Chibi Free Holiday Chapter Nine
Aww my aching head…Damn you Nii for your mad scientific experiments!!! God help you if I ever decide to get my hands around your neck and squeeze the life out of you…
Everything was going so brilliant until he brought out that cyborg like Pigeon and unleashed among a group of helpless toddlers
However I was told to flung this in
WE CAN ASSURE YOU THAT MANY INNOCENT TREES AND PHONE BOXES WERE SEVERLY INJURED IN THE MAKING OF THIS CHAPTER…
Hang on a second…Trees…Phone boxes … what the hell…
Experiments of Doctor Nii Vs Me
It's night time in the complex and I am wondering around the place out of boredom. I wanted to get a drink of Coke since I hadn't touch any of it since I got off the ship. I am un-accompanied by any of the Chibi's… well…no not really…
"Um excuse me?" I looked down into my black skull hand bag to see a little shy Yaone peeking her head out of my bag; she was blushing when I looked down on her.
"Are you sure this is alright…I mean you do need some alone time…" I gave her a glance with a smile and replied "Nah, besides you need to enjoy yourself too instead of keeping tabs on the Chibi Prince and his glutton of a sister…"
"Yes Yaone you do need to enjoy yourself more!" That would be Hakkai who has managed to climb up unto my shoulder…how the hell?
"Um…Hakkai…I thought you said that you were going to keep an eye on the little terrors…"
Hakkai gave one of his calm smiles before replying "Oh they were being annoying so I slipped some of Yaone's sleeping formulas into their drinks, they should be out until tomorrow morning"
"Oh, thanks" I said with a sudden wistful smile, finally for the first time in months I can get a good nights sleep.
Yaone fixed Hakkai with a stern look "You gave them my sleeping potion?" Hakkai who almost looked like he was about to flinch in front of her glare, but only nodded.
Yaone's glare turned into a worried expression, I wonder what's up?
"But it's not ready yet Hakkai…" she informed him. "There were some serious side effects that I had to look into…" I glared at her shockingly…oh my god…side effects…?
"What kind of side effects? Why were you making such a thing anyway?" I asked her in a cold voice. She flinched and started twiddling her thumbs as she answered softly…
"Um well you see…I thought that they were giving you a really hard time so…I planned too…knock them out with the formula once every now and then to give you a good nights sleep"
I gave her a smile "Thanks, really…but what were the side effects"
Ping Pong
"Ahem…attention listeners this is your god speaking"
I stood there gawking at the speaker in disbelief for several seconds before the identity of this self proclaimed deity before muttering to myself in a slow and agonizing voice…
"Oh god…"
Oh shit…Yaone then jumped up unto my shoulder and patted it gently as she said to me…"Um the side effects are violent sleep walking and a serious need to eat prawns…" Then she fixed Hakkai with a look of pure anger
"DAMMIT HAKKAI!" she shrieked as she grabbed him by the collar and started to shake him violently. My kind of girl…
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH IT UNTIL I COULD GET IT FIXED!"
"Attention employees your undisputed god of this earth has issued the following new rules of office…" That had to be Sanzo no one else could be so egotistical as to consider himself god in his own chibiful delusions.
"Ahem…1. A clean desk is a sign of a sick mind!
2. Tomorrow we are going to get organized so prepared to get fired!"
Oh shit… I ran down through the front door and into the managers office…
"3. The Boss my minion of this place is always right…uh…misinformed, lazy, stupid, a complete moron and prick but always right…the cheap bastard"
That bastard…Yaone looked at me worryingly "What you going to do?" I looked at her with an evil smile and replied "I'll think of something…in the mean time…do you know where I placed that baseball bat that my brother sent me?"
"Um I think I saw Goku leaping around with it…" Hakkai replied still recovering from Yaone's fit. DAMMIT BROTHER WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE ME A RIFLE, A SHOT GUN…ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was a sudden ring from my mobile…I took it and answered "Yes hello?"
"You rang?" It was James…
"Um no…" then I thought…oh no Gojyo was playing with my mobile earlier for prank calls…he even pranked the prime minister…I'm so screwed… Then another thing hit me…
"WHY THE HECK DIDN'T YOU GIVE ME A SHOT GUN!"
"HEY I'M A TECH STUDENT NOT A REPRESENITIVE FOR THE BLOODY MAFIA!!"
