Hey everyone! I don't own these characters. I bet you all have just been dying to find out what Lily is going to say now that she knows James's and the Marauders secret! Well, lucky you, because you're going to find out right... now.

P.S: haven't gotten many reviews lately, CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM NOT ONLY WELCOMED, REQUESTED!

Thanks!

Silence.

That's all there was.

Outside, people were talking and laughing as they reunited with their families or hunted down belongings.

But none of that reached the pair of Gryffindors sitting in their compartment. Lily's expression hadn't changed. She still stared at him with angry defiance.

James was beginning to get worried. Had she not understood? Maybe she didn't believe him. Or worse. What if she didn't care?

"So," Lily said finally. "Let me get this straight."

She paused for a moment and when James nodded, she went on.

"Remus is a werewolf," she said. James nodded his confirmation. "And the three of you are illegal Animagi because you want to be there with him when he changes?

"Uhh- yeah. Basically." James said, still apprehensive about her reaction.

Lily didn't say anything more. Still wearing the same expression she turned her head to her knees. Her red hair fell like a curtain, hiding her face. Slowly, she reached up her hand to wipe something from her face. A tear?

"Hold it! Are you crying?" James was on his feet now, half wanting to reach out to her, half unsure. This kind of reaction was definitely not what James had expected.

Lily looked up at him with a sheepish expression.

"You must hate me." she said.

James stared at her with incredulity.

"Hate you? What the hell are you talking about?"

Lily felt awful. "All this time. All I've been doing is complaining about you and thinking of myself. What I felt. And all this time Remus has had to live through being a werewolf! It's horrible!"

James ran his hand through his hair. "Don't feel bad. Remus doesn't want pity anyway-"

"And what's worse," Lily went on, completely ignoring James. "The entire time I was thinking that you needed to be kinder to me than to your friends. I never even thought about them! All of you - you're so brave! Being an Animagus takes really, really advanced magic! And you all did for your friend! I- I- I wish I had that kind of bravery."

She didn't like it, but tears kept springing to Lily's eyes. She was sick of this! Every time she was with James her emotions ran haywire. How was it that she could be ready to murder him one second then bawling her eyes out the next?

James still had his hand hanging in midair ready to help, but unsure if she wanted him to.

Finally, he just decided to touch her face and wipe away her tears.

"Please stop crying," he said. "I don't want your family to think I made you cry."

Lily laughed. "Well, you did!"

James smiled. "Yeah, well- They don't have to know that."

Lily laughed again. "Speaking of which, we ought to go find them before they worry."

The two of them left the compartment. As they made their way

Then her face became serious again.

"Look," she said, turning to face James.

"Yeah?"

She sighed. "These last few days have been... no, I don't want to start with that."

James was confused. What was she trying to say?

"Er- I'm not so sure how to explain this," Lily tried again. "But I want to try again."

Confused, James didn't say anything, hoping she would explain a bit more.

Lily bit her lip. "I mean, this last week of school was just too much, you know? It's like, one minute Sev is my friend, and then he's not. And then I yell at you, and then I'm your friend, then I'm not. And now I find out about Remus and the rest of you. Things are just, I don't know, moving quickly." She looked into his face, begging him with her expression to understand. "You know?"

James smiled. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

She gave him a relieved smile. "Good. All I'm saying is that we should just start over. Just be mates." She nudged him with her shoulder.

James laughed. "You got it, mate." This was good. This was comfortable. No pressure to impress her. No agony over keeping secrets from her.

Lily beamed. "Don't worry. I won't tell your secret to anyone, and I won't bother the others by talking about it with them."

A sinking feeling suddenly entered James's stomach. Sirius still didn't know that Lily knew. Oh well, as long as she didn't talk to him about it...

James smiled, hoping his apprehension didn't appear on his face. "Alright, let's go. Time for the holidays."

The two made their way back to the platform. Lily grabbed her trunk. "You'll write?" she asked.

He laughed. "Of course! See you!" He waved as Lily disappeared into the mass of steam and happy people.

"James! Oh, James!"

A dark-haired woman had just appeared from the steam.

"Mum!"

Mrs. Potter ran to James and enveloped him in a bone-crushing hug.

"Oh, James! It's so nice to see you again! Did you have a good term?"

"Yeah, it was excellent. Where's Dad?"

Mrs. Potter's expression suddenly became bleak. "His health has gotten worse. But he sends his love, and he wants to see you."

James examined his mother. Her hair seemed grayer than it had last time he'd seen her, and there were circles under her eyes. Was it his imagination, or did she look thinner?

Mrs. Potter sighed. She levitated James's trunk for him and the two made their way to the barrier. James's mum asked him thousands of questions about his schoolwork, his O., his friends, anything that came to mind. James answered all her questions with patience. After all, he hadn't seen her since Easter.

