A/N: This story takes place before DOGHOUSE, GIRLFRIEND, CARAMEL, and any other ones released on YouTube but not in the US as of 6-30-07
"Bingo." Numbuh 5 whispered. "Just what Abby was lookin' for." She reached back into the crevice and took out the small box, blowing dust off the lid. "Ain't seen this in a long time."
She threw an anxious look back. Stickybeard and the others were still trying to blow the large engraven door leading to the tomb. Long John Stupid, Nough, and Latier were all rooting about by the statues where she had told them to look. No one was watching her just now.
Casting a final cautionary look around, Abby crouched over the box and opened it. A smile broke across her face.
Inside lay an old and moldy caramel, its days of sweetness long dead and gone. An iron ring was fixed in the top, and through that was tied a dirty leather cord.
Abby breathed a sigh of relief and quickly drew the cord over her head, tucking the caramel into the ragged folds of her tunic. A quick push hid the small box back in the crevice, and Abby carefully fitted the brick back into place before turning back to rejoin the pirates.
Stickybeard glowered at her as she came running up. "Yer sure that the Konfounded Caramel Crown of Kandacrunchalan be behind here? I be staking a lot on this one, lassie."
"Oh, yeah, Abby's sure." Numbuh 5 nodded vigorously. "She didn't have the manpower to do this last time she was here, but the map was very clear. Chief Kandacrunchalan hid his tings back there alright."
"Ye better be right, matey." Stickybeard cast an anxious glance to the north. "It's been a while since I tangled with the Marshmallow Mayans."
"Aw, relax, wouldja?." Abby glared at him, annoyed. "As long as we work through this stuff fast, they won't have no time to get down here, and even if they does, we got enough firepower to hold 'em back for a few seconds."
A sudden commotion distracted them, "We found it! We found it, missie!" Long John Stupid came running forward with a huge stone pillar in his hands. "It wuz buried in the bushes alongside the wall!"
Scratching his head in confusion, Stickybeard glanced over at Abby, who nodded complacently. "Good, John. Now stick it into the hole, an' just push hard to turn it."
"Yes'm" Long John Stupid shoved his way through the pirates crowding the door and heaved the pillar into the hole in it. The other pirates stepped back to watch as he carefully tested it to make sure it was secure, then threw his weight against it.
"Come on, guys, help him out here!" Abby dashed forward, pushing her back against the beam and digging her feet fruitlessly into the ground. "We're gonna need some muscle to move this here door!"
The pillar shuddered as pirates threw themselves against it. Nough and Latier crashed into it just next to her, and she saw the tall, lanky form of Bubbleosa bent double against it farther down the line. The beam seemed to bend back, then rebound, then remain stubbornly still. Six-and-forty able seaman and one scrawny little girl strained and heaved at an immobile stone pole sticking from an immobile rock door.
Abby heard a sudden pounding, and a huge heavy mass of leather and hair thudded into the pole next to her. Looking up, she found herself staring at the bushy red beard and eyebrows of Stickybeard himself. "Right lads, all together now, push!" He shouted.
Abby grinned and shoved her boots into the ground.
Whether the Captain gave them the final impetus to move, or whether from all the pirates pushing on his command, it would be hard to say, but Abby felt the pole grind forward a pace or two.
"Again!" Called the captain.
Boots dug in and shoulders strained.
Another grinding gain, and the wall was beginning to turn, opening a small crack.
"Once more!"
And the whole line of pirates heaved back and crashed against the beam.
A short grind, and then suddenly the pole was gone, and pirates, captain, and girl were sprawling on the grass, before a wide open door.
"No, but seriously, lassie, this be the best haul we had in many a-year." Stickybeard nodded confidently at Abby as the two walked along on the trail toward the beach. A candy crown dangled from Stickybeard's hat, and another from Abby's red bandanna. "Long has it been me dream to have one a' the Konfounded Krowns of King Kandacrunchalan."
"Yeah, well, Abby's just glad she could help out, is all." Abby cast a downward look to check on the tiny caramel bouncing on her necklace.
"Oh, this be help indeed, lassie!" Stickybeard cast a somewhat overenthusiastic arm over her shoulder. "The mates have been hungrin' for a good slice of candy piratin' for many a day now, and thanks to ye, now we have it!"
