Chapter Nine- "Too Late"
Present Time.
Deeks paced back and forth, he hadn't really known what to do with himself after the doctor left. It had already been five hours and there was still no word. Though there was work to be done everyone was in the waiting room waiting for news on Kensi. Nell and Eric had come a few hours after Kensi was brought into surgery. Deeks had told himself if Kensi survived this somehow this was all going to be made right. He didn't know how it was going happen, but somehow it was going to be okay. Deeks stopped pacing and walked over to the window. He started staring off into the night.
"You never ever ever know what the hell you're talking about because you never say what you mean." Kensi said as she got up and stormed off to her bike. She sits down and started to put her helmet back on. Deeks gets up and walked over to her. "It's so frustrating, it's like working with a fourteen…" He cuts her off by pulling her into a kiss.
"How's that for communication?" Deeks asks as he pulled away from the kiss.
Deeks heard footsteps; he looked over to see Callen standing next to him holding a cup of coffee. Callen was the last person he'd see standing next to him. He figured Mia maybe or Hetty, but not Callen. He took the cup from Callen.
"Thanks," Deeks said to him.
"She's going to be fine," Callen said.
"I know she's a fighter," Deeks said to her. "I'm worried she's not going to fight anymore. She's been gone for three months and believes she's lost everything and now… I'm just worried she's going to think there is no reason to fight."
"That isn't who Kensi is," Callen said. "Aren't you the one that said you knew her better then me?"
"Yeah," Deeks said. "And it's why I believe this."
"You can't think like this," Callen said. Before Deeks could respond they heard the others getting up from their chairs. Callen and Deeks turned to see the doctor walking over to them. Deeks walked over to the doctor.
"How is she?" Deeks said.
"She's out of surgery," The doctor said to him.
"They are family, so you can tell too." Deeks said.
"We are going to monitor her and the baby, but she should make a full recovery," The doctor told him.
"I'm sorry could you say that again?" Deeks asked.
"She is going to fine," the doctor said to him, before walking away.
"She told me…" Deeks said.
"Deeks what is going on?" Hetty asked.
"I asked her and she told me," Deeks said not sure how to wrap is mind around this. He turned to the group and they all looked as confused as he was.
"You knew Kensi was pregnant?" Callen asked.
"Yeah," Deeks said to him.
"How long have you known?" Callen asked. "You son of a bitch." Deeks knew Callen had remembered something, possible the fact that Deeks had yelled at him asking if he ever thought about of it affected Kensi.
"She asked me not to say," Deeks said. "I was respecting her wishes."
"And when she vanished without a trace did it ever occur to you to say a damn thing?" Callen snapped at him.
"You are really yelling at me right now?" Deeks snapped back at him. "You have no right to yell at me. It was Kensi's choice not to tell you. She only told me because I asked her if there was anything else, any secrets that could come back."
"So for the last three months you have known this, and known Kensi was running away," Callen said. "How did you walk into work knowing all this?"
"It was easy," Deeks said. "You made it easy."
"Gentlemen," Hetty said finally stepping in. "We are here for a reason. Ms. Blye is still in this hospital, let us no tare each other a part outside her room."
"So did you keep it from me to punish me or just out of spite," Callen said.
"I kept it from you out of respect for a co-worker and friend," Deeks said. "Unlike you I respect the people I care about. It wasn't my place to tell you, so I didn't say anything."
"G back off," Sam said. "I think one of you needs to take a walk."
"I think Sam's right," Mia said jumping in.
"I'll leave," Deeks said before walked out of the waiting area. He was going to just walk around the hospital for a bit maybe get come fresh air, but some how he ended up in front of Kensi's door. He quietly opened the door and headed into the room. He walked over to the chair sitting next to her bed and sat down. "You know it's funny, I never figured myself for the bedside confession type, yet here I am. I care about you Kensi so much; I have for a long time. I don't know how things got so mess up, but they did. Almost losing you made me realize how much everything got screwed up and how much I love you. I just don't know if the good out ways the bad." Deeks started to say to Kensi. He didn't know if she could hear him or not, but he still needed to say it. "I told you that you were the reason I am here, and I meant it, but I think I'm done. I can't do this anymore, I won't do this anymore. We are all just fooling ourselves thinking we can move past this. So after this case I'm done. I will make a promise to find out who did this, but after that I'm going back to LAPD." Deeks said to Kensi. He then got up from his chair and moved closer to Kensi. "Just know I want you to be happy." Deeks then kissed her forehead, before heading out. He turned around one last time. "It's been nice knowing you Fern." Deeks said before he walked out of the room. Deeks then walked back into the waiting room and everyone was still there. Deeks walked over to Hetty. "I am going to find out who did this to Kensi, that is a promise. After that I'm done."
"If this is how you feel," Hetty said. "Then I will respect your wishes."
"I will need everything you have and know about this case," Deeks said to her.
"Understood" Hetty said.
Kensi had slowly come to just as Deeks told her he was going back to LAPD, that he wanted her to be happy and it was nice knowing you Fern. She couldn't help but learns tears fall from her once she knew Deeks was gone. She knew this was the end, the end she desperately was trying to keep from happening. She was only fooling herself thinking things would go back to normal. Things would never be normal again. Not they all just needed to figure out a way to get through this. Kensi then heard a noise she looked over to see Callen walking in. She sat up and watched as he walked over to her bedside.
"The last thing I want to do is upset you," Callen started to say. "I just want to know why you didn't tell me?"
"I wasn't trying to keep it from you forever, I just wanted to wrap my mind around it first," Kensi said to him. "What was supposed to be a couple of days or a week to get my head all figured out turned into months. I found something I hadn't had in a while."
"What was that?" Callen asked.
"Peace, clarity," Kensi started to say. "I was able to think things through. I think I understand why I did this and that it's what I needed to figure out for the most for myself."
"Were you ever going to tell me?" Callen asked.
"Yes, I just wasn't sure how," Kensi said. "But I knew it was going to been soon. I'm sorry Callen."
"I'm sorry too Kens," Callen said to her.
AN: Not really how I thought about the story going, but guess it's where it needs to go. It gives me a new direction to go with, so it might be interesting to see how that goes. So next few chapters might take some time, one have some school projects due and two working out minor details. Possibly another story too. Hoping to have the next chapter up by the end of the week.