"Oh! That reminds me! Mum, can Sirius stay with us for the holidays?"

His mother smiled. "Yes, of course! Sirius knows he's always welcome to stay with us. What a polite young man."

James struggled to keep a straight face. It wasn't very often that someone called Sirius "a polite young man." Still, Sirius was raised in a strict pureblood household. He knew how to be a gentleman when the time called.

"Excellent! Thanks, mum."

After a quick side-along Apparation, James was back at the Potter mansion. As his mum let the spell levitating his trunk die, their house elf, Cheeky, ran into the front room, wearing a bed sheet like a toga.

"Young master has returned from school!" Cheeky exclaimed. "Cheeky hopes master had a good term!" He bowed low.

James smiled. "Yeah, I did. Thanks Cheeky!"

"Cheeky, how is Mr. Potter?" James's mum asked with concerned eyes.

Cheeky's large, bat-like ears drooped. "Master still has not woken up."

Mrs. Potter sighed. "Very well. Cheeky, please take James's things to his room."

Cheeky bowed low, then with a loud CRACK, both Cheeky and the trunk were gone. James suddenly smiled at a memory of Lily surrounded by a bunch of eager-to-please elves just a few days ago.

"Come along, James. Your father wants to see you." Mrs. Potter called. James followed her until they reached the room that his parents shared. He quietly entered. His mother was gently nudging his father and saying things like "wake up, darling. James is here to see you."

"Hmm? James?" Mr. Potter sat up. James had to hold his breath to keep from gasping. His father looked so old. His skin was pallid and his eyes looked dead. Still, he smiled when he saw James. "How are you, my boy?"

"G-good. You okay, Dad?" James said as he walked to his father's bedside.

"Yes, I'm fine." he wheezed. "You're mother's taking good care of me."

He smiled at his wife sitting at the foot of the bed. Mrs. Potter smiled reassuringly at him, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes.

"So," Mr. Potter coughed. "How is Hogwarts, James? Still getting into trouble with those mates of yours? Kissed all the girls in school yet?"

"James is too young for that kind of thing!" Mrs. Potter exclaimed, aghast.

Her husband chortled. "Nonsense! He's fifteen! Well? Is there a girlfriend in the picture."

Mrs. Potter frowned, but James only chuckled and said "Something like that." Well, it was true. After all, Lily was a girl. They were friends. Had Lily heard him say that, she would have been outraged. The thought just made James smile.

"That's my boy!" his father beamed.

Mrs. Potter just rolled her eyes. "Men," she said.

Just then, James's father burst out into a fit of coughing. James's happiness over Lily began to fade. Seeing his father so tired and pale made him feel helpless.

"Darling, I think you need some rest." Mrs. Potter said, her voice full of concern.

Her husband sighed. "Perhaps you're right. Well then, I'll continue the subject later. Don't think I'm finished with you until I've heard every detail about this girl." Mr. Potter winked at James and then laid down to rest.

James and his mother backed out of the room quietly. As his mother shut the door, James turned to her.

"Don't you think you should call a healer? What if he needs to go to St. Mungo's?"

She glared at him. "Nonsense. I'm taking good care of him. We don't need those silly little healers. They just get in the way."

"Mum! What if Dad's not getting any better? At this rate, he might-"

"Don't!" his mother snapped. "Enough of this! Go to your room and unpack! Aren't you going to write to Sirius?"

"Sirius doesn't need to come. Not with Dad in this state! Let me help you take care of him."

"No! I'm handling it just fine. Besides," she said. "It's important for you to be with boys your own age. Now, do as I say! Go write to Sirius before I change my mind."

James was angry, but he did as his mother asked. He wrote a hasty invitation to Sirius and sent it with the family owl. Then he began to unpack some of his clothes and shove them into the drawers of his dresser.

Once all of that was done, James found that he had too much leisure time. Images of his pale father kept entering his mind. Unable to take it anymore, James decided to write another letter.

Dear Lily, he began.

I hope you are having a wonderful holiday. Mine has been great so far. The weather is brilliant here. It's nice to be free of all the stress over O.W.L.s, don't you think?

Your mate,

James

It was awful. No way he could send that. It made him sound like a prat. Instead, crumpled it into a ball and tossed it away. Taking out another piece of parchment, he tried again.

Eleven attempts later, James decided to quit. Laying on his bed, James tried to keep his mind off of his father by simply thinking of Lily. Where was she now? Was she with her family? Was she having a good holiday? Was she thinking of Remus, or Sirius, or him? What if she was thinking about Peter? The thought made James shudder. Lily and Peter? The children would be little red-headed, rat babies... But then again. How much better would that be than a green-eyed child who's hair wouldn't lie flat? James chuckled to himself.

Like that would ever happen.

The truth was, as soon as Lily walked away from James at Kings Cross she literally ran into her sister.

