemed to react instantaneously with a feeling of unexplained safety.

"Let it out Bella, just keep breathing."

That voice. I could vaguely recognize it, but through all the coughing, wheezing, and vomiting it was hard to think past the pain.

"Come on, you're going to be fine."

Whoever this person was, he was choking on his own worry. I wanted to tell him that it was all going to pass soon, but my need to breathe overpowered all other thought processes.

The world slowly became clearer. The rain became more distinct, and as I tried to convince myself that I was stocked up with an abundance of breathable air, my senses were able to gather more about my surroundings.

I was obviously still in my truck, but someone had me lying across the seat with my head cradled in their hands.

It was probably a product of my not-so-coherent mind, but the pair of hands felt incredibly strong, and held my head as if it was the most fragile thing this person could have ever held.

"Bella if you can hear me, I need you to open your eyes. The ambulance should be here soon."

Oh no.

Not him.

Please, anyone but him.

But when I opened my eyes, his burned into mine with so much concern that I could hardly find a way to form words.

"No….no ambulance. Water. Can't."

"Bella I'm afraid I don't understand you. Can you try to speak more clearly?"

I took a few breaths and focused on Edwards face. The emotion in his eyes was unlike anything I had ever seen before. It was something that burned with a volatile nature that appeared highly controlled on the outside. He was the puzzle that I couldn't solve.

"You followed me?"

The emotional storm occurring inside him was abruptly guarded, yet an intensity still remained. He looked as if he wasn't breathing.

"I can't explain."

"Can't, or won't?"

By this point, my head was still in his hands. Testing myself for more pain and nausea, I slowly tried to lift myself into a sitting position. I was immediately pushed down.

"You hit your head pretty hard; I wouldn't be surprised if you had a concussion."

"I think I can sit up now." My response was laced with defiance, making Edward sigh in resignation. As I sat up, the unexplained energy ceased to flow though me, and I instantly wanted it back.

"Edward what are you doing here? How did you know that I was in this accident?"

He debated before answering, "Alice."

"Alice." I echoed. "Wait, what does she have to do with anything?"

He sighed, "Bella I really can't afford to talk about it."

I could relate.

"Edward, I thought you were going to stop following me."

"I was— but then Alice… I couldn't let you—." He groaned. "Why is it so hard to talk to you?"

This was irritating for some reason. I pulled down the mirror to asses the extent of my injuries while I answered.

"Me? Why do you have to constantly barge in to my life when I specifically asked you not to? I mean wh—"

I froze. The gash on my forehead was bandaged. But that wasn't the worst part. My face was clean from make up.

Entirely clean.

Meaning that my marks were fully visible, and their luminescence was slightly visible due to the low quantity of light.

"Shit."

Edward was looking at me. Still guarded.

"Shit." I repeated.

"I'm sorry?"

"You bandaged my head?" my voice was steadily rising in volume. My hysteria and paranoia ran unchecked.

"Yes." His response was stoic.

"You can see them." I added in a slight whisper, but the fear was evident in my voice.

"Bella what do those mean? And I would have thought that you would be thankful that I saved your life, and stopped you from bleeding out."

He was right. I was eternally thankful, but some things just didn't add up.

"I saw you stand in between my truck and that van." By reflex I looked outside and saw the crushed van.

"The man is ok; by the way, I tended to him after I made sure you weren't going to bleed to death."

He said this with such ardor; as if my death would be the worst thing that could ever befall him.

"Don't change the subject! You should have gotten killed! Not that I want you dead or anything…"

"Bella, I really can't…"

His words hung there, as if the statement should have been finished. This saddened and angered me at the same time. Our respective secrets kept us from having an unguarded conversation. Or any kind of conversation. It angered me because even if I didn't want to admit it to myself, I had taken an interest to Edward. His actions puzzled me, drew me in with a force that was stronger than gravity. But though I really wanted to actually talk to him, I couldn't afford it because it was simply not feasible with so much to hide. Everything in our lives was a hindrance to our relationship.

"Will it always be like this?"

He looked forlornly out at the rain, without really seeing it. Conflicted resolve overtook his handsome features. Did this pain him as much as it pained me?

"It has to be this way."

