Notes: I'm sure you may have noticed some changes in the chapters. Don't worry, it's all the same story.


That's the Way

Chapter 9

In My Time of Dying

"Thank you for seeing me on such short notice." Une laced her fingers together in front of her on the desk. For the past week, Heero had been lingering around Relena's quarters. He would spend the majority of the nights in the shadows of her room, silently watching over her as she slept. He had been protecting her the way he always had.

Une would turn a blind mind to his intrusions, knowing Relena welcomed his presence and that even if she tried to keep him out, he would always find a way back in. She was okay with it if it helped keep him levelheaded.

"Why did you call me in?"

"I received an email this morning."

He stared at her, already growing tired of her ambiguity surrounding the circumstances he was here.

She took in a deep breath. "It's from Crowley."

Heero's hands balled into tight fists, his knuckles whitening from the pressure. The man's name set the disdain in his core, his emotions all being coated by the anger of what he was responsible for. The emotions simmered to the surface of his controlled exterior.

Une could see the darkening of his eyes and the tightness in his jaw. His emotions were barely restrained and she could see it clearly, no matter how slight the changes were.

"They're threatening us."

Heero leveled his gaze with Une's, coming back to the immediate reality. These people, whoever they are, were obviously very courageous. Their previous attack on Relena was successful, though in the end it ultimately failed. They must be implementing their backup plan, having since gained enough motivation to move forward.

"Can we track their position?" Heero asked.

She shook her head. "We tried. It's completely untraceable." Her face changed immediately, flashing to a level of severity that he seldom saw.

He waited patiently for her to deliver the message he was here for. He could feel his body tense, already sensing the dilemma they were soon to be facing. Things were about to get far more complicated.

"We have sixteen hours to turn Relena over to their possession—"

"I'm not giving her back." He interrupted her, visibly flaring at the notion.

She noted the possessive nature in his remark. It seemed that everyone knew how he really felt about Relena except for him.

Raising a single hand, she dismissed the idea. It was never her intent to give one of the most notable, celebrated politicians up to a group of deranged radicals. "Heero, they intend on leaking the documents if we don't. Her status of being dead or alive does not help us in this situation. She has been gone for over two years, the people are going to be in a frenzy." He did not respond but the dread he felt was obvious to sense in the air around him. "We have to prepare for serious damage control."


Relena lay quietly in her bed. She anxiously grasped small handfuls of the sheets that blanketed her frail form. She had been awake for hours, rising long before the sun. The nightmares were disrupting her sleep and she was incapable of quelling the rampant images that rushed her subconscious. Being awake did not banish the thoughts but at the very least it did not feel as real.

She closed her eyes, sinking into the pillow.

The memories fell like a stone in a lake, their presence rippling out as they consumed her. She futilely tried to rid her mind of them. The more she tried to resist, the harder her memories fought.

She remembered feeling like an abused dog the way they berated and beat her. Her living conditions were a no better an environment for an animal and she was forced to spend her days locked in that cell.

She could take the criticism and she could handle the physical strikes. But after a couple months, they grew bored and found a new way to belittle her. She knew they were monsters but they sank to a level she did not believe they would. The nightmares of those men grabbing her, of them controlling her, of them violating her were growing so vivid that sacrificing sleep was a better alternative.

It was a miserable way to live and the only way she made it through it was clinging to the swiftly dwindling hope that she would one day be rescued.

She brought her hands up, squeezing her arms in a reassuring hug. It was over now.

There was a brief knock on the door before it opened. She opened her eyes to see the nurse. "I brought your breakfast."

"Thank you."

She set it on the small table adjacent to the bed. "Is there anything else I can get you?"

"No, I'm okay."

The nurse gave her a sad smile and put an encouraging hand on her shoulder. "Just let me know if you need anything."
Relena placed her hand over hers. "I will, thank you." She smiled and the nurse left the room. She had developed a bit of a friendship with the woman who took care of her a fair portion of the day.

She glanced at the food beside her. She was not hungry. She could not remember the last time she had a full meal. Even now that she had access to decent food, she could not find the appetite to consume it. Her stomach protested but she did not want it. She pushed the tray away.

