Ok so this chapter is really random...and Bella is slightly OOC but she comes back at the end. Some fluff as well. ENJOY!

I down own twilight...to my displeasure

BPOV

I hate Mike Newton. Edward looks so mad, I don't know if I can calm him down...or if I should calm him down, Mike needs some sense knocked into him...although Edward would probably knock what little sense he has out. Edward hasn't taken a breath in at least five minutes...maybe I should say something.

"Breathe Edward" I whispered quietly. He snapped out of his thoughts and faced me with a smile before taking a deep breath.

"Sorry love, I forgot" I watched bewildered as he intertwined our hands and continued smiling. So I didn't have to calm him down?

"Are you ok Edward?" I asked gently. He bent down and kissed me before giving me another breathtaking smile.

"Never better" He replied. Weird, not thirty seconds ago I was fearing for everybody's life in this supermarket and now...well now I'm weak at the knees. I wish this checkout line would move faster so we could just get home...I still haven't got anything to eat yet.

"You aren't mad?" I whispered quietly, looking around to see if Mike was still inside.

"Well, yes extremely, but Mike's right" Huh! He said...what?

"What?" My mind was still coming to terms with the possibility of his statement.

"Well, he said...he thought...that I was so damn lucky, and I am, to have you and your love" Edward grinned at me crookedly. My heart melted instantly and I felt tears prickle.

"I'm the lucky one" I murmured and turned my head away from him. I felt his arms encase me as he turned me back to face him.

"Bella" Edward breathed softly, lifting my chin up. "Love, we're both lucky" He kissed my lips softly, before pulling back smiling at me again. I nodded, but couldn't draw my gaze away.

"Next thanks" I heard the unmistakable sound of Mike's voice. What the hell! Wasn't he just over there? How is he even able to use his hand! No wonder the line was going so slow! I looked around and regretfully, all the other lines had at least five people waiting. Who would have thought that a small town supermarket could be so busy!

"What are you doing here Mike?" I demanded rather rudely. Edward pulled me flush against his chest and rubbed a soothing circle in my back.

"Relax love...he works here, he needs the money...apparently his family only pays him five dollars an hour" Edward chuckled in my ear too low for Mike to hear. I felt a smirk spread across my face...his parents paid me more than they did their own son.

"Good afternoon to you too Ma'am" Mike politely continued, but I saw Edward frown at him and tighten his grip on my waist. Mike was thinking dirty again.

"Edward" I grabbed his hands and loosened them slightly. "My ribs" I added, seeing the hurt look on his face. He brought my hand to his lips.

"Sorry Love" Edward replied running a hand down my face.

"Um, excuse me, but I don't want to stand here all day...watching that" Mike complained. Edward let go of me, glared at Mike and started unloading the trolley.

"So how long have you been working here?" I asked randomly, maybe this would get us out of here faster.

"I just started today" Interesting, so if he's rude I can just report him and get him fired...not that I'd do that but desperate times might call for desperate measures.

"So...Bella" Edward stood up straight and I saw anger flash in his eyes again. Great what was Mike up to now! "What are you doing tonight?" He...what...ugh! Edward had now finished unloading the trolley and Mike was bagging up our last purchases. I smiled cheekily at Edward, winked and then turned back to Mike.

"Edward and I are going to have a sex-a-thon, yourself?" I felt the grin spread across my face as all colour drained out of Mike's. I was amazed I could say that without a blush! I felt Edward's arm drape across my shoulder as he handed Mike the exact money.

"Ugh...uh...mmm" Mike stuttered.

"Thank you, have a nice day" Edward answered Mike extremely politely. I watched as Edward grabbed the five grocery bags in one hand and possessively grabbed my hand in his other.

"We need to hurry love" Edward stated quietly.

"Huh...why Edward?" I looked at him curiously...but then I heard it...the giggle.

"See Jessica, I knew she was just marrying him for the sex...he probably knocked her up and is now forced to marry her...how disgraceful." Lauren snickered as she pushed past me.

"She's just jealous love" Edward was whispering calming words in my ear but I was mad.

"Oh Lauren" I called out an evil smile placed on my face. I was sick of her gossiping about me...although what I was about to do would probably make it worse...oh well.

"Bella, isn't this a ...surprise...we didn't see you there...hello Edward" Is she flirting with my fiancé?

"Preoccupied with your own reflection again?" I asked sweetly as I heard Jessica intake a sharp breath.

"Excuse me" Lauren huffed flicking her hair back over her shoulder while making flirty eyes with Edward.

"Are you always this stupid Lauren or are you making a special effort today" I tried again...when was she going to get that I was insulting her.

"What did you just say?" Lauren demanded. I felt Edward's hand on the small of my back; I felt the smile on my face grow.

"Well you must be to insult me behind my back, loudly I might add, and just expect me to accept it...seriously deluded" I shook my head in mock disgust. Finally she caught on.

"Yeah, well... I thought of you today. I was at the zoo." Ha ha ha, this was going to be so fun!

"I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance." Lauren looked confused for a minute before she got it...took her long enough.

"You are such a smart-arse, I bet you could sit on a tub of ice cream and tell me what flavour it is." That was bizarre Lauren...bizarre.

"If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid." I smiled.