His admission was something that twisted a needle in my heart. It hurt me more than it should have. And that was dangerous.

"You said that the ambulance would be here soon?"

"Yes, I can hear them now."

I began to panic. My breathing became erratic in mere seconds, and my head began to shake out of its own accord.

"No, no, no, no. I can't— they could find out! The rain… I just…"

"Bella please—"

"The water! This could ruin everything!"

"Bella—"

"My mother and I worked for months!"

Everything could crumble in minutes; I shouldn't have been in the truck when I woke up. It was irrational for me to have sat there waiting for the world to find out about the freak I was.

I was so caught up in my anxiety that Edward's attempts to make me relax were futile. That is, until he did something that was totally unexpected.

"Bella!"

"What!" I shouted back.

His voice was no louder than that of a normal conversation, but he said my name with such force that I couldn't have been able to look away from him, even if I wanted to.

He held my gaze for a fraction of a second, then ever so slowly, he raised his hands and placed them on either side of my face. The warm electrical current returned. Out of their own accord, my hands went up to his wrists. The intensity in his eyes never dwindled; it only increased when my skin made contact with his. He looked at me like I was…precious.

"Listen to me. Just calm down. You need medical attention, you hit your head and there is a possibility that it might be a concussion."

At this I began to shake my head again. "Edward you don't understand—"

"Wait, Bella. Just listen. What do you need? Tell me, and to the best of my ability, I will try to help you."

His face was no more than a couple of inches away from mine. His breath was the sweetest I had ever smelled, and instantly, the tension in my body began to dissipate. His gaze held mine, rendering my mind incapable of keeping an understandable line of thought.

His eyes… they were just… so deep, intense.

I ran a thumb over the back of his hand, feeling the smooth, cold, skin. His face seemed to say "trust me", and I desperately wanted to. I just didn't know how much I could trust him.

"Edward," I whispered, "Whatever happens, I cannot be on that ambulance. They cannot see the marks on my forehead."

"Bella, you need medical attention. You have to go to the hospital."

I was quickly becoming frantic again,

"Edward, I can't. It's dangerous for me!"

He let his hands slide off my face, and I quickly withdrew mine from his wrists, snapping from the trance we had been in. the rest of the world was once again, painfully real. He stared at the rain, his eyes pensive. I noticed that he still wasn't breathing.

I could hear the siren now. My impatience mounted.

"Here's, what I can do, I can tell the EMTs that you can't ride on the ambulance, that I can take you myself seeing as you have no severe injury—"

"Edward, what about my truck? I don't know the damage it obtained, and it will still have my vomit all over the floor; I hope I didn't get your shoes dirty. " I blushed as I mentioned my own vomit.

Yuck.

He looked at me with a smile, and carefully touched my cheek with his fingertips in a caress.

"Let me worry about that Bella. Let's just get you to the hospital."

The siren grew louder.

"I was headed over there anyway; I was told my mother was waking."

"I'm glad that your mother is getting better. Wait here."

Within seconds my door was open and Edward stood there holding an umbrella. His actions were becoming uncommonly fast; the appearance of the umbrella was unexplained, seeing as I didn't have one with me.

Regardless, I still couldn't take any chances.

"I need your jacket too. The water..."

My stomach clenched, worried that he was going to start asking more questions. Surprisingly, his curiosity, though evident in his eyes, was kept silent as he gave me his jacket. While he shouldered my bag, I slipped on the jacket, and his scent was thrown full force in my face. It was something entirely unique; no artificial fragrance could ever match it. There was no burn that characterized nearly all colognes. This was something that could come naturally. Did this guy have no body odor? I fought to clear my head of the dizziness the scent brought with it.

Edward cleared his throat, making me realize that I was just sitting there like an idiot. I let myself slide out of the truck and gingerly stepped onto the wet pavement; Edward was there to steady me with a hand on my elbow as we walked to his Volvo.

He opened the door for me, and no sooner than I was safely inside, I saw the ambulance stop just beyond the scene of the accident.

"Stay here; I'll go take care of them." He said as he placed my bag at my feet.

"Edward," I reached over and put my hand on his arm to stop him. His face showed the most unguarded awe as he eyed my hand. Instantly, I was self-conscious for being so bold. I withdrew my hand,

"My truck?" he had never specified what 'I'll take care if it' meant.