"Yeah, yeah." Abby shrugged off Sticky's arm and stood, hand on hip. "Well, you just keep it in mind next time I'm wantin' to go someplace, okay?"
Stickybeard laughed heartily and thumped her on the back. "Matey, tis' done! Just say the word and we'll be off!" He suddenly took a look up to the front and grimaced. "Now, if ye'll be excusin' me, I see me crew needs help with the distributin' of the goods."
Stickybeard stumped away, shouting. Sighing, Abby shook her head, and eased herself to a seat underneath a spreading palm tree. "Abby, what you gonna do about all this, girl?" She murmured.
"Excuse me, miss?"
Glancing up, her eyes met a sea of pink and blue, edged in lace. "Oh, hi John." She sighed. "Ya wanna sit down here?"
"Uh, yeah, thanks miss." John's ponderous weight heaved to the ground. "Uh, miss, I have a question fer ya…"
Abby froze. This could be bad. "Ye-e-ah…?"
"Uh…" John thumbed his nose, a trifle distracted as he hesitated. He bit down on his lip hard a moment, then suddenly burst out. "When is we gonna go after them Pearly Whites fer the captain?"
Oh. Abby let out the breath she'd been holding. Not so bad then. Still pretty difficult to answer though, since the blamed things didn't exist. "Preetty soon. Why ya askin?"
"Well, it's just that…" John looked around as if afraid someone might hear him. "The captain ain't getting' any younger, y'know, and the more candy he eats, the faster his teeth'll fall out…"
"Yeah." Abby nodded. "Abby knows. She's finding those Pearly Whites jest as quick as she can."
"Oh, goodie!" Long John clasped his hands together. "That's great news, miss. I was worried you'd stopped looking."
"Oh no. Not Abby." Abby laughed, but shook her head. Long John was despairingly easy to lie to. "She'll get the stuff for the Captain in plenty of time, don't you worry none." She cast a confused look at the big pirate. "Why you so worried about old Sticky anyway?"
John's small stupid eyes widened in alarm at the question. "Well… uh…. I… uh… he's the cap'n, isn't he?"
Abby snorted. "Yeah, but that ain't no explanation. It's not like you guys need to swear any kind a loyalty like we usedta in the KND, and even if you did, that don't mean you'd worry about him like this. Jest cause you obey somebody, don't mean you like them all the time." A grin spread across her face as she continued. "An' anyway, pirates don't even worry about obeying captains so much. They pretty much do whatever they blamed feel like."
Looking up, she saw John playing with his fingers, mumbling. "So what is it, John? You don't need to hang around him all the time like ya do, none of the others even pretend to care about the old sourball. Why do ya foller him around like a dog?"
She studied him curiously. John was staring at the ground, blinking rather oddly. His left hand pulled at the thick fingers of his right, and the broadcloth tie he wore moved up and down in a very strange manner.
When he finally chose to reply, it did not seem to properly answer her question.
"Ya know how I said that one time, how candy's the only thing that makes life happy sometimes? How it's so sweet it makes you forget how bitter life is? "
"Yeah." Abby nodded. "yeah, I member, John."
John pressed further. "Y—y—ya don't think I'm stupid fer thinking that, do ya?"
"No." Abby shook her head. "No, Abby doesn't so"
"Well, it's just that…" John stopped, shook his head, and gave up. "Ya see… When I wuz little, I had an older brudder, name of Jim. He was a nice enough brother when we was both little tykes. He'd take me down to the harbor and we'd sneak aboard to snatch some sugarplum. We slept together" John's eyes got a sort of brightness Abby had not noticed before. "I follered him everywhere."
John looked down again. "Later, though, when Jimmie got older, he got tired of all the old games we usedta play, and started to go off with some of his other friends. He tolld me to stop follering him everywhere. Sometimes he and his buddies would play tricks on me, and they'd all laugh." John blinked. "They weren't really very funny."
Abby stared at John.
"As time got on, " John continued. "Jim got to goin' out and staying late. When he'd come back, he'd walk all kinda funny and he'd smash stuff all over the place. Sometimes I'd try to get up and help him, but he'd usually just knock me down and keep stumbling to bed."
Large, potato-size drops trembled on the edge of John's eyes, but he kept on. "H—h--he didn't really mean to, ya know. He always said he was sorry in the morning, but then he'd go out and do the same thing all over again." John bit his lip. "But he was sorry. And he still looked after me, jest like he always usedta."