Her body was frail. She had always been thin but while in captivity it seemed like she shed pounds by the day. Gaining weight, from fatty tissue to muscle, was necessary for her recovery but it was going to be a slow process as she adjusted her new life – her old life.

She had seen herself in the mirror in recent days. Her skin was a sickly white and her eyes were dulled and grayed, dark rings and creases surrounding them. They were sunken around the sockets and her cheeks looked no better, a testament to the neglect her body had endured. She barely recognized herself, from the gaunt, angular features to the way she jumped at the slightest creak of a door. It had been the first time in over two years she saw her own visage and even if she had not changed in appearance, she doubted she would know it was her she was looking at.

Those men had broken Relena and she was ashamed of herself for letting it happen. She could have stopped them and she could have been stronger but they overpowered her by force and by will. She was dirty.

There was an emptiness in her core.

Relena, the previous Queen of the World, the princess of the Peacecraft family, the youngest Foreign Minister the Earth and Colonies had ever seen, had died at nineteen. Her imminent public resurrection would say otherwise but the day she was kidnapped was the day she died. She was not the same person she was before and from her perspective, she could not be that person again. She was too damaged. What haunted her most was that not as strong as she thought she was. She did not deserve to be reinstated. It was already hard enough imagining what the world would think of her when they found out about her. She was a disgrace to herself and the world. No one would ever be able to even look at her, why would they ever listen to her?

She was mad at herself when the tears started to fall. She did not want to cry, she did not want people to see her like this. She tried so hard to keep it in. Heero had seen her cry, completely crumbling beneath the weight of the colossal burden of her emotions. It was humiliating. She hated how she wordlessly demanded his comfort, knowingly forcing him into a territory he was not familiar with and that he contentedly avoided. She was selfish and needy.

The knock at the door startled her, eliciting a shrill yelp from her throat between her quiet sobs.

Sally came in quickly, clearly alarmed. "Are you okay, Relena? I didn't mean to startle you."

Everyone had to tiptoe around her. "It wasn't your fault." She whispered, turning head the away from Sally, hiding her tears. She wiped frustratingly at her cheeks and nose, ridding the fluids from her face quickly as possible. It was obvious she had been crying. She sniffled.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sally had tried futilely to will Relena to talk about what happened but she refused. She did not want to make her problem everyone else's – at least not anymore than it had already become.

"No." The word ran past her lips before she had a chance to stop it. The last thing she was trying to be was rude.

Sally nodded, accepting the decision she had been anticipating. She picked up the chart, thumbing through the papers. "How is your arm feeling?" She asked without looking up from her reading.

She replied absently, having been through the same questioning countless times. She was tired but she could not sleep. She was hungry but could not find an appetite. And though she would never say it, she just wanted the other woman to leave so she could be left alone. She was not up for questions. Her polite nature superseded her welling agitation.

The question just came out. "What happened to my staff?"

Sally was silent for a moment that felt longer to Relena than it actually was. "Relena..." It was the only thing she could find the words for, her voice trailing off and dropping into a heavy silence.

Relena instantly knew what that meant. Tears brimmed her eyes, her gaze falling to her lap. "All of them?" She whispered.

"I'm sorry."

She simply nodded, biting her bottom lip as she did all she could to stop the tears. A few minutes passed as she collected herself, regaining her familiar political demeanor.

"Why did you think I was dead if you didn't find a body?"

"We found teeth."

She thrummed absently at her teeth, running a tongue over the solid enamel. "I have all my teeth."

"We know that now." Sally stated. "That means your dental records were swapped out. The digital and hard copies were both changed. That's a physical task. The teeth we found were so damaged and charred that we couldn't pull DNA from them. Matching was the only way."

"Oh."

"We had no way of knowing you were alive. We searched the grounds for over a week and we didn't find anything to tell us that you survived. We didn't want to accept that you were gone but all the evidence told us that you were. No words can express how regretful we are for such a blunder but I'm sorry, Relena."

She was quiet. The sorrow expressed in Sally's words stung Relena's heart, her chest tightening. She never blamed any of them for not finding her sooner than they had. She blamed herself for falling victim to such a crime. They did all they could and with the only evidence telling them that they she had not, why would they believe she survived. They never made a mistake, they did everything right.