He smiled again, "I said I will take care of your truck. But right now I have to talk to them." He jerked his head in the direction of the EMT that was now walking towards us.

"But—"

"Bella, just trust me. Your truck will be cleaned and sitting in front of the hospital before you know it."

The moment he said the word 'cleaned' my face decided to color itself a lovely shade of red (sarcasm).

"Okay." He smiled wider.

"I'll be right back."

I was digging around in my bag for the make up to cover my marks the second the door closed.

As I spread the liquid over my forehead, I listened into the silence, trying to concentrate on whatever Edward was saying to the EMT. Through the sound of the rain (which was hardly more than a drizzle by now), I could barely catch words like 'ambulance', and 'trauma', but the overall gist was lost to me.

I took advantage of my small moment of privacy to appreciate the interior of Edward's car. Everything was spotless, but what caught my attention the most was his scent. Again.

The whole car smelled of Edward. It was absolutely intoxicating, and wondered how on earth, could someone smell this amazingly good without the use of any sort of fragrance.

I was still fussing with the makeup around my bandage, when Edward finally came back to the car.

"Was there much trouble?" I asked, still concentrating on my forehead.

"Not particularly, no."

Everything was silent for a few seconds. When Edward still hadn't started the car, I turned to him.

And I found him staring right back at me with that same unguarded, burning intensity. Suddenly I lost my ability to speak.

I knew he was bursting with questions inside; those molten gold eyes didn't make it any easier.

"What?"

"You shouldn't have to hide." He said this as if he was confessing a mortal weakness.

His admission surprised me nonetheless.

"Says the one who is hiding everything." I replied, turning back to the mirror to apply the final touches.

"Touché."

"We should get going, I'm done here anyway." The other man in the accident was already loaded in the ambulance.

Without another word, Edward started the car and followed the ambulance.

My thoughts drifted while he drove. Absently, my gaze shifted to Edward. He had followed me, even when I had told him to stop, to keep me safe. Annoyance was present, but it was at the very bottom of all the gratefulness I felt towards him. What amazed me the most, was that even after he knew that something was obviously wrong with me, he didn't press the matter. He was always there whether I needed it or not, in the most selfless of ways he had frequently been there. I felt that our rather flimsy relationship was oddly out of balance. Thus far, I had done nothing to show how thankful I truly was, and for that I felt guilt.

My fingers softly ran across the bandage on my forehead.

"Be careful, you don't want to open the wound again."

The silence was broken so abruptly, it startled me. My hand fell to join the other on my lap, I stared at them for a moment, while I gathered up the guts to speak.

"I really haven't thanked you for everything. You must think I'm a horrible person."

He stopped the car, and I realized that we were already at the hospital. Edward turned to face me.

"Bella, I could never bring myself to think that about you, so please, don't think that about yourself. You were stressed. That's all." His eyes looked at me with such tenderness that I had to look away before my eyes began to well up with tears with all of the emotion.

"I still don't know how to thank you. I was rude to you earlier today, and now I'm still here because you made that possible."

"Hey", he gently put his finger under my chin to make me look at him, "You really have no need to thank me, I would do it all again if I could."

At this I let out something that was in between a laugh and a sob, "Thank you, so much."

He flashed me a dazzling smile, "You're very welcome, Bella. Let's just go inside and get your head checked out. Okay?"

With a small smile of my own, I nodded. In seconds, he was at my door, holding out an umbrella for me.

"Bella, I can get my dad to check your head, he'll be very discreet, about everything." He said reassuringly as we walked towards the entrance.

I understood his meaning, and once again, I was drowning in amazement at what he was willing to do for me.

When we entered the hospital, I immediately spotted Jessica and Angela.

I had completely forgotten about them.

"Bella!" Angela rushed over to me.

"I'll take care of the paperwork." Edward whispered into my ear. His voice sent a shiver down my spine.

I nodded at him and turned towards Angela,

"Ang, I'm so sorry. There was an accident. The rain was terrible, and this van crashed into me."

"Oh my God Bella, are you ok?" Jessica had followed.

"For the most part, I'm fine."