"Listen carefully to this James…" I raised the mobile calmly so that he could hear Sanzo's announcements
"You will here by repeat after me…ahem…We the Willing, led by the unknowing…doing the impossible for the ungrateful little bastard!" I took the phone back down and said to him
"Yeah see the shit I have to deal with now a days?" I heard a sigh from the other end…
"How the heck did he get so delirious?" asked James.
"It's a long painful story don't ask…."
"Hm? What the devil! AAAAAAAAGGH NOT THE FACE ANYTHING BUT THE FACE AAAAAAGH!!!!"
I flinched as I turned my attention back to the phone as I calmly told him "Niisan I might have to call you back…later bye…"
I ran down to the office to see Sanzo inflicting pain unto a defenseless manager as he kept biting his face. Ewww…that's gotta hurt… I looked over to the corner noticing a brush, I ran over to it, right this should get the little monster off.
I began to beat Mad Maniac Chibi Sanzo with the brush "Bad Sanzo, Bad Sanzo!" I kept saying as I then smacked him really hard which resulted in him being fired out the window…it's amazing what Chibi's can do now a days, especially the maniacal ones.
"Hm?" I looked down on the manager as it would seem that he was in the fetal position and is in shock as he kept saying 'Not the Face, Not the Face' over and over again…I sighed as I threw the brush down and walked out of the office
"Now what was I going to do again? Oh yes going to the bar!" I smiled as I walked down the path way.
As I walked down to the bar with Yaone still arguing with Hakkai. Aww man they sound like a married couple…god dammit!
Now as I was walking to the bar I notice a little whimpering noise…hmm…for some reason that noise sounds very familiar. I turned my head slowly round to see a well. You know one of those many wishing wells that people use to wish for something and it was supposedly to be true?
I wonder if I could make a wish so that the Chibi's would go away…but then again I knew that it wouldn't work because I've already reached the breaking point to insanity and that if I do make a wish I'd probably be praying to any religious figure begging them to take the Chibi's away then people will start looking at me and think that I would be insane and then call 999 and then I'd be in a straight jacket and hauled away by the weird looking bastards in white coats and ugly looking glass and will suffering by being forced to forever play a game of chess…
Well anyways I walked over to the well and examined it, until I looked inside of the well, I jumped as I took a step back, flinging the two Chibi's off my shoulder and making them land unto the ground.
Then I swallowed my courage and looked into the well again placing a serious face on. "Simon…why are you in a well?"
Yes it was Simon Duddy that Sanzo terrified to death, he was now quivering in the belly of the well, I'm surprised that there wasn't any water…Simon popped his quivering head out of the well and replied as he hesitated.
"I…Is…Is the Dust Bunny King around?" My eyes suddenly went into a dark demonic look as I turned my head around. Sanzo… who else would try the old Dust Bunny routine? First it was a joke to scare Goku…then it was the ghost stories…then the masks… but now it's gone too far…
"And his white fluffy minion?" Wait a minute white fluffy minion? I looked at him with my eyes a bit in confusion but still try and keep a serious face. Hakkai and Yaone are now standing at the bottom of the well; I looked down to see Hakkai giving me the thumbs up.
That means that he's not going to cause any trouble…because if he does then that means that he's going to be thrown into the disposal bin…
"Um…Simon what did this fluffy minion look like?" I asked politely trying to keep a smile on my face. Simon quivered as he slumped himself further into the well's bowel. I think he knew that I wasn't all smiles and laughs…
Wise little man…
Then I just asked politely "Was it a rabbit?" Simon shocks his head violently and yelled "It wasn't a rabbit it was a bunny!!" I sweat dropped a bit at that outburst.
"Um they're really the same thing Simon……Um…Simon…" I directed my eyes down to see a little Hakkai with a huge banner saying 'It must Be That Maniac' then Yaone piped up with another banner saying 'Nii' I nodded as I returned my smile towards the shivering moron that has hidden himself away in the world of torment…
"You sure you haven't been drinking too much Coca-Cola?" I grabbed Simon's arm as I immediately decided to pull the poor soul out of the well.
"Well now that you've mentioned it…I have been drinking a lot…" I nodded as I decided to go into psychiatrist mode. "Yes it is very horrible to become a glutton one of the many sins…from the horrible seven…how about we get you some coffee?" I suggested brightly.
