Chapter 9

Sam had never felt so light in his whole life, it was like he was floating in the air; nobody could touch him, nobody could hurt him. He didn't know if this was a dream, or if it was just his imagination playing tricks on him, but whatever it was, he didn't want to leave this place. This place where he didn't have to think about anything or any troubles.

In the very back of his mind, he felt a light touch on his arm and then a squeeze to his hand, but Sam couldn't bring himself to respond to it. The peace surrounding him was a blessing; he didn't want anything to come in between him and that certain peace.

But what about Dean? Maybe that was him trying to reach out to him? He knew right then as he floated further away, that there was never any real peace if Dean wasn't a part of it. That was a fact. He heard a few soft voices in the dark corners of his mind, but he couldn't make out who they were or what they were saying. If he tried to force himself to heard what they were talking about, that would mean returning to the pain and leaving this peace behind.

But he would be back with Dean, wouldn't he? That was who he so desperately needed; Dean was peace. He was the one who always comforted him and took care of him. And he needed to be there for Dean as well, and if being there for his brother meant him giving up that peace, then so be it.

He tried to shove the peaceful feeling aside and return to his brother's side by opening his eyes, but there was something wrong. Terribly wrong. They wouldn't open, it was like no matter how much effort he put into that one task, his eyes would not open. It was right then that the voices in his subconscious could louder and he was able to slowly start to make out what was being said.

But if he was waking up, why couldn't he open his eyes?

The peaceful feeling was slowly leaving him as the gentle grasp on his hand tightened and he felt someone squeeze it. Sam's heart started to pound rapidly in his chest as he started to recall that the person who was holding his hand had to be Dean; more noises were heard around him, loud, annoying beeping noises and once again, another voice talking.

Suddenly, it all started to come back in a rush like an avalanche; everything that had happened the last year started to fill his mind and before he could stop it, the memory of being rushed into a hospital and into surgery filled his mind and he was unable to stop the tears from falling down his face.

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"I think he's starting to wake up," Dean whispered to himself, ignoring the fact that Garth was in the room as well, standing right beside him.

Garth drew in a deep breath and stepped closer to the older Winchester, clearing his throat,

"Have you thought anything more about where you'll relocate once Sam's out of here?" He asked tentatively, feeling like he was walking on eggshells around Dean, but finding it important nonetheless.

"I'll figure it out, Garth. I'm not going to move my brother from one shady motel room after another, if that's what you're thinking," He grumbled, not moving his eyes from Sam's hand, which he held tightly in his,

"I'll get a job so I can afford to rent us an apartment, I'll figure it out."

Garth cleared his throat again and continued,

"You might not have to worry about that-"

"If you're thinking I'm going to shack up with you, think again," Dean interrupted harshly, shooting a glare the younger hunter's way before turning back to his baby brother.

"What I mean is…I know a friend who can help you get an apartment for free the first year," Garth continued as if Dean hadn't spoken,

"I've been thinking and I made some calls while Sam was in surgery…My friend is a hunter himself and he's willing to offer you a place to stay while Sam recovers from this. He won't charge you for the first full year; all you have to do is tell him your name and that I recommended you to him and he'll take it from there."

Dean's eyes widened in shock as he looked up at Garth again, his face softening slowly as emotions filled his green eyes,

"You did that for us?"

"Yes," Garth replied, reaching into the pocket of his jacket and pulling out a slip of paper, handing it to his friend,

"Just ask for Michael Harper. His number is on the back." He waited until Dean had grasped the piece of paper and looked it over, tears brimming in his eyes,

"It's close to a hospital and Michael will take care of all the responsibilities of rent."

"What'd you tell him?" Dean whispered, turning back to his brother, hiding the tears that were now falling down his face at the sight of the heavy white bandages that were covering where Sam's eyes used to be.

"I just told them some friends, some fellow hunters, had a bad accident recently and they needed to relocate in order to heal," Garth replied, hoping that that wasn't too much information given. He watched as Dean nodded his head with a sigh of relief before continuing,

"I don't want to intrude when he wakes up…" He whispered, looking down at his Sam and his own heart hurting at his friend's condition,

"I assume you're going to want some alone time with him."