"Wait, what is Edward doing here?" Gossip-oriented Jessica didn't disappoint.

I shrugged, "Edward was driving by and helped me with the worst of it." I pointed to the bandage on my forehead.

"Oh." She sounded disappointed, as if what I had told her wasn't what she was looking for.

"Well I'm so glad that you're ok." Angela said, with a smile.

"I'm so sorry I ruined the shopping trip though." My shoulders slumped, the guilt returned.

"Oh, don't worry about that, we can always postpone to sometime next week. What's important is that you're not injured too badly." I smiled and blinked rapidly to keep any tears from forming. What did I ever do to receive such kindness? First it was Edward, now Angela.

"Yeah it's ok." Jessica didn't sound like she agreed though.

But I couldn't dwell on it, because Edward reappeared at that time.

"Bella, we have to go. Excuse us, Angela, Jessica."

Angela nodded, "Sure, thanks Edward."

Edward gave her a nod and a small grin. With a hand on my lower back, he guided me to an examining room. I felt the familiar surge of electricity the whole way there.

When Dr. Cullen walked in, he was all business as he examined my head. His cold fingers felt along my injuries and watched for any reaction from me.

Edward was right.

Dr. Cullen was discreet. It was obvious that he could see a few hints of my not-so-human qualities, yet he kept to himself.

"Have you felt any dizziness, or problems with memory?"

"No, my head just hurts. That's all."

After a few x-rays and a couple of other tests (Edward had stayed during all of them), he concluded that I did indeed have a concussion. I was recommended some medication for the pain and of course, I was going to have to wake up every few hours that night.

Dr. Cullen stopped me before I left,

"Isabella, your mother is out of her coma, as I'm sure you were told before coming here. You may go see her, but she is very weak."

"Thank you."

"Edward, I need to talk to you, later this afternoon."

They stayed silent for two seconds, before Edward nodded and walked with me out of the room.

Weird. It was like they were having a silent conversation or something.

"Bella, I called your father, while you were talking to Angela. He should be here by now."

I turned towards him,

"Edward, what was that?" I gestured to the room we just left, "In there? You and your dad looked like— well…" that was the moment when my mind caught up with me. Why was I being so nosy?

"You know what, never mind. Forget I said anything."

Edward merely grinned, and brought his fingers once again to my cheek. All forms of coherent thought went out the window.

"Perceptive." His voice was a whisper, "Your father is waiting. I will see you tomorrow."

At that, my gaze turned skeptical.

"I promise. I will be there tomorrow."

I smiled shyly, "Ok, see you tomorrow then. Thanks again, for everything."

His hand dropped from my face, and with a final smile, I turned and headed for the entrance, where I saw a frantic Charlie, and a worried Phil.

"Bella! What happened?" Charlie was the first to reach me.

"I'm fine. The roads were too wet and a van lost control. I didn't get too hurt."

"Bella." Charlie's stern voice shamed me into telling the truth.

Well, not the whole truth.

"Okay, I just hit my head a little. With a pain medication I'll be all better."

Phil took the opportunity to speak, "Bella, are you sure you're ok? What about the bandage on your forehead?"

"It's really not as bad as it looks. Dr. Cullen said so himself." Yes, this part was a lie, but I really needed to get their attention off me.

"Have you gone in to see my mom?"

"Yeah, she keeps asking for you. You better go in soon, or else she might be sedated again." Phil urged me to go, but Charlie's broken expression caught my attention.

"Dad?" I tried to decipher what was going on inside through his eyes, but all he said was,

"Go on, kiddo. Don't keep your mother waiting."

At his insistence I reluctantly turned and went to my mother.

The moment I entered the room, my whole sarcastic façade I had used as a mask these past few weeks melted away, and I was left entirely exposed.

She laid there, her thin frame looking even more breakable since yesterday. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was even.

How was it that she kept looking worse? Could she not regain her health?

Numbly, my legs led me to the stool next to her bed, and sat down. With the heart monitor beeping its soothing rhythm, I took in my mother's appearance.

Her cheeks were sunken, and her skin was sickly pale. Most of her bruises were already gone, but there were still a few spots where her skin was stained yellow-green.

I gently slipped my hand into hers.