"Relena?"

It was suddenly impossible to breathe. The anxiety tightened her airway, her breaths coming out in short, sputtering gasps. She brought her hand up to her chest, grasping at her gown desperately as if it would suddenly relieve the pressure that sat heavily on her body. Her eyes were wide and glassy, clouded with a blinding fear. Her thudded erratically against her ribs, each beat resonating in her ears.

Her mind grew more disoriented with each shuddering pant. She struggled out of bed as she tried to escape the arms grasping at her. They were touching her again. They found her. They said they would always find her and they had. She had to get away from them.

She started yelling, thrashing in the tangled web of arms around her body.

"Stop! Let me go!" She clawed her way past them. She could see the open doorway. She just needed to reach that door.

She could feel their hands around her waist. "Leave me alone!" She clawed at his grip feebly. The tears burned her cheeks, the humiliation searing her flesh like acid as they broke her again.

She felt a pinch in her arm. They were drugging her again.

"No, please." Her words were slurring as the poison swam through her veins. "Stop." Her limbs grew too heavy to fight with and she could not protect herself from these monsters again. The world slanted. "Don't." Her voice echoed, sounding far away and foreign to ears.

She was looking up at the ceiling and then Sally came into her view. Her mouth was moving but her words were muffled, like she was talking to her while she was underwater. She could not make out anything she was saying. Black rings crept into her vision, slowing eating away everything in her sight and lifting her into the void.


Heero was shaken. He had been walking to Relena's room when he heard her screams. His senses were on high alert as his body went rigid. His legs carried him in long, heavy strides. He ran into the room to see Sally and another nurse struggling to subdue her. He saw her eyes for the briefest moment and saw the same look she gave him when he first found her. It was an empty awareness, of being attentive but disoriented.

He grabbed her, his hands nearly encircling her entire, emaciated waist. She was small and fragile and he was afraid he would hurt her. Sally injected her with the sedative with the nurse's assistance and it was a matter of seconds before she passed out. He lifted her back into the bed and left the room without looking back.

Sally grabbed him from the hallway and led him to her office.

He was pacing for several minutes, silent, as he was lost in thought. Sally waited patiently at her desk, allowing him to settle. It was easy to tell the young man had grown steadily anxious as the moments passed.

Suddenly his dark eyes were on her. "What happened?"

She sighed, straightening her posture. "It's not unusual for rape victims to get lost in a state of hypervigilance. It is a common symptom of posttraumatic stress disorder."

He stiffened at the word. He did not want to think about those terrorists with their hands any where near Relena. He tried to banish the thoughts from his mind completely. "She has seemed fine."

"Seeming is not being. She needs help to deal with this but she refuses it. It's obvious enough to say that she thinks she needs to be strong enough to deal with this on her own but the fact is, what she endured was traumatic. Her mental state will never heal if she does not accept help. She doesn't have to talk to me but she needs to talk to someone. She cannot keep this inside. Or else moments like these will keep happening."

He was processing her words gradually. He had always known Relena to be strong and was perplexed as to why she would start doubting her strength now. She had survived what she went through and she way making her recovery to health with each passing minute. Weak was the last thing she could ever be.

"I will talk to her." He turned to exit the office. Before he opened the door, Sally called out.

"Don't force her. We want her to talk, but if she refuses, don't push her. This is a wound that can't be helped with applied pressure."

He waited in Relena's room for her to wake up, the drug's effect still heavy in her system. It was two hours before she came to.

"Heero." She breathed, his name a low whisper on her lips. Her eyes were glazed with fatigue.

He watched her carefully. "Don't shut yourself down."

She blinked in confusion. "What?"

"You are refusing to talk to anyone about what happened. You should." His words were detached, sounding callous and analytical.

"You are telling me that I need to talk?" She was getting defensive, her eyes darkening at his uncouth comments.

"I am."

She glowered as fiercely as she could muster. "Why should I talk to you of all people?"

Looking straight in her eyes with a burning intensity, her glare faltered involuntarily. "Because I'm trying to help you. I don't know how but if you talk, I will listen."