"Still, it was kinda hard." John brushed a sleeve across his face. "And I had to get used to it fast. I got big and strong, cause Jim wasn't working as much as he used to anymore, and sometimes I needed to work some. But I always gave Jim some, when he asked." John's eyebrows furrowed, troubled. "He never asked nicely, though. Never said Please, or Thank ye. Nuthing. But I knew he needed it." He looked over at Abby. "I know you don't know, miss, but ya gotta understand, its awful to have a brother like that."
Abby nodded. "I think I know what ya mean, John. It ain't easy."
"Well, one day." John bit down on his lip. "Jim went out to work at the docks. But he didn't come back. I checked all the candy bars in town—Snickers Saloon, Twist Tavern, Peanut-Butter Pub. Nothing. I asked Jim's friends, and they said he'd taken ship with some new cap'n, so he could get away from that annoyin' punk, they said." John frowned. "They was lying. Jim wouldn't never say that. So I went down to the dock, to wait for Jim."
He stopped and paused for breath. His chest heaved and he snuffled rather oddly.
"What happened, John?" Abby asked, anxiously.
"He was gonna come." John mumbled, but not to her. "He was gonna. I shoulda waited longer. But after three months, I got kinda lonely. I could unload ships and stuff, but I ran out of jobs, and it wasn't very nice, sleeping under the docks every night."
"And then…" John got a kinda wistful look. "One day, I wake up, and there's this red sticky candy cane sticking in my face. I wuz so hungry, I just grabbed and ate it all down before I realized it was a sword. And there's this big cap'n, saying he needs extra hands for his ship, and would I work for him. And then he sees what I did to his sword and he says, laddie, ya must be starvin' fer a bit a candy. Take a burpleberrry sucker, why don't ye. "
John smiled, a little. "So I went to work for the Cap'n. He let me have all the candy I wanted, and he always treated me fair and honorable-like. Sometimes he wuz a little rude, sure, but he always was a good cap'n, and he never turned on me."
John turned around to face Abby. "The cap'n was the one who took me in and helped me out, when I hadn't a friend in the world. D---d--do ya understand now why I foller him all the time?"
Abby nodded, slowly. "Yeah. I think I do, John."
"N—n—no you don't!" John wailed. "Y—y—you don't understand!" Big tears trickled down John's fat cheeks. "You can't understand what it is to lose a brother like that!"
"No, John," Abby shook her head. "I think Abby does. Abby understands…"
KABBOOOOM!
An explosion rocked the air, startling the two out of their talk. They glanced sharply to the beach to see smoke pouring from the side of the ship.
Stickybeard came panting up the path, waving his arms frantically. "Treason, mateys! We be under attack! Git to the ship, it's the Mayans, I know it is!"
"C--Come on, John!" Hauling herself from the world of pity she had sunk to, Abby jumped to her feet, snatching at her sword. "Let's git on down there!"
Still blubbering a little, John lumbered after the female fury as dark figures came boiling up from the water.
That night, Abby heard once again the familiar buzzing in her ear. She bit off the last of the Three Musketeers and pressed her ear to her head. "Yeah?"
"Hey Numbuh 5, its Numbuh 2 here."
"Oh. Yeah." Abby picked the case of tootsie rolls out of her hammock and tossed it to the floor, ignoring the startled grunt from below. "Hi, Hoagie." It occurred to her that Hoagie must be waking up very early to send her evening calls.
"Hi." There was a slight pause of static. Abby unwrapped a tiny piece of chocolate and stuffed it in her mouth. Again the radio crackled. "So… What've you been up to lately, Numbuh 5?"
"Oh, not much." Abby paused. "We got some more treasure today. Raided the Marshmallow Mayan pyramids to get it, but we got by okay. Them natives didn't try nothing. Whatchoo been up to?"
"Not much." She heard a slight hesitation. "I'm going to be working on some more experiments in the next couple days. Real advanced stuff. Beyond what I've even done at KND even."
"Gotten anywhere on that navy thing?"
"Uh…" Another little pause. "Kinda. I'm gonna be taking out some ships in… in… in about a couple weeks or so."