It was unnaturally cold, but I pushed the fact aside once she stirred from the half slumber she was in.

"Mom." I whispered.

She stirred, and opened her drowsy eyes to meet mine.

"Honey." Her voice was raspy and broke towards the end.

"How are you feeling?" The happiness inside me could not be repressed. Finally, my mother seemed to be out of danger.

She tried to smile, but only managed to make her mouth look lopsided, "Drowsy."

We both let out half hearted laughs.

For weeks, I had been waiting to be able to finally see my mom wake up again, bursting with things to tell her.

I was dying to tell her about the memory I had lived through, about Edward and how it seemed that I was getting attached to him, about Jacob and Billy Black, and my changes, and everything that had been happening ever since her accident.

But now, the silence settled around us like a thick blanket that was too heavy to remove.

A terrible, unspoken truth hung in the air. A harsh, cold silence.

It was something that pressed against my chest, a weight that could not be removed no matter how hard I was going to try.

"What is it honey?" Her feeble hand attempted to squeeze mine in encouragement.

Something felt wrong. She was too weak, and her temperature was too low. But I pushed that aside.

I sighed, "There's just so much to tell. I hardly know where to start."

"Well you can start by telling me about that bandage."

My body stiffened, "Mom, there is something else I have to tell you first."

I withdrew my hands, suddenly realizing that they were sweating.

"Bella?"

"Mom there's this guy—"

"No!" My mother's face paled even more than it already was.

"Bella, I told you! Nobody. Don't get close to anybody. This is very reckless of you. Bella have I taught you nothing?"

"Mom, you don't understand, he's… well… not normal."

With that my mom became even more agitated. The heart monitor was going crazy and her hands grasped mine with newfound strength.

"Mom! Mom, let me explain. Its fine, just hear me out!" I kept imploring her to calm down.

"Mom, if you don't calm down, they might come in to sedate you, and I have too much to tell you for them to do that."

We looked at each other, waiting for the monitor to return to a normal rhythm.

When she finally was stable enough she nodded at me to continue.

"My first day at school, he was strangely hostile. But the only thing he ever did was try to put more distance between us. That was the first time I noticed that there was something different."

My mother frowned, "What was it?"

It was evident that my hesitation was frustrating her.

"The handle to the office door was molded into his hand."

"Oh God no." My mother moaned as if she was in pain. She knew more than she let on.

"What?"

"Keep going."

I shrugged, knowing that she was hiding something, "Well, he was absent for the rest of the week, but when he came back, he found me in my art classroom. He apologized for his strange behavior, and gave me an apple because he noticed I didn't eat much at lunch."

My pause served to gauge my mother's reaction. She had narrowed eyes, but was still apprehensive of Edward.

"The day after your accident, he was so… caring." As memories of that afternoon flooded my mind, the words flowing out of me increased in speed. I no longer took care of editing my story.

"He noticed that my arms were bruised, but he didn't know why. I didn't tell him that I connected with the Mother. He thought I was being abused. But he didn't push for information when I refused to give it to him, he just helped me out to my truck, promised me that his father would do his best to take care of you—he's a doctor here—"

"You did what?"

That shut me up.

Crap. I just told my mother I had done the very thing she had forbidden me from doing.

"I went out to the accident, and went into your memories." My voice dwindled to a whisper.

"Bella." My mother suddenly sounded exhausted, she was shaking her head in disapproval.

"Mom, I did it. I, mean I haven't proven myself yet and I managed to get away with only a few bruises."

There was a touch of excitement in my voice, I couldn't help it.

"Bella, are you trying to get out of this? You know that there is a huge possibility—"

"Mom, I know. If anything, what I saw made me accept it a little more."

"Keep going, tell me about this boy."

"Mom, who was it that attacked you? He didn't even look human."

"Just keep going, Bella."

Warily, I continued, more conscious than before about everything that I said, and even more aware of my mother's dwindling strength, and her growing disquietude. My insides knotted in nervousness; her condition seemed to be rapidly worsening.

"Mom are you okay? Do you need to rest or something?"

She struggled to get enough air, "No…no, I'm fine."

I wasn't fooled, "Mom—"

"Keep talking… I'm fine."

