I lied! I said I was going on holiday! Well, I actually am, but I got up fairly early to post this before I left. Truthfully, though, I won't be able to post any more until at least Friday.

Oh dear, I still seem to be scarring people. Apology cheesecake to WobblyJelly.

Special thanks and pressies, of course, to Avada,(twice!) ChloefromMackMalls, justacoolharrypotternerd23, WobblyJelly and MarauderGirl71. for reviewing, etc.

And extra special thanks to ChloefromMackMalls who suggested the boy baby's middle name :D

Well, here we go. Chapter 9. Enjoy.


'Well, Firenze,' Dumbledore said, 'I'd say you've done well for yourself, except I wouldn't wanna be tied down to Umbridge- with three mini Umbridges!' he chuckled to himself at the centaur's apparent misfortune, but Firenze wasn't really listening. The two of them were finalising the birth certificates and plotting the date of the christening. As Dumbledore flicked through the papers, it became clear that the naming of the infants had been left to Umbridge.

'Dolores…' he read, 'what a surprise…Umbridge Junior, oh how original…er,' he turned to Firenze, fighting back the urge to laugh, 'why is your son called Ponytar?'

'Ask me not,' he replied cheerfully, 'for the naming of the spawn was all fair Umbridge's doing…'

'Yeah, I figured that,' Dumbledore said, 'well Firenze, pal, I got a date with the bartender from the Three Broomsticks, and then I got a meeting with Professor Rumbleroar to discuss the…ah…never mind, see ya later!' and he waltzed off, laughing.

'Ponytar Ralph Umbridge. Poor kid doesn't stand a chance!'


Umbridge woke up in the middle of the night with a pillow over her face, and it only took a few seconds before she realised why she'd put it there in the first place. The sound of crying filtered through her hearing- not for the first time that night.

'Shut up, chil'rens!' she called. 'Lights out! Mama needs her beauty sleep!'

The noise continued to persist. Umbridge groaned and got out of bed, before turning to look at Firenze. The centaur was, as usual, fast asleep, completely undisturbed by their children's cries. Umbridge, after wondering how it was possible that he managed to sleep through the night when she didn't get a wink, became rather angry at the idea.

She leaned over and shoved Firenze off the bed, hard, so he landed on the floor with a bump, and then she stormed out of the room.

As she reached the source of the crying, the woman's temper had not died down. She flung open the door.

'WHO DISRESPECTING UMBRIDGE?' she bellowed, frustrated. Needless to say the crying did not cease.

As the ex-security officer's eyes adjusted to the dim light, she noticed that, like almost every other time, Ponytar was the culprit. In Umbridge's opinion, he'd inherited all the worst qualities from both parents.

The two girls, as well as looking and acting like Umbridge did, had somehow gotten Firenze's centaur trait of being able to sleep through a hurricane, but this boy, on the other hand…

'Why you bein' such a lousy baby?' Umbridge said. 'Mama is tired of getting' on up for you, now be quiet or I will hoist you over mah head!'

She reached into the crib, but as soon as she had picked the infant up he was silent.

'Oh,' Umbridge said, a little nonplussed, 'dat's better.'

She took two steps towards the door, and the crying started up again.

Umbridge stomped back and lifted Ponytar out again- and the same thing happened.

The instant she picked the baby up, his wheedles ceased, and she was left with a perfectly quiet, calm infant.

And then it dawned on her.

The child was responding to her attention! He…loved her…because she was his Mama!

'Dat's cute…' Umbridge mused. She sat down, the baby still in her arms, gazing at his face and thinking.

From the moment Ponytar was born she hadn't liked him- she'd made no secret of that, although for some reason Firenze hadn't noticed. Originally, she and everyone else had assumed that it was the fact that Ponytar bore a resemblance to Firenze and not her.

Indeed, Little Dolores and Umbridge Junior were their mother in miniature- in looks AND personality, and perhaps, everyone thought, Umbridge couldn't see anything of herself in her son.

Wrong, in fact. Far from the truth- Umbridge could see in her third child more of herself than either of the others. While Little Dolores and Umbridge Junior were just like she was now, Ponytar brought back memories of the girl she was- the timid, cowering child she had been, curled up on the couch with a cheesecake.

And that scared her.

By giving the boy a pony sounding name, she had hoped to distance herself from him and turn him into a little Firenze instead, but at the last minute, for some inexplicable reason she'd relented and gifted the normal-sounding middle name 'Ralph' to the child.

'Mama doesn't know what to do with you, Ponyt…' she looked down at the infant again, but happy and asleep like this, the baby looked more like her than every before, and didn't seem like a 'Ponytar' at all.

'Um, Ralph,' she finished instead. 'But seriously, kid, you need to toughen up if you're ever gonna get ahead…'

She put him back in his crib, where Ponytar (sometimes called Ralph) remained perfectly calm and asleep.

Umbridge paused for a minute, then kissed the tip of her finger and touched the baby's forehead.

Of course she loved him, really. Well, she loved him at this moment in time, anyway.

When Umbridge got back to her own room she was no longer angry with the babies- or Firenze.

The centaur was curled up on the floor, fast asleep- he hadn't even woken up when she'd pushed him out the bed.

Umbridge sighed to herself, and in a display of immense strength, picked up the slumbering Firenze, hoisting him over her head before putting him back on the bed.

The Centaur Tree Village was quiet now.

Umbridge climbed back into bed, listening to the silence for a little while before she too dropped off, and dreamed of snapdragons, falcon eggs and teaching the babies to text.


That ended up being rather more angsty than I intended...oh dear, Umbridge angst. At least she's starting to bond with the babies.

Hmm... teaching the babies to text...that may feature in one of the later chapters...if you're lucky. In the meantime, who returns next chapter? Will Umbridge and Ponytar ever get along?

And, for fifty house points, where did the name Ponytar originate? Two correct answers. Clue: It may not have been originally spelt that way.

Yes, and I am working under the mentality that Firenze doesn't have a last name, so they're all called Umbridge. Which means that, technically, one of them is called 'Umbridge Junior Umbridge', but oh well...