Ordinarily a reply like this would have aroused Abby's suspicions, but for some strange reason it didn't even register tonight. "Fine. Whatever works."
"Uh, yeah." Another small pause. Then: "Look, Numbuh 5, don't tell Numbuh 86, but actually I'm leaving today with Amerigo to test some new Airship thingie I designed. We've got the whole Armada with us today and everything, so you could attack, but I really, really, want to test this thing so do you think you could wait until after cause I'd really like to get it done and it'd be a big help to the KidsNextDoorand…"
"Sure." Abby sighed.
"Oh!" A slight pause. "Well… great! Thanks, Numbuh 5! You're the greatest!"
"Whatever." Abby sighed. "Anything else you got to say, Numbuh 2?"
"Ummmm…." She heard Hoagie think. "No. Not really, I guesss.
"Okay. Things is going great here too. Goodbye."
She pressed the radio off with a small click, then sat up on her bunk and rubbed her eyes. She cast a look down to her hammock and grabbed a handful of gumdrops before cramming them all in her mouth
"Hey, Bubbleosa." She called, in an undertone, to a dark form just climbing into his hammock. "How's Long John?"
The darkness raised up a sleepy head. "E's okay, missus. He took a pretty bad hit from that one fella, but it takes a bit to knock down old John."
Abby smiled. "That's good to hear. He went down pretty quick."
The darkness nodded. "Yeah. I think it was kinda a strain for him to jump like that, though. He ain't used to it. Good thing the shot didn't hit you. That shot woulda knocked you flat."
"Sure woulda." Abby nodded. "It's a good thing John jumped like that."
"By the way." The darkness lowered itself down to the bunk. "That lubber in the brig downstairs keeps asking fer ya."
"That guy?!" Abby sat up somewhat straighter. "Why, what'd he say?"
"Aw, nothing much." The darkness shifted on the hammock, getting comfortable. "Just to say he wants to talk to ya. Says it was an accident and all. Says to tell ya his name's Numbuh 20,000." The dark form grunted, its voice already drifting into sleepiness. "What a name. Anyway, he wants to talk. Oh, and he wants a phonecall."
The darkness subsided into snoring, as Abby slowly and deliberately bent back down to her bunk, careful not to upset the many candy bars, suckers, gummi worms, and sugarplums littering her bunk.
Numbuh 20,000. So she had seen correctly.
It had all been so fast. Explosions had been going off everywhere, and the water seemed alive with those dark, rubber-clad monsters. Swords had been flashing and guns going off, she hadn't even known what she was doing when she grabbed the leader and smashed him against the ship like that.
But that was no excuse. Abby was a seasoned operative of the KND and had been in more battle situations than she could count. She should've been on top of the situation from the first. Even if 20,000 had shot at her, that was no reason to attack him like that.
But how dare they attack her, attack her! Sure, she had missed a few call-ins with central command in the past week or so, but she had everything under control, and there was no reason to send those butchers in to blow up the ship on some supposed rescue. She had every right to react like that!
Still, Abby felt her hands tremble as she lay down on her hammock. She wondered if 2 would call back. After all, she had ended the call rather abruptly, and he might wonder if the transmission had been broken off. But she doubted it. He had sounded rather distracted when he called, and certainly not very interested in what she was doing.
She let her head fall onto her pillow. In the dark, she could see a red light blinking on her KND wristwatch. She should call up Numbuh 86 now, she knew, with Numbuh 2's report and an explanation of the attack.
Abby looked at her watch, at the dark form, at the candy all over her bed.
She could always call tomorrow, she decided.
Arrgh! What a lot of writing. Sorry for all of you who read this, but thanks for slogging to the end. Now that you have…
READ & REVIEW!!!
Anyway. Not much to say about this one. Hope everyone likes the stuff on Long John Stupid, it kinda came outa nowhere. Like I said at the beginning, this is before all the second half of this last season. I thought up the story before I saw them, and now there have been changes that affect my story. So I'm gonna say this takes place sometime between PARTY and PLANET. I think. I have no idea, but I know it comes before GIRLFRIEND (Which I haven't seen) and after SPINACH (duh) So we'll say it's an insert, and unfortunately that also means that probably very little will drastically change.
Has anyone else heard about CN's plans to cancel KND? Is there some kind of petition we can get together?
Next time: Hoagie's experiments in the Spanish Sea.