Meanwhile some where in the depths of the bar is an acquaintance with old friends who are now in the form of violent sleep walking…except Gojyo of course because of the moment he heard sexy feminine voices he finally snapped out of it and is now rummaging through the mountains and piles of the striper's sexy underwear and silky bra's…
Kougaiji is still in the sleep walking stupor but has now found him self gulping down a giant glass of rum… followed by three tequila's and one Budweiser…how I know this I had a very reliable source…known to you as Ms. Good and Wonderful Lirin talking in her sleep … she does that now a days…
Goku on the other hand is still running around with the baseball bat hitting many innocent seagulls…he's going to regret later on I will assure you…
Doku is trying to stop Goku from damaging anything else…you must be wondering how he did that…Hm…should I tell you Before or After he got hit by Goku's mighty whacks?
…Well I would but then it would take a long time…
"Well…you sure you don't want pretzels with that Simon?" I asked as the traumatized Simon lifted up a cup of coffee and gulped it down. I never realized how Simon has loved coffee so much? He's just gulped down thirteen cups full and is now going into his fourteenth...
It was really interesting in how many of them he has gulped down…I couldn't believe it myself…I wonder if he has won the world record for the world's biggest drinker? Well now that I mention it, Simon has always been rumored to be an alcoholic and won in shot matches…What an age we lived in…
…You must be wondering where the little 'Duo of Crusade and Chibiness are?' well if you must know their off trying to find the trouble makers of destruction…
Well he seems to be alright now…might as well leave him before he goes into his bastard persona of a Chibi punching bag…
"I'll be leaving you now…and…make sure not to drink too much Coke again kay?" Or too little…you brainless fool with a peanut for a brain…
Although I must give him a little credit…at least he's playing nicely with the Chibi's…although I have convinced him that they were hallucinations because of his over dose of Coca cola amounts.
He didn't react but shivered a bit, he's slowly nodding his head now…I turned round and left as I excited through the door.
GRAB!!
I jumped as I looked down to see a dirtied face staring up at me with black shadowed eyes, messy brown hair, in blue jeans, black Metallica T-shirt and a black leather jacket with dark shoes and a beer bottle stuck in his left hand.
I narrowed my eyes; yes I would happen to know who this guy is…
"Denver…OH my god…what happened to you?!" I snapped as I looked down on him shocked and terrified. I didn't know what he replied because it was all slurred…I sighed as I bended down and hauled him up to his feet.
"You know you shouldn't really drink…" oh but how I envied the smut…he's able to get himself drunk and talk about seeing nothing but the Pink Elephants dancing all over the place, not only that but he's started smoking a couple of months ago…Oh how I envied him for not being able to see little deformed creatures with glittering eyes and little deformed hands gripping a microphone and announcing world domination and have called themselves God…
Damn drunks and hookers…I wish I was drunk…
"I vaw da wie wink wlephants…." I looked puzzled…trying my best to translate the foreign language of alcholisium…
Let's see what my translator can translate shall we?
I saw the Pink Elephants…that's not surprising…what else would you expect from a drunk teen…?
"Dand the Wittle whote bwnny woo…"
And the little White Bunny Too…….Wait a minute…Little White Bunny!! Oh crap he can see them!!
"Weah smut!!! Twhink you can kweep mwe from veeing de price Garls, fhame on you!!" shouted a high squeaky voice. I froze for a minute, drunk still in a drunken stupor to say a thing like that, that doesn't sound like something that Denver would say, course he's drunk, but not that drunk to sound so maniac-ish violent.
I slowly directed my head over to a poor defenseless phone box to see a drunken Chibi shouting at it at the top of it's lungs, you must be wondering which Chibi it is? Well I'll give you a hint the initials are S. G, No it's not Goku…he's not that much of a drinker of the hellish liquid known to most as alcohol...Yes it was Gojyo…
What is he doing? He has clung himself to a phone box and is putting gigantic teeth marks into the metal, how the hell can he do that?! I knew it; I knew something like this would happen!!
Where's Hakkai when you need him?