Sighing in frustration at her obvious lie, I went on.

"Well that day I was telling you about. You should have seen the way he looked at me."

The gentleness, it was as if… but I couldn't make myself think of it.

"How?"

I rubbed my hands on my jeans.

"As if I meant something to him." I paused, "As if he cared."

She studied me for a second. I could discern nothing but the hopelessness in her eyes.

"Go on."

"At first I wasn't sure, if I was right about him. But, when I was on my way over here, it was raining too hard, and a van driving in the opposite direction lost control and crashed into me."

My mother had tears running down her face. She grasped my hands; her skin had gotten colder, and my heart began to pound. Was this normal?

I pushed forward.

"When I came to, he was there, holding me while I puked my guts out."

A smile overpowered my features at the memory.

"He had bandaged my head, and he saw my marks." My mother tensed even more, but waited for me to continue.

"Mom, he has secrets of his own that he can't tell me. So when I couldn't tell him, about…well, he understood and he did everything he could to keep me safe. He saved my life in that crash."

It was a while before she spoke again, but when she did, I wished she had decided to keep silent.

"Bella…stay away from him." Her gaze was stony, her voice firm, but no more than a feeble whisper.

My heart pounded with unexpected pain. It was with a dull ache in my chest that I finally came to terms with how deep I had fallen.

"Honey, you…" she breathed deeply "can't continue talking to him, he… is a threat to you and to everything I prepared you for." Her emphatic tone startled me. My mind rejected her words with blatant refusal. And I realized that to be able to stay away from Edward, I was going to have to be dragged away.

"Why? Does he have anything to do with the man in your memory?"

No matter how hard she tried, she could never keep anything important from me; I had always managed to force her to tell me the whole truth. But this time was different.

"No…no… I forbid you… from going after them… they would kill you without a second thought." To see her struggle so hard for breath made my throat tighten with unformed tears.

She's going to be okay with rest, I told myself. She had to.

She was forceful in her order; her expression was broken with pain, guilt and fear. This was the first time I had ever witnessed her give in to such feelings, and it scared me to the point where I could hardly move. She was the strongest person I knew, and here she crumbled under her perceived threat that Edward posed against me. Her speech was becoming labored; my instincts were screaming at me, but they were telling me something I did not want to hear.

More tears slid down her cheeks, "Why couldn't I avoid them? Now I'll have to leave you… so unprotected…" her breath was short, she had to gasp for more air now. My heart began to beat even faster; I blinked away the tears that were starting to form.

She confused me, "What do you mean? You're fine, and awake. You just have to get your strength back and—"

Her hand flew out to my cheek. I gasped.

"Do you feel that Bella?"

No…please. No…

"You're freezing mom. Do you need me to call someone? An extra blanket…"

She shook her head.

"No."

She was crying uncontrollably now. Tears welled in my eyes as pain ripped through my being. My mother shouldn't be in pain, she should be happy, relieved that I was ok. She was drifting away. Deteriorating too fast.

"Honey, the only reason I'm still here is because I still have reserves of power in me."

What?

"I don't understand." It couldn't be. I had begun to perceive the horrible truth, yet I refused to accept it. My head was shaking, and the tears began to fall.

"I'm already dead, Bella."

No…

I could have sworn my heart stopped. Denial followed.

"No! No, no you can't be! You're here; you're alive, and breathing!"

Silent tears.

"Don't- Don't… you can't! I need you; there is still so much I don't know!"

I broke before my mother like I had never allowed myself to show her before. I clutched her hand in between my own.

"Oh God…" I whispered brokenly as I continued to sob into my mother's hand.

My heart knew the truth. As much as I begged what ever forces that ruled our world to save her… I knew it was too late.

I was floating aimlessly in a turbulent sea. The rock I relied on was weathered away, exposing me—making me realize how truly weak I was.

All those times we had laughed together…all those moments I took for granted.

They were gone.

And so was she.

"I love… you, honey… Never forget… it." The crack in her voice held so much misery. So much weakness.

"You must….go on. Be… strong like… I know…you are."

I held onto her, hoping that if I didn't let go she wouldn't leave. We stayed there, gazing at each other, savoring the last moments we were to ever have together.

