Fix You
"And the tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something you can't replace, when you love someone but it goes to waste, could it be worse?"
(I LOVE this song, and I thought it kinda fit perfectly here.)
I guess that she was right, there wasn't a way to go back on her leukemia. But, it couldn't hurt to hope, could it? Was it so wrong to wish that she could battle this? Maybe it was kind of selfish on my part, I just wanted her to fight this so I could have her for myself. I wanted the right thing, but for the wrong reasons. It killed me to see her angry, especially at me. Her life was complicated enough as it was, why'd I have to go and make her mad?
I didn't have a clue what I would do when she wasn't here anymore. My life wouldn't be complete unless she was right there beside me every second of the day.
What would motivate me to get up in the morning if I couldn't see her face at school?
I wouldn't be able to hear her fooling around on her guitar, plucking a beautiful melody without realizing it.
Her angelic voice would never sing to me again.
I would miss all of that.
I would miss all of our silly fights, every single second we'd seen each other.
She was my anchor, the only thing that kept me sane.
There was nothing I would miss more than her, I loved her with all my heart, nothing would change that, even when she was gone. How I would move on, I don't know, because the chances of loving anyone the way I loved her was very slim. I regretted what I said to her, I regret making her mad. Her life was almost over, and, if she was hellbent on the thought that she wasn't going to make it, I wanted her to live it right, happily. If she thought that it was her time to go, if God thought the same thing, maybe it was wrong of me to think otherwise.
Was it really her destiny to die, so soon?
She was only eighteen, it couldn't be her time. She still had it in her to fight it off, she was strong. If this was taking this big of a toll on me, I couldn't even imagine what it was doing to Miley. She was the one who would be gone, not me.
But, it would be like a part of me was missing, the part where my heart had been.
I lay back against the soft leather couch, and felt my eyelids slowly begin to collapse. After a few seconds, I was out cold. Again, my dream was about Miley.
There she lay, looking weaker and paler than ever. Her body took an unconscious form, but, it was somewhat peaceful looking. Ironically, a small smile played at the edge of her lips, and it was frozen there. I took one look at her, and couldn't help but begin to cry. This was it, the end for her, the end for us, if there even was an 'us'. A machine beeped steadily, weakly, by her bed, reading that she was, in fact, still alive, but she wouldn't be so for long. Doctors stood by her side, murmuring to each other, and jotting quick notes on a sheet of paper. This really couldn't be happening, not so soon. Three months had turned into barely a couple weeks. Just looking at her, it was impossible to think that she was wrong, that there was no way for her to pull through this. She was right, if it was her time to go, I should have let her go in peace. Instead, she would go thinking that I was mad at her.
I heard a familiar ringing, and my favorite song was playing loudly. I looked around, trying to figure out where it was coming from. Then the ringing stopped.
I bolted upright suddenly.
It had been my phone that was making the noise. I picked it up from where it rested on the coffee table.
'One missed Call: Ms. Cyrus'.
I pressed the 'Call Back' button, wondering why Miley's mom was calling me. The phone rang once, before Miley's mom answered.
She was crying.
"Nick, please, could you come down to the hospital? Miley came home crying, then, I don't know what happened, but she screamed, and I found her lying on her floor. I rushed her to the hospital, Nick, and they're saying that she's in a coma, with about a one in a million chance of making it. I think you can make it better, though. She always reacts positively to the sound of your voice."
My eves widened, and then I felt the tears come.
I had to work hard to choke out "Yes, of course, Ms. Cyrus, I'll be there as soon as I can."
She sniffled. "Thank you, Nick,"
OK, I'm sorry it's been FOREVER since I've updated this, but I've had other commitments. I just hope you like it, and I'm sorry it was so short. I'm just now getting into the writing mood again. :)