"Gojyo!! Leave that innocent Phone box alone!! What it ever do to you?!" shouted another squeaky voice. Speak of the devil, Gojyo jumped off the phone box and ran off towards a tree, he stopped for a minute looking up a\t it in silence…minutes passed…silence still…then suddenly…
"Wake Away Me Wink wills yeah…ARRRGH!!" Holy cow…I couldn't even believe what I'm seeing…if I was asked to write a police report…I mightn't be able to do it…but I can yet see more headlines…
Ugly Looking Troll decapitates Innocent Trees and bits into huge Phone boxes…
It's amazing how big his mouth can grow into; seriously it's about the size of my fist, bigger even…
Damn Yaone and her stupid sleeping formula and curse Hakkai for giving it to the team of maniacs in the first place…
Things can't get any worse than this…
"AAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!" I jump as I spotted a little terrified Goku running for dear life, baseball bat still in chibiful hands as he continued to dash and constantly bump into things along the way as he looked behind him, kid should consider himself to look…
"Ugh…Goku…." My eyes followed the little chibi as he ran off, still screaming, I looked over to see what he was running from. My eyes widened in shock.
"For god sake it's that fucking retarded looking pigeon again!! I warned that little demented psychotic doctor to get rid of it!!" I yelled as there was now fire appearing in my eyes. Why couldn't he be a nice little chibi and do what I said kindly, but no…he has to set it free and let it fly all over the place!!
I'll deal with the soon to be dead Chibi psycho later…
I dropped Denver unto the ground, lucky for me he was still at it as he kept muttering the words of the alcoholic.
"Oh wook a tird…" Denver mutters as he raised his finger to the cyborg pigeon. Damn drunk…
"Goku!!" I screamed as I ran after the little chibi monkey who is now climbing a tree, moron doesn't he know that Pigeons can fly?
"Goku what are you doing?" I asked him as I looked at him climbing up the tree; he was at my level now. The bat has vanished, where has it gone? Goku turned his head towards me as he replied "I'm climbing this tree…"
"Why are you climbing the tree?" Goku made a confident pose as he answered
"Because everyone knows that Pigeons can't climb trees" I sighed as I slapped my hand unto my head.
"Goku, those are dogs you're thinking of…pigeons don't need to climb they can bloody fly!!" For god sake you clueless demented Chibi ape use that small brain of yours and think for once.
All colour in Goku's face fades away…has he turned into a statue now? He's falling apart. Literally…I raise my hand as all the pieces crumbled into my palm. How can they do that? That is technically impossible that goes against everything that idiotic doctors and sciencetist's have made logic out off…
Forget it I was never good at science…
"Goku…" Goku pieced himself together again as he looked up at me..."Where's my baseball bat?" Goku shuffled his small hand into his pocket as he searched and searched…then after three long agonizing minutes he tugs out the baseball bat from his small pocket.
What the fuck…
"Here you go!" piped Goku; I took the baseball bat as I settled him back on the tree, I looked at the demented failed experiment of Doctor Nii's.
Ease bat back, wait for pigeon to come into smacking range, 2 meters, 1 meter, 50 cm, SMACK!!
Raise hand to see how far it's gotten too…the Demented Cyborg Pigeon flying incredibly far, so far in fact, that I have lost sight of it, but I swear I thought I saw it colliding into a very large tree, a tree that was much more bigger than me…nah must be my imagination…
"Hey!!" I jump as I turned round, oh god no…It's a boy I know from class…why out of all the people I know why does it have to be Sam?
"Why did you just hit a defenseless bird with a baseball bat?" Think of a reasonable yet understandable explanation for this situation to explain to a normal person who does not see Chibi's…
"Oh but you don't understand that wasn't a bird…" Sam gives me a suspicious look as he frowned at me.
"It's a new type of baseball that I bought in the gift shop…" Sam looks at me stupefied eyes wide with shock and confusion.
"That happens to resemble a pigeon…" he asks
"Yup" I smile, trying my best not to hit myself or hit Sam with the bat and hope that he forgets about me hitting a retarded cyborg pigeon into the dark abyss of craziness and insanity…
He still looks at me suspiciously, why do I get the feeling that he doesn't believe me?
To Be Continued
Sanzo's Guardian Angel: Sorry that I didn't update this chapter as soon as I could, I had lots of coursework to hand in this year, so I was actually relieved when I had tie to do this, also I had a cold so I had to stay home yesterday…, Oh and I hope you know that I've placed my latest story on Fan Fiction, Blood Stained Memories I hope you'll read it, if you're interested that is...Until the next chapter…see yeah (smiles)