A little girl of five was crying in bed. Her mother ran into the room and wrapped her arms around her distressed daughter.

"It was only a nightmare Bella, you're okay."

"Mommy, you were going to leave." The girl cried miserably into the mother's shoulder.

The mother lovingly kissed the girl's forehead.

"Well that won't do will it? How about I make you a promise?"

The girl quieted in anticipation. The mother wiped the tears from her eyes

"I promise that from this day on, I will always be here for you. Forever."

"Forever and ever?"

"Forever and ever."

I closed my eyes against the pain of the memory. The safety a mother brings is unlike anything anybody could make you feel in the world. One simple, loving hug had the power to turn the darkest storm into something that you could conquer. It eradicated any sense of vulnerability and gave you the power to go on even when the world was hell bent on making you drown. The presence of a mother is vital for support in life or just somebody to be with when you need it. My mother was all those things and more. So much more.

She wasn't supposed to leave.

It wasn't fair.

As time passed, we both became silent. Neither one of us had the strength to talk.

It would have been useless anyway. There was simply too much to tell and not enough time to

tell it.

The heart monitor gradually began to pick up in speed.

"Mom, I love you." The small amount of composure was quickly falling again,

"Honey… it's almost… time… I can feel it." She croaked after a few minutes.

I could see it. She was so pale I could see the veins and arteries under her skin. There was the slightest tinge of blue. She could hardly breathe

"Mom no…" I was torn apart at the seams again

"Bella … are you sure… about him?"

I wished I was deaf in that moment. She was suffocating.

It was the most terrible sound I had ever heard.

"I, think so. We haven't…"

"Be… careful!" The machines were going insane. I couldn't take it anymore.

I jumped up to reach for the call button, but I was stopped by a freezing hand.

"Mom!" my voice broke…

She yanked me forward; her gasps hardly drew air for her. Tears from my eyes fell to her blue-tinged face.

"Black…go…" she gasped, and choked on her own saliva. "Talk…"

Her strength gave out. I wrenched myself from her grasp and slammed my hand down on the help button.

I flew to the door and shouted at the top of my lungs, for anyone who could hear.

"HELP!" A crowd of nurses were already running in my direction.

"Ma'am, we need you to step out of the room!"

Before I could do anything, I was roughly pushed out of the room. My body slammed onto the wall opposite the door. My hands pushed off it, I ran to the window.

Unrestrained tears bathed my face. I couldn't stop; without a doubt, this was the end.

My eyes wouldn't budge, my head screamed for nothing more than for me to turn away from the terrible sight, but I didn't move. The image of my mother being struck over and over by the defibrillator was burned into my retinas.

"Still in v-fib..."

My sobs shook my entire body, I felt like I was falling apart.

"Lungs are collapsing!"

"Charge…clear!"

"There is hemorrhaging in her eyes!"

"Charge… clear!"

I gasped for more air through my sobs as I froze in horror. As the jagged line fell to stillness, I couldn't help but feel as though the asystole was an incarnate of the black winged creature from my nightmare, come to steal my mother away from me forever.

It was over.

I was on my own.


Ookay...so yeah. It was my first time writing a dramatic death scene. I tried to draw from real experience, but (fortunately) I haven't experienced the death of my own parents so I don't know how terrible that would feel like. However, this past November, I lost my grandfather. It was a really painful experience, but it sort of helped me draw a little bit on those feelings one goes through when one loses a loved one. If it's not accurate at all, then I'm sorry, I did have several people read it before I published this and we worked hard on making this as realistic as possible. (Thank you Val and Clarisa! Both of you were a huge help in the making of this chapter!)

Now for the next chapter... I have a bit of a dilemma.

Though I have rough draft, it is missing several chunks and I really need your help. When you review (which I hope you do), give me your opinion on these two things:

Should the next chapter start at the funeral, or sometime after the funeral? and...

Should Bella go to the dance?

The final announcement for this note is that I'm happy to tell you all that Edward should find out what Bella is within the next two or three chapters, which means that all of you will find out what she is as well. I know that I'm probably frustrating a lot of you, but hold out for me for just a little bit longer... you will soon find out the biggest part of this mystery!

Thank you all so much again for following this story, and please review!