"You bet your ass I do," Dean whispered back wearily.

"Just give Michael a call; I promise you that you can trust him," Garth sadly looked in between his friends before backing out towards the door,

"I'll check in with you both in a few days."

Dean nodded in reply as Garth left the room, never paying any attention as the younger hunter nodded towards Jody who had been standing in the doorway watching. He ignored everything that was going on around him as the two left the hospital room to return downstairs and to the waiting taxi. Dean didn't pay any attention to anything other then the little brother beside him.

"It's just you and me now, Sammy," Dean replied, gently prying Sam's hand open and placing the amulet into it. He gently closed Sam's hand around it and squeezed,

"I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

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Sam felt the something being put into his hand and he instantly recognized the feel of the amulet in his palm. The pointy horns dug into his hand as Dean closed it and gave his hand a squeeze in return,

"It's just you and me now, Sammy," His brother was saying and Sam wanted to sob; his brother had found the amulet he had been wearing. He still had it. And it was just him and Dean. But letting Dean know he was now awake and letting him see the extent of what he was feeling was something else altogether; how was he supposed to tell Dean just how shitty he felt, how helpless he felt and…and how much he needed him?

It's Dean, Sam's mind was telling him as he felt Dean's hand on his forehead and the gentle rub of his thumb running through his long hair,

You can tell Dean anything and everything.

At just that thought, Sam was unable to stop himself from opening his mouth now and whispering in the still room,

"Dean…?"

"I'm here, tiger," Dean replied gently, his voice soothing as he leaned down and Sam felt a gentle kiss on his forehead before the rubbing continued,

"You're alright."

"I'm not…" Sam whispered painfully, right then wanting more then anything to return to that peaceful place he was at just moments ago,

"I'm not…alright…"

Debating whether to leave and get Doctor Brennan or a fellow nurse, Dean thought better of it at the moment and continued stroking his brother's head,

"Then I'll make it alright." Dean replied, squeezing the hand again that held the amulet,

"Are you thirsty?" As Sam nodded his head, Dean got up and quickly moved to the foot of the bed to retrieve the pitcher of water, pouring it into a plastic cup. Placing a straw in, the older brother moved back to Sam's side and placed a gentle hand on the back of Sam's neck,

"Here we go."

As Sam drank from the straw until the cup was empty, he felt Dean grasp his hand again in his,

"It hurts…"

"It's going to for a while, kiddo," Dean's voice cracked against his better judgment, all the while reaching forward to the head of Sam's bed and pressing the call button.

"How bad…What does it look like…?"

"You don't need to know that right now, Sammy, alright?" Dean quieted him, going back to stroking his brother's shaggy hair, trying not to stair at the stark white bandages,

"What we need to worry about is you healing." He wanted more then anything to tell his brother what he already knew bits and pieces of what Doc Brennan had told him about the abuse inflicted on him, but Dean was not going to be that stupid. His brother had just had his eyes removed for heaven's sake; being sexually assaulted not once or twice, but multiple times, was something else altogether and he knew that even though he didn't want to wait, it was up to Sam and Sam only for him to talk with his brother about it. He knew if Sam didn't confide in him sooner rather than later, he was going to have to do a little pushing, but now…Now, he had to push that rage towards Missy and whatever companions she had aside; Missy was dead, he had tortured and killed the bitch, getting revenge on someone else he didn't even know existed was out of the question.

As Doctor Brennan entered the room a few minutes later and took a seat between Sam and Dean, the older brother's mind started to think back to what Garth had told him earlier and the small slip of paper he had inserted into his hand. He had better take advantage of this opportunity as soon as possible, his brother was going to need him more then ever and if that meant free housing and not having to work to pay for the rent, Dean was going to jump at that chance. He unfolded the slip of paper again and looked at it, his eyes starting to water again as he silently thanked whoever cared enough to do this for Sam and himself.

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TBC