The tears were welling in her eyes again, making them shine with a fearful sadness. She crinkled her nose in frustration, making her voice as sturdy as possible through her welling sobs. "I don't want to talk about it, Heero." She looked away, trying her best to hide the falling tears.

"You are stronger than you give yourself credit for." Suddenly she looked back at him. "I am here to listen." He reiterated.

Relena was quiet for a while, looking everywhere in the room except at Heero. She was scared and embarrassed. The thought of having to talk about her ordeals was terrifying to her. Heero had saved her, had seen her at her worst and he still had so much faith in her strength when she had given up on it long ago. She was an object to those moment, nothing more than a toy that they could play with whenever they wanted. She was not sure if she would be able to talk about it.

Though the minutes passed slowly, he still waited with all the patience in the world. He did not shift in his seat, he did not interrupt her thoughts and he did not pry. He accepted her concerns and doubts and he waited.

Finally she met his gaze, his eyes looking through every barrier she had in place and coaxing away every fear that gnawed at her core. He said she was strong all on her own but looking into his eyes as this moment, she knew that he was her strength. She spoke softly.

"I don't remember much about my kidnapping. One moment I was in the kitchen and the next they were dragging me off a shuttle in space. They took me to that prison. It was like a maze walking through there the few times that I had been out of the cell. I lived in the small room my entire time in captivity. It was humiliating." She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms protectively around them. "I was stubborn for a long time. I would never let them see me cry or hear me scream. They hated that. They wanted to break me but I refused to let them." She laid her head on her knees, facing him.

"I said how sure I was that you were all coming to save me and it would only be a matter of days before you were there. I was so sure of it and I would flaunt that confidence. It only made them mad. Eventually they would start to hit me on a daily basis. I would go days without food. The more time went by, the less I would say you would rescue me." She buried her face in her knees, finding it easier to talk when she was not meeting his gaze. "They started touching me. And that soon turned into them completely controlling me. They got me to scream after that. I…" She faltered, struggling to bring the words together. "I was a virgin before that and they took that from me. They took everything from me."

Heero could see the blush radiating on her ears and neck. She lifted her head again.

"My hope in Preventers and in you just dwindled into nothing the longer I was there. After I stopped believing anyone would find me, they started to taunt me. They would tell me that you were onto them and they were going to transfer me. But after a while they would laugh and tell me that I would die their pet." Her eyebrows creased as she looked back at him. "The verbal abuse was easy to manage. I could bit my tongue when the physical assaults started. But when they started controlling me…I felt powerless."

She wiped the tears away, rubbing her eyes with her palms. "No one knew I was alive. No one knew where to find me. The world was getting along fine without me. I was nothing but a fading memory to universe."

She stopped, the emotional turmoil of the recalling the memories too much for her to manage. "I'm sorry, I can't keep talking about this right now."

Heero did not respond, he was accepting the information given to him and using every ounce of strength he can to keep his anger under control. He was completely livid and the heat burned him to the core. He kept his voice devoid of any emotion. "Did they say anything about what their intentions were?"

She shook her head. "No, I didn't know anything. I'm sorry."

He nodded mutely. It was becoming impossible to control himself. "They plan on framing the ESUN and Preventers for killing you."

Her face dropped even further. "No..." She whispered. "But how?"

"They have documents. We had some analysts look over the digital copies of the files that we found. They said they're in perfect condition. It is virtually impossible to tell that they're forgeries."

"How long do you have?"

"Eleven hours."

"What are their demands?"

He turned his head away from her. "They want you back."

"No!" She shouted immediately, reaching out to touch him but she stopped inches from his arm. A strong hand took hold of hers, her delicate fingers curling into the comforting hold. "Don't give me back." She whispered.

"I was never going to hand you over to those people." His stare was fierce and she melted inside as the dedication in his eyes glowed brightly with a ferocious intensity. He would always protect her, ever faithful to his promise.

Their eyes stayed connected as the rest of the world around them stood still, his hand strong but gentle around hers.

She pulled back. "You can't tell people that I'm alive."

"Relena, we—"

"Please. Don't. The media will be after me if they know and I—I'm not ready for that. I'm begging you not to."