"Bella, come on love...I love a good cat fight as much as any man...except Emmett...but please love" Edward whispered in my ear in an attempt to distract me.

"I'm Blonde...what's your excuse" Wow, Lauren actually retorted quickly.

"Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn." Edward groaned.

"You really are as pretty as a picture. I know I'd love to hang you." Lauren snapped. Now this was fun!

"Every girl has the right to be ugly, but I'm afraid you've abused the privilege." I yawned in mock boredom. Lauren let out a little shriek.

"Yeah! Well... Yo momma's so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning." Finally some competition!

"Yo momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." I returned instantly. I loved that Emmett had spent all last weekend educating me on the ways of Yo momma jokes. I would have to thank him.

"Yo momma's so fat, her car is made of spandex." Ok random...Lauren you can do much better than that. By now we were standing inches away from each other. Jessica and Edward were standing off to the side watching intently.

"Yo momma's so fat; she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic." I really used to think I was below yo momma jokes, apparently not.

"I hate you!" Lauren screamed in my face. I smiled...victory is mine!

"Talk is cheap but that's OK - so are you." My smile grew bigger until she jumped on me. Lucky I was used to the strength of mythological creatures...not that I needed it, she was weak. I latched onto her hair as she screamed profanities at me, slapping me. We were getting right into it, her nails were digging into my skin so I yanked on her hair.

"OW!" She screeched, instantly letting me go. Wow, for my first fight that sure was easy. Suddenly I found myself tackled to the ground with Lauren around my waist. My ribs and back were searing with pain. Ouch! Did she just bite me! I felt someone pull me out of Lauren's grasp as the manager dragged Lauren off me, kicking and screaming. Edward held me to his chest, I was breathing heavy but I was no way about to attack Lauren again...like she so obviously trying to do.

"Let me go!" Lauren shrieked, she was begging to look scary.

"Ma'am, calm down, I'm going to have to ask you to leave" The Manager was obviously enjoying holding onto Lauren.

"What about them!" She spat at us.

"We were on our way out when you so rudely intercepted us" Edward replied smoothly. "So if you don't mind, we'll be going now" Edward focused his attention to the manager who nodded in response.

"That was so HOT!" I heard Mike yell as Edward led me outside. I felt my cheeks turn red. Same old Bella. Edward placed the groceries in the boot before cornering me against the side of a car. I gulped...was he mad? I know I shouldn't have overreacted like that but...

"Bella, love" Edward began rubbing his hands up and down my arms gently. "Why did Lauren's statement get you so riled up?" I studied his eyes carefully. Apparently he wasn't as upset as he was amused.

"Edward" I exhaled deeply before continuing "She blatantly insulted you, then she began to flirt with you...it just made me upset" I shrugged staring down at my feet.

"So you were jealous and thought you had to stand up for me" Edward asked slowly. I nodded.

"Well you are my fiancé, just staking my claim" I muttered, but with his supersonic hearing of course he heard me. He moulded his body to mine before he tilted my chin up, crashing his lips down on mine. The kiss was passionate to say the least. I felt Edward's tongue flick out and graze me bottom lip, causing me to moan. He pulled away chuckling while I gasped for breath.

"You have no idea how sexy you are when you're jealous and protective" Edward murmured in my ear. My heart was racing. Edward kissed my neck, right above my madly throbbing pulse and chuckled again. "And a sex-a-thon, really Bella" He rolled his eyes before stepping away and opening the passenger's door and helping me in. The ride back to the house was silent...I was still feeling embarrassed. I watched as Edward turned off the engine and growled. I looked at him quizzically.

"Alice saw the fight and now Emmett wants a play by play and a re-enactment between you and Rosalie." Edward grumbled. I hung my head.

"I'm sorry I embarrassed you Edward" I whispered softly staring out the window.

"Bella...you didn't embarrass me at all...or yourself for that matter...only Lauren" Edward pulled me into his lap and began playing with a strand of my hair. "Actually...it was quite a turn on" He admitted very quietly in my ear. I felt the blush stain my cheeks again. Edward kissed my lips softly as his hands held onto my waist, his thumbs rubbing up and down my sides. I slowly ran my hands up his chest and up behind his neck. He lifted me up and sat me so I was straddling him again without breaking the kiss. Suddenly, we were rudely interrupted by a knock on the window. I pulled away from Edward, my cheeks turning redder. I tried to slide off his lap but he wrapped and arm around me, keeping me there. I couldn't watch as he rolled down the window...whoever was standing there I didn't want to know.

"Hello my little sex-capaders...starting your marathon a little early aren't we?" Emmett laughed as I leaned my head against Edward's chest and groaned.

"I hate Alice...I'm never going to live that down" I complained into Edward's shirt.

"Not as long as I can help it!" Emmett promised gleefully before running off back to the house after Edward growled at him.

"I'm sorry love" Edward kissed just below my ear and trailed kissed down my neck. "I suppose we should go inside" He allowed, sighing. My stomach growled again...always at the most inappropriate times. "You still haven't had anything to eat" I saw the concern in his eyes.

"Well come on, I'm hungry" I giggled as he slid out of the car with me in his arms. Setting me down, he grabbed the groceries and led us into hell...cough...I mean the house.

REVIEW...like it? Hate it? Think it was random or stupid? I really just wanted Lauren and Bella to get into a cat fight...