"Ugh! Watch where you're going, freak!" her lovely sister said.

Lily gave a wary smile. "Nice to see you too, Tuney."

Petunia scowled. "The feeling is not mutual. And don't call me that."

"Oh, there you are girls!"

Lily's mother came bustling into view with her father following behind.

"Mum! Dad!"

Lily ran to embrace them both. It had been so long since she'd seen them.

"There you are, Lily-flower. We've been looking everywhere for you!"

Lily smiled up into her father's kind face.

"Sorry Dad! I was just-"

"She was just talking to some boy." Petunia sneered. Lily flashed her an annoyed look, knowing she was about to get the third degree.

"Yeah. Just a friend." she said.

"A boy?" her mother asked. "Lily, you know I worry about you. In that big school with no adult supervision..."

"Mum! Relax. I said he was just a friend."

She rolled her eyes, though her mother still looked concerned.

"Come on, family!" her father called merrily. "The car's waiting. I got an excellent parking space this year!"

Lily picked up her trunk, blushing. She desperately hoped no one heard her father yelling about the car. Muggle things weren't always welcome.

Then a feeling of shame rushed over her. This was her family! Why should she be ashamed of her Muggle roots. She was Mudblood and proud!

"Good to hear, Dad!" she said.

Petunia only scowled at her. The four of them made their way through the barrier and out into the Muggle world.

Lily's mother looked faint.

"Walking through walls! I don't think I'll ever get over it. It's amazing!" She smiled proudly at Lily. "Our own daughter is amazing!"

"She's not so special!" Petunia cried shrilly. "She's just a freak! Just like all her freak friends that go to that freak school!"

Lily winced each time Petunia said the word 'freak.' She wanted to cry. Why did her sister have to hate her so much?

"You're just jealous." Lily said. "You didn't think it was so freaky five years ago!"

"Now, girls." Their father chided. "Why don't we just try to get along? Put our differences behind us?" He put an arm around both of his daughters.

"Fine." Both Lily and Petunia grumbled.

However, they didn't speak to each other the entire car ride home. Lily answered all her parents questions the best she could. It was hard explaining to them what a boggart was. It took twenty minutes to explain to them how Professor Binns was still teaching even though he was dead.

"He's a ghost, you see?" Lily told her mother. "He can teach history because he's lived through it."

Lily hoped her mother would laugh. Instead she just said, "Well. I think the school board should look into this. After all, is a ghost-teacher really such a good idea?"

Lily sighed. She sometimes wished that her family understood her better. She knew they loved her and they loved the idea of magic, but they could never understand exactly what went on while she was at Hogwarts. It used to be nice, being able to talk to Sev. But now that door was closed.

She thought of James. He said he'd write. She hoped it would be soon. She thought of Remus. Poor Remus who had it so much worse than she did. Being Muggle-born was one thing, but being a werewolf was completely different. Having to hide something like that every month at the full moon. She was surprised no one had found out.

But, then again, someone had found out. Hadn't Severus told her his theory a thousand times? She had thought he was only guessing. Only trying to spread rumors out of spite to James and his friends. She knew now that he had been right all along. She also knew that if Severus realized he was right or had any way to prove it, he would be very dangerous to the Marauders.

She sighed. If only she could warn them. But, they didn't know that she knew their secret.

Lily wasn't an idiot. She knew that James went behind their back to tell her. She knew he broke his friend's trust to tell her this secret. She was angry with him, the prat, but she figured she'd let him live and learn with this one. After all, its not like she was his mother.

Meanwhile, Lily would bear the secret silently. Once James got up the nerve to actually tell his friends about her, Lily would be able to talk to them freely.

James and Sirius. Lily really admired the two of them sometimes. They were best friends, no matter what. Through thick, thin, and werewolves, they stuck together. Lily only wished she had that kind of friendship. First Tuney, now Severus.

What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she have close friends like the Marauders had? At least, close friends that wouldn't hurt her.

Perhaps that was why she was so short with James. One minute she trusted him, and the next she didn't. She really didn't know what to make of him. For five years she had him marked as a git, a flirt, and a bad influence. But, in less than a week, she had gotten to know this other side of him. A side of him that made her want to laugh, cry, and tear her hair out all at the same time. It was like she' been living box for five years and she was just now learning how to feel again. She supposed she'd be forever grateful to James for that reason.

But she knew there were consequences. Just knowing the truth about Remus was trouble. She could almost feel that she was part of something larger now. Somewhere, deep within her gut, apprehension was stirring. Her life was changed forever, and she knew it. Whether they knew it or not, Lily was now forever connected with the Marauders. And, knowing the Marauders, that was always a risk.

Ready or not, it was a risk she had too take.

Hogwarts, Lily thought to herself. Get ready for hell.