He gave her a curt nod. "I'll talk to Une."

"No need to." The door slid shut behind her. "Relena, we need to reveal your status to avoid a potential civilian riot and outbreak of war. This is bigger than you, than us – this is for the safety of peace."

Relena looked fearful, conflicted about her needs and the needs of the people. It would be damaging to her mental health if people were in a frenzy to see her and to put her in the limelight at this time. But more importantly, to stay hidden would have major repercussions in the political realm, from the earth to the colonies. She was a symbol for peace and if the people protecting her and the government she was a part of supposedly teamed up to kill her, people would be picketing in the streets and the colonies would lash out. It was an impossible decision for her to make at the moment but she did not have any time.

"I just…I can't do it." Her eyes were begging her to understand how difficult this was. "I don't know what I would do."

Une sighed, giving into her plea. "Either way, we needed to be prepared for the flare up. I will be in my office working on a statement." She fixed her gaze on Heero. "I suggest you be cautious. It is well known that you were Relena's bodyguard, fingers will be pointed at you for your involvement."

The following morning was quiet. The documents were going to be released at midnight of that morning and there was nothing. The news was quiet, the recruits were hard at work and the people were carrying on with business as usual.

Une was worried. She did not believe with such viable evidence in their hand that they would use it as a bluff if they had the chance to move forward with their plans, as skeptic as she was about them. The most plausible explanation was they wanted to start a war. But why would they hesitate at the opportunity? It was not adding up to her.

Their intents could simply be to tarnish the name of the ESUN or to completely discredit the Preventers as universal police force. These people were obviously people of action. She could not piece it together.

Her entire morning she was distracted, having slept very little the night before to keep her eye on every credible news station the earth and colonies had access to. And nothing about Relena's death and the people responsible were on.

She had to attend to an important meeting this morning with ESUN and colony representatives. Quatre was in attendance for the L4 colony, having gone back to his normal ritual as a political figure of the colony and leading his family's business. He had been working for her as a freelance Preventer on Relena's case when the instances arose.

It was hard to focus with so much on her mind. The future projects and expansions of the security in the galaxy with Preventers was doing little to interest her. She had already expanded Preventers into some of the colonies but she wanted to keep moving out and would eventually be in place as the sole task force on Mars. She was not trying to monopolize the security of the galaxy but she was aiming for more consistent laws spread across the population with police that were well trained in a similar way. So far the representatives were pleased with notion and her plans were moving forward.

Considering her reputation and all of Preventers was in jeopardy, this meeting would possibly only end up being a waste of her efforts.

"What do you think of that, Commander Une?" A man with graying hair inquired, snapping her out of her reverie.

She was quiet, discontent with her lack of professionalism.

"We were considering placing two large Preventers bases on the main colonies to use as Special Forces and to maintain these peaceful times. The police stations already present can remain in place and handle the day-to-day." Quatre repeated, having sensed her distracted state from the start of the meeting.

She grimaced. "While that is a reasonable proposition, I think it would eliminate any confusion of authority if it we were to have one police force. We could have it function as a merge of the Preventers and district police which handles crimes in the same way but all would be of Preventers and those new to the force would have the opportunity to rise in the ranks in this organization."

Another man scoffed. "Why bother? You're just trying to get your hands in every reach of the human populous. Our police systems have worked just fine for two hundred years. We don't need your help."

"I understand why you would feel that way but this is for no reason beyond the betterment of the people. It would be a great support to the maintenance of peace all across the earth and colonies instead of us having to look into potential threats from afar and having to reach our smaller contacts that may not be stationed on the colonies home of the threat."

He stood up abruptly, the chair sliding behind him across the tile. "Now listen here, I come from a good colony with good people. And I don't need people like you acting like we're a bunch of criminals."

She raised her hands in mock defense. "That is not what I was suggesting at all, Representative Lyon. I was merely saying that—"

Duo burst into the room suddenly, Une's secretary frantically chasing behind him. "Sir! You are not allowed to be in here."

He grabbed the remote off the desk beneath the large television and threw it onto the table. "Turn on the news."


Notes: Hope I didn't disappoint!